- Date of passing: Jun 28, 2015
|"Only let the moving waters calm down, and the sun and moon will be reflected on the surface of your being."|
“This body is not me; I am not caught in this body, I am life without boundaries, I have never been born and I have never died. Over there the wide ocean and the sky with many galaxies All manifests from the basis of consciousness. Since beginningless time I have always been free. Birth and death are only a door through which we go in and out. Birth and death are only a game of hide-and-seek. So smile to me and take my hand and wave good-bye. Tomorrow we shall meet again or even before. We shall always be meeting again at the true source, Always meeting again on the myriad paths of life.”
― Thích Nhất Hạnh, No Death, No Fear
Hit the Sound button at the top for music. This memorial website was created in memory of our loved one, Paula. We will remember her forever.
"Paula we are going to miss you this Saturday at our Jessie Cates reunion. We all want you to know that you are remembered. You are the first person we try to find. We are so sad you won't be with us. Peace always"
"Oh my sweet friend, I've been trying to find you for years. Im so sad that I missed reconnecting with you after all these years.I'll never forget the day we met, 2nd grade Mrs. Erns class, I was the new girl & you would show me the ropes at St. Paschals... You quickly renamed me "Lizzy" from Elizabeth. From that day on we were inseparable. We planned our field trip outfits together shared Bonnie bell lip gloss, hung out in your music room listening to Kenny Logins, eating cheese & salami talking about our future.. Thinking we were so cool !! We shared marathon chat sessions on the phone. I used to hide under our bar so my parent wouldn't see us talking until midnight on a school night. We'd kiss the bathroom mirror & leave lipstick prints all over it. Eighth grade graduation was so sad since we were going to different high schools.. What would I do without my buddy? Life pulled us apart... But over the years you'd pop into my thoughts & I'd wonder, where in this HUGE world is my ol' buddy? You lived an amazing life my friend better than most, I'm so happy to know you fulfilled your dreams..you will always have a special place in my heart! Your face makes me remember the wonderful childhood & pure friendship we shared.
.. Just 2 weeks ago I was watching my wedding video & there you & your mom were wine glass in hand celebrating my future. Tonight I celebrate you...for being such a kind & genuine friend, cheers Paula!!!(aka wench, I'll never forget that one)"
"Hey PA, so one year on, after our very many chats about me adopting, - on your anniversary- a beautiful, one year old, strong willed, independent baby girl came to my home for the first time- I believe in synchronicity, as I know you do. Miss you, often, and I play our tunes- now, I will play them to Esme and tell her about her brave, strong beautiful auntie- and I will teach her about crystals. Love you, always. Teddy xx"
"One year on and think of you so often. We still miss you and always will"
"I came across the pic of us horseriding and remembered the times you came to visit in SA. I was in Phuket last year and you and Gypsey were not there. You are truly missed ."
Wonderful unforgettable friend ...,
I have been re reading our What's App chats from the last 2 months of your life and reliving those extraordinarily loving times we spent together ; meditating , sharing , philosophising , crying as much in love and joy as sorrow ...& always feeling your light and your wisdom .
You still accompany me in my morning meditation having graduated to being one of my 8 Guardians who bring all that is needed to set up my day .
Last year I planted a Japanese Cherry Tree for you/ me just outside my door ; it is growing wonderfully strong and I'm longing for the blossom to appear .,, next year maybe ( I'll add a photo if I can see how!)...you told me to watch out for birds and butterflies and other carriers of divine messages from you ...I'm watching !! & loving ...always!
X X x"
"To the most amazing human being I've ever known......you will forever be missed. You have always been an inspiration to me and to all those who had the privilege of having you in their lives. I still remember the great times working with you in Penang and the times spent recently in KL during your visa runs.... missing you dearly......"
"I will always remember Paula, how could you ever forget her. I am proud to think I taught her to play bridge, inside eight months! she was good. But then everything about her held good. Miss you.
"Missing you today beautiful lady"
"Happy Birthday Bitch!!!
Thank you for all the memories, I miss you.
