ForeverMissed
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Her Life

Missing You February 28th, 2015

February 28, 2015

At 10:46 PM EST, you will be gone for 2 years, on one of your favorite people's birthdays. I am writing my thoughts and memories of not only one person, but two great people who had the best hearts any woman could have in this world. Neither one of you were wealthy in money, but you were very wealthy with love, compassion, and respect for everyone you came in touch with. Happy Birthday Ethel (PeeWee)! You are greatly missed.

Your grandchildren miss you deeply. They talk about you every time we speak. You were a very big part of their lives even if you did not think so. To you, they were your world....the breath you took every few seconds.

Our world here as we have it is not the same since you left. It's like part of my soul was taken. Albeit, I know you are not lying stuck in a bed, deteriorating and slowly leaving us, while you suffer every minute of every day, only having one wish with it being for the pain to dissipate. A lot of people say they would give anything to have their loved one back, however, in reality, I do not think I could. During the time I was caring for you, I also watched you slowly and surely drift away, medicated you just to make your pain bareable. I simply could not be a part of that again. Every day, I want to be able to see you, talk with you, tell you how much I love you, do life differently so I could make yours better. In the end, I realize your soul is better....now.

Jkay struggles everyday of her life......keeping the pain locked away because she thinks that is what she has to do to make it through. She misses you more than you will ever get the chance to know. She loves you how she only knows how to love her mother.....with every ounce of her being. She goes to sleep thinking of you and she wakes up realizing another day has come and she is empty inside.

Eddie doesn't realize you are gone and Jkay and I decided it was best we do not talk about it with him. That boy loves you more than I have seen any son love a mother. He was your baby, your problem child, your miracle from God.
Eventually, I do believe we all will be able to handle your leaving much better than we are now. It is a long and enduring road but a road that has to be traveled. Rest well mother....rest well knowing we all are okay.....damaged, but okay. With all of our hearts and souls....We love you and miss you even more.