Dayja and I went by the flea market on Sunday and I saw a man selling peanuts and it reminded me of you so we stopped to try some since the man was aimlessly holding his hand out for us to try.  Until I remembered all them damn peanut shells that I had to vacuum clean up underneath your bed.  I miss you so much grandma I could tell you and talk to you about anything.  You never judged me and always told me you were proud of me in life I never told you but you kept me smiling and going most of the times when I wanted to give up on life and myself because I didn't have Araya. You always told me that I am a hell of a woman for putting the needs of my child's first instead of mine.  Even though I always felt less then. Another mother's day is coming I requested the weekend off who knows if I will get it. I need to go get Araya but we're in quarantine.  I carry you with me daily grandma in my heart and in my thoughts I still cry for you at least twice a month.  I hope it's normal and if it's not I don't care.  When have I been normal anyways... and if they don't like it dog.. rat.. kiss my ass in the famous words of you grandma.  I love you 2. I can see you smiling sometimes and sometimes it makes me so happy, than other times so sad.  You'll always live on grandma I love you! We love you!  ⚘‍‍