I bought some purple flowers in your honor.
Love you always,
Still can't quite adjust to the fact that we will not share another birthday ... be it ours, or my kids.
Or solve the world's problems walking up a hill in the early morning.
In all those wonderful times, it always felt the best was yet to come ... more free time around the corner, to explore and have fun together.
And now that time is here and you had to leave the party so suddenly!
I know in my heart, you and Gyp are at peace, smiling down at us. "Happy Birthday" Missing you girl, like crazy!"
"I met Paula my first quarter at UC Irvine. Many late nights in the computer lab, she would voluntarily help debug my code. Afterward, she often drove a carless me back to my dorm. We didn't run across each other very often after our first year, but when we did, she always saw me before I saw her, probably because she was usually in the middle of a group and I was usually by myself. She didn't just say hi, she would invariably ask some pointed question that let me know she remembered details from conversations months or years earlier.
After we graduated, I knew she went to work for one of the computer companies nearby, but lost track of her after that. Over the years, I even forgot the spelling of her last name. Oddly, one day last April, she popped into my head like we had just spoken the day before. I looked her up online (spelling Ahtye correctly even), saw she ended up in Phuket, reflected on my fond memories of her and left it at that. Perhaps some part of her spirit had already slipped out of her body and reached back to touch an old friend. Today, I had the same feeling and looked her up again, only to see the sad news of her passing last June.
Looking at the pictures and reading the tributes, it's heartwarming to know that if she had to go so soon, she at least lived a full and fulfilling life while she was here. The special way she made me feel so long ago was shared on an even greater scale by so many others. Thanks for remembering me after all these years, Paula."
"Oh dear Paula, I never met you but I have heard so much about you from your sister Kathleen. Kathleen is a very dear old friend of mine whom I worked with at IBM in San Francisco. I had so much fun with her and love her deeply. I remember Kathleen going to see you in Thailand and her rich stories and memories she shared. Your spirit lives on in Kathleen and your entire family. May you sing with the Angels in Heaven and know that someday we will all join you."
"Teddy, are you ready? Was her calling card for our early morning bike rides and her question for every choice vs consequences I talked through with her over the last decade or so. You better be ready she always said. Even in May this year when talking through some life decisions- And i thought I was........ A thousand ( but not enough) dog walks, bike rides, cooking up a storm, pop eyed, games afternoons, wine, fizzy, learning to make scones with my mum, carrot cake(s), swearing at those hills, massages, carb fests, screen printing, fave music playlists, crystals chats n meditations and stories shared and moments treasured. They will last me a lifetime. Today the most beautiful butterfly landed next to me and lingered, I watched a while taking in the beauty, the boldness and courage. Am I ready now? No. But I will be as I have a beautiful bold courageous soul helping me. Love is eternal x"
"paula was one my first friends when moving to thousand oaks in 1980.
she was 16 & i was 20 and we worked at jessie cates restaurant. i was a server and she was a cashier.we even called her "princess"back then when she didn't feel well and got her own stool at the cash register.she would stay after work with the "20-somethings" in the bar beating all her opponents in pac-man.she always liked hanging with an older crowd..i think it might have been because she was the youngest & had to keep up with her older sisters and brothers.we were roommates in '83 in newport beach while she attended UCI..it always amazed me that she would get in her little yellow VW bug at midnight to go use the computer lab..she would be gone all night then go straight to classes.
she always excelled at what she did and loved a challenge more than anyone.she took great glee in challenging others as well.she enjoyed getting me to read "the fountainhead."(i think it was the thickest book she could find) or one time she challenged my husband and i to complete a jigsaw puzzle of a dime..she bet we couldn't do it and we
eventually had to pay up much to her delight! she was proficient at knitting,making bread & cheese(her two loves!)she had the 1st espresso maker around.she was very much into getting her fortune told,reading tea leaves and palms and doing tarot readings.i called her
"the chinese gypsy".i missed her when she left to work abroad;however she always took time to come visit when she was in cali and we always picked up right where we left off.i'm so happy we got to stay with her in the beautiful home she built in phuket..maybe her proudest accomplishment.she was always enthusiastic and supportive of my bead work-sharing the bracelets with her friends and selling them in her cafe..she even taught herself how to bead a purse just for the experience.paula was one of a kind. i am sad that i will never pick up the phone and hear her on the other end saying "wench!"i miss her.
but i am so grateful to have had her in my life."
