ForeverMissed
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Her Life

my mum sue

September 5, 2010



my mum was born on the 26th january 1961, she has one sister lorna royle who is still alive, one brother who passed away before my mum called david, and she has two brothers alan and eddie who are still alive.

mums parents are caroline who passed away in may 2000 and norman who is still here!  my mum was a very popular at school and had lots of friends, she had a troubled childhood and got into trouble, and had to go in a home with her siblings.

mum obviously grew up and met my dad billy, and had me ( 1979) , then lost a little boy baby billy who was born a day after her 21st and died on valentines day ! then ellie was born  (1982),  then had nichola (1984) then miscarried another little boy! along came bj who she cried when he was born a son finaly for her (1986)  , then along came lez! (1989)

unfortunatley mum did not always have a good life with my dad  , he use to phyical and emotionaly bully her, she was always trying to take her own life to get away from it all, as a child i remember this. but my mum always loved him!

when lez was about 3 i had said to my mum enough is enough and we had to get out of this, so we decided to leave the next day! 

 so  we packed that day, mum was so scared but i told her we had to do it, she could not live her life like this anymore she deserved more, the next day early in the morning mum put all the stuff in the car whilst my dad was in bed, we got ready for school as normal, said goodbye to him and we will see him later and drove off, we stopped off at macclesfield to tell my nanny bet ( dads mum) we were leaving him, mum was crying saying she cant live like this anymore, then we headed off to knutsford cheshire where mum had her parents friends and family!

mum was still scared , but finaly free she then met jack who  treated her like a lady, gave her everything she wanted  yes they had a couple of arguments but nothing what she had to put up with from my dad.

jack was a manager at johnsons the cleaners and mum had her 1st ever job there as a seamstress , she worked so bloody hard, kept her house beautiful as always, kept her children happy and did things as a family .

years past mum became a nan to ellies daughter carlia, months past mum kept getting headaches really bad,  doctors were putting it down to stress as my mums mum caroline was ill in hospital! mum kept complaining to the doctors but he kept fobbing her off , told her to go to the optitions and get her eyes checked and had to wear glasses.

  at the time i was living with my boyfriend and nichola my sister was banging on the door crying " mums collapsed " "jacks taken her hospital" mum had to stay in for a while i really did not grasp that she was ill, eventualy one day i wrote her a little note to say how muched i loved her, and hope she gets well soon, when the visi was over mum followed me down stairs to go home and she said i have to tell you something, she said i have a brain tumour and im really frightened ! we both cried cuddling each other, she said please dont tell the others not even jack, she told me to go, i was still crying.

eventualy mum was diagnosed with cancer, and had chemo and radiotherephy, she shaved her hair before it fell out, carlia my sisters daughter was only about 14 months old at the time and said to her         " nanny no hair"  i did not realise how ill she was my poor mum, she told ellie how bad she was, after her chemo and radiotherepy, she went back to christies hospital for the badest news of her life!it was still there and spreading faster! ( i still did not know) mum or her sister and friends organised a party for mum, for a get together, there were so many people there it was getting to the end of the night when my boyfriend at the time burst out cring, i asked him what was wrong and he told me " sabrina your mum is dying" i felt as tho id been knocked down i said i want to go, i could not face looking at my poor mum, for a horrible life she had with my dad and now she was only 38 and dying, i said take me home!

the next day mum asked why i left i told her that i now knew she was dying and i loved her so much and we will get thru this together, at the time of this i was pregnant i rang her up to tell her, to try and give her some hope to hold on!

christmas was coming and mum was so poorley, we took her shopping to altrincham so she could get her presents, mum was so weak!  on christmas eve she had to go into macclesfield hospital to have her lungs drained, they wanted her to stay in but she said im dying and want to be at home with my family!

christmas day arrived and went then it happened on new years eve she had to go back to hospital for her lungs to be drained, they told her to stay in, she said no im going to a party at my cousin, mum left the hospital and we went to the party, we had a lovely time, with really big fire works!

mum became more poorly and doctor bayliss advised her to go into east cheshire hospice, she said i cant i will end up in a box if i go, in the end mum finaly went to the hospice, they were such lovely and friendly people there, mums mum caroline was still ill at hospital  and had no idea where my mum was! i felt so sorry for mum, because when we are ill who do we want?  yes thats right our mums! and my mum could not go and see her and tell her why she has not seen her for months!

i visited mum every single day and stayed for hours with her, she told me one day that this place was haunted she said she saw a ghost maybe her time was coming to an end :(

mum asked the doctors there how long she had left, they said 3 -6 months! i still did not know! about two days before the 15th january she was admitted to macclesfield hospital as an emergency, i went to see mum and stayed with her holding her hand, telling her how much i loved her, she kept smilling at me, the next day was the same mum said her foot was hurting so i was rubbing it for ages, it was about 730pm on the 15th january and i said i have got to go, i told her how much i loved her and she smiled, i told the nurses that mums foot hurts, i waved goodbye to mum and mouthed i love you, and so did mum.

we got home, and about 9 pm ish the hospital rang and said they wanted to operate on her but her heart was not strong enough, but dont worry she said

we went to bed and got a phone call from my dad in leek saying im sorry your mum had died!

that was the worst day of my life, i had to go in and tell my sister nichola and my brother bj that we no longer had our mum! lez my brother was in leek at the time and my sister was with her boyfriend at his house, my family came round we all cried and we decided that myself, ellie, carlia, nichola and bj should go to leek and see lez! it was such an emotional time!

mum i want to say to you how much i love you still and our love will never ever die!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  sabrina xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx