Well, it's nearly the end of another year without you here. The world has finally lost the plot completely. You are infinitely better off being out of this cesspit of doom. 
Being without you, some days are easier than others. Today was not an easy day, but it sometimes feels better to have a good old cry about missing you, at least missing you is something to actually cry about. I'm not sure how it works in heaven, but I've asked Jesus to give you a hug from me. Mama and Dada miss you so much too and they long to see you. The Lord has been so good in comforting us through the immense pain we feel. I can only dream of how amazing it will be to see you again one day. I love you. 

You would have turned 40 this year. I often wonder how you would look, what you would do for a living and what your kids would look like. I’d like to think that if you were here, our kids would all hang out and have loads of fun together, just like we did when we were young. Sometimes, we put the sprinklers on in the garden for them to run through and it takes me back to fun summers in Sydenham. 

I miss you more than I can say.