ForeverMissed
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This memorial website was created in memory of our loved one, Lula Prewitt, 83 years old, born on September 1, 1919, and passed away on November 11, 2002. We will remember her forever.
September 1, 2022
September 1, 2022
Your special day, Mother, and my worst nightmare is happening. One of your grandchildren is missing and I have just learned that he has not been honest with me for years. The second is in really bad shape with his health and has an emergency and I can't get any help for him. And the third, like me, is also in bad shape with our health. My car I depended on the enemy finally managed to steal and I can't get legal help for that or the property I'm still paying taxes on and the neighbor still has us locked out and has a paying business there. Still can't get legal help. I wonder what I (or they) did so bad that we are treated this way. Although I don't know much about the one who does not live with me, I do know for a fact that neither of the other two nor I have broken any laws to my knowledge or done anything to hurt anyone. But it is the end times and I know our Father has not abandoned us. So I will keep praying to have your faith as well and trust Him to see us through. I love you. Happy birthday.
June 1, 2022
June 1, 2022

Silence Through the Storm

Can you hear the silence through the storm
As the darkness over Light has become the norm;
Can you remember when there was a better day
Long before your loved ones were taken away?

Can you hear the voices of the children at play
The happiness they brought to you every day;
Can you close your eyes and remember back then
Those wonderful days and wish you had them again?

Are your days filled with the sweet memories
Or the joy of seeing through shadows of these?
Do you think those days are forever gone
Or do you believe they are here in a song?

No one can tell another how to mourn a missing one
When death comes and takes away; no, there is none;
We must stand and sing in unity to the memory of then,
Stand proud that those memories we will defend of men.

The deceptions of the world so often close the door
To the heart and the peace we search and pray for;
But we must not let them defeat the truth we know
For the heart tells us we never have to let them go.

The world tells us it is the end and will never change,
Yet it has no answers though nature says just rearrange;
Though the form has changed, they are all still here
Every loved one we have lost; can't you feel them near?

Cry your tears and mourn your loss, then close your eyes
And let your heart see Truth for you will then realize
Only the body is gone; the soul will never leave you
And from the storm the ashes will bring back all anew.

I hear the silence through the storm of life at last
As it rages in the present, the future and the past;
I hear voices of the children singing songs of victory
As they await you and me in a world where all are free!