"Very fortunate to meet you dear Paula your memories I shared with you will last forever, your kindness, love and generosity will never be forgotten! May you rest in peace until we meet again. My condolences to your dear family and may their grief be lessened. Fond love - Minnie Fernandes XX"
"I'm really glad I had a chance to meet Paula. I'm very saddened that she was taken so young. Paula will be greatly missed by all those that love her. May you rest in peace Paula."
"Our happiest memories of Paula go back to 2002 when all three of us were settling into Phuket. She made bread and lunch for us at her spectacular home and came over to eat with us. She never ceased to surprise us with her energy, what with opening and running a coffee shop at Surin, her baking business and announcing that she was training for an Iron Man event. We are deeply saddened by her early passing and will hold the fondest memories of her. Rest in peace, Paula. Peter and Joyotee Smith"
"I feel proud to have known Paula for such a short time only. She wanted to learn Bridge, this easy/interesting but at times difficult card game. Inside eight months she had it covered and I felt she was capable of playing with me in various competitions. Her strength and determination to to learn this game, like so many other things she had undertaken, impressed me completely. A great, sad loss."
"A very special person and friend who has left us too early. Was fortunate to have paid my last respects to her in Bangkok with Susan the day before she left for the US. There was still that glint in her eyes! Have added some "Golden Oldie" pictures of earlier days in Phuket. X"
"Paula was just the most incredible fun. Mexican night in Singapore, and Paula kept sneaking extra tequila to the margarita's with a wink and a laugh, with my Dad never quite knowing what she was up to. She had a glint in her eye and always time to chat. She is lost to the world far too soon. x"
"Like a daughter, definitely a friend , someone to talk about the delights we shared. Bread n muffins like no other , lamb shanks at Kalk Bay and an amazing few days sharing your house . A horse ride never done before or since , bottles of bubbles and always a cook up . A time ended too soon."
"Ah Paula - what a beautiful and caring woman, and a bit naughty too. I see that look in her eye as I scroll down through the photos and it puts me in mind of one particular night when she came for dinner at our house with Misha and Andy. As we said our goodbyes at the end of a long and boozy night Paula turned to my husband Blair, wrapped her arms around him and gave him a lingering kiss - he was into his seventies at the time and I glimpsed a look of sheer pleasure on his face and maybe a little regret that those "woman chasing" years had passed!! Estelle Hunt"
"You will always be loved and remembered by those who cherished your smile, laughter and loving heart. Fear not for those you left behind because for them you will forever be in their hearts taking guidance from your eternal soul."
"Christmas Eve at Bill and Nu's will not be the same without me carving the meat and you saying that I was so good at it you would let me do it. Sorry I left it to you last year, I know you were pissed off with me.
Oh girl, you'll be cooking up a storm wherever you are."
"She was the scariest woman I'd ever met! When I first joined Dell Computer in 1996. Paula headed up the Optiplex line of PCs for Dell Asia Pacific and I had been hired to run marketing. I went to the Penang factory of Dell, where she was based, and I remember walking into her cubicle saying I'd come for some training. She gave me one of those looks and sternly asked "What do you know about PCs?" I was scared - I was sure whatever I knew wasn't going to be enough!
Within a short time, we had become best buddies. Every trip I made from Singapore to the Dell Penang factory, we'd spend time together. Finally we convinced her to relocate to work with Dell in Singapore. So she ended up moving to a converted 'shop house' in Singapore - right next to us!
Each morning I remember Andy banging on the wall of our bedroom (with her bedroom on the other side of the wall) at 6.30am in order to remind her to get up and come to the gym with us. She NEVER spoke in the car on the way to gym - and barely on the way back. Paula was not a morning person!
