Bobby with wings
Robert Ingram/Benevent
  • 19 years old
  • Date of birth: Sep 20, 1978
  • Date of passing: Oct 4, 1997
Let the memory of Robert be with us forever

This is our story. Oct.4,1997 our beautiful brown eyed Bobby B. was taken from us. He had a smile that would light up a room. Bobby was 19 and went to Shane's house that day. Shane was a friend of his. Sorry I'm getting ahead of myself. A week before this Shane had invited me over to see his new apartment. He had some guns there and I ask him why he thought he needed guns. He said it's to protect me from my homies. I replied Shane if you need to protect yourself against your homies you need to get new homies. He laughed and said Nancy don't trip. Now back to my story. My son Justin and I were at Michelle's house (a friend of Bobby and Justin's) and all the sudden I felt I needed to call Bobby, so I called Bobby's apartment his girlfriend's mom answered I asked for Bob and she said Bobby has been shot. I asked where is he and she said Sutter General Hospital. I hung up the phone told Justin we had to go check on Bobby. I was driving and all the sudden both Justin and I said lets go to Shane's. We were wondering why she was sending us across town when there was a hospital closer. So I drove to Shane's. When I pulled up all I remember was seeing yellow police tape. We got out and an officer asked us who we were I responded I was Bobby's mother. He told me my son had been shot and was at Sutter Roseville Medical Center and that I needed to get there quickly. He asked if Justin could drive and I said I was fine I'll drive. I sped all the way there. Ran inside and asked about my son. Was told someone would be with me soon. As I paced I noticed some of Bobby's friends getting there. I walked up to Josh a friend of Bob's and asked what happened. He told me some cock and bull story of some guy coming into Shane's apartment and trying to rob them. I didn't believe this for a minute and said now tell me what really happened. He said he couldn't but before long I would know what really happened. About that my husband pulled up and we went inside the hospital. A doctor came out from somewhere and asked us to follow him. We went into some room and he said Bobby didn't make it and asked if we would like to see him. As I stood looking at my beautiful son I remember thinking wow it's his body but Bobby's gone. At that moment I knew I would never see my boy again because he no longer needed this body and had gone elsewhere. I kissed him told him I loved him hugged him and we left. We started to drive home and instead of going home we went to a friends house who was Bobby's boss. As we all gathered there Shane walked up to me and asked me if he could talk to me. We went outside and he told me he had accidentally shot and killed Bobby. It took me a minute to understand what he had just said. He said that he had this 380 with no magazine and with 7 kids sitting around his living room he said look Bobby it fires as easy as this and pulled the trigger. He said he didn't know there was a single bullet in the chamber. That bullet went through Bobby's aorta (the main valve to your heart). I looked at him remembering what he had said to me a week ago and said Shane I'm tripping. He knew exactly what I meant and we both cried. A couple of days later my husband and I were talking and realized what a negative situation we were in and wanted to try and get a positive out of this negative. We decided to show all the teenagers that were watching us the power of forgiveness. Knowing Bobby who never held a grudge and always loved his friends I knew that was how he wanted us to handle it. So with over 300 kids in attendance we forgave Shane. It was the hardest thing I will ever do in my life but it was the most rewarding thing I have ever done in my life. If we saved one life that day it was worth it. I know it was what Bobby wanted. What is really tragic about this whole situation is we forgave Shane but Shane hasn't forgiven Shane. He has a woman who has stood by his side through it all they have 4 beautiful children and a big black cloud hanging over them and there is nothing I can do about it.

Memorial Tributes
This tribute was added by Brian Diumenti on 15th October 2014

"I just want to tell you, That I too Share the Pain of a Loss child, It is the most pain any Human can take with out dying.. I am sorry you had to feel it also. I pray every day for all the parents who today will loose their child, that God may be Gentle and give them the comfort to know that we will all meet again!!! is just time separating us now... but have no doubt that our sons are waiting for us Heavens Gates ready for us when we come Home!!! Much
love to you my New Friend."

This tribute was added by Marcie Ogilvie on 5th October 2014

"I am so so sorry this happened to your son! you are such an example to me me of forgiveness. I hope this young man will move past this tragedy!!!  My son was 15 and died of a heart attack. Our lives our forever intertwined!"

This tribute was added by Jocelyn Rodallegas on 5th October 2014

"Bobby and I met through some Mutual friends we we're all hanging out at , when he pulled up with some other friends . we first lade eyes on each other I dident think anything of it  but soon after that we started dating and we eventually moved in together he was my first true love  everything was so perfect  he will Always be forever in my heart  . I can remember that horrible day  when I got a phone call  from his friend about what had happend  I didn't believe him I thought it was a joke I was so  scared it felt like someone took out my heart and stepped on it it's the worst feeling in the world, I have never lost anyone Close to me before bobby you will always be a part of me you taught me so much in such a short time. Miss you Always !!!!"

This tribute was added by Janet Anusavage on 4th October 2014

"Hi, I am so sorry for you loss, I too lost my son, John Robert Lee Anusavage, in 1907.  John had just turned 17 on November 14th, 1997, and died on December 18th, 1997 in a car I read your comments on so many things, I KNOW what you are saying, life if FOREVER changed and all we can do is go on until we see them again..........God Bless you and yours.........."

This tribute was added by Donna Joffrion Webb on 24th September 2014

"This is a very sad but true circumstance.  God will show us a sign before destruction.  If Shane had just listened to you about not needing a gun.  It was a beautiful sight in Heaven and on Earth for you to forgive and move on. Your Bobby would have definitely wanted this.  You have a beautiful heart :)"

This tribute was added by Bradley Tompkins on 24th June 2013

"Bobby and I met when we were 12yrs old. Bobby lived across the street from my apartment complex and 1 day he peered over the fence and saw me and my friends playing baseball, we invited him to play. That day, Bobby and I almost got into a fight and the next day Bobby was the new kid in school at Deterding Elementary. We became good friends from then on. Bobby is still missed and remembered"

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This memorial is administered by:

Nancy Benevent


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