I was so sorry to hear of your Husband's passing .I have read all the stories and can see how much He is missed and how loved he was .What a lucky man he was to have you .I hope your days get a little easier .It must of been worst to lose your Mom she was such a Great Lady .She was always so kind to me.Stay strong you have a good family around you .God Bless Linda Almquist

Daddy,

Want to stop bye here and wish you a very happy Birthday! Love and miss you so much, i wish that we could spend this day with you.Mommy moved into a new house, its very cute, i think you would like it. We cant wait to help her decorate it with all your paintings, we all miss you very much, its not getting any easier.

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

Happy Birthday Daddy <3

Daddy,

Havent stopped by here in a while, and got the need to write, i keep dreaming about you lately, its nice too see you. I hope all is well with you, and i know that your missing us,just as much as were missing you. This is not getting any easier, and in just 10 days it will be a whole year since youve been gone. Ill be honest with you, not much has changed, besides Josh fallng and rupturing his spleen, but i am most sure you were there with him aideing in his fast recovery, I got a new car, (not a ford) promise, its a Honda...and Mark and i are purchasing his moms house, so hopefully things are all falling into place. Moms doing good,for the most part,Derek and Cregg too. Creggs seeing a girl for some time now, very nice. Derek found another house to rent, and got a new job with Grant...i think hes liking that, and the paychecks that come with it..natalie is just as gorgeous as ever and growing so fast, she plays haromonica just like her pop-pop and shes got rythm too! Moms getting out and doing a few things here and there dinner with the girls, i know she wishe she was going out with you...Im gratefull for the family that you have left behind,Your sisters have been nothing but supportive.I cant say its easy without you, i wont lie, i wish your stubborn ass would have let us call the doctor, but you knew what you wanted and thats something noone should ever loose...ive been trying to get that tattoo i told you about for some time now...the one with the guitar and flowers, but life just chews yah up and spits you out, so money hasnt been the best, youd think someone would throw us a bone here...politics...well dont ask me idk, you were the one that read the paper..:-D School for me, its going...i dont have much drive anymore, im so dead-set on getting a family together,like you were,Love the babies  (AHEM Mark) that id much rather establish myself that way..but i guess ill just keep on trucking. Well im going to get to sleep now, its late..Love You, XoXoXo
Ps: Wrap those big hands around my shoulders for me just a few more times,and kiss the top of my head with your fuzzy beard, I never thought i could miss something so simple.

LOVE YOU ALWAYS & MISS YOU

XoXoXoXoXo XoXoXoXoXo XoXoXo

It sure doesn't get easier with time. I think it just becomes more of a reality. Its hard not to be angry and I keep trying to think positive thoughts. I am so thankful for what our family had and the wonderful parents we were blessed with. I am so thankful that you had a wonderful family that share so much love. You wouldnt have had it any other way.

I know you are at peace and I pray that your wife will start feeling some peace here on earth. Please send her some strength because one can only handle so much and losing you is too much to start with. Give my love to Mom and Dad and tuck some hugs deep inside until we meet again......

I love you my big brother.....I love you!

well Bruz.......here we are another month has passed.  Easier to miss you .NO!  but I am trying to grasp it and the why's!!!  Guess there is a master plan and I know we will be together again someday!!!!  

You kids amaze me with their spirits!!!  so glad that you taught them the real values!!!  It is so necessary to get through this world!!!   You would be really proud of them.

I saw Buck the other day and we met at his moms yard and gosh I couldn't help but think about all the days spent there and the Fisherman's Fair when you guys had your own art show!!!!

I know that you are with mom and dad and buff and things are good for you!  But damn we miss you.  Vonda is amazing!  I admire her more with each passing occasion!!  I guess that's what happens when one knows real love!!! she misses you, but is so strong!!!  

I can never go into this forum withour crying through the whole thing but I am so glad to have it.  I too am waiting for the place to go to feel close to you.......for now this is it!

Love you and miss you!!

Daddy,

I love and miss you so much i cannot believe that its been 6 months since youve been gone, I cannot stop thinking about you, i see you all over i know your with me, mom derek,cregg and Josh. We Love You and miss you.

*If tears were a stairway id climb right back to heaven to bring you home again.*

