Kevin Anton Schutte, (1974 - 2007) - ForeverMissed.com Online Memorials

Let the memory of Kevin be with us forever

33 years old
Born on March 5, 1974
Passed away on March 20, 2007

This memorial website was created in memory of our loved one, Kevin Schutte, 33 years old, born on March 5, 1974, and passed away on March 20, 2007. We will remember him forever.

Tributes

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March 20, 2022

Its 15 years Kev I cant believe its been that long. I sure hope you can hear me talking to you everyday. I still wish that last day i kissed and hugged you goodbye when you went out that i called you to tell you how much i loved u uncondtionally. I tried to get u when you drove out of the drive way to tell you but you left. I thought i had the next morning to tell you. I tell you everyday now. U will be remembered everyday as long as i breathe. Love you mom and dad.

March 5, 2022

Kevin today would be your 48th birthday. In 15 days it will be 15 years youve been gone from us. And Jennifer has left us too. I miss her alot. She loved you . I hope you two see each other. Shes a good person. She wrote on here alot and never let anyone forget you. You alreadyknow how I feel. I couldnt love you anymore than I do now. My love will always and forever be with you no matter where you are. I love finding the signs that you are around now and then. We love the puppy you and God sent to us 12 years ago . Then we found out you have a puppy named Buddy too. I know you arranged that too. You knew the condition dad was in back then. Buddy helped him. I just want you to know I will always have your back. No matter what happened to you was about the choice you made not who you were or are today. You are a good person and anyone who really knows you or who counts in all our lives knows that to be true. You never talked about anyone, you respected others. I will respect you for how you felt about others and being who everyone wanted to be around. Jennifer always said you would walk in a room and the room lite up and everyone wanted to be around you. Me too. Just want you to know you are loved and nothing will ever change that. Your family love you. Dad and i always will no matter what. I know when you left this earth you didnt feel loved. But i didnt know that then. When i told you unconditional love I meant every word. Still do nothing can ever change that. Nothing. I love you Kev and Happy Heavenly birthday.. love mom.

April 5, 2021

Just thinking of you alot the last few days and looking at lots of pictures. Doing alot of crying and wishing i knew then what i know now. I know God works things his way. Just knowing you are ok now in Gods hands is all i can ask for. Jennifer im sure is somewhere near you. Its what she wanted. The music thats playing i told Jennifer was one of your favorites. She did this for you before she died. What a beautiful person Kev you were so right about her. I love you and miss you so much Kev. Ill write again soon. Mom

March 20, 2021

Today Kevin was 14 years of missing you and our hearts hurting with so much love since youve been gone from us. I can tell you ive seen the signs from you letting me know you are there. I had a hard time last night knowing 14 years ago that night was the last time i saw you. Kissed you. Huged you. By morning you were gone. Just know how much you are loved and will be missed all the days of my life. I love you more than life its self. Love your mom Sharleen.. you will see there is one person that never missed writing to you, Jennifer Gibbs. Since she died Dec. 29th of 2020. Will write to you again soon.love mom

March 6, 2021

Today i am writing to tell you how much dad and i miss you. Its been 14 years on the 20th youll be gone. It wont be the same without Jennifer on here too. Cause i liked reading how much she loved you too. I didnt do anything special cause all i did was think of you and all this love i have for you.i wish i knew for sure you were getting all my love. I got the big X in the sky from you today. I hope no one takes down your memorial cause ive had it on here awhile. Jennifer put your music and other extra things she wanted on here which she paid for but with her passing isnt being done. And i dont know how or what she did to do it. Ill write again soon. Remember how much i love you. Sometimes the pain takes my breath away. But i wont have it any other way cause i wouldnt miss the dance. Love you your mom, Sharleen.

December 31, 2020

Hi Kevin just wanted you to know your 2nd mom died Dec. 29, 2020. Her family isnt doing well as you know. But i figure you already know all this. I sure hope she will see you. Its all she talked about. Hopping you would be there to guide her there. Im keeping this short so i can find out how she put your pictures, music and videos on your sight. She sure loved you alot but you knew that. You would be glad to know we became really good friends. I love you to the moon and back Kev. Love Mom.

