7th OCTOBER 2017
The video I have posted celebrates a breathing, laughing Mads. I thought it apt to post it today. The day was very special and Mads got the well deserved love from her dearest friends, some of who had travelled from distant places just to be with her. It was a day of joy and laughter .What made it so special was that after a very long and gloomy spell, Mads had once again begun talking and laughing. When Dhwani called from school to wish her, she was so shocked to hear mother’s voice,  she started weeping!

So how did this happen?

When the doc gave his prognosis, I found it very hard to accept.. She had less than a year. My god how was that possible? There had to be another way.Late in the night when all was quiet, exhausted though I was from all the caregiving tasks and activities, I just couldn’t sleep seeing my sis the way she was. I set out to look for an alternative to the radiation and chemo which she had been subjected to and which was quietly killing her. 

 When you are determined and passionate they say the universe always finds a way. And it did through an email from a friend mentioning Joannah Budwig. I pounced on that information and greedily lapped up anything I could find about the treatment. I bought every book she had written, researched any link that was on the internet. And what I found was a gift. The “Budwig protocol”. It made immense sense. I decided to try this with all my heart. Because I was convinced this could work. It Ignited in me  a glimmer of hope …

 I believe this was an outcome of  working with this diet. It is actually not a “diet,” but rather a specific mixture necessary for many alternative treatments; from type 2 diabetes to cancer to heart disease to autoimmune diseases.

 As you see in this video, the results were spectacular. Mads started speaking and laughing again. The doc said he had never seen such a remarkable turnaround. It was a couple of days before her Birthday that I had to re admit her to karnunashraya since I had to travel to Delhi to settle her matters. So what you see is Mads fresh from home having been exclusively on this diet.

 But sadly I found it very challenging to continue because there was no support. There was nobody I could hand the baton to at the Institute or to any one else while I was travelling.  The nurses had other patients. Nobody had the time.

 The hardest was fighting off the sceptics who had already written her off …the visitors  who would in all ignorance, ply her with sugary drinks and fried foods …a total no no in this Protocol because  sugar, as we know, feeds cancer.

"Hope is what keeps you trying, Faith is believing things will change. Courage is taking action to make it happen. "



 

It is now 1:52 am – a few hours back I was siting on the back porch staring absentmindedly into the darkness of the night, when I suddenly remembered Madhavi. The thought of her wouldn’t go and when it persisted, I started searching for her on the net.

I was shocked beyond words when I came across this site. Disbelief made me say no this is not the Madhavi I knew – it couldn’t be. I looked at each photo, over and over again, until I could not lie to myself anymore.

Sadness and gloom filled me and made me ask why her Lord? She was always so full of life, laughter and love – she didn’t deserve to go this young neither did the world afford to lose such a wonderful soul. She has been the finest person I have ever met.

I met her first time when she joined Delhi School of Social Work. A then common friend introduced us. I do not know why but we instantly bonded and became great friends.

Those beautiful, big, glimmering eyes, her mischievous smile and infectious laughter would always would always fill me warmth and happiness. I guess nobody could ever be angry or sad when she was around.

I still remember her calls to my office, “Josh, I need to talk to you – today.” So, after work, I would have to go all the way to Delhi University, pick her up, go have dinner and then sit talking for hours on the steps of her hostel.

Her carefree attitude belied her intensity and sensitivity to the world around us. Her questions and search for the meaning of life and love was what would keep us there for hours.

I remember one morning she charged into my place, literally kicked me out of my bed, told me to go take a shower and get ready. Then she made me sit on the floor and did some ritual and put a tika on my forehead and said it was some bhaiya something day (it wasn’t Raksha Bandhan – something Marathi, I don’t remember exactly) and that she did this ritual with her brother and since he wasn’t around I was the substitute.

Unfortunately a few years later I lost total contact with her but she was always most fondly remembered and will always be – from now on, like Khalil Gibran wrote, with tear and a smile…….

I was shocked and saddened to read that Madhavi had passed away. I am a member of Nichiren Buddhism and her experience of courage and determination has greatly inspired me and hundreds of others and continues to do so even today.

Here is a quote that I want to share from Sensei Ikeda and is based on the wonderful Buddhism that Madhavi practiced.

