ForeverMissed
Large image
Judy’s spirit slipped free from its earthly tethers on November 21, 2020 at her daughter Kelsi’s home in Pasadena, after three years of thumbing her nose at pancreatic cancer. She wore her F*ck Cancer t-shirt till the end, and stayed with us long enough to see her orange nemesis voted out of the White House. She is survived by her daughters Kelsi Roehr and Keegan Roehr, her son-in-laws Jonathan White and Elad Marish, her six grandchildren, Eden, Miette, Lila, Leland, Lev and Juniper, her brother Tom Hamon, her sister-in-law Pat Hamon, and the father of her children, Bill Roehr.

For more about Judy's inimitable approach to life, click the "LIFE" tab above. And we'd love to have you leave a story or memory as well! You can do so on the "STORIES" tab. 

In lieu of flowers, please help us honor her memory by eating a batch of gooey walnut-laced brownies straight out of the pan (she swears by her own mama's recipe, below). Or, if you insist on parting with money instead of dietary scruples, then consider a donation to help orphaned elephants at the Sheldrick Wildlife Trust https://www.sheldrickwildlifetrust.org/ , or to Idaho PBS, https://www.idahoptv.org/ , two causes dear to her heart.

Many thanks to Beacon Cancer Center and Dr. Bartell's wonderful oncology team for the warm and competent care they provided, and especially to her incredible friends and neighbors (Sherrill, North 11th Street squad, looking at you) who went above and beyond to help her stay contentedly independent in her own home for as long as possible. You are amazing. Thank you.

Eleanor Hamon's Brownies as dictated by Judy
4 squares bakers unsweetened chocolate
1 cup sugar
1 cup shortening
4 eggs
1 cup flour
2 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 teaspoon salt
Lots of walnuts!

Melt the chocolate in the shortening and then add the sugar and whip it until the sugar dissolves a bit and then let the whole batch cool off a bit. And then you beat four eggs all together -- whip 'em, whip 'em, whip 'em, whip 'em -- and then you add them to the chocolate mixture. And then you have to put some flour in there sometime, huh? A cup of flour. I think the recipe calls for a teaspoon of vanilla. Oh, and then a whole bunch of walnuts coarsely chopped, and then you pour it out into a greased eight by eight glass dish (although sometimes I double the recipe and use an eight by sixteen glass dish). I already told you to add a massive amount of coarsely chopped walnuts, right? And then you bake it at 350 I think for half an hour or so until a toothpick comes out relatively clean. It will be gooey though because that's the nature of those brownies they're nice and moist. 

February 23
February 23
Thinking of you today dear Judy on your birthday!
I saw signs all day from you.... a bright red XOXO
sign on a house as I ran an errand in town, a heart
shape cloud in the sky and birds flying directly over
my van while driving on the freeway.... each time I
was thinking of you! This evening Dave and I watched
a Celebrity Antique Road Trip show that featured a store
called Karma Antiques... it put a smile on my face as
I thought of you Judy. Happy Birthday! XOXO, Susan
November 21, 2023
November 21, 2023
Thinking of my dear friend today. The fog has lifted and clouds parted revealing your spirit through the sun.
November 21, 2023
November 21, 2023
Thinking of Judy today. Think I'll bake brownies.
February 24, 2023
February 24, 2023
Happy Birthday Judy! You are in my thoughts
and prayers on your special day. Sending you
many hugs and kisses my dear friend.

