Good afternoon. On behalf of our family, I want to thank all of you for being here today to celebrate our mom. I feel as though I could write a book regarding my mother’s life so I will do my best to make this brief and try to keep my emotions under control. 

I honestly do not know how I can adequately describe our mom with words. Mom was so much larger than life, a force of nature reflected in the bright colored clothes she wore, her striking blond hair she was so proud of, the vibrant way she entered a room, her great sense of humor and infectious laugh, and that particular way she could single you out and make you feel special. 

She loved giving little gifts, gifts that while simple, expressed her joy of simply giving, giving that would show how much she cared. She lived her life in the most positive way.  She saw the good in everything and encouraged others to do the same. Her actions and the incredible example that she showed her children and grandchildren are behaviors that should be emulated by all of us. She was a true role model, who without her, 12 of us would not be here today.

Caring for others

My mother cared deeply for everyone, whether you were her family, friends, neighbors, and those often forgotten, the old, the indigent and the mentally ill. In her early years, she would go over to the Harrisburg State Mental Hospital and spend time caring for those institutionalized. I marveled at the time how week after week she would spend time brightening up the day of those less fortunate. 

She had the kindest heart of anyone we knew. And it shown bright each holiday when she would task us kids to deliver food and presents to the neighbors, often to individuals who had no family. Her house was always filled with friends.  Friends lived at our house, usually invited by her, and they were always treated as if they were one of her own. 

She was always involved helping, be it the girl scouts, charitable organizations, here at Trinity, where she decorated and organized functions for many years, and even in the last months of her life in trying to make lives better for those at the facility in which she lived. 

 

Danielle share with me a story that I and others saw repeated many times in many ways over the years. Mom and she visited a nursing home in Harrisburg to celebrate the Chinese New Year. Like most of those places the interior was drab and sterile, the patients sitting or milling around in silence. Danielle was new to all of this and said it felt like such a sad and lonely place. But in walked mom, with her blue eyes sparkling, all decked out in a bright red jacket and gold jewelry - she looking like she was heading to a fancy dinner party or rather a ringmaster, minus the top hat. In her arms was a large box full of Chinese lanterns, takeout containers, chop sticks and who knows what. She told Danielle to set up the chairs as if they were taking a plane ride to China. When she had finished, she handed her a shiny red and yellow oriental silk dress and told her to go put it on. When the residents arrived, Mom simulated a plane ride to China, talking about Chinese history and places along the journey. Pulling them in and having everybody imagine that they were actually on a plane ride to China. When they landed, they were just in time for the Chinese New Year parade. And with that Mom pulled out a giant 10 foot Chinese dragon, and the ones who could, got underneath it and they paraded through the halls of the nursing home creating laughter and excitement. These people were in need of joy and mom delivered with panache.

Here were two of the many life lessons mom taught us, that there is nothing more satisfying than to give the gift of love to someone who is in need and that doing good for others is the greatest gift we can give ourselves.

Shirley June was born July 16, 1933 in Wilmington, Delaware, to Albert and Elsie Cadora of Hancock Street. The youngest of three, Shirley grew up in the Great Depression and consequently she never meet a sale she didn’t like. She excelled in art, painting and design, and throughout her life mom always had a pencil, paint brush or colored markers handy to indulge in her favorite talent. She was also a gorgeous girl whose first job was as a model for DuPont. 

She met dad at a roller rink when she was only 19, remarking to a friend that night that she was going to marry him, and so she did, shortly thereafter. They eventually moved to Harrisburg and bought their dream home at 2714 Logan Street. A place my mom dubbed Cochran's Camelot. A warm and inviting place that our family felt safe and protected from the harsh realities of the world outside.

The old brick house over the years was converted into a remarkable place that reflected mom’s unique style. She loved colonial things, antiques and the holidays, so it morphed into a kind of bric-a-brac of various motifs, all uniquely Shirley’s. That included old farm implements, hand cranked coffee mills and wooden cigar presses mounted on the wall, a bookcase full of toy trains and Revolutionary War patriot mug heads, colored bottles in all the windows and a lot of stuff that to this day, I’m not really sure what they were. At one time I believe we had 4 Christmas trees decorating the downstairs, a tradition that lasted several years, year round. I’m sure that well into the future we’ll be going through her acquisitions trying to determine what exactly is valuable and what just happened to catch her eye at the time. 

Creative 

Her decorating flare was not limited to the inside of the house, early on she found an old horse drawn sleigh that she had dad put in the front yard. At Christmas she adorned with Santa, St. Patrick’s it was shamrocks and at Easter it was bunny rabbits. At any particular time throughout the year you’d find huge candy canes stuck in the yard, colored plastic eggs hanging from the trees, electric candle sticks in the upstairs windows, holiday lights twinkling on the trees and bushes and miniature American flags everywhere. But her greatest achievement in this area was her Halloween decorating which was, and still to this day, a Camp Hill legend. Kids would line up around the block just to experience the wondrous adventure that mom created. The inside of the house was a miniature version the Disney Haunted Mansion and her enthusiasm to make it real was contagious. She would dress up and get her family involved to join in. Causing many of us to carry on that crazy tradition at our own houses throughout the years with her participating. 

Several years ago, right before we moved Mom and Dad out to Pittsburgh, we were sitting around the house on October 31st and they decide that they wanted to do one last final Halloween. They were much older now, the event was smaller and quieter, but the kids still lined up, this time with their parents who had come to the same house that same night 20 odd years earlier. They had brought their own children just to experience for a moment something and someone who had touch their lives. Seeing that, that night brought a lot of joy to both of them.