"Cycles of life and death can be likened to the alternating periods of sleep and wakefulness. Just as sleep prepares us for the next day’s activity, death can be seen as a state in which we rest and replenish ourselves for new life. In this light, death should be acknowledged, along with life, as a blessing to be appreciated." -Sensei Ikeda

She continues to encourage and bring life to so many who read about her, even those who didn't know her. That in itself is amazing and the light she brought forth in her life continues to guide others.

Jim

When Madhavi and I first met, I had  never imagined that we would become such good friends one day. Bright and vivacious, Madhavi walked into the landscape of my life when I was going through a particularly challenging time. We were sort of two diametrically opposite people in some ways. For Mads, there never was an obstacle she could not challenge and for me, there never was a victory I could ever conceive. For some span of time her mission seemed to be all about changing my defeatist attitude. "Jaya,' she would say in that inimitable fashion of hers, "you must believe in yourself. You have the right to be happy as much as anyone else." And then she became hellbent on getting me to enrol for a personality changing course - Forum. But in those days, coughing up 4 grand for something I was not even sure of, seemed too high a stake. I think she was quite disappointed with my attitude then and yet she refused to give up. She would drive all the way from Noida to my house in Charmwood Village just to spend some 'quality time' with me as she called it.
I kept in touch with Madhavi through the highs and lows of both our lives. Her losses were more than what any normal person could have dealt with in one lifetime. I spent 6 days in Goa with Madhavi and lil Dhwani. The trials of her life had wrought perceptible changes in Madhavi but she remained brave with her sense of humour quite intact.
We used to sit up late at nights talking into the wee hours of the next day. Little did I know then that that would be the last time I was meeting Madhavi the way I had always known her to be - confident and cheerful. . One evening, many months later, she called me up from AIMS and whispered hoarsely, "Jaya please, please pray for me. There are some tests to be done and I am quite afraid."
Nothing prepared me for the Madhavi that I saw when I visited her in hospital in Bangalore. Her large, black, beautiful eyes looked at me without blinking but I could not tell whether she recognized me anymore.
I know that Madhavi has already moved onto the next lap of her life journey now and yet I feel she is not really gone. She can't be, having left behind so many of us who love her in ways that we can never share with anyone else.   God bless Madhavi....

The least I could do was to express it . She has been very vocal with me but rather internal about this monumental loss of hers.She refused to cry.. telling me ," Mum was too special Maasi ...She wasn't just any mum she was my diamond. I am going to miss her shine." So I put that in the video.

When she watched it she broke down. Think it was needed.

For those of you who missed being there.

'Aaaah Chaaaai'..... is what I remember Madhu would say after her first sip of tea at my place.... I picked it up  and still say it ! We lost touch years ago but I have often thought of her and wanted to get back in touch. I often googled her but had no luck. in the 80s,we would go for long walks .... she, often advising me on 'this and that' and I remember her telling me 'Always live life King Size'..... I looked upto her and adored her... She introduced me to some for my favourite music.... Deep Purple, Pandit shiv kumar Sharma, Shakti and of course Zakir Hussain..... I wish I had been able to get back in touch with her .... she will remain in my thoughts ..always as the person who taught me to' Live life Kingsize' !

Madhu broke her leg when in Woodstock.Baba & Sudha visited her in her 2nd floor flat in Woodstock School in Mussories.

A surprise party organised by Anshu, Madhu & Jyoti at Asiad Village, New Delhi Aug 2005

Standing Lto R: Ganesh, Preeti-Abhijeet Pendharkar & Krishna,Anshumali with       Dhawni, Ravi & Ranjana Sudhalkar
Chairs: Jyoti, Sudha, Baba,Madhu
Sitting : Ritu Sudhalkar, Gauri & Zai Ganesh & Arjun Pendharkar

We were sitting on the stair case of the Kamani auditorium in Delhi. We had just come out of a mesmerizing 3 hours of Zakir Hussain's tabla with the great flautist Hari Prasad Chaurasia. Madhu was of course totally into Zakir (and his locks of hair moving in tandem with the tihai's and kaidas).