February 23, 2023
February 23, 2023
Anyone who knew Judy loved her. She was always kind and considerate of others. She was the iridescent bubble to have in your live. Always positive. I think of her often. 
February 23, 2023
February 23, 2023
Once again on your Special Day the clouds parted and your spirit prevailed with blue sky and sunshine. Happy Birthday my dear friend!!! 
February 23, 2022
February 23, 2022
What a beautiful friend dear Judy. Miss you and your bright smile and spirit. Think of you often and will miss you always.
February 23, 2022
February 23, 2022
Thinking of you, sweet Judy, on your birthday! I sure do miss you. I think of you often and wish you were still here.
February 23, 2022
February 23, 2022
Happy Birthday  My beautiful friend. I think of you often and all our fun adventures together in N. Idaho. Starting when John and I found you lost at Silver Mt. We hit it off perfectly having the same bright orange skis and continued racing like we were twenty years old again.
    Its 9 months today since we lost our beautiful Charismatic daughter, Larissa to cancer. Harvard flew their flag at half mass in her memory I rather have her back and I think many of her patients and colleagues would as well in oncology. My “being” is shaken. I believe having talked to her about Harvard studies it was stress caused. Studies now believe several are. Its impossible for me to think of my beautiful lovely daughter leaving those two boys behind at 4 nd 7. She always said she belonged at Harvard and worked hard saving others lives but could not save her own. A lot of money was raised last summer in her name to help women in OBGYN.  I believe the problems were not work related but not walking away from her husband. I know what you would say! 
    Love you forever my bubbleee friend.   Susan 
February 23, 2022
February 23, 2022
Remembering you, my friend, on this your special day!! 
It is a brisk 6 degrees outside but the sun is shining reminding me of your bright sunny outlook on life. Your spirit carries on!!!!
November 22, 2021
November 22, 2021
Thinking of you today cousin as I crawl into my Llama pajamas (our matching sleepshirts). I am staring at the Llamanoes you sent and the Llama statue-ettes. Everytime I see something Llama, I want to get it for you. Miss you Llots and wishing you a Llots of Llove in heavenLlly peace.
November 21, 2021
November 21, 2021
When the sun broke through the clouds this morning, I was reminded that one year ago today your wonderful sunny spirit began spreading warmth from your universe. Miss you my friend.
November 21, 2021
November 21, 2021
Thinking of you today, Grandma, and lighting some candles and enjoying the outdoors (and singing extra loud in the shower). We love you and miss you. ❤️❤️❤️ Xoxo
February 23, 2021
February 23, 2021
I met Judy more than a dozen years ago and we always had so much fun together. She always sent me the most wonderful and funny birthday cards. This week I kept thinking about her and knew that it was time for her birthday. I will always remember this special day for her. It will be spring soon and we would walk over Tubbs hill In Coeur d'Alene observing and talking about the many species of wildflowers. On her birthday we often went to lunch. She was such a generous smiling and happy woman, always positive even when she faced the adversity of her illness. She knew a lot of music and loved belting out one of her favorites. love you friend Susan
February 23, 2021
February 23, 2021
Thinking of you on your special day.
Happy Birthday my dear friend!!
Miss you.
Love, Sherrill
February 23, 2021
February 23, 2021
Happy Birthday Gramma, the sun is shining extraordinarily bright & strong today, a gentle breeze is leading each leaf in a glorious dance, the birds are rejoicing and singing playfully, marking what feels like our first true day of spring after a cruel winter. I still think of you with each passing day, and I can say with great confidence, I’m far from the only one! Listen in tonight, we’ll serenade you with a loud and proud rendition of Happy Birthday, in true Judith DuBois style. Sending sloppy kisses and huge squishy hugs out into the universe for you. All my love,
-Your Lilabug
December 18, 2020
December 18, 2020
I am sad – Judy passed much too early. There should have been many more laughs together, many more shared hopes for our kids and our world, many more Christmas cards. Only she would want us to keep up the laughter, the hoping and the Christmas card writing. In these and so many other ways, Judy will be with us this season and for the rest of our lives.

Although this is obvious, for the record, I owe Judy and Bill for welcoming me to the Roehr family in 1994. I was young and stupid, of course, but the Judy, Bill, Kelsi and Keegan put up with me and my wonder about all things Californian and American. I could not have landed in a better place. Judy’s love was manifest in the everyday – the jokes on the drive to the high school, the chicken casseroles, her patient and persistent gardening – and the grand adventures. She was willing to drive all over the Sierras to hike, to ski and to camp, and wow, did we have fun. Can I just say that I first encountered Smores with the chocolates, crackers and marshmallows that Judy got for us??

