Christmas Without Mother
Christmas without Mother isn't Christmas at all,
The season is but a season when snowflakes fall;
Mother is gone to Heaven's gate of gold
And I am left here to grow old.
Christmas without Mother isn't real for me
Though I always knew life is never free;
Mother was the anchor that kept me secure
When I lost everything, she was here.
The snowflakes fall, covering the earth
In mockery of memories of my birth;
Our Father called Mother back home,
Leaving me to face life's hell alone.
I thought I had lost all I could stand
When all our loved ones drifted away like sand;
But I still had her to hold on to
Through all the hell we went through.
But now she's gone, the light I saw by
When the darkness left me to die;
So God called her and not me
Leaving me without sight to see.
Now I am empty without her faith in me
To keep me seeking a way to be free;
Standing by my window, watching snowflakes fall,
Christmas without Mother isn't Christmas at all.
By Bobbie Sue Boise
2002
I wanted to post this poem for you this Christmas. I can't really believe I hadn't already since I wrote it just weeks after losing you. It was a Christmas that only God's comfort and that of my children could get me through. It truly wasn't Christmas without you and it never is. I know you would tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself. But this year was a white Christmas and Travis was not here. I know he wanted to be and I wish he could have been; but there are reasons outside of ourselves that it couldn't be. We have a pandemic and people are dying in large numbers and it is best to quarantine as much as possible. I don't want any of my children to make another one sick since they are none healthy anyway. I don't want to make anyone at all sick, and I'm having a very difficult time just surviving. Still, it was a good Christmas. Tyler and Chasity were here with me and I talked to Travis (just not in person). We did not do gifts as we usually do. I gave each of the three enough to get a present with, not much, but better than nothing and we bought a couple of chairs we found on sale for out real present. We really needed them since the couch broke down and we had nowhere to sit. I think you would have been proud of us all. So I wanted you to know that it was a lovely Christmas and I thank God for it. No one could have asked for more. And I even felt your presence, all of you. Love is what makes it special. I love you, Mother. If it is God's will, I pray to do so throughout the New year. I may not be able to see your beautiful face except in pictures; but the love is always with us. Happy New Year.