By Bobbie Sue Boise
May 29, 2022
For Memorial Day 2022
May 10, 2022
May 10, 2022
I missed you so much yesterday, Mother. My own daughter cooked me a wonderful meal and I spent the day with her and one of her two brothers (the other was unable to be here. But he did call and wish me a happy day. I'm not well and I've had it very rough for awhile which is why I didn't post on your site. There were such memories all day and today of those Mother's Day we spent together, you. Mary and I and later you and I with the three children. They may have seemed little to many out there; but they were so precious to us. Just a simple meal together. I love to relive those memories. They mean so much to me. I feel your love with me. And I thank God for the memories I have. I love you, Mother. Happy Mother's Day!
December 26, 2021
December 26, 2021
Merry Christmas, Mother! I miss you even more at this time of the year, But I truly believe you are here in spirit. I know the Christmases of the past are gone until we are together again. It gets more difficult to live in this world every day and I'm feeling a lot of the challenges you went through. I wanted to visit your grave today; but I can't. The homeplace has been taken over by the mob boss of White Oak. They keep a lot of their illegal activities on the property and have it locked up to keep us out. I have tried to find a lawyer to take it to court since I am paying the taxes on the whole thing; but my health and this pandemic we're having keep me from doing so. I'm not even sure one would help anyway even if they knew they would win the case. There are some people who can get away with breaking all kinds of laws; but let your grandson walk out the road and he will be arrested for weeks or even months even though he has broken no law. That is the way it is now; much worse than when you were still here. They refuse to let us have access to what is legally and morally ours. Our country is becoming anything but free and now that we have been trying to crawl out of the mess for the past few months another country is still using their puppets trying to take it over. People like us are being gunned down in the streets and exposed to this killer virus by super spreaders. But my faith is still where you told me to put it; in the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. He is all there is in the end and all of this will be as our past Christmases; a memory. I just hope we all learn what is most important. I thank God for every day of life and pray that He will guide us to Home and I thank Him today for giving me you who taught me by your example. I love you, Mother. I wish I could be the woman you were.
November 12, 2021
November 12, 2021
As I get ever closer to the day we will be reunited, I remember even more so clearly all that you sacrificed for me. I remember your face as if it were yesterday. You taught me to love, Mother. You taught me to be patient with others, to empathize with those whose circumstances may be different to my own, not to judge anyone; but to remember wrong and right, not to hurt another, to forgive when possible, to give back and to be kind. I am not perfect; but I try to remember these things you taught me. I know that I am not worthy of what I hope for after this life; but thank God I don't have to be because that is His gift to me. But whatever time is left, however little or much, I want to be the best I can be and do the best I can do and that means speaking out for what I believe in and never forget the values you taught me and set an example for me. I love you, Mother.
September 2, 2021
September 2, 2021
Happy birthday, Mother. It has been a tough year. Many people have died from the virus and it is really rough on those of us not in good health. I understand that there are some who can't take the vaccines; but so many won't even wear a mask in public. I think that is a simple statement that they don't care if others survive or not. So glad you were not here to see this. It seems a civil war is coming next. Maybe a dictatorship. I haven't been writing much because I'm overwhelmed with so much I find very difficult to understand. I miss your physical presence more than words can say; but I thank God you do not have to see what this time has brought. Domestic terrorism in our own country, going back hundreds of years. At least, for now we have a president (Biden) who really seems to be trying to help the country and the people. But we know we will suffer and are totally dependent on the Lord and we trust that He will help us to overcome. I love you, Mother.
December 25, 2020
December 25, 2020
Mother, I miss you on holidays most it seems. But I thank God you have not had to live through this last year of chaos. I pray that the next year will be better if any of us remain until then. You had to go through so many trials, so much suffering and pain in your life and now the elders are dismissed unless they are rich and powerful in this country. I thought of my poem written back in 2002; "Christmas Without Mother" and posting it here on your page today. I finally found a copy of it and I hope to come back and add it tomorrow. I feel that poem every year; but especially this year. Your strength always got me through the worst times. And I do feel your presence although I can't see your beautiful face I have learned how cruel this world can be when there are some of us who are seen as less than others because we have no material wealth and no power. As I have always know, it is not because of a difference in skin color, sex, differences in comprehension, education (formal or life) or any of those other things that are used; it is simply the poor who are hated by the world. But I know I am much richer with the life I have lived without wealth or power than I ever could have been with either. You gave me a very rich life though we had nothing. I pray my children can say the same when I am gone, if they are still here. As you promised, my heavenly Father is always here for me. He has seen me through so much. And I truly believe He is returning soon, perhaps sooner than anyone thinks. But we are always in His care in life and in death. Evil may seem to be winning; but in the end true justice will be known in this world and I want to celebrate that this Christmas in advance. His will be done. I feel your love, Mother, for me and for your grandchildren. And I love you and I believe I will see you again. Merry Christmas, my Christmas Angel.