Like all kids, I didn’t realize the magnitude of parenting until I became a parent myself. And I became a parent in California, after coming back in 2003. (For some time, I continued to life a blissful life in Berkeley, thinking that all of the US was more or less on the political spectrum that ranges from Grass Valley to the Bay Area). And for the now (incredibly) 25 years since we met by pure chance, Judy continued to the best possible American Mom I could have had imagined. As I am negotiating parenthood with role models on two continents and in two cultures, I am always hoping to bring joy, laughter to everyday like Judy did and head out to the next adventure like Judy did. My kids ow Smores to Judy, and they know it.

Judy, you will be missed, by all of us, and thank you for being my American Mom.
December 12, 2020
December 12, 2020
Though it’s been so many years - more than 25 - since I spent any time with my friend Kelsi, I still remember fondly sleepovers at her house. I loved carefree Kelsi and the family home that gave her freedom to be who she was. Judy was a big part of that. A loving and devoted mama who was always available for a friendly chat when I ran into her at Bear River. My true condolences for your immense loss.
December 9, 2020
December 9, 2020
Grandma Judy:

Thank you for loving us so fiercely, and for never letting us forget it. I've kept dozens of Christmas and Valentine's Day and birthday and graduation cards from you, all in a box under my bed, filled with your loopy handwriting, loving words, and XOXOs in brilliant shades of the rainbow. You made us feel so, so loved.

Thank you for bringing so much color into our lives. In so many ways, it still feels like you are here! I can picture so clearly your laugh, your smiling eyes: the essence of a life lived with a boundless sense of joy and an indefatigable sense of humor. You are effervescent. And that cannot be diluted by time, space, or any other cosmic force. To me, you will always be a little bit here, with us, humming as you load the dishwasher or muttering profanities under your breath at your newfangled iPhone. And a little bit everywhere else, too.

I do miss your warm hugs and your (wet, slobbery!) kisses. If I close my eyes, I can still feel them.

I think of you when I see an especially spectacular sunset, in shades of pink and orange and purple and blue; when I scrape a spoonful of cookie dough out of the bowl to munch on while scooping the rest onto the pan; when I hear Mama cheerfully and absent-mindedly singing Christmas carols to herself (much to her chagrin, I'm sure!) as she folds the laundry.

Thank you for your beautiful presence. Thank you for the way you loved the world and the many, many beings who inhabit it. Thank you for the effortless way you brought FUN into our lives. You taught me to that life is too short to not eat brownie batter out of the bowl; that there is no shame (and, as a matter of fact, lots of joy) to be found in singing loud for all to hear; that women can do just about any darn thing a man can, with spunk and pizazz (and if the history books ever forget, we ought to take out our pens and remind them!).

You taught me that while we might not be able to control our circumstances, we can control how we react to them. I will forever be in awe of your sunny disposition; your proclivity to see the glass half-full; your ability to crack a joke and bring light to even the darkest of hours.

Thank you for teaching me to celebrate life.

This is not a goodbye, but more of a "hello!" and a see you soon. We love you so, so much, Grandma. And thank you for loving us back with your whole entire heart. XOXOs, forever.

-Your Eden
December 4, 2020
December 4, 2020
Judy, my friend in sunshine and in shadow. We met at age 12. We stayed in contact through all of life's different stages from then on.

My favorite memories are of our skiing trips with various family and friends. Judy always pushed the limits of our abilities. It was exhilarating! Three of my four skiing injuries came from following Judy down the hill.

She was an intrepid traveler. Everyone who travelled with Judy knows how frugal yet generous she was. She loved visiting thrift stores and left a large accumulation of stuff. Keegan and Kelsi will have lots of surprises when they sort through it.

