Maria was the youngest of three children of an Australian born  mother and an Italian born father. Her father was the youngest of seven children,  six boys and one girl, who came to Australia around the beginning of the 20th century and settled in Bendigo. I am sure that her Italian heritage contributed to a positive attitude to family.

Maria attended the one convent school in Bendigo right through her primary and secondary levels and was a very receptive pupil, gaining one of the newly introduced Commonwealth scholarships  to allow her to enter the  Faculty of Arts  at Honours level at the University of Melbourne in 1952. She also won an  Education Department of Victoria bursary which paid her a stipend and bound her to work for the Department for a time after graduation.

Maria and I were elected to the Students Representative Council in 1954 and during these meetings we first became aware of each other.

This is not the place for a description of the development of our relationship, so I will go on to tell you about the positive aspects of her character and personality as I gradually discovered them over the sixty years since our first meeting.

Maria graduated with an honours degree in 1956 and supplemented this with a Diploma of Education . She started teaching with enthusiasm at a new high school in Robinvale Victoria. We had reached an understanding by this time and announced our engagement at the school speech night in December  1957. Her attitude to marriage  was indicated when she told me she wanted a big family, specifically eight children.

At that time marriage for a woman in the education department meant that she became immediately a temporary employee . Career women couldn't be married.

Maria and I married at her father's birthplace in Italy, and spent a year in England together before returning to Australia with baby Marina in 1960.
I accepted an offer of employment with BHP and we commenced life in Newcastle together . Over the coming eight years Maria experienced one of  the busiest periods of her married life.

Having six more children, Clare, Ruth, Dominic, Jerome, Clement and Sophie at the Mater Hospital resulted in dealing with the usual   primary school activities and childhood illnesses  .

Maria still found time to write, and present at conferences, two  papers on marriage and family topics. She also initiated and organised guest speakers and family child minding facilities for luncheon groups of young mothers.
My job took me from Newcastle to Melbourne in 1968 and this involved considerable travel interstate and overseas... Maria dealt with the seven  children with some help from my mother on an ad hoc basis...  on one occasion I was based in the USA for six weeks and Maria had to deal with the colds and other children's complaints which were normal during a Melbourne winter. Our 8th child, Julian, was born in Melbourne in 1970.

An unexpected trauma occurred just before Christmas in 1971 when our eight year old daughter Ruth stepped into the path of a truck on her way back to school after she had been allowed to come home from school for lunch just before Christmas. She died of her injuries in hospital that night. This tragedy caused Maria to develop an undiagnosed overactive thyroid which resulted in health problems for many months, apart from the  associated grief which she lived with for much longer.

Work took me from Melbourne to Perth in 1974 and this caused a whole new set of school activities . In addition to volunteering for tuck shops , Maria eventually was appointed to a   school board and the Parish Council. A positive event in 1977 was the birth  of our daughter Naomi after Maria survived an emergency operation.

Once again a work move took the family to Port Hedland in 1979. Our eldest girls stayed in Perth to commence tertiary studies.

        
 Apart from her extensive school commitments   Maria gained a qualification as a music teacher, and with her friend Michele arranged classes in piano and violin. As an experienced mother Maria provided much informal advice to the young mothers who had no extended family in the town. She also volunteered to deliver Meals On Wheels to the indigenous community.

A change in legislation caused the mining company to move all the staff from Port Hedland back to Perth, and in 1986 Maria was again involved with schools at a more senior level. She was now able to take up teaching positions ; this included City Beach High school, Gladys Newton school for  for disabled kids, and English classes for migrants.

I had moved from staff to contract engineering work, and once more long absences from home were involved. Eventually retirement became attractive and we moved permanently to the village of Binningup 30km north of Bunbury in 1996. Our parish was 15 km away in Australind but Maria took part in the weekend liturgy, reading the scriptures and commentating , and from time to time playing the keyboard at Mass.

Maria became active in Binningup, playing a significant role in the  the formation of a book club. She was also a regular volunteer at a small library which commenced operations after we arrived. She also did volunteer driving for Home and Community Care based in Harvey .

It became clear that driving from Binningup  to Australind and Bunbury could become a problem in the event of a need for continuing medical treatment, and we moved back to Perth in 2011. Unfortunately, Maria became ill only a year  after our return.

 

I have described the main features of Maria’s life and will now talk about her as a person. The words that have come up most since Maria died are “generous”, “warm” and “special”.

 

Maria was a very active mother and grandmother, interested and involved but never pushy or controlling. Memories that have surfaced since she  became ill have all been of fun times with her.

 

Maria loved board games and often played them with her children and grandchildren – one time she won Trivial Pursuit in a single move (meaning none of the other players got a turn).  

 

Maria’s love of music meant that there were many musical activities over the years which were a huge source of enjoyment for family members and other people.

 

Family Christmases in our house were always a big event. Once the grandchildren came, Christmas at Binningup was treasured by everyone – trips to the beach and hours out on the deck, or curled up in the big chair playing with presents. Of course Maria’s Christmas pavlova looms large in the grandchildren's minds.  She  always handled the chaos of a houseful of people with relaxed grace.

Perhaps Maria’s most defining characteristic was her non-judgmental interest in people, and her concern for them. She influenced people by her example and her way of being, rather than by trying to control them. Many people have told me in the last few days about ways that Maria helped or encouraged them, or cared for them when they needed it.

 

Although our children and grandchildren followed many different pursuits and interests, Maria valued them all – intellectual, artistic, sporting. She celebrated successes and commiserated with disappointments. Maria didn’t use the word “failure” much.

When the children’s friends, and later partners, came to our house, Maria always made them feel welcome in a relaxed way. She remembered what everyone was doing, and what they were interested in, and valued everyone’s pursuits equally. It was a happy home.

The poet Maya Angelou wrote:

 “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel”.

Maria made people feel they mattered. She lived her values every day.  She was a wonderful wife, mother and grandmother. We will never forget her.