April 16, 2020

A thistle to remind you of the time you brought one for me in a bouquet of flowers, because we watched Braveheart and I cried! I'm placing your Japanese song here today, remembering when you sang it to me completely in Japanese! Also some other songs you liked, or that you've recently reacted to, that you obviously want placed and added to your playlist, I'm doing that! I hope you are pleased with all I'm doing to add what mattered to you in life into your memorial website! I pray you can hear your music, that I play every day, in heaven! I know it must be a wonderful place, with you there to enjoy so many people you admired! Chester Bennington, Kurt Cobain, Jim Morrison, Jimmy Hendrix, Layne Staley, and John Lennon! All there to bask in your aura, the glow you had here I'm sure burns brighter still! I miss you, but you've been here, manipulating my YouTube all day! So I do feel you here, very strongly today! Thank you for getting me through the tough times! You were always there for me in life, so it's not strange that youd CONTINUE to do that from heaven! Sending you hugs, kisses, cookies, my unconditional love ALWAYS! Along with my broken heart, and your music playing as loud as possible! Your 2nd Mom Jennifer

April 14, 2020

Dearest Kevin, I miss you so much and I'm writing here because you're playing music on my YouTube! You still CONTINUE on, in spirit! I shouldn't be amazed, because you were so strong in life! But occasionally it strikes me hard, like it did just now! I'm finally learning how to play your music here, and be able to write to you at the same time! I hope you're pleased with all I've done to help your Mom add to this beautiful website! You know all I've gone through, especially since Jason isn't here to help me! But hell be home soon enough! Then with your help things will get better! I love you, as always! Your music playing as loud as I can get away with! Leaving you hugs, kisses, cookies, and a thistle! Your 2nd Mom Jennifer

April 8, 2020

Kevin I know that you know I've stayed up all night adding to your beautiful memorial website! I know because you were here the whole time! I'm far from done, I've got more music and photos to add! And I'll add the cartoon you liked as well, as soon as I figure out how to add videos! I hope that this shows the world how important, mesmerizing, and special you were! I'm hoping to hear something from you! You touched so many lives in your short life! It would mean so much to me, and to your Mom, if I could get certain people to write their feelings here to you! But I believe you understand why it hasn't happened! And you know that SHE is finally gone, I pray for good! She actually tried to justify her lack of actions when I saw her last! She gave me her version of that night, but I told her I'd never believe her! In my heart I know differently! She made my stomach turn when she said " but I loved him"!!! If that had been true she wouldn't have left you alone for so long! You know what I mean, and so does your Mom! I love and miss you Kevin! I will always! Its been a tough night and day, I cried all the way through it! But it's my honor to be the keeper of your music, so I was happy to add it! You must have chosen me for some reason, and I thank you for giving me that trust! Leaving you a thistle, my hugs, kisses, cookies, my broken heart, and my tears! As always, your music playing! I know you hear it! My 2nd son, my friend, and my trusted confidante! Your 2nd Mom, Jennifer

April 8, 2020

Tonight I'm learning how to add your music to your beautiful memorial website! It would have been easier if Jason was here to help me! Now I'm trying to figure out what other songs I agreed on with your Mom! But I placed "Brothers In Arms " already! So now anytime anyone visits here, they can look at your photos, and listen to your songs! I hope that you're pleased with this, it was a big accomplishment for me! I PROMISE I'll add more songs! I missed you so much tonight that I thought it made sense to devote my time to doing it! You reacted to the live version of this earlier, but I placed the video you always cried over! I know that you've been here with me most of tonight! I honestly love you Kevin, I always will! Life just doesn't have any real purpose anymore! I look forward to seeing you again, when its finally my time! I have no doubts that you'll be there, waiting with open arms! It will be the most joy I've fealt since you left us! Leaving you a thistle, my hugs, my love, cookies, and your music playing as loudly as I can get away with! Your 2nd Mom Jennifer

March 28, 2020

I know how much everyone loves you. They tell me and show me over the years. I miss you more than I could ever put into words. My love is always forever. I remember all the things we did and said as you were growing up. They are such great memories. I see your pictures all the time. Dad and I always celebrate your birthday on march 5. Then when march 20 comes I cry a lot. But I know how you must feel being with our family and your friends that have passed where you are in heaven. I'm sure you know Jason B. Is there now too. So must has happened since I talked to you on here , but I've shared it all with you everyday when I talk to you. Just remember how much you are loved but so many. Jennifer gave you a gift to you for the post I set up for you. You will know have music and more pictures for everyone to see just as soon as I find out how to do it. I love you as much as anyone came on earth.❤ ❤ ❤ I will see you when its my time to go be with you again. Love you Mom Sharleen.

March 5, 2020

Happy heavenly birthday Kevin! I miss you more every day that passes! You are always in my heart! I'll never be the same again, you left a permanent hole or gap in this world that nothing can fill! You stay close, helping me get through this difficult time! Its amazing what a strong person you were in life you now are as a strong spirit! You made such a difference in your short life! I'm leaving you a thistle, your music playing, cookies, and my broken heart! I love you! Your 2nd Mom, Jennifer Gibbs

March 5, 2020

Happy Birthday uncle Kevin ❤️ We love and miss you dearly. Party it up in heaven for us

March 20, 2019

12 years has gone and passed since you left us here on earth Kev. Some days it feels like yesterday and I cant breath. And sometimes it feels like its been along time ago. Nothing has been right since youve been gone. A piece of my heart has a piece missing and cant be fixed till we see each other again. I know in my heart you are with God. And helping others who has gone thru what you did. Dad and I think of you every day. Our love is always with you. It grows more with every day we are apart. I am here for you whatever you want from me. I will love you forever and always. Your mom Sharleen.