Andy and I had a great friendship with Paula during the time she spent in Singapore - we did a lot together. She was "the neighbour" - our nickname for her at the time.
And I'll never forget about the grand idea to buy land and build a house in Phuket. We made a couple of trips with her to Phuket during the building stage - when we drank Margaritas at the Rhythm & Beach bar looking across the bay to where her house was to be built.
During Paula's time in Phuket we visited regularly -- never often enough as it was such a stunning place. And we reguarly had visits from Paula whilst we were still living in Singapore and then after moving to New Zealand, she'd visit us here. She came over at harvest which is when we're the busiest on the vineyard. She took it upon herself to cook up a (Mexican) storm and fill our fridge and freezer with food - which kept us well fed all during harvest and for weeks after she left. One year she even joined the harvest team and worked every day for several weeks picking grapes. She did that just after the Ironman Challenge in Australia - she was at the peak of her fitness that year!
The last time she visited us here in New Zealand was just prior to her 50th Birthday - April 2014 - and it was only recently that we consumed the last of the 'freezer' packs of Mexican food from that visit! Andy and I saw her again briefly in Phuket last November and I visited her in April this year in Bangkok.
I am so glad we were able to share so many happy times with Paula and stay in touch although not living in the same country for many years now. My friendship with Paula was as close as I'll ever get to having a sister. I just love her so much and will miss her enormously.
(PS - She wasn't really scary - although she liked to think she was at times! She was one of the most caring people I ever met and one of the very few people in the world that really understands what true friendship is all about.)
Misha (Michele) Wilkinson"
"I only know of Paula through Tim and Silvia. Tim would always speak about Paula with a gentle voice and genuine respect for her many achievements. Silvia simply would say that Paula was an amazing woman. She was truly loved by all and shared her life till the end."
""A Beautiful Delicate Flower"
I remember when I was going to meet you for the first time I was very nervous. Your Bro Tim had spoken about you and I was so worried that you wouldn't like me.. LOL. The day came and when I meet you,
"Ms. Paula", I thought "wow" what a beautiful woman. Princess, you will always have a special place in my heart. I count my blessings that I had the pleasure of meeting you. I will forever treasure the time when you visited the states and you stayed with your us.. Even though I didn't see you that much throughout the years, I always felt as if we knew each other for years. You are now in heaven with my Bro Rene probably telling him to be cool and sharing stories. There won't be day that I won't think of you.
Luv you mucho until we meet again."
Who will I complain to about my sore butt, long run or bad swim during my Ironman training in your honor this year? We started our journey together 6 years ago meeting every Saturday morning to ride hundreds of miles to become Ironwomen. No one but you knew my pain. Yet at 45 you became an Ironwomen.
As the years rolled on, you became my mentor, my big sister, my confidant. You never sugarcoated the truth no matter how much I didn't want to hear it. But I listened and you are still in my head, always will be.
I will miss our rides, our wine connection lunches, our Champagne sunsets, our holidays, our phone calls and text messages. Most of all I will miss you, my sister from another mister.
Rest in peace. Keep the Champagne on ice till we meet again babe. I love you forever.
Love AJ and Nakita xxx"
"My Little Chicken, I called dear Paula, and she loved it. When I first met Paula she was new to town with just me to hang out with. We would drink margaritas at a beach restuarant, Rhythm and Beach. She asked me one day what my plans for the future where, to which I replied, no plans, so when I asked her she didn't know either what she would do. After a bit we both returned back from holidays from our own countries and Paula very excitedly told me she was going to start making bread, and my reply was I'am going to make pie's. The two of us where so excited for our new venturers. This excitement we had in our vains continued for years
Years. To all Paulas family, friends and customers, will miss the best made bread on this earth. Everything that Little Chicken did was the best. Even till the end of her time in Thailand she was still giving it her best shot. I see her house every day as I live near by and I take this as a blessing because I will think about My Little Chicken every single day till the day I join her . RIP"
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