She will be missed by many.
December 4, 2020
December 4, 2020
I met Judy when I was 15, she was my counselor at Bear River. I was going through some rough times, and Judy was always there to listen without judgement. We have kept in touch ever since, 30+ years. Through the highs and lows, I knew I could count on Judy to be there, even though many miles were between us. She was a beautiful lady, both inside and out. I will miss her yearly birthday greetings and Christmas cards. I have many wonderful memories that I will keep close to my heart always.
December 3, 2020
December 3, 2020
I met Judy at Unity Church of North Idaho in Coeurd’Alene. It was shortly after she moved here. I thought she was just as cute as she could be with her freckles and bright smile. She had a sparkling personality to match. She joined a book club I was was in and we all loved her. We didn’t see each other constantly but always came back together and took up right where we left off. She made friendship so comfortable. Accepting me just how I am. I loved her dearly and will miss her always. I never got to meet her family but heard all about them and how proud she was of all them. How blessed we all are to have her in our life.
December 2, 2020
December 2, 2020
I grew up in the shadow of my tinkering, twiddling, larger-than-life Judith Dubois (her stage name, undoubtably familiar to the mailpeople, as this moniker was always scrawled across the countless envelopes I shipped off to CDA).
Oh how lucky I am!!!- to deeply know my ardent grandmother, to have developed countless quirks of hers, which I wear proudly as medallions.
I couldn't be prouder to come from such a strong-willed, imaginative, nurturing woman, full of such infectious joy and wonder.
I can remember back to Kindergarten, crafting a paper doll inspired by her, an "opera-singing cowgirl" in her very own style.
It astounds me that even in my early childhood, I felt as strongly as I do now, that we have always been twittering the same tune, the same frequency. Whether it was whining and wailing old cowboy songs, sharing glances of ineffable exhilaration and freedom on the backs of horses, or haphazardly starting sewing projects that never quite seemed to get finished, I am so lucky to have been able to have Judy Roehr as a core role model, an endless well of inspiration and encouragement. She was truly the unconditionally compassionate guardian angel, the strong guiding light that every young woman needs. She taught me to speak my mind, to assert my power, to remember that all life is precious and worth caring for.
Grandma Judy, I love you more than space, time, and silly mortality could dare try to penetrate. I have known and loved you in many lives before this one, and I am positive that our paths will cross a million times more.
The biggest, wettest, sloppiest smooches,
I love you a whole bunch and a half bunch just because you're you,
xoxoxo's
-Your Lilabug Roehr


December 1, 2020
December 1, 2020
My family and I were blessed to be neighbors with Judy in
Coeurd'Alene. Whether she was working in her yard, leaving
her house for an errand, playing fetch with her dogs, or sort-
ing paperwork in her living room, Judy always had time for a
chat or visit. Her warm smile and welcome, quick wit and great
sense of humor would bring smiles and laughter to our days!
Judy's grateful heart could be seen, by her cheery thank you
notes or phone calls. She was generous with her compliments
of my baking, and made me feel like I was a blue ribbon baker!
She would often reciprocate with her own baked goods (made
with the help of Mrs. Costco ). I'm thankful for her friendship
and will miss her dearly! Our neighborhood won't be the same
without Judy.
December 1, 2020
December 1, 2020
So many good memories of my Aunt Judy. She really did have a radiant smile, an infectious positivity, and a show tune for every occasion. On my wedding day, she helped make the flower arrangements and told me that I was a natural beauty. Every walk we went on, she would pick up garbage (usually while singing). So much love for Aunt Judy and her whole family. 
December 1, 2020
December 1, 2020
I first met Judy when she came to Northern Idaho on Silver Mountain where she was lost. She needed help. I knew we could get along as we both had bright orange ski's . My husband and I invited her to ski with us that day . Over the years we had so much fun together and at times we both felt like we were 20 years old again racing up and down Silver Mountain.  I got her involved with volunteering at the theater and with the book club I belonged to. She joined a second book club and she was such a busy social gal she dropped my group as she felt several had their noses up a bit too high.  I signed her up for the theatre productions and we often went to the Eagles for a glass of wine after a work evening.  I truly love Judy as she had such a Bubbly positive attitude about life I will miss her
November 30, 2020
November 30, 2020
I didn't have the pleasure of meeting your mom, but my mom (Sherrill) spoke of her often and about her great outlook and what a really nice, genuine person she was.  You wrote a wonderful tribute to her and I loved viewing the slideshow. What a great smile and zest for life. I'm so sorry for your loss.   May your wonderful memories comfort you and bring you peace. 
November 30, 2020
November 30, 2020
Judy was my neighbor, I was doing some “cookie cutter” landscaping and she came over to ask me to do some weeding in her yard for her. I laid the know what to say...anyone who has looked at her yard knows what I mean! She walked me around telling me what she wanted and two hours later I walked out of her garden into my own yard and had to stop and look back at the wonderland of nature she had. She was an amazing woman and I will miss her so much.
November 30, 2020
November 30, 2020
I met Judy at my mothers “Sherrill “ house, they were friends in CDA Idaho. I thought what and awesome lady. She was a very nice person and will be greatly missed.

