Usually, I know what to write or say, but this time, it is difficult! I remember years ago when I met Pat, and I thought; 'Wow, she has an amazing face.' I walked up to her and introduced myself. Then, I met Kelly. We all became friends. I admired both of them.

I also remember the last time I saw them at a party. I said to Kelly same thing I said to him each time I see Pat; 'Do you know how gorgeous your wife is? Do you constantly stare in her angelic face?' And then, he would crack my ribs with his many responses. He had the heart of a child. And that was priceless!

In the last many months, I worked on different articles for Kelly/Global Pride Magazine, and we talked about my book launch. He needed me as one of his Columnists. He was coaching me until he started not to feel too good. I was looking forward to being his 'right-hand man.'

A few weeks ago, Kelly had called me and said he was back in the hospital. My spirit went down, but I remembered that God was aware too. I wore a smile like a shawl and encouraged him. His spirit was down, but he managed to make me laugh. I told him something silly that my 5 year old son had done that morning. And, when I heard him laugh, my heart was glad too. It became a ritual for me to call him every morning. I had chats with Pat too. We all understood that God was in the mix, so we trusted Him. I admired Pat's faith, strength, and love.

Then one morning, and some mornings after, I would call, and no one answered. I continued calling and leaving voice messages, but no calls were returned. I panicked. I continued praying, and being hopeful instead of being afraid of the unknown.

Finally, someone answered the phone, and it was neither Kelly nor Pat. My heart was broken. My spirit was wailing. I was not expecting death to visit my friend, Kelly, any time soon. I cried like someone who had just lost a friend. I lost my friend. I did not ask God why. I clearly understood that since He was aware of Kelly, then he must be needed where He wants him to be. Then, my heart went to Pat and the boys. And it was broken even more!!!

Even in the midst of a storm, Kelly had this peaceful aura around him. I admired his determination to get things done, his vision to think outside the box. Most of all, I admired the strength and faith he had in him even till the end. Kelly believed that everyone counts. I loved that spirit in him.

Now, I can only imagine how you see heaven. I can only imagine you are now one of our gurdian angels. I am glad that I met you.

We must celebrate every season for a reason. This season Kelly, we celebrate your life. Je nke oma! Go well...until we meet again!

~ Nkem DenChukwu

FOR KELLY

The most difficult question in the world to answer is only 3 letters long: “Why?”  Why does someone we love so much, who brings so many good things into the world, who has helped so many people, and who has so many more years to live suddenly leave us?

          It is a question that haunts us.  It remains a mystery without an answer. And if you are not used to living with a mystery, it can be uncomfortable, it can make us sad or angry or frustrated or depressed. But there is a unique power in any mystery if you can embrace it and allow it into your life.  If you can live with the unending question “Why?”, you can then see it as a gift, a gift that never leaves you and serves as a perpetual reminder of Kelly, a way for you to always remember him.  

          And in remembering Kelly, we may find sadness and loss but we also have the opportunity to find joy: the joy of remembering some of the special things he brought into our lifes collectively and individually & into the world, the people he helped, the way he cared for us, his laughter, the way his passion for life changed us and made us more alive.

          If we connect often enough to the energy, the joy, the aliveness of Kelly, each of us can create a living memorial to him by simply doing something (a word, a thought, an action) that reminds us of him. Do that and you’ll find yourself saying “That was just like Kelly” or “Kelly would have loved this.” And in that moment, when just a small piece of the goodness that Kelly brought into the world lives again through you, you may find that a smile appears on your face, as hard as that might be to believe right now, and you’ll remember that Kelly’s life was really about the spiritual connectedness we all share and not the limitations of this material world. 

Will your Kelly smiles be mixed with tears from time to time? Yes, but that’s a small price to pay to keep Kelly alive in the world. Our tears simply mean that our connection to him is real, alive, and has the power to move us into the world and change it.

          So in the weeks and months and years to come, don’t reject the question “Why?” when it haunts you.  Remind yourself that it is just Kelly coming to visit you, invite him in, sit down, talk, and share a moment with him. And then try to bring some small piece of Kelly’s goodness back into the world.  Do that, and you’ve turned the troubling question “Why?” into an unending gift, a blessing. I hope that each of us can soon say “I did something today that reminded me of Kelly. Kelly would have loved this. Thank you, Kelly.”

Written by Dumebi Okwudi.