Hey Mom, I'm having a tough night tonight without you.  So much is going on right now that I just wish I could tell you about and get an answer and your input! I was listening to my ipod and this song came on and it always makes me think of you and it's comforting in some way to know that when I miss you I can look in the sky and know the stars are holding you tonight.  Ilove you mom and I miss you so much!

Tonight by FM Static
   I remember the times we spent together all those drives, we had a million questions all about our lives and when we got to New York everything felt right I wish you were here with me, Tonight
I remember the days we spent together, were not enough, it used to feel like dreaming except we always woke up, never thought not having you here now Would hurt so much
Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up I need your loving hands to come and pick me up and every night I miss you I can just look up and know the stars are holding you, holding you, holding you Tonight
I remember the time you told me about when you were eight and all those things you said that night that just couldn't wait I remember the car you were last seen in and the games we would play all the times we spilled our coffees and stayed out way too late
I remember the time you sat and told me about your Jesus, and how not to look back Eeven if no one believes us when it hurts so bad, sometimes not having you here
I sing tonight I've fallen and I can't get up I need your loving hands to come and pick me up and every night I miss you I can just look up and know the stars are holding you, holding you, holding you Tonight
 

Zach went to his Junior Prom on Friday.  It's very different out here or maybe it's just that going through it from the boy's perspective is different.  I don't know.  It just made me think of you - taking me to look for dresses, doing my hair, ordering the flowers, taking pictures, helping make the windsor loins with cherry sauce for the banquet, and coordinating stuff for the Post Prom Party.  I wish you were here.  It's hard not being able to have a conversation with you about these big moments.  

Today I am most thankful for DREAMS - 

Where I still get to hear your laugh, smell your perfume, feel your hugs, and have just one more conversation.  Where I still have hope that I can somehow fix it and find a way to make it untrue.  

I love you, Mom!

Lexi 

Allison wrote this Speech and presented it to her class last week.  She said that her teacher even cried- I know that I did when she read it to me!

My Amazing Grandma

                One of the most important people in my life passed away last September.  This person was my grandmother.  It’s been a really hard year since she’s not here.  I would always go to her for anything I needed help with.  Her death came as a shock to my entire family.  She passed away due to a massive heart attack.  In spite of her death, I still have so many memories of her.  Some of her qualities always made me laugh and wonder if I have those qualities.

                One quality that I admire is her feistiness.  If you got into an argument with her, you might as well admit that you lost because she wouldn’t back down until she won.  I remember one time she and I were arguing over a word I laid down on the Scrabble board.  After arguing for about 10 minutes, I finally gave up.  At a garage sale, she would talk down the price until it was the price she wanted.  Or even at the grocery store, she would have a little dispute with the cashier if they wouldn’t compare their prices to another stores price.  She would make sure that they knew what they were wrong and then would go back to being her warm-hearted self.  I remember when my little cousin bit his little brother- she scolded him and put him in time out.

                Another is her love for her family.  No matter how mad you made her, she could never stay mad at you for very long.  Her sincerity is what everyone admired her for.  She showed so much love an compassion to everyone in her life that showed it to her.  She was the life of the party when we had family get together parties.  Whenever we had family over, she would be in the kitchen all day slaving away to make a great home cooked meal, which usually consisted of our favorite foods.  She had such grace and dignity.  She was so proud of me and her other 8 grandchildren.

                Last is her hard work that she did for everyone.  She had children young so she had to support them.  She worked at Indian Trails in Beemer, went to Beauty School, cut people’s hair at her own house (including my own hair.)  She worked at Northstar Services here in West Point up until her death.  She was hard working in her home and everything that she did.  One time she was sick and I had asked her if she could give me a haircut and she said that she would even though she was ill.  She was on her feet for 2 hours standing to cut my hair.  She was amazing!

                Throughout this year without her, has been quite a journey.  I’ve had to go to other people for ask for advice from.  My family and I had to adjust to life without her.  It’s been hard but we are trying.  I really wish that I hadn’t lost her so early in my life and even hers.  She was only 57 years old.  But I know that no matter where I am she will always be there for me to help support and guide me in the right direction.

