Wow! What a wonderful tribute. I was a little girl growing up on Kathryn Ave right across the street. In a nastalgic moment, I  was looking up the old summer house online and came to this somehow. John Sr. took me for my first trick ski adventure. Growing up with the Duffy's across the way was a part of my history. I am so glad Mary had such a long and seemingly healthy and beautiful life. Seeing this photo and the one on the boat surly brought tears to my eyes. Hi Mary Alice and John David! God Rest her Soul.............

Mrs. D.

Our family loves you so much. We have spent every holiday together, which I will never forget. I feel so lucky to have known you and spent so much time with you. You were a surrogate grandmother for Sophia and I, and we will never forget all the funny times we've had. Like when Grace, your snuggly couch partner, started at your side with some pets, then moved to sitting next to you on the couch with some more pets, and then the next thing we all realized was Grace, our fluffy 85lb golden retriever, was sitting across your lap. We thought she was crushing you, when really you were sitting there laughing at this loving dogs need to be close to you, and the warm and soft fur she provided. We knew eventually you would be over it because after a while she gets heavy haha. Also I will never forget how much you loved the restaurant Rats, and the beautiful art walk it provided. We had a great lunch there, and all enjoyed being there with you seeing all the beautiful and odd artwork.

Mrs. D you were a strong herione, I think thats how you spell it, and a beautiful woman inside and out. You were also sharp as a tack, and were always giving helpful life advice to Sophia and I.  You told us to always smile, and only do things if it makes you happy, best advice anyone could ever give because she always said as long as it makes you happy. You helped us decide on colleges as well. Mrs. D we are all going to miss you sooo much! You were beautiful, strong, and super smart! Lots of love

I was lucky enough to have met Mary, while she was visiting John David in Shell Beach Calif about 18 years ago. I always looked forward to her visits and the laughs we would have while sitting in the front yard looking at the beach. She was such and interesting person with a lot of sound advice. I will miss Mary and her charming ways, but will always remember her for her smile, laughter and great kindness. Mary will always shine through John David and Mary Alice, she will never be gone to all that loved and respected her.

Once upon a time , there was a family (mine) who was in need of a Mother and eventually , a grandmother.   To make a long story short, about 40 years ago, our families came together to be friends for life.  When I married my husband, Steve, in1987, I was about to start a family with no Mom of my own, and so Mary, whom we affectionately call Mrs. D, who already shared most of our holidays with us, stepped up to the plate and took on the job, happily I might add.  It was a perfect family!  I wanted a mom to share the experience of motherhood with(My own died when I was 16) and she got an extra daughter and then some grandaughters to give advise to along with an English son-in-law.  Maryalice and JD got more relatives and a couple of nieces who love to visit.  It was perfect and all by choice.

Mrs.D meant so much to us.  No holiday was the same without her!  She shared every birthday, every prom dress and every college decision my girls made and could not hear enough about their many experiences and she remembered everything.  She was their Idol of fashion and giver of common sense.

She gave me confidence and reassurance that my life choices were good ones and told me my mother would be proud.  She told me when I needed to do better too.  Not too long ago, when I was at her house, she asked me what Steve was doing (She liked him a lot or maybe it's his accent, haha)  When I told her he was working in the yard on a Sunday she told me to go home and make that man his dinner.  He works too hard.  She scolded me for spending too  much time at her house that day when I should have been cooking!

We will all miss her greatly and are grateful to Maryalice and JD and Donna for sharing her with us.    The Weston's, Steve, Kathy, Rachel and Sophia and Gracie (the dog)


 

My mother loved clothes and creating them. She made me many outfits over the years, and for my cousin Marylee and for herself. She took a lot of pictures of the early outfits, but she sewed on! One time she came to see me in college with an entire wardrobe! She also made drapes and slipcovers for the house and a huge braided rug. Hats off to her creative spirit! (I hope some of it stuck.)

Mary and others employees of the Trenton General Electric Company Plant in New Jersey were featured in a newspaper article about joining the war effort. Mary's picture is the top left. The captions reads:
"I'm Mary Burttshell of the Personnel Department. I interview the evergrowing group of women who are eager to have a part in Trenton's war effort."
 

I loved Mrs. Duffy.  I graduated in 1961 and I was so happy to see her at our 40th class reunion.   Mrs. Duffy was my history teacher and she was such a passionate history teacher.  She added fun to the classroom and teaching in a way that made you remember what she was teaching.  To this day I get caught up in our American history.


Mrs. Duffy had a wonderful sense of style that inspired all of us.  No lie; sometimes when I am buying clothes I think of her.  I remember her saying to me " buy good clothes they last longer and stay in style".  She made such an impression me.


