Mom at 'Gotta Get A Bagel', Forest Hills 2013
Phyllis Chodor
  • 86 years old
  • Date of birth: Mar 3, 1930
  • Place of birth:
    New York City, New York, United States
  • Date of passing: May 22, 2016
  • Place of passing:
    Valencia, California, United States
Let the memory of Phyllis be with us forever
This memorial website was created in memory of our loved one, Phyllis Chodor, 86, born on March 3, 1930 and passed away on May 22, 2016. We will remember her forever.
Memorial Tributes
This tribute was added by Joan Abatemarco on 15th June 2016

"I would like to send my sincerest condolences to Blaire and Linda on the loss of your beautiful mom Phyllis. I am from NY and we had many conversations about our beloved New York. I miss your mom and her funny dry sense of humor and her quick wit. She was a most lovely lady and is truly missed. not only by me but also by our mutual friends at Valley Oak's Village. I'm glad that I got to know Phyllis for just a short time, but it was quality time. RIP dear friend."

This tribute was added by Jan Schor on 4th June 2016

"My wonderful Aunt Phyllis.  As close to me as any biological aunt could ever be.  My first memories include you, my mother Elaine's best friend.  I'll be adding stories and memories shortly.  Words just seem so inadequate."

This tribute was added by Linda Wissmath on 3rd June 2016

"In November of 1963 my mother in law moved into a large three bedroom 11th floor apartment with sweeping views of Queens. She lived there for 50 years, almost to the day. Her and her husband raised two children, worked, loved and cried in that home. They made many friends, visited the "city" (often) and were true New Yorkers. We were very grateful when she finally decided to move to California 2 1/2 years ago to be close to us.We also knew what a hard decision it was to leave her friends and life behind. It's odd that sometimes we never think of taking pictures of us with our neighbors and the people we often see on a daily basis. We also thought as Rita did, why isn't there a photo of her and Rita, one of her closest friends? After moving to California she would often talk about the emails and phone calls from friends and family that she had on weekly basis. She stayed in touch with her childhood friend and so many other good friends she made throughout life. She also made many new friends at her new home at Valley Oaks. She loved "game night" on Saturdays not only for "Mexican Train", she mostly loved the conversations and staying out late to share stories from times gone by. If you knew Phyllis you also knew she loved old movies (and BBC Masterpiece Theatre). She loved to read Victorian mystery novels and watch the History channel. She loved Opera and especially Pavarotti! She often listened to classical music. Her favorite flowers were carnations. She was smart, well informed and  disappointed she wasn't going to see the next presidential election. This last year she seemed truly happy (although she didn't always share that). I know this was due to all the friends and family that continued to touch her life. Thank you all for your love and friendship. Please feel free to leave a picture of Rita and Phyllis if you have one! I have some stories that are fun and I'll try to leave them here on the "Story" page over time. Rest in peace, you are missed.

“When we have passed the tests we are sent to Earth to learn, we are allowed to graduate. We are allowed to shed our body, which imprisons our souls.”
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross"

This tribute was added by Stan & Shirley Selman on 29th May 2016

"Hi, My name is Stan Selman and Phyllis Chodor was my sister. She was two years older than I, and since I was the baby of the family she referred to me as her spoiled brat kid brother. Looking back there was a lot of truth in that but she almost never got angry or mad at me. There was one time however when she did, it was when she had Scarlett Fever and the family was quarantined to the apartment and Phyllis was quarantined to her room.Neighbors, friends and relatives would drop off food and toys for Phyllis at out apartment door. Our parents would not let Phyllis have the toys because they would have to be destroyed when she recovered. I helped myself to the toys and put a lot of mileage on them by the time Phyllis recovered. Phyllis did become quite angry with me when she saw the toys given to her had been used extensively by me. As she always did, however,  she got over it quickly because, I think, she really loved her kid brother.
As we got older we drifted apart, Phyllis stayed in touch with the maternal side of the family while I stayed in touch with the paternal side. Thanks to Blaire and Facebook after many years apart we reconnected about three or four years ago. Initially after reconnecting we talked mostly about relatives and what happened to them. After we caught up on that we talked mostly about the present. Phyllis always asked, and wanted to talk about my family, especially my grandchildren. She asked for, and enjoyed the pictures I sent her. She always inquired about the health of my wife Shirley and they did talk occasionally.
Shirley and I both miss her very much and are relieved that her passing was quick and she did not suffer. I think that she is with her Mom and Dad and Son watching a good baseball game and enjoying it."

This tribute was added by Marie Lubell on 29th May 2016

"Dear Blaire
Today was a very sad day for me as Phyllis and I usually phoned each other on Sundays at 1:30 and we would have a 2-4 hour chat on happenings in our lives.
Your Memorial website was beautiful and it made we wish that Phyllis and I had connected sooner in life.
After both of us had retired from PS11 we happened to meet in the neighborhood and exchanged phone numbers.
We had many good times together - going into Manhattan, shopping, seeing films and dining out.  Later on I accompanied her to all her doctor and hospital visits when she was receiving treatments and I admired how stoic she was after each - a real trooper.
We became very good friends and I was very sad to see her move to CA but tried to convince had that this was for the best - as her family was there.
I truly miss Phyllis but consider myself lucky to have had such a wonderful friend.
May she rest in peace.
Marie Lubell"

This tribute was added by Rita & Gino Gianatiempo on 28th May 2016

"The photos are all beautiful memories.  I wish I had one of her and I together but I don't remember taking pictures when we were together.  Your Mom was a beautiful woman both on the inside and out.  Many people thought she was unfriendly because she was stern looking, but being a good friend of hers I know she was so warm.  She had a very rough life and handled all of her problems with strength.  I probably know her whole life history.  We had many, many talks.  She always said I was like her second daughter.
I got very close to her when she had her hip surgery and spent the time in the hospital and Rehab with her.  When she got home I did her shopping and wash and she was always so pleased.  When she could not bend, she would call me to come pick something off her floor, but she did not want to wait long for me to get in there.
After that unfortunately, we had come home from a Christmas Party at the Rehab that I took her too and had to give her the sad news that her son, Jeff had passed.  She was devastated and never wanted me to leave her that night.  We talked for hours.  Her strength was overwhelming.  She stayed strong but her heart always ached.  
The day she came and told me she was moving, we both cried for such a long time.  She didn't want to go.  She asked me to help her pack.  I started on that and never thought I would get finished.  I also had an apartment sale for her, which she enjoyed all the people coming in (half of them to be just nosey).  We had a lot of laughs that night over the sale.
Gino would be called to fix little things and for computer problems.  When that happened, he would say I better go right in because she doesn't like to wait.  She thought he was such a gentleman.  
The morning she was leaving, she came and sat in my house for a few hours and we both cried again.  It was so sad for both of us.
When she got to California, we e-mailed and called and loved talking for a very long time on the phone.  She loved to hear all about my family.
She never met my grandson but always wanted pictures.  
We both missed one another and would always end our communications that we missed and loved one another.  
She would always tell me that you can take the girl out of NY but you can't take NY out of the girl.  
I will miss her and think of her often but I am so happy that she passed peacefully.  She is now with her husband and son and I am sure she is happy.  RIP Phyllis and I will always miss you and love you and cherish the friendship that we had.
Love
Rita"


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This memorial is administered by:

BLAIRE CHODOR
Brad Selman
Jan Schor
Diane Tottrup
David Schor
Linda Wissmath
Marie Lubell
Rita & Gino Gianatiempo
Stan & Shirley Selman
Jan Schor

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