Last week was Aunt Ruth's birthday and the second anniversary of her passing. Sometimes, it seems longer and sometimes, it's as if we came back yesterday from New Zealand to the voice mails from the Saugerties NY Detective.  Those first few days are still a bit of a blur.  The police wouldn't release her documents because of an earlier incident at the cottage and we fumbled trying to figure it all out.  It was extremely upsetting to know a family member was unclaimed in the morgue - so we immediately focused on providing Aunt Ruth with a proper burial.  We were fortunate that Aunt Ruth's close friend knew in which cemetery Julia and Hans Bornemann were buried.  And, so we arranged to bury Aunt Ruth with her parents.  Knowing of her love of all things animals and nature, we chose to read the Prayer of St Francis at her graveside service.  It was a damp and overcast day with some rain sprinkles, but while the priest was speaking, the clouds parted and the sun shined on the cemetery.  It's a scene that will always stay with us.

Just before Christmas that year, Aunt Ruth's dear friends held a lovely memorial service in her honor at a quaint church in Woodstock.  It was very touching to see the small circle of loving friends and neighbors pay their respects and share special moments of their times with Ruth.  And, we were honored to have been invited and learn more about her humanity and kindness towards others.  

At this time of year, we remember her most.  Ruth, Aug and I all share October birthdays.  At the time she passed, she was making out birthday cards to us as we found them on her kitchen table with her calendar and pictures of Wheaten Terriers and Collies.  We had mailed her birthday card from New Zealand as we knew she'd get a kick of the card traveling so far!  

With the leaves changing and acorns falling, we are reminded of her beautiful Thanksgiving tablescapes - done with such artistic vision and creative touches.  They were always so beautiful - and it was something that was mentioned at her memorial service.  She so enjoyed the holidays and delighted in creating things for others.  In her Thanksgiving card to us in 2011, she wrote of attending a large Thanksgiving gathering with good friends at the Mill.  She was also very reflective - "missing those we have lost makes it very bittersweet - family really tugs at the heartstrings this time of year".  Aug's dad passed in June 2011 and her cards that fall hint at a sadness for past times and memories, especially with her parents and Augie & Waltraute. So, we are very glad that her last Thanksgiving was a happy one.

The weather today in Saugerties reminds us very much of the week in which she was laid to rest.  Because of the rain and fog, the natural light wasn't great for pictures - but I know she would have remarked at the "fire" in this beautiful maple tree just down the road from her cottage.

 

The journey regarding Aunt Ruth's estate has come with blessings, challenges and many acts of kindness.  It has been very clear these past few months that there have been angels supporting and assisting Aunt Ruth through the years - and angels at work even as we continue to make decisions for the family.  

Based upon the notes, cards, letters and pictures that Aunt Ruth kept, we know she cherished those closest to her over the years - family, friends and neighbors.  It has been an honor for August and I to spend time meeting and speaking with those that Aunt Ruth considered part of her "inner circle" over the years.  There are also those we have met around town who knew Aunt Ruth casually, but she left an impression and often a kind word or gesture.  We have learned stories about the kindness of her neighbors and her neighbors' parents relationships with her parents - generational stories to be passed down.  And, there was a very small circle of special women who she seemed most fond of in later years.  We are grateful that she found comfort and companionship close to the home she chose after her mother passed; and then after Waltraute passed.

While she clearly remained fiercely independent and very much in control, there are glimmers that she allowed some to help her in very specific ways.  Her calendars are like time capsules - daily routines, outings, etc. spelled out very carefully and with very clear intent. 

However, what continues to challenge us at times is a quest for better understanding as to why she seemed to pull back somewhat from some family, friends and neighbors her last two years.  The calendar isn't as complete or full, the notes and cards to others are alittle more staggered - and in a number of cases, evidence of outright rejection of support or help from those who she previously allowed to help.  There did continue to be a constant stream of cards and notes from those who crossed her life over the years (which she all kept) - and we hope she truly felt and embraced the imprint she left on others.  Many people were open to her, yet we've learned she remained extremely private and shared little back.

As Aug continues to make decisions around her belongings and property, we continue to meet angels willing to lend support and/or help.  It's a very difficult line to walk as we guard her privacy, but still need to provide some information as decisions need to be made.  

I think there have been some very clear signs to guide us.  Aug, the ever pragmatist, scoffs at this notion.  For example, we were challenged finding an appraiser to review the artwork she collected.  Through a connection, we found someone to call.  When he answered the phone, he asked if we could hold on a minute as he was standing in "Bread Alone".  As we waited, I got goose bumps as this was a much frequented spot for Aunt Ruth in Woodstock.  She mentioned it frequently over the years and would bring goodies down to August's parents in NJ from there.  She knew the staff well and some people who left over the years still corresponded with her.  

There have been a number of these things of late - call them coincidence or happenstance, but it seems as if there's been quiet guidance or signs to pave a path through her estate.  Perhaps, it's just comfort for us on the days when the decisions seem hardest.  We scratch our heads, as do others, that a person who kept such copious notes for herself - and had a veritable time capsule of notes and letters from others appears to have decided not to document her final wishes.   Because she appears to have been very intentional in her actions til the end, this remains the biggest mystery of all.

Today's picture is of the beautiful birch tree Aunt Ruth could clearly view from her kitchen table.  

Since we've been spending time at Aunt Ruth's, we have been cautioned by the neighbors to be mindful of the big brown bear that roams the area.  Until this week, we've never seen him/her up close and personal - but now we have!  He/she was much less impressed with us than we were of him/her.  We heard some branches snap and looked through the ferns amd pine trees off in the distance - and there it was standing up on its hind legs and looking around.  He/she then went down on all fours and ever so slowly walked away - never even looked over at us.

This week, we've added some more pictures of the cottage as it looks today - along with the views of the back.  The trees and foliage have definitely grown alot since the early days.  The dogwood in the front needs to be pruned, but we have been cautioned by a neighbor (whose background is Native American Indian) that's its the wrong season - and we need to wait til fall.

We've continued to make progress the past 2 weeks on sorting, organizing and handling items from Aunt Ruth's cottage.  We will continue to provide updates soon.