ForeverMissed
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Her Life

My lil girl that was born asleep 10/03/09

November 1, 2011

Oh Mother, my Mother

I touch your tears

invisible fingers

soothing your skin

I know you think of me so often

in the day, in the night,

in your dreams

going into an empty room

knowing I'll never be there

but I am....in your heart

in your soul, I shall always be

for you gave so unselfishly

of yourself.

Inside of you, you created

such a world of laughter, of love,

of sadness, of sorrow

every emotion people come to know

you shared with me.

And even though I may never

fell your arms around me

I felt your heart beating,

like a lullaby, singing me to sleep

and your spirit giving me a safe haven

already protecting me

nurturing me

preparing me of things to come.

But sometimes the journey

of life pulls souls apart

and yes, I had to go on

to another place.

I wish I could stay

I wish this was a decision

I could make

and I know you do too.

Know this wherever you are:

I will always remember

that yours was the first love

the first joy, the first soul

I will ever know

you gave me the courage to

go on in my journey

I hope I can do the same for you

your heart beat will always

call me to you.

Love, your child, Serenity Grace Zuniga

for my lil angel Serenity Grace 10/03/2009

November 1, 2011

If I were to pretend

that you never did exist,

that I never felt you kick,

that I never heard your heartbeat,

that I never saw your image on an ultrasound screen...

Would this empty aching feeling depart from my soul?

Or am I destined to spend

the remainder of days

searching for little girls

that are the age you should be right now,

first months, then years or twenty three.

It truly doesn't matter, for you are not here with me.

I know I can't pretend

to break a bond as strong as this.

My daughter, my daughter~

although you only dwelled within

and I had to say good-bye before I ever said hello...

If this be your destiny

that from this earth you were truly meant to go...

I will savor the moments

when I did feel you kick,

when I did hear your heartbeat,

when I saw your image moving on an ultrasound screen...

and know this empty aching feeling

will become a part of me.

Just as your gentle spirit, lives on inside my soul.

I must learn to live with

peacefully,

this is our destiny.

No,

I never could pretend that you never did exist...

for you have shaped my very being,

and I will always be your Mama...

for the bond will not be broken,

not by pain, not tears shed, nor sorrow.

Our time will come...tomorrow.

The letter I wrote for my Serenity's funeral service Oct. 09, 2009

November 1, 2011

I really don't know what to say or how to begin to even say it! Since I found out I was pregnant with my little Serenity I loved her and felt like I had to protect her. The first time I seen her heart beat I knew that she was gonna be my special baby. When she began to move inside me I knew she was so happy. Everyday I would talk to her, sing to her and caress my belly. I know that she felt and heard all of it. We had special and most cherished moments that belongs to only to Serenity and I. The time I had with my daughter was short but I am forever thankful to GOD for giving me anytime at all. Serenity was already loved by her brothers, Miguel, Armando and Roman (baby). Especially her sisters Yaneed and Rocio. Miguel would play music and hold it close to my tummy so Serenity would hear it! Miguel would do this everyday. Armando and Roman would always lay their heads on my tummy and talk to their baby sister. Yaneed and Rocio would lift my shirt and would make farting noises with their mouth on my belly!! This was their ways of loving and playing with heir sister that they never seen. Serenity was so active I don't think she ever had a time where she would be still. I knew she was a very content baby for that reason. You know before my Grandma Ruby passed we were watching a program ans she turned to look at me ans said "Maria you need to hurry up and have that baby so I can hold her!!!" While my Grandma was here with us she did not get that request but my Grandma was the first to hold my little baby girl Serenity in HER arms. I know my angel is with her Great-Grandma Ruby in heaven for all eternity watching down on us. Waiting for us to come home one day. But until that day happened I will always have my little Serenity in my heart and in my thoughts. Now she is my little angel in heaven.

     I just want to say THANKS to everyone for being here to say goodbye to my baby girl. Special thanks to Aunt Diana for being there for me from the beginning and for still being here. I don't know what I would have done without her!!!! Aunt Diana THANK YOU for everything and I LOVE YOU!!! Special thanks to Aunt Belinda for staying at the hospital and for the support that she showed my!!!! THANKS to Tony, Justia, Kathy and Frank, my children and to family and friends for all the support. Thanks to all with much love ALWAYS. ~Maria E. Zuniga