My amazing, beautiful, funny, full of life mom died on New Years Day from a brain tumor. She died peacefully, and surrounded by family. My mom filled her life with love, laughter, friends and family, and in turn she filled the lives of everyone who knew or loved her. As my children said when describing their Nana "Nana lit up every room she went into, made friends with everyone she met, and was full of jokes and laughter, but at the same time was smart as a whip and incredibly successful. She was a beacon of light to our family. She wasn't afraid of anyone, she stood up for what she believed in, and yes, she bragged about her family to anyone who would listen, but she loved with her whole heart". I agree with my kids, my mom loved with her whole heart. And that love included Germantown Academy. When mom started working at GA in 1969 she had no idea that more than 25 years later she would be leaving behind such amazing memories. She was 38 years old when she started teaching here, a young 38, she would want me to say that and she had already taught at other schools before, including a one room school house in Iowa, but really there was only one school for my mom and that was GA. She grew and blossomed here, just like many of the students do, not necessarily all students as I think my road here at times was a little rocky before I got to the blossoming part. But we both shared a tremendous gratitude towards GA for allowing us to be ourselves, to grow at our own pace and to cultivate our own individualism. My mom was nothing else if she wasn't real and genuine, and GA embraced that, pushed her to continue growing and used her strengths in multiple ways that made her feel special, appreciated and part of this wonderful community. 
My mom always felt that she had a voice here and that her opinion mattered. Many times she used this voice whether it was trying to solve the problems that the lunch ladies were having with kids that were not listening or solving the after school issues of the dreaded bus duty. She wasn't just a person who spoke her mind, she was also the kind of person that wanted to be part of the solution, and had a strong dedication to making things better. I don't think bus duty was a popular duty for most of teachers, including at first my mother, but in the end she loved it. It had all the criteria of a great job for her - she had to interact with tons of different people, organizing an out of control situation and the head master asked her to be in charge, which gave her a great sense of pride, especially when she was successful. This pride stayed with her until late in life. 
My mom loved being a teacher and her students loved her, not always the first week of school as she was also good in controlling a classroom full of bounding energy, but it didn't take long. She was a teacher at heart, and music and the younger kids were her favorite. She took great pride in watching them grow and learn. She made them sing and dance, and everyone in her class danced, probably at first with some reservation, but it wasn't long before everyone was up and moving because she made it ok to not be perfect. She made learning music into a fun adventure. She was also able to read her classroom well and she would sometimes realize that the whole class needed to "burn some energy" and then the class would be filled with movement and dancing. Other times she practiced meditation with them and the whole room laid on the floor with the lights dim practicing deep breathing and relaxation. What a gift she gave those students for later in life. 
My mom fell in love with Germantown Academy's beauty campus. She took such pride in how clean it was and she wasn't alone with this. She walked through the halls like she would walk through her own home, straightening pictures and picking up any piece of trash she found, of course this got her in trouble once when she picked up what she thought was a balloon and gave it to a kindergartner, but that's a story for another time. She was so proud of GA and how beautiful it was that when our relatives came to visit, their trip always included a drive out to GA. This was her school and her pride was palpable  
This is a great segue into what really made this place so special to my mom. It was the people. The amazing teachers and administrative staff in the lower school who became her extended family. I would probably be shocked at how much that group knew about my life growing up, but I honor the closeness and the love that those friendships and relationships yielded. They were there for each other through good days and bad days, through sickness and health, through easy students and tough ones. It was a very strong bond. At the time when I was going to school here, I didn't fully appreciate how rare that is in the work place, but my mom always got it. She knew how lucky she was. She loved being a teacher here and working with such amazing people. It wasn't just the lower school teachers that held this magic for her although that was always her home away from home, it was also the maintenance workers, the kitchen staff, the coaches, the parents, the bus drivers and the school administrators, especially Jim Connor who always held a special place in her heart. She loved you all.  And nothing could have been more fitting or more special to her then when she became part of the class of 1760. That recognition and honor meant the world to her. It was like Germantown Academy recognized all the extra things she did and all the hours and years she put in and said "good job". For her, this was priceless. Her bond with GA so tight that she kept coming back many years after she retired to substitute teach and also work at GA summer camp. She didn't want to let leave. 
  So when my dad was trying to figure out how to honor this amazing women that we love so much and means the world to us, there was only one choice. She would be so very proud to have her name on the wall of the school that was so much more to her then just the place she worked for 25 plus years. Germantown Academy has always been such an important part of her life and now she will always be a part of Germantown Academy. We can not thank you enough for helping us make this possible. I will end with one of her favorite quotes-