By Allison Dale

Well Mary, we're going to Vegas in a couple weeks and I can hardly stand going there without you - we always had so much fun on our trips so it just won't be the same.  I promise to go to your favorite machine at Harrah's and I'm going to hug it like it's you and then you can put your magic spell on it to be a winner!!  I love and miss you so much.

On behalf of our family, I’d like to express our gratitude for the outpouring of generosity, support, and love we’ve been shown during this devastating time.   It has been healing for us to hear everyone’s memories and stories and to know that mom meant so much to so many people.  

There are so many things that we are going to miss about mom. She was an amazing cook and baker -beef and gravy, ham, her famous buns, waffles and wedding mints. She got so much joy from feeding others that she would spend the meal fussing over everyone and we would have to fight with her to even sit down and eat! Mom never had a huge or fancy kitchen - but she didn’t need that to create a place where we all wanted to congregate. She would zip around us telling stories, giving advice, tripping over dogs and still whipping up something delicious in the midst of chaos.  

 Mom was talented in so many ways and she used those talents to bring joy to others. She enjoyed making angels and other crafts and loved making cards and bags with her clients at Northstar. Mom used her sewing talents to keep us all stylishly dressed - from making our clothes when we were little and money was tight, to making wedding dresses and beautiful outfits for the ones she loved. She was so proud of the pillow case that she and Abbey won a purple ribbon for at this year’s Cuming County Fair. She liked to make people look good and spent year fixing hair and doing makeup for her friends and family.  

Mom loved to have fun , to be part of the gang, and to play games of all kinds. She was obsessed with Atari’s Pac Man and would stay up all night and play it until her hands went numb. She loved playing cards with her friends at Card Club and she was always up for a game with us kids- no matter how late or how tired we were.   You had to watch her though - mysteriously the table talk would seem to shift to jewelry or her favorite colors to wear and dad would always seem to know what suit to pick when they were partners in Pitch or Rook. 

 Mom always encouraged us to be and do our best and whatever we were passionate about - she was behind us 100% of the way. She loved to watch us kids and her grandkids play sports. We always knew mom would be there in the stands cheering for us (or heckling the refs) at the top of her lungs! It made her so happy to be a part of whatever we loved. Mom was truly a one of a kind woman. Her big heart was what made her so great.  

She always wanted to be useful to others and she loved to make people laugh and feel comfortable. There was nothing that mom wouldn’t do or give to help. Whatever anyone was going through, mom was right there feeling it with them.   She didn’t have an easy life and she overcame many obstacles in her short time here on earth. But she had a good life. She knew what it was to be loved and needed. 

 Mom had a big personality and when she felt things she felt them deeply and everybody knew it. She could be feisty and stubborn at times, but deep down she was really a big softy. Her empathy and ability to love were her best qualities. Mom loved her family and friends fiercely. Nobody ever cried alone in her presence and she would have done anything to protect her family and friends from hurt or harm.  

The thought of never seeing her beautiful smile, hearing her laugh, being held and rocked by her or never again being enveloped by one of her hugs again is unbearable. She was the heart and soul of our family. She was our home. It’s hard to believe that she’s gone. But she won’t ever really be gone. She lives on in all of us that she left behind. She lives on in her grandkids whom she loved deeply and made her so proud. She lives on in us kids. In Ryan’s kind heart, in Holli’s generosity and selflessness, in Cortney’s fiery spirit and sense of humor, in Sadie - her miracle baby and their special bond, I feel her in my love of cooking and kids, and in Dad - We were fortunate to grow up knowing that our parents loved each other - through the good times and the bad. Nobody could have loved her more or better than you did, Dad. You gave her a rich life in all the ways that really mattered. 

Mom - We weren’t ready to say goodbye and to be without you yet. But you taught us the importance of family and sticking together and we are surrounded by the love and traditions you created, mom. We will miss you and love you always. I can just hear you saying, “Don’t be sad, this isn’t really a goodbye.”   

