Just 2 more years and you will have been gone as long as you were with us. Time keeps going but I will never stop missing you and longing to see you & hear your voice. I often wonder what life would look like if you weren’t so brutally taken from us. Time has eased the pain but my broken heart will always remail. Love you forever ~Mom

I shared a collage of pictures on FB. Looking at those pictures makes it difficult sometime, knowing no more will ever be added. I try to focus on the time we had with you and the good memories. I took you Birthday off this year. It's always a bit harder day than others. Love you forever.. Mom

It’s the day after Christmas 2023. I thought of you often as we celebrated Christmas with Matt, Malynda, Rylie & Jaxon. You will always be in my heart and on my mind. It’s been a long year for me and I’m looking forward to 2024. Rylie turned 13 in 2023 and Jaxon turned 9. It’s crazy how time flies. You’ve been gone going on 18 years now. Oh, how I wonder what you’d be doing today. Love you forever! ~MOM

Seventeen years ago, also a Monday, was the hardest day of our lives. A week after that horrific crash that broke you from head to toe, we had to say goodbye to you forever. The gloomy, cold, rainy, snowy day today, matches my mood. I took the day off work, but I probably should’ve worked to pass the time more productivity. We are going to go get something to eat at Olive Garden today for our 45th anniversary dinner. I think of you often and love you forever and always ~ Mom.

Happy Birthday in heaven Richard. I can’t believe you would be 37 years old today. I often wonder where you’d be today, as Kenny Chesney’s song goes. Your niece and nephew are getting so big. Rylie will be 13 and Jaxon 9 next month. They are amazing and have learned about you over the years. I actually worked today because a co-worker had her daughter 1 year ago today. I love & miss you more than ever. ~Mom

Today is Easter Sunday. Happy Resurrection day! I don’t really remember our anniversary falling on Easter Sunday before. I do know that 16 years ago, it fell on the day after Easter. That was the saddest day of our lives when Jesus took you home on this day 16 years ago. Much has happened as life goes on with out you, but you are always in our hearts and thoughts. Today is a bit harder and, in this life, we may never know why certain things happen in God’s plan. One fine day we will know. For now, I can face tomorrow because He Lives. Love you always and forever~Mom.

Today we would be celebrating your 36th birthday. It is President’s Day today so I’m home from work. I usually take the day off anyway. Haven’t done much but run a few errands. You are always on my mind but especially today. Happy Birthday in heaven son. Miss you forever and always, Love Mom

15 long years have gone by since we’ve seen your smile or heard your voice. You are missed every hour of every day. This year we stayed home and spent time with Rylie & Jaxon. It was a nice day, especially when the sun was out. Malynda came over in the afternoon & we went for a walk/bike ride. Then Matt came over on his way home from work. We had pizza and hung out for awhile. All in all, it was a very nice day. Always in my heart. Love you forever ~ Mom

Happy 35th birthday son. Another year of celebrating without you. This has been an exceptionally trying year. Malynda had a great idea to send up some balloons and attach what the kids wanted to send.Rylie wanted to send you a letter and Jaxon drew a picture. We signed a card and was going to send them up with balloons, while going sledding.It was very windy and lost a couple of balloons, so things didn’t go as planned. I posted the letters in the gallery. This is the first time we have actually done this. I think about you often and miss you more than words can say and this was indeed a special day. Love you forever ~Mom

Merry Christmas in heaven son. Christmas can be one of the hardest days of the year..well for most years. This has been an extremely hard year since March. I’m glad it’s nearly over but I’m really not sure what the future is going to look like. I know one thing will not change and that’s missing you. Love you forever..Mom

It’s been 14 years since we said our last good-bye’s. I feel like every year it’s pretty much the same thing on this day. I take the day off work and we try to pass the day going somewhere and out to eat for our anniversary. This year we are in a lockdown and have to stay home, except for essentials. So, for the first time, I worked (from home) and we ate leftovers. We didn’t even go to the cemetery. It’s a very sad time in the world because of the COVID-19 pandemic.

You are missed beyond measure and I wish things were different. Your niece and nephew had birthdays last month. Rylie is now 10 years old & Jaxon is 6 years old. They are great kids. Love you forever, MOM.