"If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together... there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart... I'll always be with you."   -- A.A. Milne 

RUTH
Greeetings:

Frankly, I was nervous when asked to talk a little about my time working with Ruth. I think my hard drive is still in pretty good shape, but my search engine has gotten slower and slower, sometimes finally responding several hours after being called on. We’re going back in time here, more than 40 years ago! So, I made a few calls to some of you and soon I received numerous emails with thoughts from many who remember Ruth as a colleague, student and even some parents of students.

One common belief that was shared is the memory of Ruth as a good person. I decided that I’d look into characteristics of good people. You can imagine that I found many lists – lots of traits. As I sorted through them I realized that Ruth had nailed them all. I also looked into the hallmarks of a good teacher and their again, Ruth modeled most examples. However, Ruth was actually more than a good person and a good teacher – there was something in her overall make up, her gestalt if you will, that was special and that caused colleagues, parents and students alike to express love. This community loved Ruth Aden.

I am not going to cite all of her fine qualities. I am going to try and illustrate a few of them.

I remember first seeing Ruth in the early ‘70s when I was subbing in the lower school. The occasion was a primary assembly in the old lower school assembly area. This space was like a bowling alley with a platform where the pins might be. The then director of the primary division was from the “old school” –literally- and she made it clear that the piano was to be off to the side of the platform. Well when Ruth was leading the children in songs she felt the need to be able to make eye contact with them; she always played the piano standing up. So, when it was time for Ruth’s part, the song would begin with Ruth and the piano in the corner. Then as she was singing and playing she would also be kicking the piano with one foot and jamming it with her wrists so that it would come bucking and swinging across the floor. A Travelling Piano! The effect was a bit burlesquey, but Ruth was as determined as her boss. I hadn’t seen anything like that before and actually not since!

In those days we sang about the wheels on the bus, driving six white horses, or perhaps keeping old king glory on his mountain. The 70’s were marked with innovation and the lower school faculty was busy going to a variety of professional workshops. After the experience we taught one another whatever we learned. Ruth was eager to know more about music education. Sometimes I confess, the rest of us were less eager to participate in her demonstration lessons. However, we had faculty meetings where we, or at least I, lurched around marking one beat with one step and portioning out our ta’s and t’ t’s. Ta Ta te te Ta became synonymous with Mrs. Aden.

Ruth knew children loved putting on shows. Actually, she could be quite a ham herself. She worked at creating 2nd grade’s Carnival of the Animals, 1st’s Play Days, Kindergarten’s Winter Program and I even remember a 3rd grade Production of Little Orphan Annie. She helped the kids to take control and incorporated their ideas into the productions. Can you picture....”Who wants to be Daddy Warbucks?” “Mrs. Aden I don’t want to be in it but my dog could be Sandy.” “Okay, I’ll put you down for the dog.” ....and so the dog came. Each endeavor was original and required hours of her planning, collaborating and adapting. Ruth kept in the background, it was always about supporting the children.

Productions, brings to my mind the Faculty/Parent musicals that we did for a few years. I don’t remember Ruth actually being in any of them, but she did a lot of the coaching and practice, one year helping Bud Kast, Jack Pickering and Sam Jackson learn their parts for a rendition of Can Do from Guys and Dolls. After months of practice they ended up having to add speaking to the singing for what was a unique interpretation. One night, Ruth must have been helping backstage when Allison Murdoch managed to get herself handcuffed to the curtain rope. I have this vision of Ruth holding Allison’s arm with one hand, and the handcuff with the other so that the rope running through the handcuff wouldn’t take of her skin. Many acts and a lot of curtain opening and closing later, the township police finally came and unlocked the cuff. For Ruth, ....all in a day’s work!!!

