The weather was terrible. It had snowed a lot, and the roads were just horrendous. After her dad got off work, we planned on going to visit Sunshine. Every minute with her was valuable to us. We had stopped at my Aunt Gerri's nursing home to call the hospital to get an update on her, and the station nurse informed me that she was resting wuietly, and that her vitals were fine. They tried to reassure us that she would be fine, and since the roads were bad, maybe we should consider coming up in the morning. Something didn't feel right. My stomach was in knots, and I just felt like something was pulling me to the hospital. After talking about our options, we decided to take our chances, and drive to South Bend. With the snow falling steadily, we slowly made our way to the hospital. It took us longer than usual, but we finally made it. As we began to enter the NICU, we were met by Sunshine's doctor. He informed us that her vitals had dropped, and he didn't think she would make it through the night. My heart dropped! Was this really happening? I turned and ran out of the unit. I didnt know where I was going, I just felt like I had to get as far away from those words as I could. My cousin Sue caught up with me, and we cried together for a few minutes, and then slowed she led me back to my daughter. The nurse called my parents in Florida to inform them of what was going on, and so that I could talk to them in this traumatic time. It was during that time that the doctor said she was gone. I remember dropping the phone and just screaming. Why her? Why our daughter? We weren't perfect people, but we were good parents, why were we being punished? All these questions and more came to mind. The doctor allowed us to have some time alone with Sunshine so we could say our goodbyes. I can still feel her lifeless body in my arms today. I sat in the rocking chair holding my precious babygirl, rocking her in my arms, and sobbing. I didn't want to say good bye to her, but the nurse finally said she had to take the baby, and that we could use the room for awhile longer before heading home.I cried all the way back to Michigan City that night.....and I still cry for her til this day. We were't prepared for this. We didn't know why it happened, only that in a few days, we would have to bury our only daughter. We missed out on so much with our daughter, but I know that she has been with us through every milestone in our lives, and is watching over her family until we are all reunited again.

            Sunshine was born on December 1, 1990. It was a beautiful winter morning, but the sun was shining so much that her dad decided to name her Sunshine. Unfortunately, I had her in the early morning hours, and her dad was unable to make it for her entry into the world. I was alone, and scared for our daughter. I didn't know what to expect. When the doctor first held her up so I can see her before they took her to the N.I.C.U. She was so tiny. My heart ached to hold my daughter, and tell her everything would be ok, and that mommy and daddy was going to be right by her side.  She was taken to the neonatal unit, and I was sent to a private room. It was torture being so far away from my precious baby. I spent every minute I could with her in the neonatal unit that I possibly could. After I was released from the hospital, me and her dad went to visit our daughter before we headed back to Michigan City. It was a happy but sad time for us. We didn't know if she would make it through, but we hoped our precious girl would pull through.
            The next few weeks were touch and go for Sunshine. She was kept in an incubator, and we were not allowed to hold her for fear of infections, or any thing else that could hinder her health. It was so hard to see our little girl with all those tubes going in her small frail body. I wished I could take away all the pain she was enduring, just so she wouldn't have to go through it. These were some of the hardest days of my life. I kept wishing it was all just a dream, and that I would wake up, and she would be fine, a beautiful, healthy baby girl. But that wasn't going to happen. Our lives were falling apart, and soon it would feel like every part of us died.

         My pregnancy with Sunshine was hard to say the least. At two and a half months into my pregnancy, I went into premature labor. They sent me from Michigan City where we lived at the time, to South Bend. This was a good call, and doctors at the hospital were able to stop the labor and I was sent home a few days later, but on bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy. Things were going smoothly for a few weeks, but at four and a half months into the pregnancy, I went in labor again.
        I was once again sent back to Memorial Hospital in South Bend, but this time the medication didnt stop the contractions, and during the early morning hours of December 1, 1989, I gave birth to a 1 lb. 5 oz. baby girl. She was so tiny and frail. But she was my miracle.
       Even though I did all I could to prevent having my little angel too early, God had other plans for her, and our family would soon realize she would be with us for such a short period of time :(