Thank you for sharing all of her photos.  They are a pleasure to view.      

Mrs. Mary B. Duffy

By:  Eleanor L. Beebe Adams – April, 2012

     Mrs. Duffy was my history teacher for two years and my yearbook advisor for three.  She was a strikingly attractive woman:  tall, slender with beautifully full, dark hair and very stylish clothes.  As she said to me once, she loved beauty:  beautiful flowers, beautiful clothes, and beautiful houses.  The roses in her garden in Ocean Grove were gorgeous, and, in later years, she was very grateful that Mary Alice helped her keep them that way. 

     Everyone who knew her knew she was a staunch Republican who tried to instill her conservative views in her students.  I think that was a result of having grown up during the Great Depression.  She once said, “We were always cautious spending money … but we were happy.”  Most of all, she taught us how to be good citizens:  learn about the candidates and issues, write to your congressmen about your views, and VOTE.  I doubt that there are many students who had Mrs. Duffy for U.S. History who miss going to the polls on Election Day.  They might not vote Republican, but I bet most of them vote. 

      Recently I received an e-mail from Dick Godsey who became an English professor.  He was lamenting the passing of our guidance counselor, Mr. Watson, in which he shared the following anecdote.  “…One time in my life I was thrown out of class, during our senior year class on American History taught by Mrs. Duffy. You recall that she had conservative political leanings. Our textbook had a passage about "Manifest Destiny." I found the concept to be astonishingly wrong in what it meant for our mistreatment of Native Americans.  I suppose I expressed my views too forcefully (as teenagers are inclined to do), and Mrs. Duffy sent me to the office.  Well, Mr. Watson found this so amusing that he had to fight to suppress his urge to smile. I don't recall his exact words, but he encouraged me to be more diplomatic in the future. I think it was the only time I got into trouble in my 12 years of school, and about Manifest Destiny. He found it hilarious, I suspect.”

     “Auntie Mame,” as some of us affectionately referred to her, loved to be around people who made her laugh.  One of her favorite memories of Steinert was Mr. Caffrey.  To quote her: 
     
     “When I was a guidance counselor in my office, sitting out in the lobby and he called me on the phone and told me he was so-and-so’s father.  ….
     I tried to tell him that I didn’t have a so-and-so.  His name didn’t fit in with my assignments…

     He was Italian, and he wasn’t listening to anything I was saying. 
     And I bought it hook, line and sinker.  Everybody else in the counseling office…they were hysterical, and I was distraught.  I was VERY distraught.  All of a sudden…I mean I had an irritated father on my hand and didn’t understand that I wasn’t just saying to him, you know, I don’t want to be bothered. 

     And finally, I heard somebody laugh.  And I looked out the door, and then I saw that Owen.  That was a memorable occasion, because I really fell for it.  Usually, I’m cautious.”
     
     So many things I still enjoy doing today are a direct result of working with Mrs. Duffy on the yearbook staff, writing, taking and cropping photos, making collages, and designing layouts.  Each of us had our jobs, and the classroom was alive with all sorts of creative discussions and displays.  Every school day for three years, I could look forward to yearbook class.  We had great fun planning Class Night together when the yearbooks were presented and some of the athletes danced in the dark with little blinking flashlights to “Glow Worm”.  She was also a chaperone on our Washington, D.C. trip.  It’s no surprise that she was asked to go.  She was such fun!

     But the fun didn’t stop there.  She had us over to her house for picnics in the backyard, we had quasi intellectual discussions, and once she even loaned me her college abnormal psych book, because I was interested in psychology.  And she kept us informed about her children:  Mary Alice who was swimming, getting ready for the Junior Olympics, I believe, and John David, her “handsome son”, whom I’ve always wanted to meet but never have.  They were younger than we were, but not by much.

     After graduation in 1961, I lost touch with her, but almost 40 years later, I decided to try to find her.  Fortunately, I ran into another former student, Earl Carhart, not long before he died, and he suggested that she might be living in Ocean Grove.  That was the lead I needed.  My husband and I went to the police station where we were able to locate her address.  No, she wasn’t an ex-con, just a former teacher with an unlisted phone number.  We went to her house, knocked on the door, and renewed our friendship, which continued from then for the rest of her life.  We shared the Ocean Grove 4th of July Parade and lunches on her patio.  When we brought a young couple from Germany to visit one year, they said that their time with Mrs. Duffy was their favorite part of their entire trip…even better than celebrating the 4th of July in Washington, D.C.  That’s just the way things were when we were with her…fun-filled, happy, joyous and never boring. 

