When my son was born I had a profound sense of my responsibilities to a son just as I did to my daughter. Both of my children are incredibly special but this is about Robbie. Boys are different and it didn’t take long to see him drawn to everything that was boy. My daughter always loved to see her dad come home with a deer and would run and meet me to sweep her in my arms after work. My son took to it in a more direct way, as you might suspect some boys would, and from the time he was just 2-3 years old he deeply wanted to be by my side in everything I did. From the time Robbie was a little boy he had a sweet true spirit about him. Both my kids do as most young children I think. Robbie was called the "little man" when just a baby as I guess he had a certain look to him yet little did we know those words would prove to almost be prophetic. In a nut shell Robbie lived life large. Life was exciting to him and he learned how to dream early yet how to realize those dreams to. To explain how Robbie lived life I feel I need to explain how he was raised. Although I know how a child is raised does NOT solely determine how they will live I believe it always has a affect and on Robbie we think it was on the stronger side of it. From very early it was my responsibility and privilege to put my son to bed each night. This involved me reading to him or telling him hundreds of stories in my own life that seemed to come effortlessly to remember. Every story always ended in a positive light or having conveyed a certain life truth. I am not sure now how I knew how to do this, I now realize much of it had to be the Lord helping me. I read untold numbers of books to him. Sometimes only a page or two and other times for as long as a hour at a time he loved it. Books were chosen that had adventure, history or things that men do or all the above. Books like Moby Dick, Tom Sawyer Adventures, The Great Wild West and great hunting and fishing stories told by the old timers and of course the Bible. When reading him bible stories they were always selected for their adventure or powerful impact. Many of my personal stories were of Gods own hand in my life. The miracles I have seen and been told of as well as the hard lessons lived. I mention this because I believe this helped foster some of Robbie’s passion for life and the heart he had. Not that I’m anything but he was a boy who took it in and allowed it to be a part of him.
To further explain how he lived let me say we truly developed a special relationship. I believe all children are begging for as much love as possible and where its missed so often is with how busy we are and how much TIME we truly spend with THEM. I consider myself very fortunate that I eventually learned that truth and was able to impart so early into his life. I’m getting off track, sorry. The relationship I mention was one that fostered father son. What I mean is there was nothing that my son would not tell me even into his teenage years. That was largely due to the fact I did not try to invade his privacy or try to control everything. In all of Robbie’s years running with his dad we never argued or was tense with each other. I made sure I never embarrassed him and he always respected me highly. I shared my much of my life with him in growing levels as he aged and he understood it. I never had to really get onto him for anything so there was no harshness only respect and love and it worked. I think it doesn’t is when something else is already wrong.
I learned early also that I needed to be concerned how I treated his mother. That I realized would affect him in more ways then I ever had imagined. That how I loved his mother was just as important and not necessarily the same thing. When i realized that my son would learn how to be a man based on what he saw or didn’t see from me living it, it was a game changer for me. This is not about me yet I find it ironic that in order to explain best how Robbie lived I have to explain how he was raised. No blame is intended to any parent and children do go astray regardless of how they were raised but my son didn’t and this is just the way it was with my son. Robbie first went hunting with me and his uncle when he was around 5 or 6. From his first time out I had the strong suspicion he was hooked as being in the woods with the guys just fit him. Ill never forget he could only stand to be out for around 30 minutes but it was a exciting 30 minutes Thankfully as we walked out of the woods near dark we spotted the silhouette of several deer running across the horizon. Without word said Robbie’s immediate reaction was to take off running after them with his toy gun in hand. It was his first exciting hunt and was good enough for him and us. From that point forward to explain how Robbie lived and not mention his love for guns would be wrong. Robbie was blessed by his mothers family in PA as they sent him money for every holiday and Robbie learned quickly how to value it. Robbie was allowed to buy what he wanted when he wanted it. we took a small amount out for his future when he would get a lot but we figured he needed to see first hand that money can buy what you want but when its gone its gone. More then once I let him spend a few hundred dollars on something I knew he wouldn’t want a week later but he had to learn that and he did. I bought Robbie his first real gun when he was about 8-9 years old. It was a youth model 4/10 so he could legally hunt deer. From that time forward Robbie rarely would spend any money on video games or such. What he did do is save and plan his gun purchases which grew and grew as he started to work and earn money. As many know by 16 he owned more guns then i do. Of course he took gun safety courses and learned intently from me at a early age the rules of safe gun handling. He took several advanced combat gun courses with me and had instructors commenting noticing his