I've missed you for a long time now.  When life called me to Colorado in 2005, I was no longer able to keep up our daily ritual of walking, jogging, hiking and carrying on our daily girlfriend time.  This was a great loss for me.  We spent cherished years together listening and sharing the intricacies of family life and being unconditionally supportive of one another and each other's family.  There was nothing and no one who was more loved and cherished than our families to both of us.  Shellye's family felt like my own and I always felt so welcome in their home.  The summer before I left, I spent a couple of weeks with Shellye, Pete, Shay and Alex at the beach. .  I laughed till I cried daily.   I remember Shellye's crazy obsession with watching Emeril Lagasse and his cooking show.  Shellye actually tuned in at the beach.  She knew I had little to no cooking skills so I think this was her subtle (yes, she could be subtle) way of nudging me to take notice and maybe learn a thing or two.  Shellye was my best friend.  It is said that if you can count on one hand the number of true friends you have in your lifetime, you are blessed.  I was blessed.  

I'm thinking that on another level, we can be closer now.  I'm paying attention Shellye!  Come see me in my dreams.  I love you and will forever.    Till we meet again, cheers my beloved friend.  You matter.

My heart goes out to Pete, Shay and Alex.  Thank you for sharing your beautiful Shellye with me.  

xoxo,
Suzaine 

Shellye and Shay were obsessed with their family pets, the ferrets.  I remember being over at Shay's house one weekend night, getting all dolled up to go out.  Shay knew how freaked out I was about the ferrets but decided it was a good time to let them roam around the house.  The cage at the time was in the living room and Shellye was watching TV.  As I was leaning over the sink with my feet on the ground putting on makeup, one of the ferrets crawled out of the vanity drawer and plopped right onto my foot.  Since I was already on edge wondering where the ferrets were in the house, I screamed bloody murder.  As Shay laughed her ass off (per usual), Shellye called out from the living room, "DON'T BE SUCH A BABY!" (in her New York accent).   Shellye always made me and our friends feel comfortable at their home.  We came and went as we pleased, but always found time to talk with Shellye and laugh with her at the kitchen table.  Shellye's eyes beamed with love for Shay, Alex and Pete, and I feel blessed to have known such a caring, loving and hilarious woman like Shellye.

You will always be in my heart! 

I dont have the words...but i do the memories. They are sweet, funny and everlasting.

Shellye once told me to look in the mirror before I go out and if nothing stands out, then I need to add something glitzy and beautiful because everyone needs to have a “wow factor.” Shellye has been and will forever be my WOW FACTOR inspiration. After reading all the wonderful tributes, I realize Shellye has been a wow factor to many people. What an incredible woman!!! I had the honor of caring for Shellye from 2010-2013. Thank you Pete, Shay, Alex and Jane for sharing your dear, sweet Shellye with me and trusting me to care for her. And thank you all for being there for Shellye in so many courageous ways. What a strong family.

Shellye  was so gracious and loving to remain my friend when I couldn’t be her caregiver anymore...that takes a lot of kindness. I hope to pass on the kindness she showed me to others in my life. I wish I had been a better friend to Shellye and had visited her more often. I am really going to miss her. I didn't know it then, but caring for Shellye in 2010 was a game changer for me. She taught me A LOT! And continues to teach me about life through the memory of her extraordinary example. 

There are a million little things that make me think of Shellye on a regular basis. Mostly things that make me laugh or smile! She had a contagious laugh and a fun, bold, happy personality! She was really special. Many people would have stopped caring about their appearance or even getting out of bed, but Shelly always looked so lovely and put together. She showed up for life every step of the way. I have so much respect and admiration for her. She was also an inspiration in the way she cared for others. We must have spent hours looking online for just the right bathrobe for Pete one Christmas and it wasn’t easy for her to sit up then. Shellye also always had gifts ready for anyone who visited her around the holidays… talk about selfless. She was a giver and a happy receiver...not many people are both. She loved a pretty bouquet of flowers, a note in the mail, a foot rub, a delicious treat when friends and family stopped by. She really knew how to enjoy the precious gift of life.