Happy Birthday in Heaven son. I can’t believe you’ve been gone nearly 14 years and would be 34 now.
As usual, I took the day off work. You are always on my mind, but more so on your birthday. It’s just better to have the day off. Today, we searched for new furniture. We’ve had this stuff for a long time. We did find something, thankfully. We went to Olive Garden for lunch. No cake this year, but I really didn’t want it around here because I do love cake and would eat it up.
Your niece and nephew are growing up fast and now that they live nearby, they ride the bus and catch the bus from here when both Matt & Malynda are working. Rylie is 9 and Jaxon is 5 and they both have birthdays at the end of next month. I wish you could know them, they know you through pictures. I sure wish I had more of those, especially when you were a little older.
Love & miss you forever!! Mom

Happy birthday Richard

The end of another year... 2019. Another year came and went and yet the heartache never leaves. Tomorrow marks the beginning of a new year. A brand new year of memories and hope, and another year without you. It just makes me very sad. I always try to stay positive and focus on the many blessings we have... That brings me to Rylie and Jaxon. They sure are getting big fast and are the biggest joy in our lives. It’s nice that your brother bought a house closer to us, because we do see them a bit more because they catch the bus here some days. I think you would be a very proud uncle. Love you forever, Mom.

Cindy I don’t think I’ve really ever sat down and read all that you have wrote about Ricky. Life can be so unfair and totally suck!! It breaks my heart to know all the pain you have been thur and going thur everyday of your life. And will continue till end of ur time. I’m trying to put in to words thur my tears and u know I’m not really good at writing or expressing my feeling. I guess I should’ve of paid more attention in school. Lol. I just want you to know how bad I feel that u have to go thur this unbelievable pain every day of your life. I’m so sorry I have not reached out to you more then I have so far in our life’s. Cindy we were in separable, best friend, cousins and more. I want to get this back I want to be there for u when you hurt n are sad everyday. I’m going to take my vacation to see my family next May cuz I went 2 times last year and I want more then ever for u and I to spend some good quality and fun times together. As I get older I realize who is important to me and who I want in my life and that is my family. I love u n pray for u to be happier that’s not the right word but I think u know what I’m trying to say. I’m so truly from the bottom of my heart sorry for the pain of losing Ricky. He looked so much like you and I always remember him as a sweet lil guy. I love u Richard ur cuz Donna

When I Lost You
.
I wish I could see you one more time
Come walking through the door
But I know that is impossible
I will hear your voice no more.
I know you can feel my tears
And you don't want me to cry
Yet my heart is broken
Because I can't understand
Why someone so precious had to die.
I pray that God will give me strength
And somehow get me through
As I struggle with this heartache
That came when I lost you.
.
Love you forever and always Mom

I miss you! I love you! You would be (should be) 33 years old today. Sometimes I can't believe how life has changed since you've gone. I just wish you were here! Love you forever! Mom

Christmas 2018 has come and gone and I must say, I am glad it's over. It's a lonely, sad time really. We enjoy spending time with your niece and nephew and their excitement brings back some joy. Oh how I wish you were here. I wonder if you would have kids and all that you'd be doing now. As we approach yet another year without you... it's still unreal sometimes that we will NEVER see you again. Rylie and Jaxon know who you are from your pictures. Speaking of pictures, I sure wish I had more from when you were a bit older. I have to keep using the same couple pictures and make different backgrounds to change it up. Love you forever & always! Mom

Today is cold and gloomy... pretty much how I've felt inside since you passed 12 years ago. A sunny day is nice and makes you feel better, but some feelings will always be there :(  Dad and I went for lunch at Red Lobster as I took the day off from work, as usual. I think I may get out some old pictures and memories this cold gloomy day. Remembering you with love today and always.. Mom

Happy Birthday Richard! You would be 32 years old today.. wow. I can't express my heartache to not have you here to celebrate with you. All we can do is remember our fun times. Maybe we will watch a favorite movie of yours and have some cake. One thing for sure, you are in our hearts today and everyday! Love you forever, Mom.

It's Christmas time again and you're not home... This is our forever truth. Merry Christmas son! As we make cookies and put on the Christmas dinner, it will NEVER be the same again without you. We were blessed to exchange gifts at your brothers and see Rylie and Jaxon open the gifts we got them. Matt got Chinese food for dinner and it was very good. Gone are the days when we had family gatherings on the holidays, as it will just be your dad and I at dinner today. Everyday is hard, but I'm just glad to get through the holidays. You are loved, missed and NEVER forgotten. Love you forever, MOM

Putting the tree up and decorating is always hard. We see all your ornaments from birth to 20. I am so glad we did that but so wish you were hanging them on your tree. Your dad made a decoration for you this year. I HATE we have to go to the cemetery and decorate your graveside. He did a nice job and it's unique. Missing you each and every day, but it's hard around the holidays. I think I need to stop watching the Hallmark channel and the darn sentimental Christmas movies.. haha. Love You Forever, MOM

It's been 11 years since we said our final good buys to you. I remember, like today, it was a sunny warm day on the Monday after Easter. The weather has been similar this weekend but a bit more cloudy today. ⛅️ Our holidays are not the same without you. I wonder what you'd be doing now. I keep busy with work and Max and helping with Rylie and Jax. Still, you are always in my thoughts. Love you forever! ❤️

I am so sorry Cindy. I knew nothing about this until just seeing your post on facebook. I am praying for you and your family and all of your son's friends.