March 5, 2019

To my son Kevin...today you would have been 45 if you were here with us. We love you so much. You will always be loved and missed by so many of us. You are always on our minds but today when dad and I woke up we both said happy birthday Kev. I had a friend come by my work just to see if i was ok. I know you sent her.you always do. You mean more to me than my life.

August 28, 2018

I love you, and miss you so much! I just wanted to let you know that I know you're here! I am so grateful, for all you do to make sure I'm not feeling alone! The candle lights the way, so you can always be here with me! Not that you need it, as you come here so regularly now! I feel you close beside me, you warm me by closing your arms around me and by making the room so cold when you enter! Then you give me chills up my back, into my neck! I clearly know you, but it's awesome to feel you here, even as I'm writing this! I pray that you are at peace, that you know God! It must be so awesome up in heaven now with all the people you admired there with you! Chester Bennington, Kurt Cobain, Jim Morrison, and Jimi Hendrix! All of them, there to share in your glow! All of them, to be outshined by your incredible aura! It's amazing, to think about! I wish I could see it! But ill be there, soon enough! Please make sure I'm with you! All my love, your music playing, kisses, hugs, and cookies! Your 2nd Mom, Jennifer

August 28, 2018

A thistle Kevin, because I know you are here! You gave me the courage to open a memorial tribute page to my Mom, and to Jason Long! It was difficult, and you know how much I cried! But if your Mom hadn't begun this beautiful tribute page to you, and you hadn't guided me to it 2 years ago, I wouldn't know about it! So again, you get the credit for all of it! I love you, and I miss you! I could feel you here earlier, the room gets cold and I can feel you give me chills up my back to my neck! I've come to recognize your presence, and it comforts me so much when you are here! I'm thankful for your help and your love! But I don't understand why Jason can't feel you, but I can? I wouldn't trade my time with you, please don't
misunderstand me! But you were his best friend of 15 years! Surely if he was open to you, you'd go to him! Or is it because of her being around? I can't stand the sight of her, and you know how hard it is to keep myself quiet when I must! I'm trusting you to tell me, and I know you will in a way that is only from you! Please let it be soon, because I know that something is coming, and it's not something good! I Know that you confirmed it for me, and I warned Jason, but I don't think he listens to me, certainly not about things that I know from you! I guess your Mom is the only one who believes I've heard your voice! But I know what I know to be true, and your spirit lives on! I'm so thankful for your Mom, and your help, especially when I need you the most! I guess that's why you're here, because you know I need your help more than any of my family does! I love you Kevin! Your music is playing, as usual, and I'm sending you hugs and kisses, and cookies! Love

August 15, 2018

March 22, 2018

Dearest Kevin, I'm really scared about tomorrow! But you told me that I'm not alone! I trust you, I believe that you'll be with me when I'm the most scared! I need a sign, I don't know where to go! I'm quite literally gonna have a major surgery and not knowing where ill be living! Just please let me feel your presence, let me know that you're there beside me, in some way that can only be you! I love you Kevin! I tell you a million times a day! If this is my time to come home, please be there to help me cross over! Please help me with the pain! A thistle, in remembrance of the one you brought me! Ill be waiting, for a sign from you, or for your hand to help me if I hesitate! Certainly God knows I've gone through all I can take, and this would be the easiest way to go! So help me, make God hear my heart like you do! My tears for you, hugs and kisses, cookies, and your music when I can play it! It's all up to you now, and I trust that! Your 2nd Mom, Jennifer P.S. Please help Jason through this, it's gonna be very hard for him!

March 20, 2018

I wish a candle could have lit your way that fateful night 11 years ago! A darkness we didn't understand came and stole you from us, leaving us devastated, dissalusioned, and completely broken beyond repair! It feels like it was 11 days, or even 11 minutes, since having to face the worst nightmare of my life! No amount of time, or tears, or debths of despair, even touches the excruciating anguish that the word " PAIN" is supposed to represent! I miss you more, never less, as though the passing of time only multiplies the emotional turmoil and emptiness left by your passing! I'm never alone, as you promised, but I feel like I'm lost! I do get the signs you send, I do feel you here with me so often! Thank you for reaching out to Jason, it made a difference only I saw! Thank you for loving me, and making sure I'm sure! You know what I'm facing, but I know you'll be there to see me through it safely! Ill wait for something unusual to appear, as a sign from you! I love you Kevin! All the hugs I wish I'd have given so long ago, what words I should have said my heart is now speaking to your soul! My love always, hugs, kisses, cookies, and your music playing as you'd want! This is the anniversary of the night you returned to God's loving presence, and that of your family in heaven, and so many people that you admired! For us down here, it's been 11 long, sad years because we miss seeing your brightness shine! There it's been a few brief seconds, as they bask in that glorious brightness of you! All my love always, your 2nd Mom, Jennifer Gibbs

March 20, 2018

11 years has passed since I was told the worst news in my life. Your son Kevin Schutte is dead. I can't believe it's been that long. Sometimes it feels like yesterday. I talk to you every night and day and pray for you too. My love for you will never die it only gets stronger. I miss you more than any words could ever say. I will look for a sign from you today as you always send me one. Love always mom.