Adventurer 

Mom was a fearless adventurer and I think she instilled in all of us a sense of wanderlust, that strong impulse to explore the world. Not just in a physical way but to embrace the smells, the sounds, the tastes and visual beauty around us. She was always having us try new food, go to new places like art and natural history museums, national parks and visit her two favorites places, Williamsburg and Gettysburg, where she would instill in us a great deal of pride in our nation’s history and in being an American.

My brothers all have shared with me childhood recollections of things that at the time they didn’t fully comprehend and in some cases didn’t particularly like, which later gave them a much broader view and appreciation of life.

She loved to travel, her and dad, with us in tow, trucked out west with my grandparents in a little popup trailer, throughout Europe, twice, on countless weekend camping trips and long like-the-days-will-never-end visits to our cabin in Tennessee. In all those settings, she was the chief cook, activities coordinator and cheerleader. And we sat around singing old camp songs and telling stories late into the night under starry skies. 

She enjoyed being outside in nature and made it magical regardless of where we were at the time. She had personalized names for trees around our house, each had a story of its own and spoke of them as if they were part of our family, surrounding and protecting us; we didn’t climb a big scraggly pine tree in the backyard, we were climbing Old Daddy Long Legs. She loved experiencing the world, and she extended that to the last place she lived out her life, spending as much time as she could outside, listening to the birds, to the wind ringing her chimes, to smelling the flowers, the sun on her face and just watching it cross the sky, the simplest of things gave her joy.

Love for Dad and family

As for her life with Dad, she was set a shining example of the kind of unconditional love required to see a marriage through good times and bad. They hugged, they kissed, they laughed, they danced, and they cooked together, in more ways than one. They were the best of friends and lovers for over 60 years.

I remember the time when Dad was unsure about starting his own business. He was concerned that maybe leaving DuPont to become a manufacture’s rep was not the best idea considering that he had a wife and three young sons to provide for. Mom held his hands and told him she had no doubt in his abilities, he would do much better on his own and that she would do anything to help him achieve his dream. 

That was Mom; always the eternal optimist, always willing to pitch in and do whatever was needed, all the time truly believing that things would work out in the end. You’ve heard of people who are glass half-full or glass half empty, mom was a glass completely full person.

The epitome of the Turn Lemons into Lemonade magnets she use to stick on the refrigerator at the time and the ideal of what a good wife and mother should be. She always did her best to be patient with all of her children, and there were five of us, so that was no easy feat. She tried to carve out quality time with each, telling us how exceptional she felt we were and reassure us constantly of her and God’s love for us. She use to say –

 Good, better, best, never let it rest, till your good is better and your better best.

But she was also a strong, opinionated woman, as we all know, she was an expert in the use of the phase – I’m…Your…Mother.

She could be subtle, and she could be blunt, but she always spoke from her heart. She had no trouble being the on the spot disciplinarian when we got out of line. One of my earliest memories of her is was her chasing me around the house with a metal spatula, yelling “you think this is bad, wait till you father get home.”

She loved her daughters-in-laws, and she felt blessed to have them, since she wanted, and kept trying repeatedly to have daughters her own.

And she adored her grandchildren, and was happy that in the last few years of her life she got to be with them, talk with them and see them frequently, and I think that was one reasons she bounded back so often from her illnesses and hung around. 

Her family was her joy and comfort to the end. And every 4th of July reunion was a celebration of not only the founding of our country, but the founding of our family. And I know it was her wish to keep that tradition alive well into the future.  

Gratitude 

Mom was very grateful for life. The fact that she was here, experiencing whatever was going on, as simple or even as discomforting as we might think of it, to her was a blessing. 

She was the first to remind us when the weather turned bad and we felt compelled to complain about it by saying:

“You should be so grateful that you can be out in this weather, to feel the cold air, the wet rain and the wind... there are so many people that would give anything in the world to be out in this weather right now"  

 

Faith in God

Mom had deep abiding belief in God and was never hesitant to share her strong faith. She could talk about God at the drop of a hat and often did. 

She told me, one time when I was very young, that when she was very young she wanted to see God. So she prayed and prayed that he would visit her in her bedroom. She got her wish. In the middle of night, God showed up at the foot of her bed. That revelation, she said, had a profound effect on how she lived her life from that day forward. I remember listening to this story at only six years old and being very scared of the dark at the time, I asked her that since, she had this direct pipeline to God, I would greatly appreciate it if she could please, ask him to not come visit me in the middle of the night. She reassured me that she would let him know.

She always reminded us that there was something greater than ourselves, that life was precious, temporary and not to be wasted. But she didn’t just talk the talk, she walked it and she incorporated her zest for living and creativity to that end. 

The last few months were very hard for mom with her pain. She missed dad, she wanted to see him again so bad. She was never was afraid to walk through that door though, knowing, he was on the other side waiting. I know she is at peace and very happy now. She always loved Valentine’s Day and I like to believe she checked out a little earlier last week so that she could be together with him on that special day. 

She was capable of both delivering and experiencing immense happiness, and served as both our light and our glue.  Everyone who knew her, loved her. 

For my brothers, my cousins and myself, she was the last of the grown-ups to leave, now it’s just the kids table. And while we have lost many family members over the years, especially in the last few, I am comforted by the fact that mom is in heaven sharing her love for life and enjoying the reunions. I hope and pray that our generation can continue the passion and love of family that she shared with us. 

And I don’t doubt, that when the time comes for each one of us, as it will, Shirley be waiting at the gates with balloons in one hand and a big homemade welcome poster in the other. 

Thank you.