On a cold January day in 2003, my life was changed forever. I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl and I named her Kyrstin Elizabeth. She weighed 8lbs 9oz and was 22 inches long. Right from the start she was special. She had a way of interacting with everyone who held her. Her cute little smile and sweet laugh warmed the hearts of those around her. 

Three months later my world was turned upside down. On April 21, 2003, my precious little girl was snatched from my arms and gone forever. S.I.D.S (Sudden Infant Death Syndrom) claimed her life. The pain that followed was unbearable. My arms ached to hold her and my heart longed to hear her laugh once more. The days that followed her death were a blur. I was faced with the cold reality that I would have to plan her funeral. Parents should not out live their children...and yet here I sat in a funeral home picking flowers and a casket for my baby. 

The months that follwed her death was the darkest time in my life. I wrestled with unanswered questions...why my baby? Why me? At times I even struggled with the will to go on. How could I? The child that I carried for nine months and loved beyond measure was gone. However, somehow I was able to see some sort of light at the end of the tunnel. I didn't get better...the pain didn't end, I accepted that she was gone...and this is how I will live my life from now on. I will forever be a breaved mother.

As a grieving parent, your life is defined into two parts: life before your child passed away and the life you now must live after your child passes away. It's hard for me to recall the life I lived before Kyrstin died. The innocence I felt, the things I took for granted. The life I live now is much more real to me...because I know how fragile it is.

Though I have gone on to have more children...a part of my heart will forever be missing. I will always be Kyrstin's mommy...she will always be my daughter. Birthday's, holidays, special events and many other moments will not be complete because there will always be someone missing.

I will always celebrate Kyrstin's life...she may be gone from my arms but not my heart.