March 5, 2018

Happy birthday Kevin. Can't believe you are 44 today here on earth but in heaven you will always be 33. We miss you so much . No one could ever take your place. Our love for you grows every day. I asked for a sign today but you k ow what i got. I had dinner with our friend Sheila and Tom. When she came I. She had white roses for me. She said she k we she was suppose to bring the. Thank you Keg I hope you read the card I pi ked out for u this year.Just remember how much you are loved. Love always and forever mom Sbarleen.

March 5, 2018

Happy birthday in heaven Kevin! Today, like everyday, is hard to face without you! But now that Chester Bennington is there with you, I'm sure you'll be having an interesting day! So many people you admired are with you, like Jim Morrison, and Kurt Cobain! Though the glow you had here is gone, I'm sure it shines brightly there for all your loved ones to see! I've played your music all day, and cried! There are so many things I should have done differently! For that ill never forgive myself! But you know my heart! And you know how much I love you! Today I got a small ice cream cake, to mark what would be your 44th birthday! I got it "Gotham" cause you seem to like that! I'm leaving you this thistle, remembering the one you gave me! Please bring love and comfort to Jason, and your parents today, it's needed! Ill never find the right words to express my loneliness for you! But I'm celebrating your birthday the way I always try to! You were such a blessing, to your family, and mine! I'd give anything at all just to see you again! Until then, you have my hugs, kisses, cookies, and along with my tears, you have my forever love! Can you hear your music playing? Everything, anything, for you only! All my love, ALWAYS, your 2nd Mom, Jennifer

January 30, 2018

Leaving a thistle for you, because you're here in this room so much! The time you brought flowers so id have a thistle burns in my memory! You know how much I miss you! And you are always here spiritually, to comfort me when it's most difficult! I love you Kevin, for everything you showed us in your short life,and for all you've shown me of your spiritual connection! Idk how you manage to manipulate my YouTube, but you do! Today I posted"Heaven was needing a Hero", because that's what you are! All the hurt and sad tears remain, and I try so hard to not hold your spirit back by my loneliness for you! Because of you, I've gained the friendship of your Mom who has opened my mind to the connection I've now got with you! I know that was all your doing, but it means so much to me! She's my extension of you! Kevin if I could go back in time, to those last 3 days, and especially that last evening I saw you, and to all the deep talks we shared then, I'd hug you, and I'd never let you go! I'll forever feel I could have or should have said or done something different to change the outcome of that nightmare! I know that you are aware of my heart in this, and I'm still waiting on an answer from you about the direction I must go! I'll wait on a sign, from you and God! You know why I ave reservation in this matter! And I've tried, for Jason's sake, to let it be! But the horror of it all never escapes me for a single day! You've been his best friend for so long! I keep hoping somehow you'll reach him, and change things! I fear where all this is leading, and I know that fear isn't from God! I love you, like you're my 2nd son, and I know I'll see you again! Your music playing, hugs, kisses, cookies, and my tears streaming down my face! Please stay here! It hurts when I don't know you're here! All my love always, your 2nd Mom, Jennifer

January 7, 2018

Dearest Kevin, you know why I haven't written here in so long! I miss you so much! I play whatever you choose on my YouTube, I play your music from your playlist! I cry almost every day! I feel you here, I believe you that I'm not alone! But the loss of you never ends, the hurt never let's up! I've learned to connect with you from your Mom, but I know that's your doing! She's become an important part of my life! Thank you for your help with this! I know it's you doing that too! I see you in my life, but I keep asking you to help your best friend! Yes Jason is in trouble, like you told me! And you know why! Idk how to fix this, and only you can tell me! I'll wait for a sign! If you can feel my heart, know that it breaks from missing you so deeply! Kevin I'm so sorry, I just didn't know how deeply sad you were! I would give anything to have you back in my doorway just for one minute, I'd hold you and never let you out of the door! I should have known, you told me everything! I'm so sorry! I love you like you're my own son! I'm not trying to take from your Mom, she's a wonderful person! She loves you so much! But I love you very much, and I'm honored by all that you chose to tell me, share with me, confide in me, and I protect those things! I've told your Mom everything, but she's the only one! I'll never betray your confidence! You chose to tell me, and I carry that! But it's like a double edge sword, because I'm honored to have your deep confidence in me, but I feel I should have acted upon these things! I still have to act upon the problem, you know I must! I'm sorry, this isn't what I wanted to say! I just love you and miss you so much! I Know in my heart that you hear me, I talk to you every day! Hugs, kisses, cookies, your music playing! Always and forever, until I see you again!