November 14, 2020
November 14, 2020
I miss you so much, Mother, every day. I did not forget to post. It is just that I just couldn't. We have all been sick and your grand daughter especially. Although I miss you so much, I'm glad you're not here to live with what is going on in our country. We just had an election like you wouldn't believe. People are dying from a virus that is here because there was nothing accepted that would maybe have at least made the numbers less. Our country is so wounded and abused. It looks like we all may be together sooner than anyone knows. I love you, Mother.
September 1, 2020
September 1, 2020
Happy birthday, September 1
Happy birthday, Mother,
A day not compared to any other;
I feel closer to you each day
From the one you went away.
You were my light as a child,
Precious memories my heart filed;
I watched you struggle for me,
As you dreamed of what would be.
I see you always working hard
Without hope of any reward
Other than seeing me grow,
So many things only God and I know.
You tended the yard and the garden
From morning 'til night again and again;
Taking only the time to milk the cow,
I often wondered, Mother, how.
You carried coal upon your back
Disappearing beneath the sack;
You heated rocks in the fireplace
To warm my feet; this was grace.
No one could have found a better place
Than when I looked upon your face;
I thank the Lord for the honor of you,
The guiding light that saw me through.
By Bobbie Sue Boise
2018
I love you.
May 11, 2020
May 11, 2020
Happy Mother's Day, Mother. You were the best one I ever knew. I know it wasn't easy to be my mother; but you managed to make it seem that it was. I miss you so much especially on this day, and I pray to be with you again one day. I know all things are possible with God.
November 12, 2019
November 12, 2019
There Is A Time
This day is the anniversary of the day you left me
As I cried and begged you to stay for I could not see;
The time had come for us to go our separate ways
Though I could not see that through my tearful gaze.
I remember the last time I held you in my arms
Knowing without you I could not face evil's alarms;
You were my strength and the root of my faith
That kept me going even in the darkest wraith.
I remember your last words as you left me alone
When I said I need you. I can't make it on my own.
Your clear voice said, yes, you can until the end.
You have your heavenly Father. He will defend.
Years have passed since that day you left me,
Not once has He left me; the truth I now see;
For all things there is a time and a season
And there's still so much that must be done.
There is a time to laugh and a time to cry,
A time to be born and a time to die;
A time to plant and to reap, to kill and to heal;
To mourn, to dance, to be silent, to speak, to feel.
There is a time for war and a time for peace,
A time for love and for hate, to begin, to cease;
Every life has a purpose to fulfill every day
And we choose what we do and what we say.
The Father 's promise is we will meet again
Without the deception, without the pain;
So I ask Him to remain close by my side,
For you, Mother, are in His light I cannot hide.
By Bobbie Sue Boise
November 11, 2019
September 1, 2019
September 1, 2019
Happy birthday, Mother. I love you.