respect of the sport. Robbie had learned the value of money. One of our favorite shows was always Shark Tank where people would go and pitch their inventions or ideas to wealthy people in hopes of investment. We would all talk about the show together and voice our view of the product or the deal the investors made and Robbie’s insight was truly wise. It was a gift and a learned skill that certainly would of played a roll if he would of lived longer on earth. Robbie loved to shoot to. I built a gun range on our back 3 acres and he loved it. The year before he left us he was completely trusted to go back and shoot when he wanted to. Not a blind trust but a trust he had earned. He loved to ride 4 wheelers or dirt bikes. So many adventures so many stories I can now tell of experiences that all worked to help form who he was. One of his earliest adventures is when i took him and his sister Christa with me down to 900 acres south of Vincennes Indiana to ride our quads. We all had our own as I bought Christa and Robbie small ones early. Robbie’s was just a mini little 40hp but it looked tough and looked fast He and his sister had taken a turn behind me and when i had noticed and turned around and found them they were both standing there waiting on me as Robbie had run his into a large 8 ft corn stalk and it stalled. As I walked towards him with his big race helmet on, suddenly several deer came running out of the field and upon the clearing ran straight into him and literally jumped OVER him while me and Christa watched. He felt privileged he had deer actually jump over him that day. It was a memory among many and a story to tell forever. We all left that day with smiles and love to each other. With all the talk of guns and outdoors I cannot state strong enough that Robbie was a sensitive person. Many associate certain activities men partake of as meaning they need to be tough acting That was not how Robbie was raised or chose to be. Don’t get me wrong anytime it was time to man up Robbie did it yet Robbie had a soft side. He didn’t want animals to suffer needless and loved his and other dogs and always had a sense of caring for those who couldn’t care for themselves. Its one reason I think the older women liked him as he never hesitated to reach out a helping hand. I believe he got most of that from his mother. His mother loving on him his entire life demanded he learn it was just part of it. I often told him when I was going to be gone for a day or so to take care of his mother and sister. It didn’t matter how old Robbie was or if he could really do it. What mattered was he saw himself in that light. As he got older he was recognized by many as having a protective instinct. I only learned after Robbie left us at how he manifested that at school. I’m sure I don’t know often but I did learn how one particular girl who was his very close friend had a little issue with another guy and basically it was Robbie to the rescue. I will let the girl tell us about this if she wants to instead of me mentioning names. I talked to Robbie more then once how to recognize a sweet spirit in a girl and how to treat them and their father when that day came. He didn’t have enough time to practice much of that but Im 100% positive he would of made some girl a great husband. More then once my son helped me help people with car trouble on side of the road as well as with several serious crashes near our home off a major highway cross street. One of the things his mother was always concerned with and would remind him often of was how he needed to keep his heart clear of unforgivness. To forgive quickly and go on. To not sweat the small stuff. We have no idea if that took or it was just his nature but we do know that under all his silliness and joking around he had a sure and solid soft spot for humanity. This is part of why he wanted to be in law enforcement as he knew the power it would provide him to be able to effectively help and serve. The other part of Robbie was in justice. Although not as strong as in his sister Robbie witnessed several times the affects of the bad guys on innocent people. He knew well we would both do whatever it would take to protect the family and knew from my being a reserve officer that law enforcement also stood to protect everyone. As Robbie learned he could affect a greater amount of damage to the lawless by being a federal agent he determined it was the FBI that could allow him to chase and hold accountable those who inflict pain on the many. Yet Robbie had a strong sense that being law enforcement provided no license to in turn be above the law. I know this as i saw his heart holding me accountable to not exceed the speed limit myself. In a world where often people seek law enforcement careers for the power or the attention it brings Robbie had all the right ingredients to be a great officer that is sure. Robbie knew the Lord and knew he had personal responsibility to develop his own relationship with Him. As I prayed with him growing up all the years of his life prior to about age 14 Robbie heard me talk with God both in reverence and as a friend. I knew I needed to recognize my boy was watching me which truthfully had a impact on me maybe more then him. As he reached a certain age around 14 I knew it was time to allow change to occur and I slowly stopped praying with him nightly and instead encouraged him to do so himself. There was a period I wasn’t sure about but would guess he wasn’t. I felt it wrong to pressure him to it although once in awhile I would mention it in a light way to him and he would say, “I know dad”. I started to notice him wanting to make some decisions for himself and I struggled with it. Should I somehow demand he spend personal time etc with the Lord or just wait and let him choose. I don’t feel I can say every child should be handled in such a way but I am very thankful now that is what I did.