I don't remember if I yet failed to make an entry on your birthday since I started this site. Your birthday was 3 days ago now. It was a hard day, of coarse. I worked all day and had other commitments after. You are and always will be on my mind. I miss you so, so much. Your niece and nephew are getting so grown up. Rylie is amazing as always and Jaxon is developing amazing skills everyday!! You would love them, I know it! Jaxon actually has some of your characteristics.

We have this punishment of missing you everyday of our lives and the one who killed you was paroled and will be released soon. She can go on with her life. I pray she doesn't drop back into her old lifestyle and hurt other innocent people. This isn't a surprise really. She served 10 of her 10-15 year sentence.

This year your dad bought some mint chocolate chip ice cream in your honor and we did have some on your birthday. We know you liked that ice cream.

Love you forever, Mom

This is the 11th Christmas without you. It's still not easy. We miss you everyday. Life goes on and we have happy moments but the heartache of losing you will always be there. I'm blessed to have the memories but even those fade as years go by. I wish we had the technology when you were small like we do now. Maybe I'd have more recorded. Love you forever and always

We said goodbye to you forever on our 28th wedding anniversary. Today is our 38th wedding anniversary. I can't believe it's been 10 years. So many things have changed, and some have not. I still drive the same vehicle and I remember when you would ride with me you'd put the passenger seat back with a mean lean. The next day when Vicki and I would go to lunch she would comment that she knew you rode with me recently. Just a memory that I thought of while writing this.

We all miss and love you today and everyday.

I could've posted this before but it could really be posted everyday.

A Day, A Week, A Lifetime

When I wake up in the morning
I ask myself
How will I get through this day
WITHOUT YOU
As I dress and prepare to start my day
I wonder
How will I go on
WITHOUT YOU
As the day slowly slips away
I remember how you made me laugh
And I smile
WITHOUT YOU
At the end of the day
As I prepare to close my eyes
I know in my HEART
I couldn't have gotten through the day
WITHOUT YOU

Today you would've turned 30 years old. Hard to believe you've been gone almost 10 years. You're always on our mind and in our hearts. Love you forever. Mom.

Merry Christmas in Heaven son. We still miss you everyday and that's not going to change. Times have changed and I wish you were here to enjoy your niece and nephew as they grow up. We will be visiting them a little later. Rylie is as cute and amazing as ever. Jaxon is at a fun age and learning all the time. He reminds me a bit of you is some ways. There's no snow this Christmas and makes it feel even less like Christmas. Love you forever! ~Mom

He will always be your baby boy. Now he is in God's hands!

Cindy, my lifelong friend, a friend so long I can't remember a time NOT knowing you, my friend who has endured so much pain with the loss of Richard. Cindy, your GRACE and FAITH never ceases to amaze me. Today, on the 9th Anniversary of Richard's passing, I hope you know you are loved. Your lives changed forever that sad day. I am grateful for our friendship and blessed beyond belief to call you my friend. I love you.

Another year has come and gone marking the anniversary of your death. Nine years hasn't made it better because you are missed so very much. The years have made it "different" since you're not here. We learn to live with that and be thankful for the blessings in our lives. Speaking of blessings...Your niece, Rylie, and nephew, Jaxon, just celebrated their birthdays at the end of March. Rylie turned 5 already and Jax is 1 now. They are amazing! I often wonder if you would've had kids and what you'd be doing at 29 years old. Love you forever and always!! ~Mom

February 21st, 2015.. this would've been your 29th birthday. I am always missing you, but your birthday is very hard to not be able to share with you. Love you Forever!! Mom

Thinking of you this Valentines weekend. Love you forever....Mom

Lighting this candle just because I miss you! I want to hear you laugh and me laugh at your quick wit. I want a hug... so very bad! Getting ready for Christmas this year has been very hard.. looking at your ornaments, more difficult than usual. It doesn't get easier not seeing you. Love you Forever!

You have a sweet lil nephew now, who is nearly 6 months old already. His name is Jaxon and we call him Jax. You would love your niece and nephew, they are amazing.

I still miss you
As the days and years pass
I still miss you
As the pain of grief softens
I still miss you
As new memories are made
I still miss you
As I smile and laugh
I still miss you
Today and Everyday
I still miss you.

~Tanya L
reposted from www.facebook.com/greiftoolbox

"The Broken Chain"

We little knew that day,
God was going to call your name.
In life we loved you dearly,
In death, we do the same.
It broke our hearts to lose you.
You did not go alone.
For part of us went with you,
The day God called you home.
You left us beautiful memories,
Your love is still our guide.
And although we cannot see you,
You are always at our side.
Our family chain is broken,
And nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one,
The chain will link again.