Ruth loved to laugh. She had a marvelous sense of humor and put her whole self into her laughter often ending red faced with tears running down her cheeks. As one friend put it she was also just a little naïve. She was at her best telling stories about funny things that little kids happened to say or do. She was a good story teller and liked sharing jokes. Sam Serrao, the head of maintenance, delighted in setting her up with good ones. Once heard, she would go on repeating them with the rest of us throughout the day. There was a catch; Sam’s jokes were usually open to a very bawdy interpretation which Ruth usually didn’t get. The hilarity was doubled when Ruth fell into his traps. Eventually someone would explain the full meaning to Ruth. At these times she would become beet red, put her hand over her mouth and whoop!!! She literally shook from head to toe! Like all good humorists she liked it best when the joke was on her!

Kids knew that on their birthdays Mrs. Aden would give them their smacks. Today, this activity would probably be libelous for some reason or another, but here’s how it worked, Ruth would turn the birthday victim over her knee, put her left hand on their butt and then wham her left hand with the right. The kids loved it, pretended to hate it, and eventually distain it, but they never wanted Mrs. Aden to forget their birthdays.

Ruth wore many hats largely because she was a good problem solver and a willing volunteer. When we still had the big playground and the Flyers were going strong, she was commissioned by the kids to come out at recess time and stand at the start of their street hockey games to sing God Bless America a la Kate Smith. The children utilized her as a “go to” for a range of helpful solutions for their needs. They knew they could count on her to be consistent, fun and fair.

Everyone remembers Ruth in one of her major roles as the bus lady. This was a rain, snow, sleet or hail commitment that she made for almost 25 years. State Bussing began a few years after Ruth started at GA. Before bussing the dismissal was calm, orderly, civilized and relatively pleasant. Everything changed when the bussing moved in. Anyone who had to be out there found it grim. The busses came pretty much when they pleased. The drivers, many of them hostile because this was a tack on for them, picked a spot they liked and that’s where they told the kids to come. Some drivers wouldn’t even enter the quad. Parents who still drove continued as they did before weaving in and out of busses as though they weren’t there. The kids all came out at once and scattered; they played in the quad, and dodged between cars and busses. It was bedlam! Various attempts to gain some order went unfulfilled. One afternoon, Jack Pickering who was then acting head of the lower school, was dragged around the quad holding on to the door handle of a parent’s car who was determined to get her kids, her way. After that, he put out a call for someone to develop a strategy to make the place safe. That’s when Ruth became the bus lady. Gradually things got better and better. She could mellow the most miserable bus driver and lots of them became her buddies. Eventually they were swapping stories with her about their children and then later trading pictures of grandchildren. ? After several years Ruth found out that many of the bus drivers all went together on a trip to N.Carolina in August to get their new busses. They told her so much about the fun they had that she hoped to get an invitation some year. Sadly, I don’t think that ever happened.

Ruth was a charmer she was upbeat, positive and resilient. She had as many issues in her life as any of us but she rose above them and was more inclined to worry about someone else’s problems than her own. One morning on the way to school, she was car jacked. Someone bumped her from behind. She jumped out to see about damage and another guy jumped in and drove her car away. “You get lemons, you make lemonade.” Soon we were having personal safety meetings at school, learning to be a little wiser about our comings and goings. She was like a mother hen, routinely checking in on everyone and making sure that all was well. She was never shy about speaking up when she thought something was awry. She generously shared an enthusiasm for life and a positive spirit and she loved episodes and adventure!

Ruth had a big role as the wife of a minister and professor at the Seminary and as the mother of two children. Also, the seminarians and their families became part of her family. She was the traditional housekeeper, wife, mother, hostess with the mostest, etc. – a true multi tasker. She once told me about her compulsion to keep things neat. She was a very early riser in order to get everything done and get to school on time. Leroy on the other hand slept a little later. She explained that she couldn’t leave home with their bed unmade, so she just had to make it with Leroy still in it. I don’t know which was the better trick; Ruth making Leroy into the bed or his figuring out how to get out of it!

For years now, in early June, I begin to get a little nostalgic. I start thinking about those Wednesday mornings in the big gym, where the temperature was hovering around 102 degrees, and fans were blowing so that it sounded like you were on an air boat. Despite the noise, there was never a breath of air stirring. The stands were a blur of blue blazers and smiling faces as the lower school gathered for Final Chapel. I hear those lovely voices singing Cat Stephens’ Morning Has Broken. The sweat poured off of all of us, dripping from chins onto those blue and red ties and every child would be hoping that the word would come soon, BLAZERS OFF! And I picture Ruth’s turn when she would get up to stand behind her piano and with a seemingly imperceptible movement of something like her eyebrow, the whole primary side of the gym would stand in unison. The boards on the stands would rattle and shake when they began ....STAMP, STAMP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP.