I visited Shellye just before Christmas and was talking to her about my upcoming wedding this Spring. She told me she would be there which made my day! I reminded her that she said she would get up and dance if she ever heard Leon Russell singing Delta Lady again. I told her I would make sure it played at my wedding. Now, the angel that she is can dance to her heart’s content among the stars. Her beautiful smile will forever be in my memory as one of the most wonderful sights I have seen. Shellye was truly amazing and I am blessed to have known her. Pete, Shay, Alex and Jane, you are in my prayers.

With Love,
Lindsay  

https://youtu.be/YLBv7dNkl3A 

Mark and I were allways fighting and getting in trouble.

Shellye, the angel, got whatever she wanted to keep quiet.

The keeping quiet part ended not too long after, and she still got whatever she wanted.

I loved them both.

Its not supposed to be this way...

Russell

We lost a dear friend this week after a 9-year battle with ALS.  She was the definition and image of “vibrant,” and with every day, this rotten disease took one more physical thing away from her.  But it never took her spirit, her determination or the quickness of her wit.  And most certainly, it never affected her ability to love each one of us deeply. She never cared to be asked about how she was doing.  She wanted to know how I was doing, how my kids were faring, how work was. She lost her ability to speak early on in the journey but developed a way of communicating through eye movements and an alphabet sheet. It required patience but was always worth the wait.

When I was getting married two years ago, I tried my wedding dress on because she was thrilled for me, and also a lover of fashion and all things beautiful.  I had bought a necklace to go with the dress but wasn’t sure if it was quite right.  She let me know, in her way, that it was indeed not right. With the help of her caregiver, Jen (who had developed an uncanny way to read a breath, a murmur, an eyebrow raise combined with some letters), Shellye said to me, “I want you to wear MY necklace.” Through tears, I thanked her and said how perfect it would be to have something borrowed from my dear friend on my wedding day.  I hugged and kissed her, and then she communicated again.  After some time and interpretation, Jen smiled, looked up at me and said, “She says, ‘if you lose it, I’ll kill you.’”

I don’t remember the exact moment I met her, or even how our relationship developed. I know our daughters spent time together as friends, and we saw each other when we picked our children up, but it was as if she was a dear friend from the moment I met her. She was someone I wanted to have in my life because she made me feel loved and she made me better. She was beautiful, kind, hysterically funny and had the best infectious laugh. And she’d kick my butt if I was doing something she felt wasn’t good for me.

When she got diagnosed with ALS, a small army of people stepped forward, mostly women, to cook, pitch in, take care of what they could take care of.  They became a consistent force in the Bolton household and a testament to community.  Stacie took care of Shellye several days a week. Nancy cooked a gourmet meal for the family every Friday. Jane was her best friend forever and was there whenever she could be. And there were countless others who did what they could in their own way. Her kids, Shay and Alex, were loving, strong and protective. And what can one say about Pete? He was the best of husbands - her rock, her provider, protector and friend. Shellye told me that on their first date, they went boating, and when she leaned back against him, he felt like HOME. He was. Her HOME.

She was able to see her children graduate from high school and college, and she was able to meet her first grandchild. She witnessed change and loss and victories of her dear friends.  She became my very own St. Therese de Liseux. While her body confined her, still she was always a constant source of inspiration, wisdom and gratitude.  It was always hard to leave her, and I usually spent the first few miles on my drive away thinking what an incredible woman she was, how awful that stupid disease was, and how grateful I was to have the use of my hands, my feet, my legs, my voice. She put life and all its little pleasures in perspective, always.

Oh, I’ll miss you, Shellye. I deeply appreciate that you let me be a part of your journey.  I always feel that I didn’t live up to the privilege. So, for you, I will work out and use my able arms and legs; I will love my husband and children deeply; I will be there for my friends and family. I will laugh often, especially at myself. And I will appreciate the small things in life in honor of who you were and will always be.  Thank you for being such a good and unconditionally loving friend. XO