December 31, 2017

Hi Kevin, it's mom, 12 years ago tonight was the beginning of everything going crazy for you here in Fl. I think of you everyday . I can't tell you how many times in a day too many to mention. But you already know this. I wish I could be with you just one more time and any amount of time that God would allow. That's my wish for us. I have so much to share with you. I know you already know it all but i want to tell you. I'm so glad you know how much Dad and I love you and all your family. I think by now you should know there is nothing you could ever do or think or say that would ever change our love for you. All is forgiving. Every single thing no matter how large or small it may be. By now with all this love around you, you should be able to forgive and love yourself again. All I want for you to to be happy and to love again and know how much you are love. I will love you forever and always. Your mom Sjharleen. Ps I guess you know you were wrong about your dad he love you and always has more than anything in this world.

July 25, 2017

I was thinking about you today as always when i had to tell you this. I know you wasn't perfect but I wouldn't have changed one thing about you. I think of you Kevin as a beautiful painting ...most have flaws that makes them unique, priceless and that is what you are...priceless. you are a very special man. You had a shadow on your heart but a light was in your soul. Just remember how much I love you and always will no matter what. I am so glad to be your mother. Love your mom Sharleen.

June 22, 2017

Kevin i know that you know i havent had a way to write to you for months! But your spirit has been a continued reminder that you're still with me! I know you hear me speak to you! I miss you, every day of my life! You are as strong now as you were in life, and it still amazes me! But the comfort you bring helps me each day! Please stay with me, and guide my decisions! And bless the new baby coming with good health! The candle is just a reminder, that i know you are here! Hugs, kisses, cookies, and your music playing as it should be! How i wish Jason could tune into a connection with you like i have! He needs his best friend! I love you!

March 22, 2017

Dearest Kevin! 3 night's ago' you manipulated my phone at 11:23, making it clear you wanted me to know you were there! But right after I forwarded it to your mom, you made my phone unusable! So what I needed to write was this: 10 years ago (on 3/20) was the worst day of all our lives! The time you slipped away,leaving us all devastated! I want to thank you for every minute you gave to my son as his best friend! And thank you for loving all my family, loving you! I When you left you took our hearts with you! I thank you for all the love you gave to me too! I consider our friendship special,; I want you to know that you are eternally misses Kevin!,

March 19, 2017

Tonight at 10:00 10 years ago was the last time I spook, huged, and kissed my son Kevin before I got the phone call to meet the ploice officer that told me my son passed. The worst day of my life. The pink and white flowers for the church in your honor were beautiful. You left a sigh before we left for church. Lights went off for a minute then on again. The other a man at church i did not know came up to me and said what a beautiful way of honoring your son. All I know is its been 10 years of missing you and everything about you. Your are such a beautiful person Kev. The words I said at church was. Todays Flowers are Dedicated To The Glory of God and Given by Greg and Sharleen , in loving memory of their beloved son, Kevin Anton Schutte, for 10 years you have been missed. Yes this is beautifully said but doesnt come close to what we feel. Tomorrow I will be told that you have passed. That will be the worst day in my life. The 10 years of celebrating is for you Kevin . Hope everyone where you are are celebrating you coming home to all our family. Then one day your dad and I will join you when you bring us over. We love you always and forever Sharleen mom and Greg dad.

March 5, 2017

Dearest Kevin, today is your birthday! Your ice cream cake should be decorated with batman symbols! I love you, and miss you as much as always! I pray today others will write here too! You know how hard ive tried! Thank you for maneuvering that lady in Scotland to send me thistle for you! Though i havent recieved it yet, ill be honored when it arrives! What an incredible sign! I will watch for any sign from you today, and my day will be totally for you! I know what a difference you made in so many lives when you were here, and many are praying for you today! May you have all the love in heaven we who miss you here would give! I know you must be with God! I send you all i can, the usual hugs, kisses, cookies, your music playing! I wish i could do more, but my hands are tied! You must do the influencing, mine isnt enough! I expect to hear from you in some special way today, out of the blue the way you do! Id like to feel you here, maybe today! But i also know how much your mother needs a sign from you today! Please be with her! Kevin i cant begin to imagine how she feels, because ill never get over losing you! But they know you love them, and you know ive tried to tell her your feelings as you spoke them! My comfort comes from knowing youll never suffer again! " Leave Out All The Rest" makes so much sense now! I try to imagine your birthday in heaven, relatives around! Your birth was to let you touch us here for a while, even if we werent ready to let you go! While you were here, you created a warmth and a glow of happiness for us you affected! Celebrating your birthday is to remember how much my life was altered by knowing you! Im waiting, praying, hoping! I know you know why! I love you! No tears today, only love for you! Your 2nd mom, Jennifer

March 5, 2017

Happy birthday Kev its mom again I just left you a birthday message on facebook to let you know how much your loved and missed. At exactally the minute you your born 43 years ago. 8:23 pm. It was on a tuesday. One of the happest days of our lives. Thank you for picking me to be your mom. I am very proud to be the one. Alot has happened but it was to you, not who you are. You are now who you were meant to be. Thank you for the signs you sent me. Love you Mom. Sharleen.