If anybody asks me who I am,

These, the youngest children truly felt that they were part of the GA gang. Due in large measure to the sweeping range of Ruth’s encouragement they understood that they were known as individuals and cared about. They became increasingly confident in themselves as learners and they were infused with spirit as significant members of a special school. Ruth’s ongoing guidance during each of their earliest school years helped ensure this.

Ruth Aden, at GA 1969 to 1994, recipient of the Outstanding Teacher Award 1982, and member of the class of 1760, was a marvel and today I am delighted to celebrate all of our time together.

Many Thanks. 

Mom’s Dedication Thank you for being here. My mom loved GA, she loved being a teacher, friend and colleague. She adored her students, their parents and even her time, famous or infamous, as bus monitor. She loved GA because it was family and she loved family – her daughter and son, our spouses, her five remarkable grandchildren and her stunning great-grandchildren -- as well as her GA family. She had a special place in all their lives. Even though we lived relatively far from here when my sons were growing up, my younger son Jesse spent time with her at GA during a few summer sessions. It wasn’t for long but it still had an impact on him. When I asked him about it he said “I am no singer, and I can only play a very simple version of ‘Mary had a Little Lamb’ that my cousin showed me one afternoon. Still, due mainly to the music classes that I took with Nana, I appreciate good music, and all musicians. Nana sang and danced with us, and sparked an interest that I didn't have before. Her love of music was catching. Thank you for dedicating this room to Nana Ruth.” My older son Jason unfortunately didn’t get to spend time with my mom at GA, but he knew how much GA meant to her. He said “Growing up I remember the pride Nana Ruth put into her work with her students. Music was her joy and teaching was her passion -- two of the many qualities I loved and respected about her.”

Unlike my sons or my sister’s children, the great-grandchildren probably won’t articulate many specific memories of her but I’d like to show them to you because I think you’ll see that they reflect her in other ways.
Daniel – He’s the youngest, the only one my mother did not meet, hold and sing to. We’re still learning who he is but we do know that having him around can make everything calmer and happier. And he smiles easily.
Livia – she’s inquisitive and sweet but when she wants something done, you don’t want to get in her way.
Ashley – she has a habit of randomly and without prompting interrupting what she’s doing to come over to you and give you a hug and kiss even when there’s no apparent reason for it.
Liam – he’s sensitive and thoughtful and has been known to wear costumes, some of which might have on occasion embarrassed other members of his family.
Brianna – she loves to dance and has ice blue eyes that twinkle when she makes you laugh which happens often. When any family member arrives, Brianna is openly, ecstatically happy -- and she never wants you to leave.
Chloe is in many ways the center around which others orbit, siblings and adults. She can and does chatter for hours but above everything else she loves having all her family together.
For those of you who knew my mother, I’m sure you can recognize her in them as we do. Because she smiled easily, she could move things out of the way to get something done, she’d give you a hug even when there was no apparent reason, she was known to wear wild costumes, she never wanted you to leave and above all she loved having her family all together. Her grandchildren, great-grandchildren and I’m sure many of her students are a continuing living example of who my mother was.

My mother would have been flattered, humbled and proud that we’re dedicating a music room to her. She would have loved the idea of having a place where children will gather to learn and play music. 

I want to start today with something that Edith Wharton once said,

There are two ways of spreading light: to be
the candle or the mirror that reflects it. 

I never knew a woman who spread as much light as my nana. She was full of light and laughter and love. She lit up every room she walked into. She always saw the best in everyone and loved without limits. She never missed an opportunity to talk to someone, to get to know them and hear about their life and their problems. It didn’t matter to her if she had never met them before, she still cared about them. She lived with an open heart and she touched the lives of countless people in her life, whether they knew her well or not. She had a gift of spreading love that was inspiring to see. 

Nana Ruth spread light in her life. 

