Yesterday, I remembered you by taking goofy pictures with Sid and your reading glasses. I think you'd have liked this photo especially because of the surprised look on Sid's face. I love you and miss you, Mom!

Mom, today we held a dedication and memorial for you. We dedicated your bench and tree, which were donated by your friends, colleagues, and family. You would love the spot. It is just on the river side of the Italian Fountain, which is outside the west entrance of the Art Museum, and next to the Water Works. Lots of your friends from work came, but this picture is of Becky and me with Casey. We made sure he knew how special he was to us, because of how special he was to you. I miss you and I love you and though you have departed this life, I feel your presence very strongly, and it makes me happy to know that through this tree you live on, and through this bench you continue to help others. I really don't know how to say goodbye to you, so I won't. I will just say I love you. 

Today we held a dedication and memorial for Judy, my mother. We dedicated a bench and a tree that were donated by friends, colleagues and family, to Fairmount Park Commission and placed near the Philadelphia Water Works, outside the west entrance to the Philadelphia Museum of Art. This photo is of my partner Will and me standing beside the tree. Hanging from the tree is a collection of paper hearts on which were written lots of things that people remembered about her. Perhaps the most common sentiments had to do with her helpfulness to others and her sense of humor and optimism. People also remembered her style: the funky reading glasses, the unique food choices. (We had peanut butter on hot dogs back at Aunt Susan's, and everybody loved them!)

Many people took photos, and I'm sure soon there will be more uploaded here.  

This tree was planted in memory of my mom on June 4. It will soon have a bench to accompany it. The tree is a Black Gum, and it was planted by the Fairmount Park Conservancy. The tree and bench were donated by the generosity of her co-workers, friends and family. The tree is located in a stretch of park between the Waterworks and the west entrance of the Philadelphia Museum of Art, and the bench will join it soon.

The bench will have a plaque on it that reads:

               IN MEMORY OF
                 JUDY WOOD
                   1945-2012
 MUCH LOVED AND DEARLY MISSED
          THE SONG IS ENDED,
   BUT THE MELODY LINGERS ON.

The last two lines are from the title of an Irving Berlin song, and Nat King Cole made an especially beautiful recording of it. It's a short song. Here are the lyrics:

My thoughts go back to a heavenly dance
A moment of bliss we spent
Our hearts were filled with a song of romance
As into the night we went
And sang to our hearts' content

The song is ended
But the melody lingers on
You and the song are gone
But the melody lingers on

The night was splendid
And the melody seemed to say "summer will pass away"
Take your happiness while you may"
There 'neath the light of the moon
We sang a love song that ended too soon

The moon descended
And I found with the break of dawn
You and the song had gone
But the melody lingers on


Particularly important to this effort was her friend and colleague Donna Adamoli, and it is her picture of the tree that is attached here. Donna coordinated all the donations, and worked with Lori Hayes, at Fairmount Park Conservancy, to make this happen. Thank you to everyone who played a part, and especially to Donna. 

I miss her every day, and today I miss her even more. We spent most of our mothers days apart, but this is just so different. And we rarely made a big fuss out of the day, but still today feels so significant. I can barely believe she is gone.

Here is my mother in early 1973, helping me hold Becky, who was born in February of that year. This was us, together at the beginning, 40 years ago. 

Aunt Susan sent me a scarf she knitted, and included in the card was the following note:

This is one of the scarves that I made while your mom was in the hospital. She wanted you to have this one.

Thank you for the birthday wish. I got it, even though you were already gone. You will always be with me.

 

Judy was a great friend. i was going through a lot of emotional turbulence and of all the people in the world, i could talk to Judy and she helped me calm down and recover my equilibrium. Before she went into the hospital we had more fun together and bonded together more than i ever had with another person. i have a lot of respect for her stoicism during her stay in the hospital. i rarely heard her complain and she accepted the unpleasant aspects of being in the hospital with the same equanimity she accepted the less bothersome aspects of being in the hospital. I'm going to get a picture of her and put it in a frame. She's the only person I've ever done that with. It's impossible to express how much i miss her.

Will, my partner of 12 years, took me to Gloucester, MA for a short getaway after mom died. He and I had spent much of the past 8 months apart while I spent my time with mom, and this was an opportunity for us to reconnect but also to remember her together. On Monday, 11/26, before we headed home to NYC, we went out onto the rocks on the southern edge of Loblolly Cove, just opposite the lights at Thatcher's Island, and I built a cairn for mom. It faces the Atlantic Ocean, the lights, and the rising sun. If you are in Gloucester and have a chance to walk out onto those rocks, I hope you will feel a bit of her spirit there. 

This picture is another example of the adventurous and fun spirit of Judy.  Here she is with a Bonita we caught off the beach at Gulf Shores in Alabama.  This was the first fishing outing of the trip.  We had just put the boat in the water and didn't have much of a plan on where to go.  Other spots didn't produce any fish, so we went around the tip of Ft. Morgan, into the ocean.  We spotted some birds diving on some baitfish and that means there's predator fish down below.  So we drove the boat around, chasing these schools of surfacing fish and casting lures at them when they showed themselves.  
  

I wish I knew exactly when this was, but this is my mom cuddled with her nephews, my sister's two boys, but in the house of her sister, my Aunt Susan. Behnd them is a photo that is mostly obscured but includes my cousin Chris (Sue's third child) and a photo that has some glare but is, I believe, of my cousin Barb (Sue's first child). What a sweet mixing of generations and branches of the family. 

