ForeverMissed
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"Our death is not an end if we can live on in our children and the younger generation. For they are us; our bodies are only wilted leaves on the tree of life." Albert Einstein 

In life and death Mum you gave our lives meaning.  We are who we are because of you.  We miss you dearly Mum.  What hurt the most about your death Mum is you did not see us become adults and your grandchildren.  You struggled much but had only a few years of life.  My big sister expressed it best when she first learnt of your passing. She lamented “Oh the mother who did not reap rewards of her labour over her children”.  Life is so not fair Mum.  But we can only acknowledge the teacher’s summation of life.  He wrote “In this meaningless life of mine I have seen both of these: a righteous man perishing in his righteousness, and a wicked man living long in his wickedness.    (Ecclesiastes 7:15) 

Sleep your deep sleep darling Mum until we meet to part no more.  Death, where is your sting?  To live in the hearts of those we love is not to die. Life is eternal, and love is immortal, and death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.

  

"Our death is not an end if we can live on in our children and the younger generation. For they are us; our bodies are only wilted leaves on the tree of life." Albert Einstein

 

November 20, 2023
November 20, 2023
It's almost December, your birth month,  when I choose to pay tribute for life lived. That of yours and my babysis resting until the trumpet calls...

Sleep and rest on Mum until we meet to part no more.
December 2, 2022
December 2, 2022
Mama mia, December being your birth month, I now allow myself to make a post about you and Opsy. I am choosing to think of life (you were born) and death (she died!) positively together. But nonetheless, how do we fill a vacuum that is unsolvable? It is well ... to live in the hearts of those we leave behind is not to die.
May 24, 2022
May 24, 2022
A mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take.
December 26, 2021
December 26, 2021
Mama, you joined the world on 26 Dec, Boxing day.

We love and miss you here but you live on in us your children.

Sleep on mum in evergreen peace.
November 22, 2021
November 22, 2021
Mama, I know for certain you are definitely keeping watch if it is true that a dead mother cannot sleep in effect because she has to watch over her child.
November 22, 2021
November 22, 2021
Mummy, whenever I choose to play a Disco playlist, a song I remember you bought the record comes on; then I go back to those days it will be playing in our living room and when we are cruising with it in your car. Donna Summer, I feel love. 

I have this memorial instead of a grave. I stopped myself coming here often and writing all my thoughts knowing I have mixed feelings about this format as simply a one-sided exchange. I have many questions without answers about our life journeys and circumstances. Do our dearly departed see us and hear us but can't communicate with us? 

Culturally, we were taught that a dead mother cannot sleep because in effect she has to watch over her child. You have been gone for over 40 years, but you live on in us your children. The pain of your passing is not diminishing. The vacuum of your absence in our lives is unrecoverable. 

I cannot possibly write every thought, pain and emotional turmoil I have over your loss in our lives. It is the norm to remember dearly departed ones on the anniversary of their deaths and on their birthdays.  I intentionally often ignore the date you died, though it is my memorable one. Your birth date is a continuing celebration for you lived before departing although also tinged with the realisation that we have reached the end, thus not ideal as celebrating marking another year of existence. Being born on Boxing Day, still gives us a celebration day forever, right Mama.

My babysis has been taken and has joined you too. Mother and daughter entombed! And all that is left is more questions. Yet life goes on …. And we are living in hope.

We stay comforted by 1st Thessalonian 13-14 "Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. 14 For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.

Sleep your sleep peacefully on Mum. Sorrow is not forever, love is. 
August 31, 2019
August 31, 2019
Sleep on Mama in peace. Love is forever. I ache for the lost years. God knows.
December 26, 2018
December 26, 2018
Mama mia I celebrate you were born but still don't understand why you were taken so soon! Your memories are comforting. Until we meet to part no more. Amen
August 30, 2016
August 30, 2016
This is the day life changed forever. Sleep your sleep Mama until we meet to part no more.
January 6, 2016
January 6, 2016
Like A Perfect Flower
That Is Just Beyond Your Reach
Gone Too Soon

Born To Amuse, To Inspire, To Delight
Here One Day
Gone One Night!"