MORE LIKE YOU
Dear sweet Mother, how I miss you still!
Though I keep trying to seek God's will
The way you always taught me to do
Trusting and believing He will see me through.
The world is becoming a jungle to live in
Seeking the greed of fame and fortune of men;
Just the way it is said right there in the Word
While judging others and rejecting the Lord.
Every day becomes harder and harder to bear,
As the body grows weaker, seeming so unfair;
But I remember the example you left me,
Never giving up though no peace you could see.
You took your comfort within His loving embrace
With courage and humble hope upon your face;
I always remember the times I never truly knew
All of the pain and suffering you went through;
Even in your worst times you tried your best
To hide the tears from me as you gave Him the rest.
So I pray to keep trusting the Lord to see me through
While helping me to learn to be more like you.
By Bobbie Sue Boise
September 1, 2019
May 25, 2019
May 25, 2019
Mother's Day
Mother's Day has always been a special day
For many reasons upon my life's highway;
The first was the mother I was blessed with
Who proved at least for me it was no myth.
She was always there to love and care for me,
She always tried her very best to strive to be;
Never once did she forget her responsibility
To provide, to guide, to teach truth for me to see.
She gave her best and asked God for the rest
Promising He would see me through my quest
Of life and hope, prayers to set us free
Of all the sewers where human eyes can't see.
I longed to be a mother like the one I knew,
To be that kind of a mother as my children grew;
Her example taught me love and faith always
And my prayer was to do that all through my days.
Still, darkness visits when we are unaware
Of the evil that always awaits us there;
For somehow it has a hold upon our fate
And sometimes we see only once it is too late.
I pray I gave my children strength to survive
Even when the darkest of their days arrive
Though the enemy whispers to make me doubt
How any of God's children may make it out.
Still, I thank God for His reminder today
That He blessed me so much along the way;
Of all the dreams of all I ever hoped to be
That now I know this was the one for me.
I am thankful for even the worst of times
When judged by the world for my "crimes"
Of being born; of being a mother of three,
For God knew a mother I was meant to be.
By Bobbie Sue Boise
May 12, 2019
December 30, 2018
December 30, 2018
Missing Christmas Angel
My Christmas angel can't be seen this year
Though in Spirit she is always here;
Still, I long to see her bright eyes shine
With the magic nearest at Christmastime.
I could never forget the face that saw me through
The years of heartache and struggle; it's true;
Though I seem to forget even my own name
Still, my heart never forgets her just the same.
Once I thought I could never survive another day
Until I heard her voice whisper upon my way;
"I am here. See? I have not forsaken you,
And I will always be near as you always knew."
Can you reach the children God sent to me,
Guide them as I cannot; help them to be free?
It seems I can not reach them at all anymore
For their hearts have been left broken and sore.
The season seems to only bring more pain and grief
And only in His mercy can there be hope and relief;
But, alas, that is a gift I can not give without you
For I have tried so to bring hope for life to renew.
They are drifting far away from me, even now,
Is there nothing I can do to bring them back somehow?
Only God has the power to change our destiny
And once more show those spirits again to me.
So I must trust and have faith in His Love and His Word,
For upon me His love has always freely poured,
He sent a Christmas angel to guide and teach me,
And that is Mother though your face I can not see.
By Bobbie Sue Boise
December 2018
November 11, 2018
November 11, 2018
The Message
Mother, I wish you were here:
You always helped me cope with fear.
I no longer know what to do,
For darkness won't let light through.
All my life I have always needed you
For everything about me you knew:
Your wisdom helped to make me strong
And you never taught me anything wrong.
Sixteen years ago you went back home
Leaving me here essentially on my own;
But I remember the message I heard
Though you were gone as I feared.
I begged you not to leave me alone
For I was not strong enough on my own;
There was no one left to see me through,
Then came the words; "No! That isn't true."
"You still have your heavenly Father, Child,
He is always there to keep you meek and mild;
Never forget how much He has loved you,
Now and forever He will see you through."
When will it be enough for me to lose?
God, please grant me right to choose;
Evil has set its eye upon my own child,
And I have not the strength for another mile.
So many times I have tried to save that one,
As you tried, until death you were not done;
Maybe you could have gotten through at last
If only your loss had not come to us so fast.
Still, I know Who has seen me through
From the moment I had to let go of you;
I must believe while praying for them
That they will learn to trust in Him.
By Bobbie Sue Boise
November 11, 2018
September 1, 2018
September 1, 2018
Happy birthday, September 1, 2018
Happy birthday, Mother,
A day not compared to any other;
I feel closer to you each day
From the one you went away.
You were my light as a child,
Precious memories my heart filed;
I watched you struggle for me,
As you dreamed of what would be.
I see you always working hard
Without hope of any reward
Other than seeing me grow,
So many things only God and I know.
You tended the yard and the garden
From morning 'til night again and again;
Taking only the time to milk the cow,
I often wondered, Mother, how.
You carried coal upon your back
Disappearing beneath the sack;
You heated rocks in the fireplace
To warm my feet; this was grace.
No one could have found a better place
Than when I looked upon your face;
I thank the Lord for the honor of you,
The guiding light that saw me through.
By Bobbie Sue Boise
2018
I love you.
November 11, 2017
November 11, 2017
Fifteen years is but a number. I remember that "a day is as a thousand years and a thousand years is as a day with the Lord." You are with me always, although your body is no longer here. Time is nothing in the end. I love you today as I loved you then and I pray to honor you and all those who have loved me.
September 1, 2017
September 1, 2017
Happy birthday, my dear sweet mother,to you,
You bring me joy today, it is true;
I try to celebrate your life along the way:
But the day you were born was a special day.
The Father lent you to the world for awhile,
A special gift that makes me smile;
He could have chosen for me no other
Who could have been my own sweet mother.
I know I brought you pain and tears
Through my growing foolish years;
But you forgave and loved me anyway
Though you never agreed with all I say.
You taught me to God and self be true
In whatever we may say and do;
Though I fail, I always try my best
And then I leave to Him the rest.
You always gave your all to your family,
Sometimes the price was high and never free;
Still, you continued trusting the Lord
Even when faced with loss you could not afford.
I remember your kind and gentle ways
As I watched you throughout our days;
I hope I learned to be more like you
In many of the things I say and do.
You were not one to ask for anything,
Though I saw how your heart could sing
So let me celebrate this day for you,
A happy birthday to my mother always true.

