missing my mom-mom
Mom-mom,
I wish i could turn back time. I'm wishing i could relive all the great memories our family shared. I'm wishing things were how they were when i was a little girl. We would go all out for holidays and truely enjoyed each others company. We were closer then ever. When did everything change? I think those 6 months we helped you threw your battle, was a time where we all wished we had been that close always. No one's family is perfect by any means..but we have a pretty good one. Theres just a big piece missing, you. No matter what, all of the things that were meant to tear our family apart..in the end it made us that much closer. It's times like these where i miss you more then ever. I'm having a hard time right now. Basically starting over completely. I know you taught me from your own experiences that no battle is too big to fight. I'm trying to be strong like you and keep fighting. I didn't expect my life to end up this way. I wanted isabella to have her parents together. Even though she has a great dad, this isn't how things are supposed to be. I miss MY family. It's hard knowing what she'll go threw and alls i can do is try and make it as normal for her as possible. I just think by losing you i truely can understand how short life can be. It's too short to argue over pointless things. It's definitely too short to let the ones you love slip away. Each trial i go threw makes me appreciate life even more. I know one day all the answers will be laid out in front of me and it'll all make sense. Right now i can't help but ask why. Why aren't you with us. Why aren't jimi and i together..why is everything so hard right now? I'm hoping its all a blessing in disguise. I know i have a locket that allows me to carry you with me everywhere i go..but i wish i could come visit you somewhere. I can't believe it's almost been 3 years since you've left us. I wish you were coming back. I know each day that passes is a day i am closer to seeing you again..in that i am comforted. I love you. I miss you. I pray for you always. Keep watching over isabella and i. Continue to give me the strength to go on and be the best mommy and person i can be. You're my inspiration. Rest easy my beautiful angel.
Love your duckie