Happy Birthday . . .
May the Joy of Judy be ours today.
The joy of her life, of her goodness and love,
all be with us this day. 
May her friendship and giving, her sharing and caring, 
surround us with peace on her birthday.

Wishing all of you the the joy of Judy's peace.
 

Mom and I share a birthday month. With only eleven days between our birthdays, there were several years when my family celebrated both of our birthdays at the same time rather than have two birthday dinners in two weeks. Sometimes, when I was young, I felt a little cheated that the birthday dinner wasn’t for me alone. But as I got older, I enjoyed being able to share the birthday dinner with Mom: It was doubly special because we were celebrating two Ferrill birthdays, and Mom and I got to sit back and relax together while everyone else did the clearing and cleanup. Mom would have been 65 today. Happy birthday, Mom.

Judy and I hung out constantly. Our parents were friends so it worked out well with us. After school, weekends, and summers we were always together with others also. I have many stories about Judy and I but this is the one that stands out the most.

I turned 16 in January of 1962 and Judy turned 16 in March of 1962. My father would not let me get my drivers license. After Judy turned 16, she came over in her old Pontiac, (1955 or 1956?) and said let's go get your license and you can use my car. I agreed and off we went to get in trouble. I got my license but both Judy and I were grounded. Oh well!

A quick comment that I took Judy to my Graduation All Night Party at Pickwick Center in Burbank. I graduated in 1963 and she was just going into her senior year the following September. We danced and bowled and shot pool and talked all night. On the way home we went out to breakfast at Bob's Big Boy and then to her house by 6am, totally exhausted. I went home and napped and we were back out by 4pm that afternoon to finish celebrating. I will miss you and God Bless you.

When we moved into our house, directly across from the Ferrill's,  14 years ago, the very first neighbors we met were Reed and Judy. What a warm and genuine welcome we received! As time passed, Judy was always interested in what our kids were doing and what was happening with the family. When she started her masters program in counseling, she asked to interview my kids and our nieces and nephews, to see how they were coping with my one nephew's autism. Over she came, with questions in hand and a video camera. I recall she did well on that class project!

When our son, Josh, was in kindergarten, his teacher encouraged the kids to make May Day baskets. He put a lot of effort into his little basket, made out of  paper plates, filled it with dandelions and flowering crabapples, and set it on Reed and Judy's front porch. He also made one for Irene Brewer, next door. Well, he rang the doorbell, ran and hid, until Reed or Judy answered the door.   I think the first couple years, they wondered where this little collection of flowers came from! He continued on, coming up with a little nicer collection of flowers over the years. As I peeked out my window, whomever answered the door would make a big "show" , looking surprised and admiring the little container of flowers. Once, after he had given them some pansy's, Judy told me she planted them by the mailbox, so he would see them. I thought it was very thoughtful and sweet of her!

I also remember the time she was out walking at night, I think with one of the girls and someone on a bike hit her. She was banged up, but she took it all with a smile.

I've always been the recipient of her beautiful flower garden, as I just look across the street and enjoy her efforts. She loved to work in the garden, and told me that if you plant daffodils, the deer ( which she and Reed were always "battling") wouldn't bother them, like they do tulips. She and I always wondered why the deer ate her tulips, but left a big tulip patch at a neighbor's alone.

Speaking of deer, one winter night Josh called me to the window. There was a big buck right in front of the Ferrill's office window, staring at Judy, who was on the computer. I don't think she had any idea she was being watched!

I was thinking of how I would miss her Christmas card and newsletter, but Reed came through and sent it on! I always enjoyed hearing about all of their adventures,  how the girls were doing and how the family was growing.

We have all been blessed from having known Judy! Her contagious smile and and genuine caring spirit are an inspiration to us. She will be missed!

One of my fondest memories of Mom is from years ago, when I was looking at Colleges to attend. I wanted to study Theater. Mom was keen to see me go to a small Catholic college, as she had done.