The lobby of Kamani was empty. The audience had gone back in for the next concert of the night, which we were not interested in. Out of nowhere, Ustad Zakir Hussain comes towards us....well, actually towards the door. 

He pauses, and gives a glance to Madhu. Madhu is in a shock. 
Here is what happened then -
ZH: Hello, how are you? 
Mads: Fine....We loved the concert. We want your autograph (takes out a notepad)
ZH: Sure, I can give you my autograph. 
Mads (Coyly): But we don't have a pen.   (thankfully, for her...no one else has a pen around).
ZH: No Problem. Why don't you meet tomorrow, and I will give you my autograph
(Tomorrow he is playing with the great Pt Nikhil Banerjee)

Mads: but .....we....don't ....have ....tickets.....for ....tomorrow
(those of you who know her, can easily imagine how she must have said this)

ZH: Don't worry, tomorrow come backstage and I will let you in. 
Both of us : Thank you. 

Next day, we both land up in the green room. Thankfully, he recognizes us. He was warming up on his tabla. He made us sit with him, and offered tea. He gave his autograph and started general chit chat. He wanted us to stay for the concert but we did not have tickets. He graciously offered to seat us on stage. So we both sat through the concert on stage with a few other distinguished guests. It was memorable. Imagine listening to two greats sitting 5 feet away. And Madhu gets all the credit. 

Too bad, we did not have a camera with us. It would have been a hell of a photo.  

Youtube does not seem to have that concert, but this comes close
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84EGCmxeDPw
 

Madhu was very fond of Western music. She made me listen to her favourite albums and once tried to teach me to dance until she gave up on me.  In those days (we were both in college), I was learning tabla. My interest was more on Indian classical and hindi music. An inquisitive Madhu was always curious about this strange type of music.

One day, she wanted to know more and asked me to introduce her. I wanted to select something that would interest her. So  I chose this recording of Ravi Shankar and Ali Akbar Khan, a live duet in Carnegie Hall in 1982. Zakir Hussain and his father, Alla Rakha, accompanied on the tabla. Over the next several days, I walked her through the intricasies of the music. She got it quite well and was especially enthralled when Zakir Hussain converses on the tabla with the Sitar, and of course the jugalbandi between father and son. 

It was Raag Mishra Piloo, and after that we listened to it 100s of times. 

When you passed away, I listened to it again a few times that day....hoping you were listening with me.  

Madhu, you left behind the casette I made for you. 

Here is the full concert for you. 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJXwyXXb6eY
 
Next Story - the quest to meet the Tabla maestro.  

Madhu, as we fondly called her, and I became very close friends when we were about 3 or 4. That's the earliest recollection I have. She is my closest sister. But she was much more than that. 

We met quite frequently and explored the world around us. We talked a lot, we laughed a lot and helped each other out. And as we grew older, our bond kept on getting stronger. Madhu was extremely mature and I could count on her for help or advice any time. Our journeys traversed many different terrains, but our conversations never stopped.

Her enthusiasm had no bounds, and she would take on any situation with a laugh. Even when angry, she would end up laughing. She approached people with a genuine sense of affection. In fact, I used to call her a magnet. Whoever came into her life instantly got attracted to her. It took me a long time to understand how she did it.  And for each and every person who came into her life, this will be a shock that you are not there anymore. A part of us went with you.

We had a lot of deep philosophical debates about life. It might come as a surprise, but Madhu used to be a non believer when she was younger. She used to think that everything was explained by evolution. The concept of God did not exist. But as her own life journey went, she came across many difficult situations. And just when a door closed, another would open for her. She would then say – yaar, bhagwan hai……And I would remind her of her belief and we would end up laughing and surmising, that yes, maybe God exists.

We made a pact. Whoever passes away first, will inform the other if God exists.

So tell me, Bhagwan hai?

For once, I really want God to exist. 

Mads Loved dancing the Ballroom with Dad and it was such a treat  getting him to dance to his favourite number 'House of Bamboo'. I remember we used to giggle a lot watching him do his number.

 Here are Mads and Dad having fun.

Thanks to our Nautical brother,  Mads and I were both gifted these T-shirts by him when he came back from sea. We immediately struck a pose after wearing it and sailed through the summer of '81 flaunting our new found style!