Bobbie Sue Boise
September 1, 2017
November 12, 2016
November 12, 2016
Mother, every day it becomes clearer to me what a truly special person you were and what a positive affect you had on my life as well as many others. I thank God so much for giving me the gift of having you for a mother, and I know that will last far beyond the end of my life. I love you always.
September 1, 2016
September 1, 2016
Happy birthday, Mother. I miss you more each day I go through finding more of the times I saw you go through. I try; but you were a stronger woman than I. Pain is not easy to deal with, especially when health care of quality is so difficult to find. However, I trust in the Father as you did for He is the only true healer.
The Lord gave me the best example in you. I hope I can do the same for mine. I love you more than words can say.
July 2, 2016
July 2, 2016
I haven't forgotten that you brought me into this world on this day, It has been longer than it seems, or is it the opposite? I only know that I miss you every day. But I am thankful that you have not had to see some of the things that would have broken your heart.
I hope to make you proud, Mother, and I love you always.
November 12, 2015
November 12, 2015
"Mother, the missing you is still fresh even though it has been 13 years today. I have learned that time is so precious and we must enjoy every minute together to the best of our ability because tomorrow is never written in stone. I try to remember all the things you taught me, and I hope to be a positive influence on my children's lives as you were on mine. If I could be half the mother you were, I don't think I could complain. I love you and I thank God you were my mother."
September 1, 2015
September 1, 2015
Happy birthday, Mother. It seems I miss you more, not less, at least your physical presence. Every day I realize more how much I have to thank God for; you and your family, getting me through impossible times, my children, something to eat, shelter, and just experiencing life, being alive.
It helps seeing you in my dreams. I haven't forgotten anything about you. And I know I will see you again. I love you, Mother.
May 11, 2015
May 11, 2015
Why do you think I miss you as much today as the day after I had to say goodbye until the day we will meet again? Do you think it is because I depended so much on you? I know I had a blessing in you and now that I'm having a lot more health problems than before, I realize what you must have went through. I thank God for you, Mother. I wish we could have spent this day together. But I think maybe we did; just in a different way. I love you. Happy Mother's Day.
November 11, 2014
November 11, 2014
I can hardly believe it has been twelve years since you went away. How have I survived without you? Only by the grace of God. I miss you as much today as I did then. In many ways, my life ended on that Monday night as well for it will never be the same again. There is not a day goes by that I don't need you to talk to for you always listened. You understood me in ways that no other human being ever has. But a part of me knows that I will see you again and we will be together again.
  You were indeed a very special lady, mother. I could never have dreamed the richness you brought into my life. And, now, dealing with my own mortality, it is even more real just how special you were. I love you.
September 1, 2014
September 1, 2014
I know we were cheated of these past few years. But I also know all things can work toward good. You taught me that. So I will continue to celebrate your day and your life. Every day I realize how close I am getting to the end of my own. In the end, only love remains, and I will always love you and find comfort in your love for me. Happy birthday, Mother.
May 12, 2014
May 12, 2014
This is always the day I miss you most if there is one day of the year, Mother. But you have left me many good memories of it and my Heavenly Father continues to carry me through. Happy Mother's Day! I love you!
November 12, 2013
November 12, 2013
Yesterday was so rough, Mother. It always has been since I lost you eleven years ago. But I am so thankful for the courage you gave me to try. So I battle all the enormous loss and my ever so waning health every day. Still, I feel your essence helping me through it all. So I choose to celebrate you being a part of my life. Always.
September 1, 2013
September 1, 2013
Today is your special day and I choose to remember the special times we used to have and celebrate the fact that we had those experiences and memories together.
I am so thankful that you were my mother. I know how lucky I was. You always gave your best. I will always love and miss you. Happy birthday.