Leave a Tribute

Light a Candle
Lay a Flower
Leave a Note
 
Recent Tributes
February 23
February 23
Thinking of you today dear Judy on your birthday!
I saw signs all day from you.... a bright red XOXO
sign on a house as I ran an errand in town, a heart
shape cloud in the sky and birds flying directly over
my van while driving on the freeway.... each time I
was thinking of you! This evening Dave and I watched
a Celebrity Antique Road Trip show that featured a store
called Karma Antiques... it put a smile on my face as
I thought of you Judy. Happy Birthday! XOXO, Susan
November 21, 2023
November 21, 2023
Thinking of my dear friend today. The fog has lifted and clouds parted revealing your spirit through the sun.
Her Life
November 24, 2020

Born in Fullerton, California, when Orange County was still full of orange groves, her family moved from El Modena to a rural home in Redding when she was in the in seventh grade. There she embarked on a her lifelong penchant for outdoor adventures, which included terrifying her mother by trapping black widows, and riding through the chaparral on her beloved horse Susie. She joined 4-H, and could be counted on to sing the club's pep song at the drop of a hat even half a century later. She followed her big brother Tommy to Chico State for college, where she met her future husband, Bill Roehr. A keen sense of adventure inspired her and Bill to quit their jobs after the arrival of their first child and take a yearlong sojourn throughout the contiguous United States in a Terry Travel Trailer, thereby getting a forty-year jump on the whole #vanlife and #digitalnomad hipsters. 

Her generous and compassionate heart led to her to help others: first in social work, and later as a high school guidance counselor. In between those career bookends, she dived into varied pursuits: her work in architectural drafting culminated in the design of a passive solar home that the family built and lived in in Lake of the Pines. Later she opened cookie shop in Rocklin where her daughters enjoyed helping themselves to the inventory -- ahem, that is -- leant a helping hand. Her irreverent sense of humor helped her deal with misadventures in life and on the job, like the time back in her social work days that she and her friend Diane were chased through their office by an escaped baboon. Apparently the baboon hurled exactly what you're thinking from the tops of the cubicle dividers at the terrified staff. 

Like Mark Twain, she fervently believed that "travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness." Her open-hearted desire to learn from, and live in, other cultures led her to serve as a liaison for foreign exchange students at the high school where she worked (Bear River), providing nurturing support for teens who might be a little homesick or feel isolated during their time abroad. She encouraged both of her daughters to study overseas during high school, and it was through her hosting a student that our family got our "third sister" from Switzerland, Su, a connection that lasted long past the exchange year. After retirement Judy traveled whenever possible, often independently. She visited the U.K., Europe, China, and Central America. It was always her goal to become fluent in Spanish, and she was determined until the end to practice it whenever the opportunity presented itself (although this may have been a pretext to go to Mexican restaurants more often, we can't say for sure).