Missing you Mama.
September 1, 2013
September 1, 2013
Mama, a daily realisation is death means not seeing and interacting with you! Only God understand the whys in all of its ramifications. Wish this isn 't our portion. Will always carry the hurt but sorrow is not forever love is... Sleep on darling Mum.
August 30, 2011
August 30, 2011
Another year swiftly passed and it still hurt realising death took the physical body away forever. But the memories are always vivid of years given and spent together. Sleep your sleep dear Mama, until we meet to part no more.
August 29, 2010
August 29, 2010
30 years! Three decades without you Mum - long years indeed. Years we have seen a lot, been through a lot, done a lot and certainly grew and learnt much. It hurts living without you Mum, the void is huge. There is comfort only in assurance we have hope for if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him.
August 22, 2010
August 22, 2010
Our heart is turning in the direction of a special love.  The love of the woman whose life was beautiful and worthy of emulation and who created us. Mummy, what we will give to have you back. If only we could do it all over again, we know we will take you twice but we just have to accept you cannot be here to hold our hands like you used to do. We will always be thankful to have known such a gem.

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Recent Tributes
November 20, 2023
November 20, 2023
It's almost December, your birth month,  when I choose to pay tribute for life lived. That of yours and my babysis resting until the trumpet calls...

Sleep and rest on Mum until we meet to part no more.
December 2, 2022
December 2, 2022
Mama mia, December being your birth month, I now allow myself to make a post about you and Opsy. I am choosing to think of life (you were born) and death (she died!) positively together. But nonetheless, how do we fill a vacuum that is unsolvable? It is well ... to live in the hearts of those we leave behind is not to die.
May 24, 2022
May 24, 2022
A mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take.
Recent stories
September 2, 2010

I'm sitting here not knowing what to say or how to start but I do know that I feel your absence, I know that if you were here a lot of things would be ...different. I wish I had memories shared with you but the reality is that we never met.  Mum has told me a lot about you and I feel glad to be a part of your family tree!  I just hope that on the other side we can meet each other, until then I will proudly represent your family and keep you in my heart!

I Love my Mum, Aunties and uncle which means I love you because you gave birth to them and raised them to be who they are today so thank you and rest in peace!

Solomon Onabanjo

My Grandmother

August 29, 2010

My beautiful Grandmother. Where do I start? First let me say how much I love you, from the bottom of my heart, I do. You see most people believe once people pass away they are gone forever, and the fact that I never even got to meet you, some believe I won't grieve. I strongly disagree because you have been in my heart since I can remember, tearful nights come to my memory because I feel like you were taken from me, that being said you still live on in the four children you left behind (Uncle Tokunbo, Aunt Omolara, My Mum Mojisola and Aunt Opemipo).

I believe I know the role you would have taken in my life, you would definitely set me straight and have been a part time disciplinarian but one with good intentions and visible love. I  remember when I went to Nigeria September 2009 almost every family member or family friend kept expressing how much I looked like you, which let me just add was a boost to my ego because you certainly was a stunner! Everybody says so and I see in your pictures.

I was named 'Yejide' which means 'image of the mother'. Rather than the believe that you came back through me, it means I am the image of you! That's very pleasing since I have heard so many good things about you:

1.)Your Generosity

2.) Gentle, Calm Presence

3.)Beauty - In & Out!

4.) Strength

Many of these characteristics I have, so I guess the name 'Yejide' suits me.

I thank God for the way he created you, nobody knows why you had to go early, the way you did but God knows why he lets Life play out the way it does. I will Love you forever & hope to meet you in Heaven, away from this world.

Love, Your Granddaughter, Deborah Oyinkansola Folashade Anuoluwapo Folashade Onabanjo.