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Recent Tributes
September 1, 2022
September 1, 2022
Your special day, Mother, and my worst nightmare is happening. One of your grandchildren is missing and I have just learned that he has not been honest with me for years. The second is in really bad shape with his health and has an emergency and I can't get any help for him. And the third, like me, is also in bad shape with our health. My car I depended on the enemy finally managed to steal and I can't get legal help for that or the property I'm still paying taxes on and the neighbor still has us locked out and has a paying business there. Still can't get legal help. I wonder what I (or they) did so bad that we are treated this way. Although I don't know much about the one who does not live with me, I do know for a fact that neither of the other two nor I have broken any laws to my knowledge or done anything to hurt anyone. But it is the end times and I know our Father has not abandoned us. So I will keep praying to have your faith as well and trust Him to see us through. I love you. Happy birthday.
Her Life

Knowing Sacrifice

November 14, 2020
I heard you cry for not getting your way
All about knowing sacrifice you say;
So I would like to tell you what you don't know
And that is sacrifice every day as you grow.
There was once a young man, a true hero
Who gave years of his life for people he didn't know;
He counted himself blessed that he didn't die
For many of his friends died not knowing why.
The killing of women and children left him in tears;
Every night as he fought his conscience and fears;
Wounded in the war, he was MIA almost a year,
A family never knew dead or alive; caring unclear.
He came home at last, tried to build a new life,
Fell in love with a poor farm girl, made her his wife;
Struggling for years with no help to see them through
Though he fought for his country unlike you.
They knew not what to do; no money to fall back on
With a child on the way, all hope was gone
His country left him broken, entirely on his own
Everything left up to the broken two alone.
There was no bailout to help them start anew
And it broke his heart to do what he had to do;
Poor families had little choice back then,
There was no help if you didn't know the way in.
No education or rehab for the poorest of the poor,
So he said goodbye to a family he would die for;
That child was born without hope or dream,
Raised by a mother of faith in a Lord unseen.
Never knowing her father from any other,
Freezing in the cold, worried about her mother;
Watching her work her fingers to the bone,
Struggling to give her child warmth and a home.
The child grew up and finally knew her dad
Though they mourned the years they never had;
No doors opened to welcome her in
In a world of greedy and evil men.
Now, the hero and wife have gone on
Never again will they be all alone;
Still, the curse continues to this day
As she lost all upon her life highway.
Now, she has three children of her own,
Two struggle with her; the other is alone;
She prays for his grandson on the streets, you see
And that is the truth for that child was me.

By Bobbie Sue Boise
May 24, 2020
I remember, Daddy.
In Memory of Albert Lee Prewitt and Lula Chadwell Prewitt
Recent stories
November 13, 2023
  