John 16:33
Psalm 30: 11-12
Genesis 9:13

Wow, it doesn't seem like 8 years. You're an uncle again. Hope the kingdom of heaven is wonderful like the bible says. When my time has come, I hope I have a place in God house so I can see you again. Have an awesome time:)

After 8 years, you are still very much in my daily thoughts. I miss & love you forever and always. Remembering you on your "angelversary" can be bittersweet as we also celebrate our wedding anniversary! We do so with thanksgiving that we had you in our lives for 20 years.

March 10th, 2014 was a very sad day because our dog (Richard's dog) could not use his back legs and we had to have him put down. This was Richards little dog he "rescued" 11 years ago. A pet who we have loved for over 11 years. It was bitter sweet to have to say good bye. Miss you sweet friend… Richard, you now have your dog back.

Today you would’ve been 28 years old. You are missed everyday, but this has been a hard year for me. I am not sure why…. I suppose it’s just because life is slowing down so much and not having you in it anymore is just hard. More time to think, I guess. I will make a cake today and remember you with love… Mom

MY SON

When my youngest son, Richard, was born we were so happy to have a little brother for our other son, Matt, who was 4 years old. We took pictures of Matt holding his baby brother in the hospital. We continued taking pictures of Richard to capture some of his childhood, so he could one day look back at these and remember all the simple things in life that became his childhood. I wrote milestones down in his baby book, so that one day when he had his own baby, he could reflect on what I wrote and maybe see similarities or answers to questions you’re sure to have with a first baby.

Richard will not see these pictures, ever again, to reflect back on his life because his life was cut short at only 20 years of age. One sunny spring afternoon, after finishing his shift at work, he was heading over to a friends house and never made it. He was struck head on by an under aged drunk driver that crossed over the center line traveling nearly 100 mph. I was still at work and so was his dad. My son Matt had attended a friend’s funeral that day. After we got home from work and had dinner, my husband went up to the store to get a pop. He was gone for some time. Later, I found out he had got a call from the friends that Richard never arrived to visit, because they thought it was his car they had seen. My husband went to the scene to see if it was Richard. They had already taken him to the hospital. This was the beginning of our nightmare.

I think of my son everyday. He is the first thing on my mind in the morning and the last person I think about before going to sleep. I remember the good times we shared, like all the Christmas mornings and birthdays. He liked yellow birthday cake with no frosting. I always put frosting on it and he'd complain. The last cake I made for him, I left the frosting off. I remember his smile...it was contagious. He liked animals and after our dogs were gone, we didn't want anymore for a while. Well, Richard "rescued" a little black lab mix puppy and brought him home. I told him not to when I talked to him on the phone, but he said he had to try to find a home for him, because he was afraid they'd take him to the dog pound. I watched this puppy follow Rick around and he was so cute. I fell in love with the puppy and Richard named him Knight. For along time after Richard passed Knight would sit by the steps and wait for Richard to come upstairs. Ricks room was in the basement and Knight was afraid to go down stairs. Rick had to carry him to get him downstairs. That wasn't so easy as Knight grew.

I think of my son when I'm driving home from work. In fact, that was one of the hardest times for me. I thought about how that was all Richard was doing; leaving work for the day, that time of day when you want to kick back and relax until you do it again tomorrow. For Richard, he wouldn't have a tomorrow, in the way we all take for granted.

As time goes on, after reading and adding to this blog, I can say I still feel much the same. Some areas are a little easier, such as my drive home from work. We are blessed with a wonderful son and daughter-in-law that have blessed us with a beautiful granddaughter and soon a new grandson.

2.21.20 - It’s been over 5 years since I’ve added to this. As time goes on and the grandkids get bigger, it does get easier on a day to day basis. However, bad days and extreme sadness can hit anytime. The grief and broken heart will always be there. Happiness died the day my son did and it’s a struggle to have that true feeling of happiness. There are fun times and happy times, for that I’m thankful. I feel extremely blessed to have a son & daughter-in-law that I love very much and they make me so proud. Getting to spend time with my grandkids is priceless and times I will cherish forever!

Another year has come and gone without you in it. Saying goodbye to 2013.. the 8th NYE without you and it's still very hard. I count my blessings but am so sad you can't be here to meet your niece and for the arrival of your nephew in March of next year. Life is just so different these days, but I'm trying.

I lit a candle for you tonight during the World Candle Lighting event promoted by Compassionate Friends. Although it doesn't take these kinds of events to bring you to mind, it does allow me to "do something" for you.

From the Compassionate Friends Facebook page ~

Hours turn into days,
Days turn into years,
The memory of your precious child
NEVER disappears.

You will be with him again.

A reminder to cherish every moment and take nothing for granted. Rest in peace and may your family continue to find comfort knowing you're in a happier place and at peace.

Although I didn't know Richard personally, I know the kind of guy he was through his mothers memories. I know he had two good parents and a brother that loved him very much, and I know he is in Gods loving care.