If anyone truly knows me, they know how much I love Matt. The past year of my life has been extremely difficult. I got pregnant, the father of my then unborn child was put in prison, I lost my apartment, my car, and my job. I went to Macon because my best friend was throwing my babyshower. Matt asked me to come see his new place, and so I did. That night, we watched a whole season of Trailerpark Boys without moving from the couch. He held me tight and kept his hand on my belly, giggling every time he felt a kick. He leaned down and whispered to my belly, " I'm gonna teach you how to play the guitar so you can get all the chicks." He asked me to stay the night, so I did. He held me simply because I think he knew how badly I needed it. He told me he loved me over and over and kissed me on the forehead. "You're gonna be a great mom. Don't worry Paizley." He brought such a wave of peace over me, that I didn't even get sick that night like I always did. He made me breakfast for dinner and set his stove on fire. He gave me vitamins. We spent the next day together as well. I drove us to El Sombrero and he made me turn around so he could talk to a homeless guy under the bridge. He called him by name, gave him his pack of cigarettes and the last 8$ he had in his pocket, ad ten told him to come by Ginger later and he'd feed him. We went to eat and then back to his place. We hung out for a while, but I had to leave the next day for Florida. That was the last time I saw him. But we talked everyday. Matt and I had our ups and downs, but he wanted to come to fl to help me with the baby and live with me. That was the plan. I wish it had happened. I wish I had been able to save him. He was the most beautiful creature I have ever known, and no one will ever love me as much as he did. 

When Matt and I first met, we were 15. We basically became friends instantly. We both came to the first day of school wearing holey jeans and black band t shirts. I walked into a sea of boat shoes, high heels, and khakis, only to sea this curly headed chubby kid sitting in the back. It was love at first sight. We sat together everyday and joked and took pictures and started hanging out after school. I was dating a friend of his at the time, but he never held back telling me he loved me. We acted like siblings but it was always deeper than that. One day Matt came to school boasting and bragging about these three tiny ass chin hairs. "I'm becoming a man." "You guys should be jealous." All day long he kept on and kept on about these hairs and how he was hitting adulthood before anyone else. I told him if he didn't stop talking shit that I was gonna rip those suckers out. "You won't do it." "You're just jealous." All. Day. Long. So after school, our small group of friends went to Porter to hang out. He was still going on about his chin hairs. And I had enough. I always keep my word. I chased him down the road, all the way to Willums front yard, tackled him, sat on his chest, and pulled them. I've never seen him look so defeated. With tears in his eyes, he said "you've stripped me of my manhood." And then he smiled that smile, scooped me up like he always did, and carried me back to the playground. I always remember that story because it was truly the beginning of something beautiful. We had only been friends for a few weeks and we were this comfortable with each other. He was truly one of the most forgiving, loving people I've ever known. Ten years later, there was an epic beard where those three wimpy hairs had been. He told me it was a sign of our friendship, and just like his facial hair, it was beautiful. 

I took my dog Owen out one night to do his business, anyway, he took so long and I got busy playing with my phone or something and completely forgot he was out there.

Fortunately, Matt found him and kept him all night with him and brought him back to me the next morning, He saved me a lot of grief and sadness by his kind act.

Not long after meeting my new next-door neighbor, Matt, I asked him to walk down to the park and throw the frisbee with me. He said "I have no idea how to do that, but for you, buddy, I'll try it."

He didn't undersell his frisbee skills, as his tosses ended up in the creek and in the bushes and everywhere, He would laugh and run after them and then throw it in the bushes again,

What I remember about that day was a young man willing to try something new just to be in the company of someone who needed company. With Matt, it never was about him, always about you. How are you feelin', bud? What have you been up to, man? If you tried to make it about Matt, he was always very grateful and very humble.