Daddy,

This doesnt get easier with time, i cannot believe it's almost been 5 months since you have been gone, It feels like an eternity. I Know that your with me all the time, i feel you with me,because i cannot stop thinking about you. We were at Brooke's house the other night, and one of the songs that you used to listen to was playing,i asked for them to change the song, in fear it would make me Cregg and Derek upset, and of course it did,When the song was off,A big monarch butterfly came around, 12:00 at night, i had seen him floating around the yard all day,he came to visit and perched on the chair right in front of me,Im pretty sure that was you there with us,because i know you always liked a good party.The butterfly stayed on the chair and hung out for a while,he let me get close enough to take a picture. Little things like that, i know you are here.My computer crashed the other day,god damn electronics never work when you need them :-) went and bought a new one. Im doing good in school this semester,and taking next semester off to enjoy the rest of my summer and my cruise in October, Im patiently waiting for someplace where we can go to talk to you,but im not sure if everyone is ready for that, Your birthday is comming up soon in 12 days, and i cant believe Josh is going to be 15 Years old already! I image it will be hard this year for him, having the same birthday as you and all.Im excited for November, I am going to get a tattoo(i know your not big on them) but i think you would like this one, Its a guitar with all the flowers you wrote of in your poem "My alexandra rose" Around it is one of the quotes, you jotted down on a piece of paper not to long before you passed "And the love you make is equal to the love you take" Mommy even liked it dad...You know ill always love you and i know youll always be here with me..Theres a meteor shower sometime in August,plannig on going down to the beach and watch it with Mark, the whole time i know ill be thinknig about the time me,you,mom, and josh went down to Atlantic and watched one, it was so cool,Do me a favor and Let nannie and pop know that i love them,grandpa and grandma Lester too.Things here aren't the same without you.Ill give mom a hug for you,she knows you love her.Give her a sign and let her know. I'll take care of everone dad,no worries. Cant wait to see you again.

Love You,

Always, Your Little Girl

<3 Forever by my side:Always in my heart <3

Congratulations to you and mom on 31 years

What amazing people you  both are,im happy to have the family that i do,im so happy for the values i have been given.People think im nuts with the way i look at life,i know you would understand.I told cregg the other night that life was just like candy land, you roll the dice,depending on what you get you move backwards or forwards...But in the end you win no matter what...Amazing values you and mom have taught me, i hope someday i can pass these values on too your grandchildren, i will make sure they know what an amazing grandfather that they had.

 I know you are watching over us....................ever so quietly as you always were..............I can feel your spirit sometimes in the darkness of the night as I lay awake and you always seem to come to mind.

I think I am supposed to "have it together" by now............and you would think that I would as you always thoughjt me the strong one.  I cannot be strong when I feel that pit in my stomach........the emptiness  that tells me that I lost my big brother...my idol!

sometimes I can't stop the tears  and sometimes I smile with just a thought of you.............but ALWAYS I think of you!   Anmd I love and miss you!

      Long day went to see laura's new baby.Dona ,Dale,Tommy, Michael . Dona's whole family was there.Thinking how lucky she is 5 grandchildren  wow.  I can't see people i haven't seen for awhile without getting upset. Hate being that way.I don't like bringing  everyone down . But i think i managed to keep it together. I wanted to wish you a happy anniversary tuesday but , there was no way i could have kept it together. Hope you thought about us and our 31 years .We were good together. We always fit together like a puzzle.each one completing the other.But i feel like we need a few more pieces to complete the whole picture.Send me a few more i'll complete it for us.LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOU.

   Yesterday wasn't the same without you. Although no day has been the same

lately.I  Remember fathers day 26 yrs. ago.You were hoping Cregg would be born that day  But one hr. after wasn't so bad.

We had a party for Cregg and i Sat. On the deck at Cregg's and Alex's .Mostly family had a great time.Your sisters came and gave me a great gift a braclet with your initials.Going to wear it forever.     It seems to me there is a party every night of the week or i'm doing something.But thats a good thing ,no time to think. I'm not sure what i will do when the winter comes ,not even sure if i'll have a place to live.

What will that be like no you no home if you were here we could make any place home. But i have never been alone and that scares me. This is not the way it was supposed to happen.Mom promised she would take care of things ,I guess we should have left her alone maybe things would have been different.I guess  she forgot to mention to everyone else that they were supposed to wait a few yrs.Now Josh and i are out on our own. 

 Needed to visit here tonight .Not sure if this group thing is the right thing or not,but i come home missing you more..I saw you a few nights ago or i thought it was you.. I wish you would stay i needed  to talk to you.You know me i never dream or i never remember my  dream, so it must have been you for real.Life sure is different.Not sure i like it this way. We were supposed to grow old together .Remember, lots of kids and double on the grandchildren. Tonight someone said they thought it was easier to loose a parent then to loose a spouse .Well we lost both our parents and now you ,so i think that person was right. It doesn't feel the same. Cregg said he wanted to push the rewind button i have to agree with him on that one. It will be 3 months in a couple of days and i am doing things i never did before.Had my first martini with alex the other night  ,buying lottery tickets, going out to dinner,bought myself not one but two bathing suits.The last suit i had was the one you bought me for my birthday a hundred years ago. I was thinking i have spent more years with you than i did with my own parents or our kids.37 yrs. we were together.Now i'm lost. What to do?  We have my birthday ,creggs birthday,our anniversary,Your and Josh's birthday all comming soon.and all without you.How can we do this .Miss you i need a hug. Love you xxx ooo

 few people ever experience the true love felt by Vonda and Butch!! and fewer still got to feel his love!!  How blessed we were!!

