It's exactly 6months today that my friend of 26 years, wife of 21 years, was laid to rest.

I still lack the words to explain my emotions. I knew the meaning of friendship with her. Love became a sacred word. Loyalty was redefined.

Hand in hand we had walked down the lonely path of childlessness for 10 years. Some so called friends jeered at us as if they had control of determining who gets a child and who doesn't. She thought me to ignore all such side distractions and to focus on the only Being that had the final say -- God! And He did have the final say and in the positive too!

And when it was just time to start the real round of honeymoon and marital bliss, she was struck down with an acute form of Rheumatoid Arthritis. A disease that left her with Pulmonary Fibrosis, an irreversible and progressive deterioration of her lungs. She was told it was terminal!

And that was when the strength in her became fully manifest. She did not panic, she took it in good stride. Whilst asking and believing God for a miracle healing, she still reached out and started preparing the children for life without her. She clung on to life for my sake and for the sake of the children.

The healing didn't come and she came to terms with that fact. Then it was as if she asked death to wait, even in her weak state. She appeared to put it on pause! She dared it! She stared at it in the face without fear. She knelt in prayer and attained heights of gigantic proportion, made peace with God and man and when she crossed over into the Year of Mercy she quietly took her leave having held on for almost 4years. She passed on in my arms.

She was attached to an oxygen machine 24/7 for almost 3 years. After the initial period of being self conscious about it, she squared her shoulders and bore it with poise and grace. Even when she couldn't go out much, she was the one impacting positively on those that came near. She silently offered her pains "as a sweet smelling sacrifice to God, who had allowed her to her on this journey".

She was a rare breed. She was strong. She was graceful and dignified in her sickness. She was a Lioness. She was a Princess. She was my Princess. She was my Iyoo. She was my friend. She was my lover. She was my wife. And I am a much better person for it. Whatever I am today, is largely thanks to Juliet Chinagorom Okorie-Agwu.

And I pray from the depth of me that her Soul and the Souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God rest in peace.

Nanna, my heart bleeds reading your touching story. I share your pain and comfort in your story of courage and strength?

 Larry my husband who loved me beyond words can ever express passed exactly ten years yesterday. What keeps me and the boys going is the fact that Larry loved us so much and that keeps us going.

I know the love you both shared for each other will keep you and the kids going?

Larry unfortunately died of a heart attack which is nothing compared to what you and your dear wife went through. That period of struggle was a special time to spend bonding? I know one of my boys always wished,  Daddy would have been sick for us to nurse him instead of him dying so quick and not knowing if he wanted someone to hold his hands, but his twin brother is always telling him he would not have wanted Daddy to go through any of that. To me I would have loved to share that moment and time with him but it happened so quick and we never had the chance to say good bye. Who are we to tell God when and how it should happen? The same God has kept us and still keeps us going until now that my dear son Aleje, has again gone to be with the Lord.

I have asked questions and close to forgetting my faith, as "in all things, give praise and thanks". In moments like this is when our faith is tested and tried and life does not make any sense. Am a living example of one's faith been tasted and one day, someday, God will make sense to me and my boys as to why. I want God to teach me to accept things without blame. " God weeps wth us so that we may one day laugh with him" Jurgen Moltmann. By asking questions, it brings us to asking " where is God when it hurst?"

I have my family and friends support and share the pain and sufferings of those who have passed through similar experiences and we draw strength from each other and I know you will because God is alive and stand to tell you this.

We talk about Larry everyday, when I say we, the boys and I find consolation talking about Larry because he had so much love and shared it with his family. They will never be another Larry in our lives but we are happy he loved us. His love keeps us going. We miss him everyday. 

I am going to leave you with the fact that though, they have gone, they are still with us and I know your beloved wife, Chinagorom, is with you, looking above from heaven and smiling saying, you are a fantastic husband and father and could not have picked a better  man other than Nanna. I share that with her. Larry says it too because, my boys tell me how fantastic a mother I am and have been. Your kids would say same.  God will look after them beyond your expectations and favour will be their name.

Remain blest my brother.

Helen Adoga (Ntol's sister and Imaji's cousin)