This is my mother holding Marshall, her first grandchild. Marshall is 10 now, so this must have been Christmas of 2002.

My mother loved Simon and Garfunkel, and when Casey gave her a speaker that connected wirelessly to any iPad, I played her lots of music. On the day that she died we listened mostly to some choral music from the 1500s (Thomas Tallis) and to some Simon and Garfunkel. As she died, the song that was playing was Paul Simon's "American Tune." I uploaded the song and you can find it under "Gallery > Audio", and I wanted to share the lyrics here. There is a way in which they are very fitting for my mom.

Many's, the time I'v been mistaken
And many times confused
Yes, and often felt forsaken
And certainly misused
But I'm all right, I'm all right
I'm just weary to my bones
Still, you don't expect to be
Bright and bon vivant
So far away from home, so far away from home

And I don't know a soul who's not been battered
I don't have a friend who feels at ease
I don't know a dream that's not been shattered
or driven to its knees
But it's all right, it's all right
We've lived so well so long
Still, when I think of the road
we're traveling on
I wonder what went wrong
I can't help it, I wonder what went wrong

And I dreamed I was dying
And I dreamed that my soul rose unexpectedly
And looking back down at me
Smiled reassunngly
And I dreamed I was flying
And high up above my eyes could clearly see
The Statue of Liberty
Sailing away to sea
And I dreamed I was flying

We come on the ship they call the Mayflower
We come on the ship that sailed the moon
We come in the age's most uncertain hour
and sing an American tune
But it's all right, it's all right
You can't be forever blessed
Still, tomorrow's going to be another working day
And I'm trying to get some rest
That's all I'm trying to get some rest 

Mom's close friend at work took this picture, but the words are from Dr. Strauss, who was the director of the Center for Research and Reproduction on Women's Health for my mom's first several years there:

I was profoundly saddened by the news that your mother had passed away. The last time I saw her, probably two years ago, she was in good spirits and looked well, so the e-mail from Donna about her death came as a shock. I am horribly upset that I did not know the gravity of her illness, since I would have wanted to spoke with her. I am sure that you know that I so enjoyed the many years at Penn working with her. Her sense of humor and insight eased the day-to-day administrative tasks I faced. She had an amazing ability to read people and anticipate their needs and issues. Always being polite, and above all professional, she was the first point of contact for the Center. Whether it was a beginning graduate student, a foreign post-doctoral fellow who had just arrived in the U.S., a nervous faculty applicant, or distinguished visiting professor, Judy made them all feel special. The foreign investigators and trainees truly appreciated that, and almost all showed that appreciation with a gift to her. Judy also had a sense of fairness; and she was never shy about expressing her opinion, which I greatly admired and respected. I have to admit that she spoiled me. Even from a distance, she smoothed my transition from Penn to VCU by making sure I was being taken care of by my new team. What class.

Taken on October 29, 2012 at Barb and Mark's beautiful wedding. Judy was an important member of our family at it was important to have her in this family picture.

At Kyla's birthday party in October of 2008, Judy tried to "pin the ladybug on the flower". I think she missed , but she looks stylish doing it !

After Easter dinner in 2008, we headed down to the local basketball court for a quick game. Judy doesn't exactly have the appropriate sports attire on because she was dressed up for the holiday.

On mother's day in May, 2011, we ladies celebrated a dinner at the Melting Pot and had a fun fondue meal together.

After Thanksgiving dinner in 2009, we "ladies" gathered for a group photo of our new Christmas aprons made my Ann's sister Donna and our Thanksgiving "Turkey" decorations made by Lydia and Kyla.

This was after two cycles of chemo, when she got a chance to do some acute rehab to regain some strength. The folks at Good Shepherd really got her going. Her sister Sue is with her in the photo. What a good day!

This picture was taken at a little coffee shop across the street from Good Shepherd Long Term Acute Care unit, where mom spent her last month. She loved her mocha!

Judy in the hospital on her 67th birthday. I think she looks beautiful!

I chose this picture because although you can't see Judy well, I love the expressions on my sons' faces as they talk to Judy. I don't know what was said, but it must have been amusing and it shows how much they cared for and loved their
aunt.  This was taken at Donna's art show.

My mother was determined to fight her cancer to the end, and at the end of six cycles of chemo she was determined to keep fighting to regain some strength and independence. During that process she endured a great number of difficult days, but never did she lose her sense of humor. One example, and I'm sure you all have others:

My partner, Will, brought her a t-shirt from a bakery named Cops and Donuts. She was delighted with it, and wanted to wear it right away. Later in the day when she was out of bed I asked if I could take her picture in it. She asked me to hand her the grabber that she got from the occupational therapist. I did. She immediately held it up like a rifle and took aim. Classic Judy Wood. 

Judy is holding the gift she received from cousin Patty. It was a Vera Bradley bag, which Judy loved.

At Easter, we have a tradition of an Easter egg cracking contest. The person whose egg cracks is eliminated and the contest goes on to the crowning of the champion. Sisters compete in this picture as the amused crowd looks on. I think that Judy's egg was the one that cracked-by the grimace on her face!

This picture demands an explanation. At one of our crazy "Ermer" parties we were playing the game "In it to win it". The challenge for Judy was to get the oreo cookie from her eye area into her mouth without touching the cookie. I don't think she did it, but it makes for an interesting picture. How many people have a picture of themselves with an oreo cookie on their eye?