March 5, 2017

A thistle at 8:23 pm, the moment of your birth! My honor to write to you at this moment in time! You made so many moments in time unforgettable for me! I miss you so much, and though i gave today totally to you, i couldnt get what i wanted here! Im sorry! Happy heavenly birthday! It was so nice to see you remembered by others today if not here! Kevin you altered lives! No one can get past the difference you made! You will always be loved and honored! My heart will remain forever broken! Love always, Jennifer

March 4, 2017

Tomorrow evening at 8:23pm you came into this world with so much LOVE my heard was bursting. You were so wanted. You were such a loving child and person. I just want to tell you how much you are still loved no matter where you are,heaven or here. We miss you so much that will never change or get easer. Not a day goes by without a happy thought of you. Or just Dad and I talking about you. Thank you for all the memories you left us. And thank you for picking us as your parents. Happy birthday to my so loved son Kevin. Love your mom Sharleen. I got the signs last month for my birthday thank you. Please remember to give me a sign tomorrow from you for your birthday i will be looking. Hope you will be celebrating with our family over there.

January 23, 2017

Dearest Kevin, thank you for giving me the sign I needed today! You know how bad the day went because of what I learned, but you helped me! I don't know how you do all you do, but I heard you very loud and clear! I listen to you above anyone else in these matters! But today just proved to me again that it's you I feel here, that you do hear me, that you do send me signs now! Thank you! I love you! Please protect both of the guys, tonight and each night! I'll deal with this till Tuesday, and I await your response then too! Please give me the courage, and knowledge, to do what I must! And help me to be the grey rock, until the time comes not to be! Kisses, hugs, cookies, and all the love we've been talking about tonight! You'll never stop amazing me! Jennifer Gibbs

January 20, 2017

Dearest Kevin, just a thistle tonight, to let you know that I know! That fan came from you, even though idk exactly how! I feel your spirit here most of the time, but a lot of that is because I've learned to tune into you! Your eternal flame still burns bright, as when you were with us and you had an aura! I miss you! But I'll see you soon, and I know you'll be there to meet me when I cross over! I so look forward to that! " Brothers In Arms" is playing, cool how it often just pops up on my phone, like you want it to be playing! I still play your music every day! I know you hear it, I feel you here, I can tell when you're here now! Hugs and kisses, cookies, all good things! My arms around you spiritually! Yes, I've felt your arms around me physically! It was awesome, incredible, and more than I expected! You were there with me in the hospital, you kept me cool! Thank you! I love you Kevin! No one, nothing can ever change that! Your 2nd mom, Jennifer

January 16, 2017

Dearest Kevin, forgive me for not writing sooner! You know I was in the hospital! But I didn't want to miss the chance to write to you today! You know who I saw yesterday, how I reacted, were it not for all I've learned from your Mom, I'd have reacted the way you know I wanted to! It wasn't my choice, I'd never betray you! I love you, I miss you every day! I'm trying to reach your Mom, she needs to know what you do! It doesn't ever end for me, just because I was civil doesn't mean nice! My loyalty to you will always come first! But I know you know that! Thank you for that odd gift in the hospital, I recognized immediately it was through you! Kisses, hugs, cookies, your music playing! Special thanks for talking to me when I was so scared! I'll love you for all time and eternity! Your 2nd Mom, Jennifer

January 1, 2017

Hi Kevin it's mom but you know that. I got the signs and gift for Christmas. I'm glad I could help with your advancing. It's all due to you teaching me how to love again. I wouldnt ever hold you back ever. You thought me joy again. I work with people that lost children and vna ones who are passing.you brought me to all of this. Hope I'm doing you proud we love aND miss you so much. I'm on my 3rd journal I know you read every word. Glad you have our family and friends over there to share memories with. It will soon be 10 year for you gone and your birthday too . You would have been 44. Can't believe that. I know you know everything going on hope you'll be at the wedding. You know who. I love you more than life Kevin your mom Sharleen..

