Our families had brunch at Sammy’s Restaurant many times after church, went camping, shared holidays and birthdays.  Our children played together.   We planned House colors, landscaping, holiday cookies and decorations. She always elevated everything to a higher level. If there was “anything” in unset magazine, Sharie could do it! Like a sunroom.  More importantly she was a friend and confidant.  Still the most beautiful person I’ve ever known with an enormous capacity to live and love. 

Shari was a strong, independent, beautiful and loving woman and she raised her daughters (Kerry, my best friend from the age of 12 and Shannon, whom I've always adored as well) to be the same.

I can honestly say that without Shari's influence, I'm not sure we would have our son, Nate. By witnessing the loving bond between my Kerry and her mom and her sister, I was able to see that love knew no bounds. Kerry and Shannon were the sisters I wish I could have had and their connection was one I would have wanted, if I'd had a sister of my own. Kerry and Shari were closer than most mothers and daughters I knew and there were times when I envied that closeness (and still do!). When we were waiting for Nate to come home from Korea, because I had the experience of knowing Shari and Kerry, I had no doubt in my being that Nate would be my son, 100%. That I could love him every bit as much as I loved Hailey and Eli and that they would love him and he would be their baby brother, just as if he had been born into our family. Once Nate was older and we had questions about parenting an adopted child (because there are differences and special situations that arise), I looked to Kerry and her mom for advice. I asked Kerry about how her mom had handled certain things because, in every way I knew, Kerry was comfortable in her skin and had an amazing, confident nature. This, even though Kerry was raised in a small Oregon town with little-to-no access to other adoptees, Korean adoptee role models or Korean culture. Because there was a small university in town, Shari found someone to come and teach Kerry Korean for a short time...until Kerry was no longer interested. But her main focus was on raising Kerry to be a loving, strong, independent and intelligent young woman.

Growing up, Kerry's home and family were my second home and family. I have so many special memories...I feel more connected, in many ways, to Kerry's family than to my own. Some of my favorite times with Kerry were spent rummaging through tiny Avon lipstick samples. Shari was an Avon lady and she was BEAUTIFUL! Her makeup, skin and hair were always gorgeous and I looked to her for beauty secrets and products. There were summer days spent doing manicures and rubbing skin-so-soft lotion into our arms and legs....to keep the mosquitoes at bay while we lounged in the grass in their yard! I can't see an Avon catalogue on a doctor's office table without thinking of Shari. As an independent business woman, I've thought back often, to the warm way Kerry's mom dealt with her customers and the personal notes signed with her name that she sent out. I've tried to maintain relationships with my own customers in the same way.

Shari's meticulous housekeeping was something I always admired! In all the time I spent at Kerry's house growing up, I never saw it messy! Kerry explained her mom's special "card system" for keeping things clean and how she enlisted her family in keeping it up. Now, she WAS a natural clean-freak, so I think that kind of organization came easier to her than it has for me....but she has definitely been my role-model in this department, as well!

This spring, as Kerry was getting ready to graduate from college, Shari's doctor in Mexico discovered a cancerous tumor. Shari decided that she would come up for Kerry's graduation and put off the operation so that she could enjoy this moment with her daughter and spend a few relaxing days with her. I asked if I could take some photos of the two of them, while she was here because I knew it was a special time for them and because, selfishly, I wanted my own nice photos of these two really awesome women that I loved. Because of her illness, Shari was nervous about the photos and nervous about seeing us. She felt she looked awful. I thought she was beautiful and I promised to adjust the coloring in the photos, to take out the yellowish hue that had emerged in her skin. Even though this ugly disease was attacking her body, she stayed strong and positive.

As the sun set on this amazing mother's life, I'm thankful for everything I've been able to learn from her. I know that Shan and Kerry carry with them this strong, amazing woman's spirit and in my ongoing relationship with them, I'll see Shari again and again, as her lovely spirit is reflected in who they are and will be.

Thank you, Shari...for being who you were and sharing yourself with me through your sweet girls!

