This is intimidating … What words of comfort can I possibly offer to my dear friends Ellen and Ron and Lena in the wake of what you’ve gone through during these many months of Martha’s illness, especially during these past few weeks that she’s suffered so.
Words are so inadequate, but I remind myself that eloquence is not required -- only love and kindness, and I have plenty of that for the three of you.
My memories of Martha are mainly from many, many years ago, when we lived in La Jolla, and Martha took care of Katie and Kristen, along with Lena, during the hours when the three of them were not in Preschool at Sorrento Valley. Katie was 5, Kristen 3, and Lena 2 ½. When I came to collect Katie and Kristen after a long day’s work, often horribly late, Martha was always cool, calm, smiling, and gracious. If they had been hellions, as I’m sure they were at times, I never heard a word of it.
I also learned much about Martha, and even more about you, Ron, when I got to work with Ellen on a video for your 60th birthday. What fun we had, sifting through old reel-to-reel home movie footage taken by your father in the 50s, Martha tottering about, having barely learned to walk, and being doted over by big brothers Ron and Stuart. I had always observed how loving and gentle you were, Ron, with Martha, but I got to see the root of it in those videos, along with the deep roots of your love for your father and your brother, Stuart. I think that dynamic remained in play for all of Martha’s life – Martha who remained child-like in many ways; Ron, so brilliant and accomplished. Yet, clearly none of that mattered a whit to either of one of you. Ron, truly there has never been a little sister who adored her big brother more, or a big brother who showed his little sister more kindness. And Ron, not just Martha, but all of us who know and love you, have been the beneficiary of that gentleness toward your sister, because it has deeply informed the essence of the person you are today.
Jim and I send our blessings to the three of you as you celebrate Martha’s life tomorrow and Thursday.
All our love,
Kim and Jim