When I look back now on the time that I was lucky enough to spend with Nana, for a moment, I am overwhelmed with the sadness of losing her and regret for not having more time with her. I wish I had just one more day, one more moment with her. I can’t believe that the source of so much happiness and light and life has gone and I won’t hear her laugh again or see her smile or feel her warmth in a hug.

But then I remember her laugh and her smile and her hugs and suddenly I don’t feel so alone. I remember her stories and her jokes and her inexhaustible optimism. I remember all of the “Happy Birthdays” she sung to me— and, of course, all of the “and many mores” that she always added on to the end. I remember the car rides to camp, singing Tom Chapin in the car, the Hooters apron that she wore with pride, the countless days we spent together when I was a child and how she helped to raise me. I even remember the little fights we had when I was a kid and we could both be so stubborn. I remember the ice cream we ate together, the hours we spent cuddling, and how she always told us how much she loved us. This is what I try to remember when I think about my amazing nana.

I am so grateful to have been able to grow up in her light and I know I speak for all of us when I say that I will miss her every second of every day. I will never, ever forget her and the impact that she had on my life. I am a better person for having known her. 

Nana was a candle that spread light throughout her life:
and I will strive to be the mirror that reflects her light, and the light she gave to me, back into the world she loved so dear. 

The first lesson I remember my Nana teaching me
was how to eat a string cheese

we were sitting at the wooden table at our old farm house
and she said watch,
step one, she said and she pulled a thin piece of cheese, 
step two, she said and she closed her eyes as she put the cheese in her mouth
step three, she mmmmmmmmd and mmmmmmmmd,

you enjoy it more if you stop and close your eyes and mmm
she said, and then she made me do it just like her

that was my nana.
She enjoyed every little piece of life with everything she had
and she taught me to do the same.  

My nana dressed up in ridiculous costumes when we were growing up.
My mom would say "Mother Goose is coming!
or "There's a ninja turtle in the backyard." and my brother and sister and I would run
to the window and watch her walk all the way around the fence in our backyard
in full costume
to make her entrance.

She would play the piano and sing with us for hours
and then she would let me lay on her chest while she read book after book
and she would act out all the voices and make sound effects and
let me turn the page. 

And when my nana laughed,
she really laughed.
so loud, and more of a squawk
and I must have been about 9 years old when one of her colleagues described her laugh
as sounding like "a rooster in the barnyard stepping on a rusty nail." So my whole life, that's what I've pictured whenever she laughed, and it made me laugh too even if I wasn't sure what was funny. 

My Nana was famous.
Everyone knew Nana Ruth.
They hung up her picture on the wall at Germantown Academy when she retired
and threw her a huge celebration.
They put her in a special chair in front of everyone
and I smiled as I watched and she taught me by example, without every having to say it outright,
that women were born to lead and to captivate,
to love…but to fight if they needed to fight. 

My nana could captivate a room of 6 year olds, or 66 year olds, or of my college friends.
She could make a new friend standing in line for the bathroom or strike up a conversation
with the teller at the bank and drive away knowing his daughters name.  

Everything I did growing up, from school plays to soccer games to band recitals, my nana was there.
She would take pictures and smile from behind the camera.
And everything I did, she was always so proud.
She embarrassed me because she would brag to everyone….from my dentist, to our hairdresser, to the bagger at the grocery store,
she would tell anyone that would listen how great her family was. 

Like many people here, I had a special connection to Nana Ruth and my life was changed by her in ways that are far reaching and deeply rooted. In trying to define what she has meant to my life, words simply fail. And instead, I am flooded with memory after memory of a woman so full of life and love that just being around her made everything instantly better. 

What stands out most of all for me, is how excited my Nana always was to see me and to talk to me. It didn't matter if I had seen her the night before, I could show up at her back door and surprise her and her whole face would light up as she would run to let me in. She'd say oooooooooh i'm so happy that you are here…..let me get you some ice cream.  

I was blessed to grow up with grandparents who were a huge influence in my life and who I saw almost every day. I also had the unusual privilege of living with my Nana and Gramps after graduating from college, first in Clearwater and then in Allentown, and my time with them has been some of the best times in my life. 

I'd wake up some mornings with this weird feeling that someone was watching me, and I'd open my eyes and there was my Nana, just staring at me and smiling. She'd tell me she was making sure I was ok because I wasn't awake yet and she had noooo idea how I could sleep soo long. And I'd roll over and say Nana, it's not even 9AM! 

