nov19 - Copy
  • 44 years old
  • Date of birth: Aug 10, 1962
  • Place of birth:
    Jacksonville, North Carolina, United States
  • Date of passing: Oct 10, 2006
  • Place of passing:
    Sacramento, California, United States
Tuesday October 10, 2006 was the worst day of my life, the day the world I knew ended.When Bud killed himself, he killed a part of me too.

This memorial website was created in the memory my Son ROBERT CARLSON JR, 44, born on August 10, 1962 and passed away on October 10, 2006. How much I have learned since that horrendous day. The tremendous loss of losing a child to suicide is so overwhelming and brings such intense pain. Each new day I wonder when and if the pain and hurt will ever go away.I've learned to stop asking "why?" that is a question only Bud can answer.Some people said that I'd get over losing my Bud after the first year of holidays, birthdays, ect.and I would be fine. well, guess what-they were wrong. We are going into the seventh year, and I'm not fine and I will never get over losing him. I guess I've reached a" new normal" and I'm going on with life, even though it's the most difficult thing I've ever had to endure. I know I am not alone in my grief, that others have suffered and are suffering. The word "suicide" evokes strong emotional reactions, ranging from fear,anger,shame,blame and guilt to disbelief. Bud was a wonderful man, he was on this earth for 44 years and 2 months, that was not long enough. As parents, we expect our kids to out live us. Statistics on suicide in the U.S.about every 14.6 minutes someone takes his life.I will miss Bud until the day I die, and I know he is only a breath away.You are loved so very much and missed every minute of every day. R.I.P. MY SWEET SON. 

Memorial Tributes
This tribute was added by sue obrien on 10th October 2016

"10 years ago today. Was the worst day of my life when I lost my brother not a day goes by I don't hear a song or just  start thinking of how much I really miss you.   They say in time it gets easier. But It seams just like it happened yesterday I   just try and deal the best I can..  I constantly cry on this day.   I miss you my brother and hope your ok.   I just wish I knew where your ashes are."

This tribute was added by sue obrien on 10th October 2015

"It has been 9 years ago today. You decided to end your life. Not a day goes by I don't hear a song or see velveta  block cheese or marshmallow creme.  And I think of you.  I will forever miss you.  I wish you peace now.  Your big sister. Sue"

This tribute was added by sue obrien on 10th August 2015

"Happy birthday my brother. I miss you"

This tribute was added by mary zelano B on 10th October 2014

"Dear Buddy!
I loved growing up with you and watching all your wild stunts on the mini bikes and go carts! I loved swimming in your pool at night and your crazy ideas to roller skate in the pool!  I loved your zest for risk taking!
I loved how you always greeted me Aunt Mary even though we were only 3 years apart!
I think about you often and miss you so much,Our family has never been the same since you left us! I love you Buddy
Aunt Mary"

This tribute was added by Heather Rogers on 10th August 2014

"Happy Birthday Bud"

This tribute was added by sue obrien on 10th August 2014

"Have a coke today look up in the sky and say Happy birthday bud"

This tribute was added by sue obrien on 10th August 2014

"I miss you bud.  Happy birthday"

This tribute was added by robert carlson on 10th August 2014

"miss you son, love ya"

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