She was adventurous, undaunted and independent. After retirement she relocated from northern California to north Idaho. She moved for the beautiful scenery and found a new adventure fighting the good fight of a tree-hugging secular humanitarian in the community. This move reflected her indefatigable optimism, a quality that helped her face pancreatic cancer treatment with humor and and an upbeat attitude after an initial diagnosis in 2017. In her fifteen years in Coeur d'Alene, she volunteered at Habitat for Humanity, at the library, the local chapters of the Democratic party and the Sierra Club, and at the local community college theater. She also used that time to turn her beloved home from a cookie-cutter suburban house into a shrine to whimsy painted in an irreverent shade of purple. A carefree wildland gradually replaced the front lawn, and her garden became home to an entire ecosystem of wind chimes, kinetic sculpture, and follies. 

She loved thunderstorms, tap dancing, and puttering in the garden. She adored the flavor of garlic so much she would have worn it as a perfume if they made it. She loved to laugh, frequently at her own jokes, and had a song for every occasion, often from a musical (Julie Andrews and Rogers & Hammerstein features were favorites). She would sometimes describe herself as a “Pollyanna” with her unfailing effervescent optimism, but it is just as true to say she resembled Pippi Longstocking, the unconventional and imaginative heroine who lived alone and did exactly as she pleased. Judy, like Pippi, never let objective reality displace a good story or a novel way of seeing the world.  Also like Pippi, Judy was a great “thing finder.” She never tossed anything that might be useful, so if you’re in need of any cookbooks from the 70’s, cobalt blue glassware (she insists it be kept together as a collection!), or a fifty-year-old electric can opener that still works, please BYO U-Haul to Idaho sometime next spring. This is purely to prevent her daughters, as she sheepishly told them she feared, from “killing her a second time after she’s dead” when they are left to sort through her vast collection of treasures.
Recent stories

Happy Birthday!

February 23, 2021
by Pat Roy
Thinking of Judy and hoping that wherever she is, she is having a good time celebrating her birthday.

Thank you Judy, for the laughter and the adventures!

December 18, 2020
I am sad – Judy passed much too early. There should have been many more laughs together, many more shared hopes for our kids and our world, many more Christmas cards. Only she would want us to keep up the laughter, the hoping and the Christmas card writing. In these and so many other ways, Judy will be with us this season and for the rest of our lives.

Although this is obvious, for the record, I owe Judy and Bill for welcoming me to the Roehr family in 1994. I was young and stupid, of course, but Judy, Bill, Kelsi and Keegan put up with me and my wonder about all things Californian and American. I could not have landed in a better place. Judy’s love was manifest in the everyday – the jokes on the drive to the high school, the chicken casseroles, her patient and persistent gardening – and the grand adventures. She was willing to drive all over the Sierras to hike, to ski and to camp, and wow, did we have fun. Can I just say that I first encountered Smores with the chocolates, crackers and marshmallows that Judy got for us?? 

Like all kids, I didn’t realize the magnitude of parenting until I became a parent myself. And I became a parent in California, after coming back in 2003. (For some time, I continued to live a blissful life in Berkeley, thinking that all of the US was more or less on the political spectrum that ranges from Grass Valley to the Bay Area). And for the now (incredibly) 25 years since we met by pure chance, Judy continued to the best possible American Mom I could have had imagined. As I am negotiating parenthood with role models on two continents and in two cultures, I am always hoping to bring joy, laughter to everyday like Judy did and head out to the next adventure like Judy did. My kids owe Smores to Judy, and they know it. 

Judy, you will be missed, by all of us, and thank you for being my American Mom.

Great Memories

December 14, 2020
I would like to thank Judy for raising such amazing, bright, socially aware daughters.
My daughter Amy spent many nights at the Roehr residence enjoying their grnerous hospitality. Our daughters remain friends today.
It is hard to say good bye to your Mother.
I wish you all well and hope that your memories and all the wonderful life lessons your Mom taught you, carry you through these more difficult days. 
Love to all of you,
Sally Patrick

Invite others to Judy's website:

Invite by email

Post to your timeline