In the few months prior to us learning Robbie was sick I can look back now and see multiple ways the Lord knew everything and was preparing us all in little ways on different levels. Several times I would lay in bed and feel strongly impressed to have a little personal talk with him to reemphasize the importance of him developing a relationship with the Lord. So, a few days later I did. I sat by his bed and in our usuasl way told him I needed a few minutes serious conversation. He stopped playing his video game and gave me his attention. I told him of my heart and concern and told him if he didn’t have that relationship built up that one day hardships would come he wouldn’t be ready for and that he was fast approaching a age where it all needed to come from just him and not partially from me. Ill never ever forget that talk as he looked at me calmly after I was finished and said “ Dad, its all okay, I talk to the Lord every night, its okay” and with that he smiled and so did I. I believed him as he never ever gave me any reason to think otherwise. How thankful now I am for that conversation.
I learned after my boys passing how he was perceived as loving the Lord. Many told us how he did and how he gave advise and encouraged them etc. How he would have great times of worship and how he liked a good no argumentative debate regarding certain aspects of Christianity. If anyone has a story or testimony of Robbie’s relationship with God and how you saw it PLEASE tell the story on the tribute first page area. We cherish the hope we will hear from you. Robbie had his plans we learned of how he was going to live with a few buddies in the area, go to IUPUI and get a criminal justice degree and then him and several others were all going for the FBI together to I’m sure change whatever of the world they touched. He wanted to possibly go into another business with me involving armed police patrol of developments in the area. We had many plans together for all kinds of adventures from hunting all over to searching for Bigfoot to mission trips. We had no doubt Robbie would not of moved away from us not because we wouldn’t want him to but because he wouldn’t want to. Robbie and I would love our hunting trips and when he was old enough to go frequent I purchased our own property which always kept us close to my cousin Mark who because we grew up together and are very close Robbie knew him as his Uncle Mark. Because we grew up together Mark and I find it extremely easy to laugh and we always did a lot of. Many many stories of sleeping in a small camper or cabin in middle of woods with cold temps, coyotes howling and the excitement us guys are together made some of the best memories Robbie had I’m sure. We would laugh so hard together we would lose our breath. I think one reason Robbie had his sense of humor was that from the time he was a little boy he witnessed his dad and his uncle laugh often. We mixed it with a little man talk, camping, fires and strategic planning of the next days hunt. Then afterwords we all had our own stories to tell as we would fry some deer on the fire with some pork and beans which, created the night time fireworks for each others enjoyment. LOL Robbie lived life well in every way. There was no part of him that was hidden or that he was ashamed of. He was never bogged down or depressed and really really LOVED his friends and teachers at Horizon Christian School and told me more then once him and the principle Mr Slack were good friends and tight. His earlier principle Mr Onorio was also a main stay favorite as he once told me after asking about pulling Robbie from school to hunt with me and his uncle that he thought it one of the best things I could ever do and that he would likely learn more in some aspects then he could in the classroom. Mr Onorio was exactly right about that at least in Robbie’s case and Robbie of course loved him for it. Robbie found several of his buddies families so comfortable that he felt at home with them and with their acceptance of him. All of these families also had a great part in developing who Robbie was as they added to his life experiences in a wonderful way. I hope me explaining how Robbie was raised helps explain best how he lived. I think to anyone who knew him it will. Remember, Robbie is not gone and neither is anyone else you know who has left this earth believing in what Jesus Christ did for us. Heaven is actually more real then earth is. Heaven is a completion of relationships NOT a end of them. We all will face leaving this earth and we should all be challenged NOW to better understand this reality vs waiting to do so after a loved one leaves us like what we have had to endure. We always believed in heaven but its reality is now 1000 times more real and sure and it is changing our lives. If you knew Robbie then you still know him, and if you go to heaven you will see him again. We don’t change who we are in heaven we only leave our sin nature behind. Friendships and people that touch or impact our lives are destined and desired by God to forever be a part of your life in heaven. Life here needs to count but it needs to count for what matters and not so much for what the moth will eat or rust will destroy or the thief can steal. Keep the faith, Run to win. Live life as full as you can and know its measure will be how you love and treat others as well as your relationship with Christ. I guarantee if you start to research and set your attention on the reality of heaven and the reality we all leave this earth by dieing (except those in the rapture) that it will change how you think, perceive life, what you value and how you will live life. Robbie was taught to live simple with as much love and family backing as possible. The Andy Griffith show where the sheriff Andy Tailor walks along with his young boy Opie along a lakes edge in the care free of the country in a more simple time makes me think about who Robbie was as a little boy. The attached song by country music artist Lee Bice titled "Love like Crazy " is also how he was raised. This is not meant to tribute us his parents but to best reflect who Robbie was and how he lived.