     In July of 2004, I asked her if I could interview her and have my husband video-tape the interview, so that I could transcribe her comments for our 40th Reunion book.  She agreed. 

Some of the memorable quotes from that interview are:

“I often wonder what’s kept me alive.  I’m always interested in everything.” 

“I think laughter cures everything.” 

“I loved to dance!  I wanted to die dancing.  Maybe I still will.  I don’t know.” 

     Well, maybe her last days weren’t spent on a dance floor, but her indomitable spirit continued to dance through life for over 95 years, and that’s quite an accomplishment. 

     Our last time together was in September, 2011.  By then, she was more limited in her travels and had an aide to help her with meals and housekeeping, but she never lost the twinkle in her eyes and her eagerness to have an interesting conversation.  As always, it was a joy to be with her. 

      And so, Mrs. Duffy, you aren’t likely to be forgotten by your students, who will probably think of you every Election Day.  You had a powerfully positive impact on so many students over the years, and for this we love you and thank you.  May God bless you and keep you forever.

I never had Mrs. Duffy for a teacher…only for homeroom.  However, she was most supportive in everything I did. Mary Duffy was my homeroom teacher in our senior year.  I never had Mrs. Duffy as a teacher.  But as a homeroom teacher, I experienced her as a very caring person with a wry sense of humor and a bit of skepticism added in when faced with a student giving excuses for less than proper behavior.  With a tongue firmly in her cheek, I remember her threatening Len Crowther to omit him from the list of students being allowed to go on the Washington trip. 

Mrs. Duffy was always the good person setting the good example in character, knowledge and appearance.  She strived and succeeded in being a respected, humane leader of high school students.   Chris DeBlois

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Thank you for informing me of Mrs. Duffy's passing.

I really liked her, she was cool. She always dressed so nice and carried herself well.

I will always remember her as a good teacher and classy lady.

One who would listen to you when you spoke to her. She was really interested in what you would say.

That's my remembrance of her.

Sincerely,

Betty Bailey (Elizabeth Betty-jo Yeager )

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I did not have Mrs. Duffy for a teacher, but I always thought she was a classy lady.  The family is in our prayers.  Jack Cinkay

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I never had Mrs. Duffy for a teacher…only for homeroom.  However, she was most supportive in everything I did in HS whether it be the yearbook, school plays or the newspaper as I was so involved in everything.  I remember her as being the "fashionista personified".  She was always smartly dressed & presented herself as a fine lady.

    I kept bumping into her out shopping over the years & we would always stop to chat.  When I first asked her if she remembered me she replied, "of course Norene, you were one of the Steinert superlatives."  What a nice thing to say when she had so many students.    I am so grateful for Eleanor Beebe Adams who was instrumental in getting together with Mrs. Duffy over the past ten years when she came up for those choir weekends with Mr. Frank's Kids.  I enjoyed visiting her at her home in Hamilton & down the shore.  One visit in particular for dinner & a shore concert when she was dressed in a white linen shirt with those big Jackie O/ Audrey Hepburn sunglasses..that's how I will remember her always.

What a gal!

Norene Halper Barish '60'

Mary celebrated her 90th Birthday with family and good friends at one of her very favorite restaurants, Washington's Crossing Inn. Everyone had such a wonderful time. Mary had so many of her friends together that hadn't seen each other for a very long time. It was a great reunion of friends as well as family.

The Steinert High School class of 1968, in Trenton New Jersey dedicated that year's yearbook to Mary. Mary was an advisor for the yearbook staff for eight years.
The article states: "In grateful recognition of her patience, zeal, and leadership, which enabled our school to have outstanding yearbooks, and in appreciation of her many contributions to Steinert, we dedicate the 1968 Cresset to her.
Click on the photo to enlarge. 

I took this picture the other day of the house showing the blooming dogwood tree.
Beautiful... 

One thing I always loved about Aunt Mary was her sense of humor and fun spirited attitude. This picture was taken on a summer evening after Mary Alice and I brought home some crab we had caught that day. We sat on the porch outside, and Mary thoroughly enjoyed tearing apart several crab with her hands. In need of a way to wash her hands, she suggested we pull over the bird bath that was full of rain water. I got such a laugh out of watching her take her little crab bath! She was always so much fun and up for anything.
I will miss her greatly, but I am so thankful I was able to share so many good times with her and will always treasure these memories. 

This picture of the Duffy Home was photographed at Christmas time in the late 60's and was featured in the local newspaper. Mary loved her home and loved having friends and family filling the house with lots of joy and laughter.