My cousin, Shari~

I remember as a child in Tucson, AZ when Shari & Jack lived not too far from us.  Shannon was born on my birthday, July 5th; then they were blessed with Kerry & they made the most beautiful little Family!

Shari & Jack moved to Oregon, afterwhich we were able to make regular visits.  Shair's mom, my Aunt Peggy, stayed close to daddy (her bro) & our Family was always close. 

I moved to Oregon in 1981, where Shari & I got closer.  I got to see the family regularly as I worked part-time for Jack & played "baby-sitter" to the girls. :)  When I was in a hit-by-car accident in '82 Shari was so good to care for me. ... she was a God-send, helping when I really needed someone~a good Friend.

When Shari moved to PV, I was able to take my first-ever 'real' vacation to visit her & Antonio;  I was in love with everything Shari showed me!  The first day there, She & Antonio took me on a very thorough tour & introduced me to so many special people there, altho I still don't speak Spanish well & couldn't tell you all their names~when we got back to the house in the eve.I asked Shari what she had said when she introduced me to everyone & Antonia laughed as she said, "I told them, 'This is my cousin, Julie, if you should see her....just make sure she gets home safely."

I was able to see all the wonderful things that Shari had done wtih the time in Mexico; able to see her begin her business~handmaking clothing:dresses, shirts with a beautiful Chili Design on them.  Together we went to visit her artist-friends & to visit an elderly woman in "Buenos Aires" (?)...I still can't remember her name, but I remember how everyone loved Shari.  She had that kind nature & glowing inner strength about her...

I came home from the beach one day & she smiled at me & said, 'What's wrong, you're walking funny?"  I replied, "I burned my chi-chi's..."  & she said, "Those aren't your chi-chi's...these (as she showed me...) are your chi-chi's; THOSE are your pompas!"  :)

I miss you so much!  I remember the day I learned of your illness & my daddy called me directly & I just sobbed...not my Shari!!!  Since then I've grown closer to Pam & Shannon & Kerry & 3 of Shari's Mexi-kitties, which I've adopted.  In this way, I will always be close to you.  And it is only my Faith, in God, in Eternity, that helps me through~but I Thank You, my beautiful Shari, for bringing me back onto the lives of your beautiful girls~now wonderful Women!  They have your strength of Spirit.  & I treasure your kitties, ... Sabado loves his new couch.  :)

I'm sorry it took me so long to come visit you again; I was afraid I couldn't stand the pain of you leaving & missing you all over.  But, I'm here...

Forever!

~Julie, 'with the Beautiful ears'

My cousin Shari and I grew up together in Oregon.  We were close.  Our mothers were sisters, and our families got together often for Sunday dinners, holidays, and weekends at the beach.  We both loved dolls, clothes, Christmas, acting out skits, Elvis, American Bandstand, and visiting our other cousins in Utah. /

While Shari's family always seemed to have fun, they had a tough time during Shari's childhood, while her Dad was trying to get through dental school.. They didn't have much money, and had to move often when they couldn't pay the rent.  But Shari never complained even tho' she must have had to change schools frequently. Each time they moved to a new home, Shari would plant a flower garden.  It seemed like she was always trying to create a sense of home. She definitely had the artist's eye and a sense of beauty and an optimistic nature.. 

After we grew up and started families, we didn't see each other as often.  But when she moved to Puerto Vallarta, we started corresponding regularly. She seemed very happy and accomplished in her new life. She invited me to visit and I was planning to go sometime next year.  I will forever mourn her passing, and regret that I didn't get to see her lovely home and yard. Most of all I am sad because I wanted to see her again. She was a beautiful, vibrant, sensitive, intelligent, talented and independant woman. As a mother, she seemed so very proud of her two daughters' accomplishments. I miss her greatly, and treasure the memories.

Sandra Lafky Carlson

It was 1960, maybe July.  An incredibly beautiful, petite brunette bought a sno-cone from me.  I couldn't let go of her hand when I gave her change.  I never imagined that in March of 2006, I would kiss her goodbye for the last time.  Even when she was angry at me, we still had time for each other:  she never held on to anger.  I hope that she knows that she was truly, truly loved.