We visited a small Catholic College (whose name escapes me) sometime during my Senior year in High School, and as part of the visit, we were given front row seats to see the current production of "Greater Tuna" a comedy in which four actors play an entire town's worth of characters.

The entire play was very funny, and we were already laughing pretty hard when the play got around to a particular section where a long-winded priest is delivering a eulogy... which is made up entirely of cliches and adages. The speech is hilarious, and the timing and delivery were masterful, and it lasts longer than you could imagine.  (8 - 10 minutes maybe? 5 at least!) Mom and I were both laughing so hard our faces and bellies hurt, and at one point as it just kept building relentlessly, we literally fell out of our chairs and were lying on the floor laughing so hard we could barely breathe!

When I was doing a lot of Theater during high school, Mom came to all my plays. From onstage, I could always tell where she was sitting, because I could hear her laughter, standing out above the sea of laugh sounds.

This photo was taken at the same supper in Denver, but the delight of being with Judy there has brought back other moments of the happiness in her friendship.  

One I remember was when we were young and discovering so much as Freshman at Loretto Heights.  The moment was her first snow!  We were walking on campus  together as snowflakes fell.  She was totally enthralled with that wonder that was so familiar to her.  I took in my new friend's wonder and was refreshed by it, and amazed.  I thought, "oh that must be what it's like being from California, no snow!"  I didn't discover the beauty of that climate until visiting friends and family there years later!

Blessings and wonder for Judy and to Reed and all the girls.

Rae

This picture was taken last summer, when I met  my dear friends, Judy and Reed, for supper in Denver.  It was such a happy, delightful evening to share the warmth of their long-standing friendship and Judy's special bright and thoughtful presence.  It was even more special because not living in Denver I rarely see them.  

I was in town at the time to be by my sister Kay's side who was ill.  Over the last year, throughout Kay's illness, through her funeral in October,  Judy the nurse and Judy the friend was a wonderful calm, kind, insightful and clear-minded support on the phone. by e-mail and happily at a couple more lunches with the two of us.  My 5 other sisters and myself loved the flowers Judy brought Kay this summer, and all loved the cheerful note she accompanied them with:  from Eleanor Roosevelt about women being strong.  I miss Judy deeply and for now can't help the tears in the moments I grasp that she is gone.  

Although far away in Quebec now I have been thinking of your whole family and sending much heartfelt love for your sorrow and many prayers.  I know too the wonderful love you have for each other will be sustaining.  Like my sister Kay, I know Judy would want us to eventually "Rejoice and Be glad."

Thank you so much Barb for getting this site together.  It helps and I am happy to be able to be in touch more easily with you Judy's beloved family.  

Katelyn - Judy's 5yo granddaughter (from her 3rd daughter Jen) was sitting with her dad (Chris) looking at pictures just after we heard the terrible news.  She told Chris to get a piece a paper because she wanted to make a card about grandma to give to PawPAw.  Here is what she had Chris write:

Katelyn's Memories

shared Christmas

had fun at the beach

did dishes with grandma

she came to our house

went to church together

she tucked me into bed

body surfing at the beach

played in the snow

read a book together

went shopping together

taught me how to draw a bird and a dog.

I was too overcome with emotion to read my own feelings about Judy on 1/9. So here goes:

Whenever I think about Judy I think about "The Team" which is the name we had for the core group of women that began playing softball together 30 or so years ago for me.

We were all so different but so much alike in our bond as friends, mothers and a team.

Judy was the solid, logical and supportive part of the team. I remember she was always there. If there was a time she was late due to "work", "school", "kids" it was always well worth the wait.

Judy was always able to draw on her personal and professional knowledge of living and caring to help others find the comfort or confidence we needed in our own lives.

Her great wit was only one of her beautiful traits that made her so unique and so loved.  She was always able to help us to laugh, cry, relax and have fun.  

