You know they say it gets easier and I do not agree. It is hard living without you. I heard your mom isn't doing too good. I know I should be going to see her more but it is hard sometimes making time. It feels like nanny all over. I don't want to see it again, it was hard mom. I love you and I know you are with me because I dream about every night and you are always there. It may not make sense to me but it gives me comfort seeing you. I hope one day I get to see nanny and dandy too. It is a good and a bad month. You would have been OMG how you would have hated it lol. I turned 40 in August and Caylee turned 13. I have Natalie that will soon be 21 and Jacob that is knocking on 10's door next month! I wish you were here. I wish Natalie could have seen you when she came back. Damn I know your watching us all but it isn't the same as you being here and me being able to talk to you about it. I love you mom. That is all for now. Shine on ya crazy.

Happy 63rd Birthday mom, I miss your smile and our talks so much. I see you a lot in my dreams….Til we meet again you shine on you crazy diamond! I love you!

Happy 61st birthday mom. I love you!

Happy 60th Birthday mom

Mom it's been a year and one day. My heart hurts, I wish I could just hear your voice

Happy birthday Mom today is so hard I know I can get through this because you told me how to be strong I love you so much I can't wait to see you again

Mom, so much has happened since you left. I miss you so much, sometimes I wonder if I can make it. I have to for my kids. I love you so much!

So many questions I want to ask. When do I cut the wosteria back? How did u make stuffing so good. Mom......not a day goes by!!!!!!!

Mom, I miss you so damn much!