This was our First Chrismas without you Mom and it just wasn't the same.  It just didn't even feel like Christmas.  The weather was really warm and no snow.  It was very hard to get into the "Christmas Spirit".  Sadie and I helped Dad put up the tree and we had to decorate it the way you always did- with the red and silver beads, the new LED lights you bought last year because they had purple lights in them, and all of those old ornaments you had- most of them are so old- I think some of them are things we made a long time ago!  I took Dad shopping on December 23rd- you know he always liked to shop at the last minute.  I did get Dad to go to Omaha and we got gifts for the grandkids.  We hit a lot of stores in a short amount of time and got something for everyone.  I am sure Dad would have been just as happy going to Alco and getting little games and trinkets like he did for us when we were growing up.  Dad and I wrapped all of the gifts and put them under his tree- I had to show off my fast wrapping skills- I know Dad was impressed!  I can wrap pretty fast- but you Mom still have the fastest cutting skills- especially when it comes to pancakes!  You could have been a champion pancake cutter- if there ever was such a competition!  Christmas morning Dad came over and watched my kids open their gifts and then we went to Sadie's to watch Jaxon open gifts and Sadie made us all breakfast!  Cortney, Adam and the kids came in the afternoon.  We made our usual Christmas meal and opened gifts.  Dad got each of the boys- and himself- glider airplanes to fly outside- so we all had to go watch as everyone tried to get them going.  Cortney, Sadie, all of the kids and myself took a trip out into the grove and we showed the kids where we used to have our forts.  It's hard to believe, but some of them are still there!   We bought a solar light to put on your grave- it's pink of course- more of a mauve color- your favorite!  We wanted you to have a Christmas gift too!  We miss you and it just wasn't Christmas without you!  We all would give anything to have you back!  We couldn't have asked for a better Mom- even though we didn't always get along- you were the Best Mom!  We love you and Miss you!  Even though we know that you are in a better place, where you aren't in pain or feel so miserable- we wish you were here with us!  Love you!

This was our First Thanksgiving without you Mom~  Even though you weren't physically with us- we knew you were with us!  Cortney, Sadie and I did our best to make some of your recipes for our Holiday "usuals".  Dad and Adam fried the turkey- using our good old Emerils' recipe.  We found the marinade and the rub in the cupboard- the marinade was very questionable! I can't believe that you saved that, but I should not be surprised!  We found some things while cleaning out the cupboards that dated back to the 90's.  You never liked to throw anything away!!!  We made your mandarin orange salad- not quite the same as yours.  We also made our first attempt at your buns (Cortney had made a couple times- but not Sadie or I).  They were ok- but you obviously didn't want us to make them again because in the process- we broke a part of your mixer!  I hope that we can get a new part for it!!!  Cortney even made Deviled Eggs in your honor to take to the Eichelberger Thanksgiving. Glenn even asked to take the rest of them home!  Your ability to make gravy is going to take a long time to replicate!  You had a lot of tricks you didn't tell us about.  Maybe you did try to teach us- we just thought we would have you around forever and so we didn't want to learn.  We should have paid more attention!   We also know now how much work you did getting ready for Holidays- getting all of the grocereies, constantly doing dishes, tripping over dogs in the kitchen, constantly picking things up, and always worring about what to make for the next meal.  No wonder you were always worrying about what to make for supper when it was breakfast!  I think over Thanksgiving weekend I did dishes about 20 times and stepped on Lola or Lucas or Stanley several times!  Needless to say- Thanksgiving was not the same without you Mom!  There are so many things you still needed to teach us and even though you thought none of us needed you anymore- we still do!  You are always in our thoughts!  We love you and miss you!  This has been a really difficult year for all of us!  We still cannot believe that you are gone- it just feels like you went to work or somewhere for a few days and that you will be back home soon.  I wish you were!  We all Love you and Miss you! 

Every time that I remember,
I cannot help but cry,
I think of your smile,
And a tear escapes my eye.

You were my world,
My inspiration and my heart,
But when you left me,
I thought my world would fall apart.

You were my best friend,
The one I could rely upon,
And that's not all you were,
You were my warrior mom.

I didn't think I could live without you,
But you would have wanted me to,
And if there's anyone I want to make happy,
That anyone is you

I would have given anything to have you back,
But I know now that it was meant to be,
For you are still watching from up there,
And I know you're watching me.

I'll make you proud mom,
I'm going to fulfill your wish,
You're going to look down and smile,
I can promise you this.