Dear Mother, 
    How I wish you were here! Years have passed since you went away. You would think I would be used to having to make so many decisions & having to take so much responsibility by now. But I'm really not. I depended on you much more than I probably should have. You were always willing to listen when I needed someone to talk to. I didn't have to worry about you judging me. If you thought of a possible solution, you would say so & if you didn't you remained silent on the matter, whatever it was. You had learned wisely over the years we had together what would help me to be the person I wanted to be & what would not. You knew me in a way I don't think anyone else ever did. There was also that special relationship with Mary & Nancy (better aunts could never be found), Gran who knew me almost as well as his own daughter & he felt more like a father than an uncle, & Ethel Mae was always there to listen as a sister. We were only cousins; but we were the only daughters of sisters & although I never had a biological sister (neither did she) I really think we were sisters in heart. But they were all gone before you & I missed out on so very much.
   There are times when I miss each one so very much; when I realize that I am all alone in this world except for the Father you told me to hang onto. I miss Woodrow & Jack too; but Woodrow just wasn't around as much when we were growing up & later we may see Jack once every year or two because he was so busy with his own life & raising his own children. Even my friends have gone, either a long distance from here or they have made the long journey as you have as well. Your grandchildren are all having a rough time and I don't really know how I can help them. They all have quite different things going on but they have never had anything like a "normal" life. You knew that as I do. Perhaps we are the only ones who realized that what they went through when little would make it difficult for them in the future. They are all so talented in different ways; but they can't seem to work out what they really want. The one who was with you more than he was with me seems to really be in a place in his life that could be the turning point for him or it could be his worst nightmare yet. I'm praying that it will be the turning point & it will be  good. But they have never really had a chance to be their best just as I didn't.
     I often ask myself what you would do if you were in my shoes. I remember how you handled problems with me; but this is a very different ballgame. Even you said that I was not that difficult as a child, just now & then a little stubborn about seeing the world as it really is. You always knew my heart & my goals in life except for that one time. That one loss of that dream left me in a place where I didn't really care about my life anymore as I always had before. I know you would know what I'm talking about because we had a conversation about it less than two weeks before you left us. You apologized as if it was your fault. You blamed yourself. But it wasn't really your fault. If he had really loved me he would have waited another year or so & now having a daughter of my own, I realize that no mother wants her daughter to grow up too fast because there are a lot of things one should do before one marries & starts a family. And you knew quite well that I wanted to become self-supporting and not have to depend on the man I married. But, ironically, neither of the two I later married could be depended on and that dream never became a reality for me as I had hoped, either. I know it was not all their fault because they were human just as I was & I am so thankful for having those kids (one from the first marriage which was what saved my life & the two from the second which gave me three good reasons not to give up on myself). Thanks to all my ambition & prayers I finally managed to get four books self published; but I have never sold any. No one knows my name. I understand nothing about promotion & I have learned it takes more than I will ever see because it is just too expensive to get your name out there and get people to read them.
   I worry so much about the kids & what will happen to them when I make the journey. The one who stayed with you seems to have lost all effort at having a real life for himself. He is his own worst enemy (aren't we all?) & it's like his life is not his own anymore. He is railroaded all the time & blamed for things he didn't do, & he only makes everything worse for himself by accepting responsibilities that aren't his & putting himself in deeper & deeper. He seems so intent on helping his enemies to destroy him completely. The nest one is crippled from where he broke his foot a few years back. He also still has problems with his spine from where they did that surgery when he was thirteen, still has asthma, and a lot of extra weight. He doesn't seem to care about himself or his appearance. On his behalf, he has tried to get help; but has been rejected from even getting a health exam just like his brother has. Your only granddaughter has proven herself to be good at just about everything she tries; but she is never well. Like you, her brothers & me, she has a lot of problems from her teeth & her physical health, like her brother, she has cysts that come from nowhere, headaches, toothaches, irregular heartbeat & no way to get anything done. I have offered to take the responsibilities for their health care & pay by the month; but they won't allow me to do so. I hate seeing their years wasted (as some of my own were) because they can't get any help to be their best selves & go for their dreams. She is even a more talented writer than I ever was & she writes different genre (fantasy). As long as they stubbornly refuse to fight back at these injustices, there is really nothing I can do but pray for them. So you see I really wish you were here.
    I believe in prayer. I know I wouldn't be here today if God hadn't kept me here. And I believe He wants us all to be the best we can be. But the world does not want to allow us that. I don't know why we have so many enemies when we have never done anything deliberately to hurt anyone! But things like this are what I wish I could talk to you about. I have no one but the two of the three kids now & they have their own problems. So it leaves me isolated. Thank God that I do have Him or I would probably go insane! However, I have faith, just as you did, that He will see me through whatever time I have left. I love you, Mother, and one day, when it is the Lord's will, I pray to see you again.
 Love, Bobbie Sue 