But I will always remember our breakfasts in the kitchen, and cooking dinner at night followed by chocolate and a bowl or two of ice cream. Whenever I would leave the house, my Nana would watch me from the window and wave and blow me kisses until she couldn't' see me anymore. Literally, every single time. And when I got home, even if it was late at night, she would come out of her room in her nightgown and give me a hug goodnight.  

I will hold these special pieces of her with me always. Her love of life. Her energy and excitement. and her ability to make those she loved feel loved and feel special. 

So thank you Nana. For always being my number 1 fan. For sitting through a million soccer games and driving me to a million practices. For sneaking me 20 dollar bills when Gramps wasn't looking. For always giving me three kisses because you know I can't have just one. For teaching me to love and to forgive and to trust that God has a plan. For making me laugh. And for teaching me to stop and close my eyes and slow down to enjoy each moment. 

You are what I will spend my life trying to become, and if I can be even half the woman you were I will have succeeded.

I was lucky to have two amazing mommas. Two very different, but both named Ruth, both sharing the same bodies, the same smile and amazing laugh, and both filled with love. The first was born in Iowa, went to college in Iowa, and met and married my dad in Iowa. She was the daughter of a Lutheran minister and a beautiful girl from Wisconsin. When my mom was very young, she learned to play the piano and to entertain parishioners. She dreamt of being an actress or joining the circus, but honestly she lived a quiet easy life. She enjoyed being a much older sister to Joan and John. She loved school and friends and went to college a year early because she sailed through her class work. She married my dad and soon became a working wife in Chicago supporting him as he finished his PhD. She loved working and she worked full time which was not the norm when I was growing up and she loved it. She was a great teacher and all of us were proud of her. My mom was a independent strong women who liked everyone and everyone liked her. She was filled with confidence and compassion and always stayed real. She loved to tackle tough problems and was out spoken about situations she felt were unfair, but she didn’t ever have a cause or an issue that took her away from what really mattered and that was her family, her faith and her enjoyment of life. 

As a mom, she didn’t shelter us from reality as she knew that life had ups and downs, but she was always there to listen and give advice. She gave advice all the time, sometimes when we didn’t really want it, but rarely was she wrong. My mom and I were always close, even when I was an adolescent and we didn’t always understand each other, we were close, because no matter what I knew she loved me and that she would always be there. Even deeper, I knew she believed in me and had faith that I was going to be ok. Sometimes it was her faith in me that made the biggest difference in my life.  Our bond became even closer when I had my own kids and realized the depth of all she did for me and my brother and how easy she made it look. She was an amazing mother, teacher and wife, but she was an even better Nana. 

My mom was filled with so much life. She loved being with people, and eating good food. She loved ice-cream and talking. She loved purple and Mardi Gras beads. She was always a teacher, even after she retired. She took care of everyone and did it so well. She was very independent. She was smart and engaging and she filled the room with her smile and laughter. 

My second mom was the women she became after the Alzheimers and after the brain tumor. The Alzheimers stripped her of all her short term memories, and most of her long term ones. She didn’t remember peoples names or what she did the day before. The tumor affected her ability to retrieve words and at times to speak. It took away the thing she was best at - relating to people. She had small moments of complete despair and frustrations because she was very aware of how she was changing and what she was losing, but those were brief. In the last two months as she fought the brain tumor, she did so with grace and style that amazed me. She loved us all like she knew the time was short and she had to fit years of love into just two months. She smiled and laughed and enjoyed food, especially ice-cream with no limitations. She hugged and cuddled and made sure to tell all of us how much she loved us and how wonderful we were. Everything that had been important to her before her illnesses was stripped away from her, and yet she showered us with love and showed us a faith that didn’t falter. Shortly before her death, when the tumor had taken most of her energy and she could do very little but sleep, in a moment of unusual clarity, she grabbed my arm and said to me “Promise me you’ll remember me like I was and not like this.” She knew she wasn’t who she once was or who she wanted to be. She wanted to make sure we remembered the full of life and amazing strong women that we all grew up with and loved. But my second mom was equally as spectacular. She made peace with her lot and she rarely complained. She no longer could take care of the endless chores of living but she trusted us to take care of her and she greatly appreciated even the small things we did for her. She never faltered in her faith in God and the plan she had for her. And she showered us with love and comfort as we slowly said good-bye to her. 