Robbie understood the simple things mattered. He liked friends and laughter and fishing on a bank somewhere. Camp fires, jokes and being involved with things. He loved the outdoors and he loved Horizon and all the people there. He loved the older who took him under their wing and had Bible studies with the group. Robbie loved people and we know, now at this very minute, he continues to do that very thing. I cant wait to see him again and his mother and I wait for the day now viewing life more as a journey to that end.
Lastly I just remembered a great story and a way to best tell everyone how Robbie lived. I honestly think this story will bless anyone who reads it as I know what it did for us.
One of the best ways I can explain to you my sons heart is to tell a story about him when he was little.
He had done something that to our dismay definitely deserved a spanking. I think he carved his name in a door and then lied about it or something. Although we believe a parent should not withhold that degree of punishment we believe it should be a last resort and done in love not anger, controlled not out of control. I don’t think my daughter ever had a spanking but on this day my son was about to get his first. He was sent to his room so I could have time to talk it over with his mother and then decide what should be done. It was crushing my heart deeply to think I had to do that to my little buddy but I knew if I loved him I had to. I wanted to show him in Gods word why punishment for sins was needed and how disciple worked in love to guide us to right living. I wanted to show him that God tells parents if they love their children there are times they should not spare the rod or it will otherwise spoil them. I took a wooded spoon up to use as I had read to never use ones hands that lovingly embraces. I sat down in his room and he sat on my lap and we had one of the close talks we were use to having. He immediately told me with a sincere heart he was sorry and believe me that’s all I needed to call it quits but I honestly felt the love of God coax me to continue. I knew deeply that Gods love was best for him and because I loved him with all of my heart I knew I must continue. After I explained all of what Gods word said about this in as easy understandable ways I could and I told him he had to be punished and receive 3 smacks on his hind end (pants up of course), he started to cry hard and immediately so did I. He didn’t run from me he wrapped his little arms around my neck and hugged me while he cried. I’m crying now just remembering the surreal moment. It broke my heart right down the middle. How in the world could I do this I asked myself. Then suddenly I had a idea. I stopped him from crying and started to talk to him about Jesus. I explained that Jesus loved us so much that He was willing to take our punishment for us and He did. I told him the punishment had to come because the wrong had been done BUT Jesus loving us so much took it for all of us so we didn’t have to. That Jesus didn’t deserve it but His love to us wanted to save us from that. Robbie had stopped crying and was setting with me listening intently. Then I told him that punishment had to come today from what he did because it was very wrong etc YET because I loved him so so much that I would take the punishment for him so he wouldn’t have to have the spankings. At first his eyes lit up with relief then they immediately dropped down again as he started to realize his dad who he loved would have to take the pain. I told him the only way we could do this is he would have to spank me three times and it would have to be hard enough to hurt me and that was the only way it would work. I will never forget the way my precious son broke down and cried. He again wrapped his arms around my neck as he cried out no daddy no, I cant do that, no daddy no please no. We both cried harder then I ever had until the day he left us. I had never felt what I felt that day and words here cannot truly express it. The presence of God was in that room and in our hearts and most importantly in Robbie’s heart. The story ended with him insisting he take the 3 wackes. They were given to him as gently as possible but just enough to hurt a little. They were given with me crying and me telling him I loved him between each one while he stood there and cried. Afterwords we embraced and cried for awhile then we stopped and wiped our noses and bowed our heads holding each other and I prayed. My son Never again needed a spanking or anywhere close. He understood something that day. He understood something happened that day. I think he understood the love of God. That is the best story I can tell to explain how Robbie lived.
I’m sure I will be able to add more to this topic later I apologize for any miss spelling and grammar as I thought this was being corrected or had a checker and it doesn’t so I will need to copy paste and ck it soon. Robert Stalets - Robbie’s Dad