November 12, 2021
There Is A Time
This day is the anniversary of the day you left me
As I cried and begged you to stay for I could not see;
The time had come for us to go our separate ways
Though I could not see that through my tearful gaze.
I remember the last time I held you in my arms
Knowing without you I could not face evil's alarms;
You were my strength and the root of my faith
That kept me going even in the darkest wraith.
I remember your last words as you left me alone
When I said I need you. I can't make it on my own.
Your clear voice said, yes, you can until the end.
You have your heavenly Father. He will defend.
Years have passed since that day you left me,
Not once has He left me; the truth I now see;
For all things there is a time and a season
And there's still so much that must be done.
There is a time to laugh and a time to cry,
A time to be born and a time to die;
A time to plant and to reap, to kill and to heal;
To mourn, to dance, to be silent, to speak, to feel.
There is a time for war and a time for peace,
A time for love and for hate, to begin, to cease;
Every life has a purpose to fulfill every day
And we choose what we do and what we say.
The Father 's promise is we will meet again
Without the deception, without the pain;
So I ask Him to remain close by my side,
For you, Mother, are in His light I cannot hide.
By Bobbie Sue Boise
November 11, 2019
December 31, 2020
Christmas Without Mother
Christmas without Mother isn't Christmas at all,
The season is but a season when snowflakes fall;
Mother is gone to Heaven's gate of gold
And I am left here to grow old.
Christmas without Mother isn't real for me
Though I always knew life is never free;
Mother was the anchor that kept me secure
When I lost everything, she was here.
The snowflakes fall, covering the earth
In mockery of memories of my birth;
Our Father called Mother back home,
Leaving me to face life's hell alone.
I thought I had lost all I could stand
When all our loved ones drifted away like sand;
But I still had her to hold on to
Through all the hell we went through.
But now she's gone, the light I saw by
When the darkness left me to die;
So God called her and not me
Leaving me without sight to see.
Now I am empty without her faith in me
To keep me seeking a way to be free;
Standing by my window, watching snowflakes fall,
Christmas without Mother isn't Christmas at all.

By Bobbie Sue Boise
 2002
I wanted to post this poem for you this Christmas. I can't really believe I hadn't already since I wrote it just weeks after losing you. It was a Christmas that only God's comfort and that of my children could get me through. It truly wasn't Christmas without you and it never is. I know you would tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself. But this year was a white Christmas and Travis was not here. I know he wanted to be and I wish he could have been; but there are reasons outside of ourselves that it couldn't be. We have a pandemic and people are dying in large numbers and it is best to quarantine as much as possible. I don't want any of my children to make another one sick since they are none healthy anyway. I don't want to make anyone at all sick, and I'm having a very difficult time just surviving. Still, it was a good Christmas. Tyler and Chasity were here with me and I talked to Travis (just not in person). We did not do gifts as we usually do. I gave each of the three enough to get a present with, not much, but better than nothing and we bought a couple of chairs we found on sale for out real present. We really needed them since the couch broke down and we had nowhere to sit. I think you would have been proud of us all. So I wanted you to know that it was a lovely Christmas and I thank God for it. No one could have asked for more. And I even felt your presence, all of you. Love is what makes it special. I love you, Mother. If it is God's will, I pray to do so throughout the New year. I may not be able to see your beautiful face except in pictures; but the love is always with us.  Happy New Year.

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