December 31, 2016

It's New Year's Eve, and it seems everyone is celebrating! Fireworks outside, and all I can do is light a candle to you! Soon it will be 2017, and though this year was bad, I know 2017 will bring much sadness too, especially in March! Your birthday in March has always been a time for showing our love for you! But this year will be 10 years since you've left us! For me still, it was like yesterday! I miss you Kevin! On a night when it seems everyone is so happy, I'm writing to you and crying! I need to know you're here, although I don't doubt your existence anymore! I can't tell you how much sadness I feel, how lonely and life altering your leaving has left us! May you find your way to whoever needs to feel you there tonight! Jason needs you to smack him up the side of his stubborn head I guess! People say I am deluding myself, to make this easier! Nothing can make it easier! I hope your Mom and family are going to have a good New Year, but it's so hard without you in their life! Hugs, kisses, your music playing, tonight as always! Your 2nd Mom, Jennifer

December 19, 2016

A thistle, like you gave me, to show my deep understanding of things I misunderstood before! Now its become so clear! Everything you were drawn to, the songs on CDs you gave me, videos you mentioned, songs you sang, movies you watched, and certain private and precious confidences you shared with me, were all towards you leaving us! I'd never try to take your mother's place, I'm honored to know you and I have our own bond, unique and special! Had you wanted to share your precious secrets with anyone else, you would have! Thank for giving me that honor! I'll share no more of your secrets, private wishes, unless it comes from you! Looking forward to Xmas with you! And thank you for the comfort you continue to provide for me! Now that I've heard your voice, I'll do as you ask of me now, as I should have then! I'm sorry I ever let you out my door that night! I wish I'd given you more cookies, more kisses, more hugs! I am hugging you now! My son and I carry you constantly in our hearts! You are like my 2nd son, but also my friend! Thank you for the difference you made in so many lives! In your family, and mine, you couldn't be more family to us! We love you! Some cannot face putting their deepest emotions here, where the world can read it! I'm sorry, I've tried! You WILL get your upgrade, ASAP, and the photo you want, because for some reason you made me the keeper of your music! These things that you got peace from in life, will certainly help you have peace now! I will listen to you above any others! Yes Kevin, you're comfortable being just you, not pretending, and you will always have that here! I miss you more than words can say! I will love you ALWAYS! Jennifer

December 17, 2016

A candle, to light your way to this lonely room you lately inhabit! Not that you need a way to guide you here, for lately you are here more than gone! Now I understand why! I know I won't be alone Xmas, I heard you clearly! You'll be here with me! I'll try to make this little room all you'd want, and try t show you the love and happiness my family feels for you! We love you! We miss you! Thank you Kevin, for the comfort you show! You are my precious Angel, beloved like no other! Having a glow of your own, a cable isn't even needed! Honestly, I love you! We're it in my power, you'd be here in physical form now! Hugs, kisses, cookies, your music playing, the movies you seem to like! All for you, today and always! I miss you so much, I can't put it into words! I love you! Your 2nd Mom, Jennifer

November 28, 2016

A true nightmare tonight Kevin! Please intercede with God on behalf of my family, for a miracle desperately needed! Without your help, I'll lose it! I need to know that you hear me! In life you were always there for us, I need you to be there now more than you've ever had to be before! Tears, hugs, love until forever! Your 2nd Mom! Jennifer

November 27, 2016

Missing you Kevin, today, tomorrow and ALWAYS! Sorry some can't write what they feel, as I do! It makes me feel closer to you, more connected! Forgive those who won't listen still! It bothers me more than I can say! But what matters is that I see and hear the signs your mom has taught me! I know you love my family, and I'd love to see their words here! I guess it'll have to do that I write all the time! Hugs, kisses, your music playing, a thistle, a candle today to remind you of your eternal flame, still burning brightly for some to see! They only need open their eyes, their heart, and their minds!

November 24, 2016

It's Thanksgiving day now Kevin, and I'm leaving you a thistle! I want you to know that this Thanksgiving I am very thankful and grateful for your Mom! Her friendship has become precious to me! Because I know that you brought all this about, I need to tell you that she's teaching me so much, especially how to feel you close and see signs from ! This is a very hard day for your parents, so I'm hoping you fill that empty chair at the table for her! They need to feel you there today! I love you, I miss you, every day of my life! I know that you know these things, I just needed to thank you for loving my family, and for loving me! Your 2 and mom, Jennifer

November 20, 2016

Just lighting a candle for you, as I cry! When will I find peace with this? I miss you so much, and just realized in 4 months from today, it will be 10 years since you left! Oh Kevin, in my heart it was 10 days ago! I cannot bear facing this! And yet I know I will honor you, on your birthday, as always! Give me a sign, of what you wish for on your ice cream cake! I love you! If I wrote here every time wanted to, there'd be no room for others! Playing " Leave Out All The Rest" as you told me! Kisses, hugs, too many tears! ALWAYS, Jennifer