We joked that she was our own "bionic" woman but you learned quicky when you played on a team with her to never underestimate her ability or competative drive. She loved to be part of the competition even if it wasn't a victory, it was all effort for the sake of taking part.

I can not express to her family, Loving husband Reed, and her four beautiful daughters or her other friends the great sorrow I feel for them. Because I can not describe it myself.

 Even if Judy was not on a "sports" team she was part of the team of life always working for the best outcome possible with every possible person she was bringing into her team.

Judy made us better people , simply for being part of our lives.

She was truly loved and admired by many friends and will be missed a great deal.

Melanie Bunnelle "Mel"

When Judy would come home from college for vacations, we shared a room.
All my favorite clothes disappeared from my closet. Low and behold, Judy was wearing them, re-wearing them and wearing them out. I would take one of her outfits to wear and holy hell broke out. I couldn't wait to get her hand-me-downs.

When I got pregnant, we traded maternity wear back and forth.
I loved getting those 3-4 times gently used outfits.

Then there were the kids clothes, back and forth they went, always reappearing with a few more stains, patches and frays but we loved saving money.

As we matured and our weight yo-yoed, the fashion boxes criss-crossed the country too many times to mention.

Last summer we were shopping for formal dresses. She found the perfect one. Even though holy hell did not break out, she got the perfect dress and as always looked beautiful in it. 

I’m sitting at Mom's desk in the kitchen (that she designed) and reading all these great quotes and sayings she has posted on her cork board:

·         Act as if you are the person you want to be (in her hand writing)

·         When God made time, He made enough of it. Celtic Saying

·         No longer forward nor behind / I look in hope or fear; / But, grateful, take the good I find, / The best of now and here. John Greenleaf Whittier

·         Fear not. God is love…and Perfect love casts out fear.

·         If you don’t transform your pain, you’re going to transmit it.

·         True perfection is the ability to include imperfection…everything belongs.

·         You can’t change yesterday but you can ruin today worrying about tomorrow.

·         Serenity begins when you stop expecting and start accepting.

·         There’s no better way to run from God than to be overly religious.

·         Conversion never stops, surrender never ceases.

·         In Everything Give Thanks. A grateful heart can enhance your health. Research shows that an “attitude of gratitude” promotes physical and emotional wellbeing and helps you cope better with stress.

·         Don’t seek what will disappoint

·         Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.

·         Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, but the realization of how much you already have. - Anonymous

·         Simply observe your longings and let go

·         Meek: a lack of pretense or arrogance, a gentleness and authentic humility that comes from understanding that ultimately one’s life and power rest in God.

·         For he shall command His angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways. Psalms 91;11

·         Make yourself familiar with the angels, and behold them frequently in spirit; for without being seen, they are present with you. St. Francis de Sales

 She lived her beliefs.

There are many rituals we encumber ourselves with after the passing of a loved one. Each one has a finality about it.

The immediate shock of the loss, followed by crying. Then we must notify those who need to know. We grieve with those who care to grieve with us...the days are numb to our feelings. We make arrangements and prepare for the funeral and place the loved one in their final resting place....and so it goes....and so it has to go..

The dread of HAVING to go through each step accompanied by the need to heal. Through this process we deliver ourselves inch by inch back into the reality that we are still here and they are not. Life IS for the living after all though the passing of a loved one can challenge the will to do so.

The placing of a headstone has the bitter taste of finality to me. I hate to see the last step in this ritual though it is beautiful and fitting. Just such a damned shame to have to do it. I wish you all peace my friends.  Never has it meant so much as now.
 

One of my earliest memories was when Judy would come home from High School. She’d find me and tickle me till I couldn't stand it. That was fun till the one day when I had a little too much juice that afternoon.

Taylor has a little standup activity set with a purple toy phone. Whenever he picks it up and starts using it, we ask "Taylor, who are you talking to?" He always replies "Gramma".

Mom was always coaxing us to try hard and do better. True to form she got tiny baby Olivia to grasp a toy for the first time.