Memorable Highlights

August 23, 2010

Loving Caring Mum, my thoughts are sporadically full of memorable highlights:

·        The night you accidentally experienced your gas lamp blew up while I was sitting chatting with you as you tried to replace the canister.  As soon as it lit up with fire, your immediate reaction was to use your body as a shield for me and push me away from the scene.

·         That massive-sized blue headboard bed of yours you allowed us to creep into with you occasionally where you read/tell us bible stories, the big family picture bible with those celestial beings and scary images of Satan with horns; learning songs and being close to you whenever we needed to be.

·         The day you ‘conveniently’ left us stranded in primary school.  You forgot we were in-between drivers and you had agreed to collect us after school.

·        Your creativity – I can picture you cutting and sewing, putting together an outfit you have conjured up in your mind to create.  You only use tailors for sewing complicated items as you are always the one to make it up as you see fit!  Also your ‘gele’ tying ability was an enviable skill.  You were so adept at creating your own specially designed styles which rapidly became trend setting.  I was so amused recently to read about a gentleman who had created a very lucrative business in the USA as a gele tying expert.

·        Your entrepreneurship initiatives, which are trend setting.  Who can forgot the Africa embroideries clothing designs, the Face to Face ‘fruit machines’, ice cream maker machines, restaurant, Lace store etc.

 

·        Outings – I am salivating even now remembering our `suya’ (Obalende Spot) and cinema treats cruising in your Car to Donna Summer ‘I feel Love’ and Bob Marley Redemption songs Album.

 

·         That Christmas you came back from abroad and gave us a speech about exchanging Christmas gifts.  You had bought yourself a card you asked us to sign for you.  We did start soon after to willingly giving you own gifts.  This sounded like something I have done with my own children Mum, when did become you!

 

·         You applying ‘make up (black khol)’ as you get us ready to go out to friends’ birthday parties and remembering the days of hair straighteners.

 

·        How you clothe us!  We are the first to try your clothing/shoes stocks whenever you have sale items and I am sure we definitely wore your profits.  It was more fun for you making us wear the cloths I suppose too. You must also have taught us our unique appreciation show, which is also repeated the day after.  We always enunciate prayer of thankfulness for your deeds: asking God to continue to provide for you, replenishing your pockets so that the money will not cease and not to have civil problems (relevance anyone?)  This actually sounds a lot better in Yoruba)!

 

·         A picture of us shopping at Broad St market for my white outfit for my high school graduation.  You bought me white lace etc.  This I think was my last shopping outing with you before your passing.  And with this I have thought of when I went to collect my WAEC result at the school when the Principal remarked your Mum will be so proud of you and I broke down.

 

·        Telling me you are having a baby for me and showing my sister to me through a balcony window at LUTH as I was not allowed into your room to view her when she was born.  I remember wanting my own baby after our neighbour had a baby and her daughter who I play with will not allowed me to carry hers!

 

·        How you teased me about my boyfriend – you were observant of my moods when I was happy or sad in the relationship as I would come to the decking outside your bedroom window singing love songs matching said mood.  You even connivingly would suggest that my sister intervene when you noticed our ‘breaks’ period.

 

·        Sitting in front of our bedroom door to forcefully observe us clean out our room in tears when you have reached your limit.  You will not leave until it is spick and span and show no concern for our ‘crocodile’ tears.

 

·        Your quirkiness relating to when you intend to go seeking your debtors.  You believe that the first person you see as you walk out must be male and if it happens to be female it means you will not get the money thus altering your plans to go.  You have occasionally action your own plan ensuring our household females are safely ensconced in our rooms and engineered for a male to go outside pretending to be returning back indoors.

 

You also develop tactic of going at dawn of day with some youngsters you will claim needed upkeep money.  However, I don’t know how well these works Mum since many who owes you big actually never paid up even after your death when consulted and promised!

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