November 20, 2016

A thistle for you today! Missing you like crazy! Looking forward to feeling your presence, seeing signs from you! Tomorrow night is Gotham, and you made it so clear to me at every commercial that you are also a Batman fan! The chills, up and down my back, the coldness in my room, the touch on my shoulder, all from you to reassure me that you're here! I had no idea you were a Batman fan, until your mom told me after this! Kevin you were so strong in life, always did things your way! Now you're so strong in spirit! It never amazes me! You have always been incredible, and you continue on in a different plane! It doesn't matter if others don't understand, as long as you and your mom do! You manipulate music, TV, flowers, even in public! If I'd known that last time you were at my house, I'd have hugged you longer! Is there anything I could have said or done? I know you so well! I doubt I could have made you stay, or changed your destination! But the nagging guilt I feel, of WHY, is almost unbearable! Would you please send me the answer I need, so I don't feel this way? Kevin, I need you to know that I know you hear me! I feel you here! You have been my confidant, in life, and now in spirit! And your signs make it so clear that you can communicate from where you are! Does everyone there love you as much as we do here? I'm sure your smile, those eyes, that glow, your aura, have them mesmerized!!!!!! Kisses, hugs, and cookies! I'll ALWAYS love you Kevin! Thank you for the love you showed/ show me! Your 2nd mom, Jennifer

November 18, 2016

May he rest in peace and perpetual light shine on him

November 17, 2016

I need your closeness, your answers through " more than dreams"! I need to feel you here, in your music, your movies, in your comforting soft presence! I'm playing your music, hope you hear it! Things are bad Kevin! I can only talk to you or your mother! Please give me a sign, anything I'll know is you! I miss you so much! I love you , and I will always! Hugs, kisses, cookies, all that you love, your music carrying it to you!

October 20, 2016

A thistle for you Kevin! Please make your presence known to Jason, your best friend! I made a mistake, your painting wasn't what I expected, and he's been in a terrible depression ever since getting it! I believe that you hear me! I'm still so frozen in time! Everyone but Jason and I seem to go on, I'm as hurt as if it was yesterday that you left us! I thank God for the friendship I've now got with your mom! Kevin, not a day goes by, ever, that I don't miss you, some days are harder, and today was one! Sending you my love, always! Playing your music! Hoping you can hear it in heaven! Cookies, kisses, hugs! All these coming to you, now and forever!

September 24, 2016

Missing you tonight so much! Our love for you never ends! You remain alive in all our hearts! Nothing Carver change the bond we all feel Kevin! I'm the one capable of putting it into words here, but all my family loves you, I pray you know that! I'd love to know you hear me! Hugs, kisses, cookies, your music playing! Soon your portrait will get to my son, your best friend, and I know he's gonna cry, the way I do every day for losing you! Love you! Your 2nd mom, Jennifer

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Thinking of you

September 7, 2023

Hey my baby brother, I am thinking of you tonight and just wanted to say how so very much I’m missing you and your smiling face. Life is very difficult and you not being here is making it harder, it’s not fair that you’re not here with us! So if you can ask God to please keep an eye on your family and send us the best wishes. I love you then, now and forever! Your sis Kim

Sadness, because you were right all along

December 17, 2016

Long before you left us, and again those last 3 days, you always said you were so much more comfortable at our house, on our used furniture where you could put your feet up, and be your real self! I'm sorry for all the times you didn't want to go home, especially to the white room at Xmas that you hated so much! And you were also right, my family was more real, more down to earth, less pretensions, than the phony way you had to pretend to be at home! And you were right, my family would never meet up to yours, that's why we had to sneak Shannon to you so often! Had they not opposed your real young love, you'd be my son in law, and you'd never have married Erica, therefore she'd have not broken your heart so! You and Shannon would have lived happily, anywhere, as shed have gone to Alaska if you'd asked, she loved you so! But you family didn't think she was good enough! I'm so sorry, I couldn't see it sooner! It would have changed everything! Now it's too late, and you're gone! I don't find it odd at all that you'd prefer to hang around an old rented room and watch TV with me, that go home and be in the white room you hated so much! I thought with all of shared with your mother, that we'd become real friends, she was teaching me things that helped me learn to tune into you! But my family lives in the real world, we've faced some tragic circumstances, and drama! Your mother can't cope with this! So I only have your guidance to follow now! I tried Kevin, I promise you that I really tried! But as always,, you were right! My family is beneath their standards! And you're so right, I can't be phony! I'm sorry that you ever had to be! I knew the real you, not the pretend one forced to go home! That last night, when you said you didn't want to go home,i thought you'd be back! Now I understand! Had you and Shannon stayed together as you planned, without interference, you'd still be here with us, not just in spirit!I know somehow I let you down, but now I do understand!I honestly love you, and it means everything that you've chosen to spend time with me! I love you very much, I will ALWAYS! Your 2nd Mom, Jennifer

December 14, 2016

Kevin, you are loved and missed by everyone you touched. I am thankful to have had you not only in my life but also as one of my two best friends. You were taken from your family and friends before we were ready ~ but in your time on this earth you lived! I love you, brother and miss you.

Jason

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