Some people see only the sun relected on the water.....

You could feel the warmth.

Some people see the stars frozen against the night sky.....

You coud see their  sparkle.

Some people viewed the beach grass.....

You walked within it.

Some people learn to love....

You lived love.

Some people never understood you...

You never felt the need for their understanding.

Some people need material things to live their life to the fullest....

You lived your life to the fullest by filling others lives with love.

There is no one story to tell there are hundreds some unhappy

some none would believe some with lgreat love some with laughter.But all our stories had one common link they all had unconditional love.Never at any time did i question your love.I wonder how many people in this world have that.

My one regret was to let the last few years of our life to slip by without some special time for us. I love you.

Beans,Spud Bucket,The prettiest girl in Bonacand Boss are the best gifts you have given me WE DID GOOD.....

Okay so i remember the day my father taught me how to ride a bike, i had a white bike with pink and purple designs, and im pretty sure it had those plastic things that made noise when you rode on the spokes. I remember starting off by the driveway multiple times him holding the back of my seat, and me shaking like a leaf,falling down, getting upset, and my father telling me to get back on lub your doing great,So i kept trying, getting vidually upset i couldnt do it, but i kept trying, finally my father said too me, just do it, just get on an pedal, dont stop pedalling, so i got on the bike and pedalled away, and rode farther away than any other time, when i fell i got back on and did it again, and each sequentiall time, i got better and better, and my father, stood there with the biggest smile on his face.

Another memory i have with my father is that, we were all sitting on the portch my mom, my little brother who at the time was about 4, and me. My mom was wearing yellow shorts and her knees were full of mud(she had been gardening, one of her favorite things to do) My father most likely out there playing his guitar,and helping my mother, they loved spending spending days outside. I was drinking a ginger ale, my father a beer. we were sitting right next to each other, i reached for my ginger ale, took a sip, and damn near puked, most digusting thing i ever had in my life, I took a sip of my fathers beer, we laughed, but i do not drink beer now, for thought that it was supposed to be gigner ale, and was not.

My father once built me a bookshelf, with left over wood from a job, a heavy mahogany, he spent about two hours building me this bookshelf, the sound of the saw, him wiggling his hat against his brow to make it sit more comfortably on his head in the hot summer sun.After he got done building it, he painted it with a stain, that we had left over in the shed, from another unknown project. i have that bookshelf today, and it sits in the livingroom of my new rental, that my father, never got too see.

Daddy, i miss you <3

There are no words to explain how surreal this is...how each day it hits....like bricks on my chest.... that you are really with Mom  Dad and Buff.....looking down on us...So happy for you and so sad for us....so lucky we were to have had your love....so much love in your children what a wonderful family ...you left your mark on the world...I am so proud to be a part of the love....to share in your families lives and to keep your love alive.....I am so happy to have been blessed growing up next to you...and I am so sad that we can't dance to Johnny Cash under the tree just one more time...

oh my brother,you were like no other.   Loving caring and so smart.You gave &gave from the HEART.  Creative,patient &witty too,there wasn:t anything you couln:t do.Now your our angel up above,you:ll guide us &watch over us with your LOVE.We will always remember the love you shared,writing songs,poems to show you cared. Yes your our ANGEL now so you can guide us and show us HOW.                                                         love you BRUZ, your sis DIBBLES

Where do I begin to share the story of my big brother ? He was the person who taught me more things in my life than anyone else ................to ride a bike, to run and play; army in the fort; picking apples from the big ol' tree at Gramma's house, to my ABC's and 123's........... then came the teen years and we had the shared friends and the boyfriends and the girlfriends that we'd discuss for hours, the words of wisdom to always respect myself ; telling me which boys were ok and which ones were "assholes" (and he was usually so right) the late night watching basketball on TV and the boxing matches.

He taught me to drive and even let me drive his 69 Chevelle or his 69 Camaro (both his pride and joys)  and we would spend hours with Buck fixing those cars. (i would hold the flashlights) but he would patiently tell me what each part was and what it did.  He would always  share his wonderful songs with me and ask "what'd think , Ness?  And his paintings......."what'd  you see, Ness?"  And he always praised me for knowing the "right " answer.  But I have since learned that whatever answer one had was the right one.  He was the gentlest most loving man. 

I never saw him anywhere , anytime, that he did not give me a kiss hello! He exuded love.  He was,  as my husband always said " the smartest man I have ever met"

He was a tough act to follow, but I could never convince him of that, as much as I would tell him how proud I was of him, or how happy I was to have him as a brother, he would always make me feel like I was the special one.  It was just his way.  

He lived his life the way he wanted to and loved in a capacity known to few.  I don't think he knew the impact he made in his own quiet way.............

the sadness sometimes overcomes me..in the late afternnons as I sit quietly and think, but then I start to remember the wonderful life we shared, and the love that we shared and I can close my eyes and feel him close by and know that I can still talk to him, he hears me and I feel his love.