I know my mom is watching over my dad, my kids, my brother and his kids and all of us. She wants us to have amazing lives, to appreciate the small things, to fill our life with things that matter, to love with no limits and to trust in the life we are given. She has taught us not by just her words of wisdom but her lifetime of living even when living became hard and didn’t seem fair. I was lucky to have two amazing mom’s born of the same soul, full of life and love and faith. Today we celebrate this incredible women.

LeRoy, 

Many lovely thoughts have crossed my mind as I recalled the times spent with Ruth at GA and also at gatherings after she retired.  Instead of putting them on the website, I am sending them to you, and a copy to Beth, with my sincere sympathy for your loss.  You and your family are in my prayers.

My first impression of Ruth (fall of 1987) was that she performed miracles with young children.  My son, Ryan, told me music was his favorite class.  He loved the activities Ruth provided for her primary students while teaching them music theory and how to carry a tune.  What a wonderful foundation she gave those youngsters!  The miracles happened on stage – it is truly amazing how she got all of those wiggly little ones to stand still and perform so beautifully.

Next, I remember Ruth as a wonderful colleague.   Her genuine smile and infectious laugh brighten everyday she walked the halls of GA.  Strong-willed students or teachers did not ruffle Ruth.  She stated her ideas calmly and presented her opinions respectfully.  Her wisdom was appreciated by all and usually included a bit of humor.

Personally, I think bus duty is the worst part of any Lower School job description; but for years and years Ruth mastered this task daily… and served as a good-will ambassador to many districts in the process.  She hopped on and off buses at the beginning of the year, making sure every student was being transported home on the correctly numbered vehicle.  Through rainstorms and blustery cold snowy days, Ruth could be counted on to be sure dismissal ran smoothly.  She would stagger into the office after a particularly challenging day, usually laughing because she could always find something positive or funny about even the most trying situations.

Ruth loved to share stories about her children and grandchildren.  They were her pride and joy.  I shall keep them all in my thoughts and prayers as I know they have lost a wonderful person.

Above all, I shall always remember Ruth for the kindness and understanding she exhibited. Ruth gave me an angel (on a metal coin) to keep me safe.  I carried it with me for years and I still cherish that gift.  Now I have a real angel in heaven, Ruth, to look over me.  May she rest in peace.

With love and deepest sympathy, 

 Betty Grant

January 5, 2015

I started writing a note to my parents a little more than a year ago, a couple of years after my Dad spent too much time in intensive care. I started writing it to articulate things I’d been thinking about since my father's hospital stay, intending to let both of my parents know what they meant to me and to my children.

Unfortunately, I never felt I got it right and I lost the opportunity to show it to my Mom.

But now, four days after she passed, I thought about what I’d started and decided to take another look. I still don’t know that I got it right. I don’t know that it expresses the job my parents have done, the way they touched our lives or the beauty of their legacy that continues to grow. I don’t even know if it makes sense to send this now that she is gone but even if I did try to write something else to honor my mother, it would probably be in the context of the two of them together.

They enhanced each other. They made each other better. My father’s successes belonged to my mother and hers belonged to him. They ebbed and flowed together, all the while remaining uniquely themselves.

Following is the note to my parents that my mother never got to see.

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December 2013

To My Mom and Dad,

I’ve thought over the last couple of years about what it was like to grow up in the home and in the family you provided for Beth and me, of the fun we had and the kind of parents you were and continue to be.

One measure of the life you gave us is revealed in the stories we relish telling about our lives -- funny, often silly tales that don’t really tire from brand-new recountings. That doesn’t mean we didn’t have our rough spots -- we did -- but those times seemed to only bend but never break us. And whether I remember the highs, the lows or the in-betweens, a common theme repeats again and again, a gentle backdrop to lives happily led: that we always were and always will be a family.

You provided the basics, of course: good homes to live in, good food to eat, clothes to wear, superior schools to attend. Though one could think of those as “givens,” none of them really should be taken for granted. It takes a lot of work to make a house a home, a routine a life and a collection of individuals a family. 

