An Amazing Friend
Yesterday, May 29th, 2014, was my day to celebrate Julia Tarter. Julia was one of my dearest friends. We spent nearly every day of high school together, attended church together, and she encouraged me to come to the college she fell in love with. She was an amazing friend.
When Julia passed away last Fall, my heart was broken. I wasn’t broken for her sake, or the idea that she was no longer alive in the physical sense anymore. No- I had no doubt in my mind what happened to her soul.
I was broken for the people who loved her, who walked with her daily, and who held her close. I was broken for her peers, mentors, and the ones that looked up to her in ministry. I was broken for her sorority sisters, her high school friends, and her young life group. I was especially broken for her siblings and her parents. I was broken for the tons of people who never had the privilege and honor to meet Julia.
But I was not broken for Julia.
Julia lived a life more full than most people can hope to live over 80 years time. She grasped what it meant to be a great person, and she lived in a way worthy of her title: “Christian,” which means “little Christ.” Her heart was full of love for any and every person she came into contact with. Even when you were on the receiving end of her sass, or her fire, it was because she loved you. There was never any question of that fact.
Whoever was in front of Julia. That’s who Julia cared about.
Any new person who was trying to act in our high school drama department- Julia made them feel welcome.
Any homeless person who she spoke to during ministry-Julia made them feel loved and heard.
Any fool on the dance floor- Julia made sure they weren’t alone.
Anyone unsure of their faith, anyone with doubts, anyone who felt far from God- Julia showed them deep affection and grace.
There is no doubt in my mind that Julia is currently before the creator of the universe, basking in His glory, with peace and satisfaction written in bold print across her face.
And that’s all she ever wanted for anyone she knew.
Celebration
I’ve seen so many posts since August, several that have brought me to tears, of what people have been doing to celebrate Julia’s life. While I mourn the loss of such an amazing person, Julia’s passing has inspired everyone to be more loving, passionate, and intentional than ever before. It has showed us, all to realistically, how short life is.
We don’t have time to waste. Yet we have plenty of time to sacrifice.
For my day to celebrate Julia, my mom and I spent the day together.
I didn’t post anything on social media, other than a picture of penguins with the caption “Smile and wave boys. Smile and wave.”
I wanted that day to be dedicated to a person who, if I died tomorrow, would mourn my loss with unspeakable sorrow. I wanted to focus on someone who, if they died tomorrow, I would be devastated to lose.
We went to the Varsity, the Coca-Cola museum, and the Georgia Aquarium. To give every detail of the day would take far too long, and, to be honest, the details don’t necessarily matter. What does matter is that we love each other, and we spent time together that we are never getting back, nor would we want to.
The thing about intentionally loving people, Julia understood this, is that any time you are being intentional, you are sacrificing something. To give someone money is to sacrifice financially. To give someone praise is to sacrifice your own pride and spotlight. To give someone a meaningful conversation, or a day downtown, is to sacrifice time.
What we are saying as people when we act out in love is “I love you more than my…”
Human beings have a remarkable tendency to be selfish. Yet, we have an even more astounding power to look our tendencies in the face and say “Not this time.”
So my tendency when I’m home is to do my own thing. I might want to chill in my room, record some music, or scroll through BuzzFeed articles. Yet, I love my mom far more than I love my room, my computer, or my musical equipment. Beyond that, I love her more than my comfort, entertainment, or my success!
So for my day to celebrate the life of a person who had love pouring out of every square inch of her being, I decided to love intentionally. We both sacrificed a day to be with each other.
It was not a magical day burned forever into fabric of human history. It was not a heavy day filled with sweat and tears. It was light-hearted. It was fun. It was a memory.
Moments like that, days like that, are underrated. We ignore them like desperate texts from an ex. However, I believe those moments are the ones we will look back at 10 years down the road and say “Remember the time…”
All of this celebration is about honoring Julia, it’s about appreciation, and it’s about urging one another toward reaching our full potential as people. Now it’s my turn. Find someone you care about. Spend a day with them. Take them to downtown Atlanta, the park, or out to eat. It really doesn’t matter. But turn off your phone. Have a conversation. Let them know you love them, and that you appreciate the fact that they are alive and in your life.
Celebrate Julia.
Celebrate each other.
Make a memory.
