nobody knows what im going through

i need my friend in my life and by my side. i need my friend to put his arm around my shoulder and say hes here if i need someone to talk to and if i ever need a superhero to save me from all my problems. i miss you friend. 

there arent many people you can truly say are real friends. theres always just that one friend that always stayed true to you. was always there for you to care about how your feeling and what your going through most of all very rare you find a friend that took the time to help get you to feel better and sometimes even help solve your personal problems. that i had with you rob. to find another guy friend my right hand even a quarter of who you were would be impossible. for that i thank you for the little time i had with you.

Dear Rob,

2 days ago was the anniversary of the day you were murdered. December 11, 2011. its been almost 7 years since you left from this earth. i guess its still hard for me to get over grieving over the fact that your gone.its so hard to face the fact that you will never come back.  no one understands how hard this is for me or what I am going through inside. of course you do . ill tell ya friend outside i look depressed n sad but inside I am kind of dead too. at least i feel as if I am dead , not myself anymore that is for sure. what happened to you tore my soul apart and broke my heart, and broke me n who i used to be. now here i am 7 years later and as i look at where I am at and i take a good look at the people i surround myself around and i realize how you are the only friend I have ever truly had. you never judged me you were always caring patient and most of all real. i cant say the same about anyone i know  today. what I am trying to say is this.......... rob i am so so very sorry for the way i acted towards you that night at Adams house, I am so sorry for not allowing u to spend the night at Marcus when you were practically begging to stay. I am sorry for being so cold and sounding so hateful towards you. most of all I am sorry for saying what i said before you walked out the door. i did not know that  you would go home and get murdered. For you to get shot and die after i told you to eat shit and die,  it kills me inside and the pain in my heart never goes away.i had no idea that was going to happen to you. I am sorry friend. I am  sorry rob. i wont blame you if you do not forgive me because i don't forgive  myself. i never will. truth of the matter is i know if i just had allowed you to spend the night at Marcus instead of telling you to leave, today you would be alive. I would've prevented you from getting murdered . From the bottom of my heart I'm sorry rob. until we meet again. i love you friend. You will never be forgotten Rob.                                                

                                                       Maria

I REMEMBER HOW I USED TO GO TO ROB MANY TIMES WHEN I WASNT DOING SO WELL IN MY LIFE AT THE TIME. AND EVERYTIME I WENT TO ROB, HE WOULD SOMEHOW MAKE IT ALL BETTER OR ATLEAST MAKE ME FEEL BETTER . ONE EXAMPLE I REMEMBER ONE NIGHT I WAS IN TEARS FIGHTING WITH MY FAMILY SO I WENT TO ROB AND HE SAID COME ON GET UP LETS GO TO DO IT YOURSELF CARWASH AND WE PARKED SOAPED UP HIS CAR AND SAT IN THE CAR AND WE SAT AND HE LISTENED TO ME BABBLING ON AND ON ABOUT MY PROBLEMS ....THEN HE OFFERED TO SING WITH ME AND AFTER A GOOD 2 HOURS , I FELT BETTER . THAT MEANT THE WORLD YO ME. ILL NEVER FORGET THATNIGHT HE WAS THERE FOR ME.