How many people can say that their mother was an accomplished athlete? For me, it was something I always took pride in. As a family, we moved several times before I was 18 years of age and each time we did, whether it was to a new part of Hawaii or to a new state, my mother always acclimated beautifully because of her passion for sports and prowess in demonstrating her abilities. 

Whether you found her on the tennis, running to stay in shape, on moving about the soccer field, she was either playing or coaching a team I was on.  As a result, she was quick to make new friends in new places and helped me to do the same.

Mom played tennis practically on a daily basis until she was in her forties. She was always the woman to beat and in truth, the day I finally beat my mom at this sport in my late teens, that was the day I felt like I had finally arrived as an athlete. I always looked up to her and admired her amazing mastery on the court and so resolved to one day rise abover her.

But it wasn't only just her ability to play a sport. It was also her ability to remain calm, cool, and collected while in a match. She never gave any indication of struggling, even when she was down in point value or tired. This was something that I always hoped to master because when I was losing in a match, there were times when I struggled to reassert my confidence. It took me a great deal of time to develop that and I realise that the she taught me that the tried and tested rule of "fake it until you make it." Stay focused on your goal and don't let yourself become distracted with what your opponent or any others are doing. That's how you really win, not just in sports but in life.

My mother truly believed in God although she was categorically unorthodox in many of her practices. Her zest for life and fearless nature raised a few eyebrows along the way but she had an unwavering goodness inherent in her nature that I find surprisingly absent in so many professed religious followers today. 

Her favourite psalm was Pslam 23. In her honour, I just wanted to share this.

Psalm 23 King James Version (KJV)

23 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

Born in the last island kingdom in Polynesia, Henrietta Nau Vete Moss was born on July 20, 1952 in the Kingdom of Tonga. She was one of eight children born to Grandma Tui and Grandpa Netane and was the second youngest. She possessed an unusually free spirit unlike her other siblings who were more inclined to follow the rules and stay out of trouble, or so I was often told.

Her free spirit led her to dream big, to dream of travelling the world and discovering a world of unending possibility. By the time she was in her late teens, she moved to American Samoa where she lived with her Aunty Lavi and Uncle George. It was here in Pago Pago, America Samoa that she fell in love with the then deputy Attorney General Alfred Moss, my father. After a whirlwind start to their romance, they were shortly married. Two years later, I was born.

Following our brief life in American Samoa, we went on to live for about a year in Bellevue, Washington - and finally settled down on the island of Oahu in the Hawaiian islands where we lived for the next eight years. 

In December of 1983, we moved to the San Francisco Bay Area and my parents would remain there until just around 2000. From the Danville, CA they moved up to the Seattle area where my mother lived until her death in 2014.

Although she lived in some truly wonderful places throughout the world, she was fortunate enough to do an extensive amount of travelling throughout her lifetime. Among her favourite places in the world were the mountains of Switzerland and Chiang Mai in Thailand.

“If God brought you to it, God will bring you through it.”

I found this written by my mother on the back of a small, thick stock paper bookmark. The marketing on the front was from a Catholic bookshop in Seattle. These brief scribbles of insight are something I have come to discover in a number of places among her things. She seemingly wrote down many aphorisms and thoughts on anything she could find as if she had to jot it down before she lost the thought. She scribbled inside notebooks, on the back of receipts, on torn pieces of paper, and among the days of her yearly calendars.

It’s funny to think because this is something I do as well. At times, we hear something that just strikes a chord with us and can be experienced in a visceral way. Don’t you feel that sometimes when you hear a phrase a song that just resonates deeply? For some if us, there can be a feeling that these are insights from God and I know for my mother, she believed it was.

To simply express that she was a happy-go–lucky person would be to deny her of the very characteristics which made her so unique. I know that we seek to remember the good times because it gives us strength to move forward and to find a sense of healing. In many of the cases, many of those who have passed on did experience great happiness. My mother was undoubtedly the incarnation of happiness to so many of us.  But she also took her life and therefore, warrants an exploration of numerous dynamics. Ironically, this tragedy has the power to teach us even more about the human heart because it forces us to consider new ideas that we might otherwise turn away from. But the reality is that

As of 2011, the Center for Disease Control revealed that 1 out of 10 people reports experiencing depression while the National Institute of Mental Health reports that depression is “one of the most common mental disorders in the United States.”

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/prevalence/major-depression-among-adults.shtml

Here in the United Kingdom where I currently live, “suicide remains the most common cause of death in men under age 35” according to the Mental Health Foundation.

http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/help-information/mental-health-statistics/suicide/

Depression and suicide strike through all demographics of society however, it wasn’t until recently that we finally began to recognise it as something that was actually a social issue and not a criminal one.  In fact, it was decriminalised in a seemingly modern nation like the United Kingdom with the Suicide Act of 1961. Even in regions like the US it was considered illegal although enforcement of this law was not regularly enforced.

My point? People have suffered in silence for far too long because of the consequences of how society view their behaviour. Depression and suicide were often family secrets quietly swept under the rug of their history and not to be spoken about. But my mother would never want me to be silent because she herself was rarely silent about anything that was true and more importantly, that was hurting so many in our society.

Therefore, we begin the journey to share more about who she was and to honor her for that. But just as our honest memories of those we love are not solely happy ones, they are not solely sad ones either and so hope to find the right balance which brings not only a greater understanding and reverence for life but also celebrates it for all that it truly is – a combination of sunshine and scars.