Of course our lives went well beyond physical survival as we met new people, visited new places and learned new things. We came to know that life could be something truer and larger, something that carries with it fun, a lot of work and perhaps a dash of adventure. We even came to know that by pursuing life we might come to the doorstep of beauty and meaning.   

Through it all you managed a great domestic balancing act: you maintained the constancy of home while encouraging us to use the freedoms we earned to find our own way, to make our own mistakes and, learning from our errors, to do better.

You admirably played the role of parent and you took seriously your responsibilities to work and provide, but that doesn’t mean you forgot the unbridled joy of living. Our exhilarating nightly games of “gotcha last” before bed, your gauze-in-pancakes April Fool’s day tricks, our most prized Christmas gifts wrapped in old newspaper are just some of the very unserious things that I remember and love about our life and how you played your part as parents.

My favorite photograph of Dad has always been and will always be of the time when he grabbed a rope hanging from a large tree and swung goofily behind Beth and me as we posed for a serious, “nice” picture. Flying behind us was the silly, the playful, the ultimate kid joking around. Mom may have sometimes feigned displeasure at Dad’s antics, but she loved the games and more often than not was an active participant, if not an instigator of wonderful parental silliness. One need look no further than her years of ridiculous halloween costumes, proudly worn, to see the real kid who lived behind the adult facade.

You guys were, for me, the epitome of what a Mom and Dad could be: responsible, constant providers that never stopped being incurable pranksters; the best of friends with whom I love spending time and of whom I am very proud.

And whether or not I have ever been any of those things to my children, here is the most important fact: my sons are that kind of parent to their children. 

They are responsible, hardworking and caring. They are playful, silly and goofy. They are alive and bright and their kids love spending time with them and so do I. I’m immensely proud of who they have become and of their wives, their children and their lives.

In every possible sense the parents they are is an expression of your legacy to me, to them, to their children and to the future: your hard work, your care of hearth and home, your responsible parenting wrapped in unbridled playfulness reverberates through the generations to find in them a new wave of parent who are loved by their children.

That is a legacy of which you should be quite appropriately proud.

David

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I’m sorry I never finished it, that I never shared it with my mother. I’m sorry that I never told her directly what she and my father meant to my family and me.

I only hope that she knows how special she was for us and how many people loved her.  

And though we now have lost the reality of her touch, her smile and her unique laugh, a spirit such as hers never dies and the legacy she leaves behind lives on in the laughter and love of her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. 

Uncle LeRoy and Aunt Ruth took us (Jim and Mary from CA) out to their "farm" outside of Allentown, PA to see Beth and kids.  They LOVED it there, as you can see from this photo!

This photo is in our 35th anniversary photo book (110 pages), because it IS LeRoy and Ruth!   

My husband Phil and I were fortunate to meet Ruth and Roy in 2007.  I believe we briefly met them some years earlier in Massachusetts when they visited David, Phyllis, Jason and Jessie.  March 2007; we traveled to Clearwater from Brookline, MA to meet David and Phyllis for an extended weekend.  Ruth and Roy were gracious enough to invite us to stay in one of their condo bedrooms. The weekend was one of my most memorable visits to Florida.  We spent most of the day hours with David and Phyllis, however evenings in the comfortable, inviting, relaxing condo.  Ruth shared many stories of her life with Roy, including stories of her children, each and every grandchild whom she clearly loved dearly.  We had many conversations and laughs, with maybe a glass of wine or two, all the while feeling totally at home and comfortable with my two new favorite people!  We took them out to dinner at PJ's, breakfast at Athens.  They loved playing cards (hearts-I believe) which my husband participated in while I looked on as I conintued to become more acquainted with Ruth. When we returned to MA, she insisted on driving us to the Tampa airport even though she had just done a roundtrip for Phyllis.   I want her family to know how she had a postive affect on me even though I only knew her for a brief moment in her life.  You are most fortunate to have this wonderful, caring, kind, funny, loving woman in your lives. May she rest in peace....she will be missed!  

I've been beyond blessed to have the best nana in the whole world. My heart breaks as you take your long journey. Rest in peace, nana.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqalXOvpvNk
 

Aubrey Aden-Buie 

In the words of another great we lost today: "When you die, it does not mean that you lose to cancer. You beat cancer by how you live, why you live, and in the manner in which you live." -Stuart Scott