Happier times
Sisters!!
I love this picture that my mom used to keep on her dresser. The frame said "Double Trouble" and Ron totally agrees!! I loved getting compliments from my friends asking if that was really my mom. She was a beautiful young looking momma, grandma and great-grandma! We miss you mom and love you with all our hearts!!
Zac loving some Cardinal Gear!
Great Grandson James
My mom's third great grandson was born on August 15, 2011. Tammy had a bear made out of one of my mom's robes for little James. He now has my mom as his Guardian Angel, along with Jordan and Jaxon. She would have been so proud to have another great grandbaby to spoil and love. We love you Mom, may you forever rest in peace.
Mother's Day 2009 in Washington
Today is Mother's Day and I can't help but think about past Mother's Days that we spent with my mom. We weren't able to spend every Mother's Day together but the ones we did I will cherish. I will never forget the special Mother's Day that we spent in Washington with Melanie and Jordan. I remember Ron and Jordan making us all breakfast in bed and then grilling steaks for us for dinner!! She told me he was a keeper and I have to agree :-)
When I give Melanie a compliment about being a good momma she always tells me she had a good teacher and then I tell her I had the best :-) We miss you more than words can express, Mom. I promise I will not spend this first Mother's Day without you, crying all day. I am going to enjoy my babies as I know that's what you would want me to do. I just wish we would have had more Mother's Days to build memories but I will carry the past memories in my heart forever! You are with me with every breath I take.
Love you mom!
Life is Fragile - Thanksgiving 2008
I look at this picture and want to cry - I'm so glad Ron snuck this picture of me and mom having a sentimental moment in my kitchen! I can remember closing my eyes and thanking God we still had her around for that Thanksgiving and praying we would have her for many, many more!
Mom, God saw you getting tired and a cure was not to be. So He put his arms around you and whispered "Come with Me." With tearful eyes I watched you, and saw you pass away. Although I loved you dearly, I could not make you stay. A golden heart stopped beating, hard working hands at rest. God broke my heart to prove to me He only takes the best. (author unknown)
I love moments like these in this picture. Life is Fragile, so hug and kiss your loved ones every chance you get!!
Full of Knowledge
My mom would be the first to admit that she was not "book smart' - she made fun of her own spelling somtimes, but she had more knowledge and common sense about a lot of things than anyone I know. Whenever Ron and I were working around the house she was the first person we would call with questions about stain, paint, you name it, we could always count on her to give us some good advice. She didn't always agree with the color we were going to paint, but I told her that Ron was suggesting, "we step out of the box," and get away from beige. She got a kick out of that but said she liked her beige and neutral colors. She ended up liking some of our darker colors we chose, or at least that's what she told us anyway :-)
The above picture is when her and Chip came for a visit one Thanksgiving and she insisted on helping us paint the game room and refinish the mantle. She loved to re-finish furniture - if she could take something old and ragged and make it look new again, she was happy! I just miss her so much.....
The Youngest Looking Great-Grandma
Wow! This picture was taken in 2007 - my mom is 61 years old. She is the youngest looking 61-year-old great-grandma I have ever seen! She really did not realize just how beautful she was and that made her even more beautiful!!
I would show pictures of her to my friends and they asked if she was my sister. I would proudly say, "Nope, she's my momma!!!"
I was so proud to have a beautiful young looking mom!
Marge and Estella
Marge and Estella are my mom's good friends from Baden. Estella is Chip's older sister. My mom spent many, many years helping Marge take care of Estella and then after Estella passed last year, she continued to help Marge through some rough times. She was always there for anyone that needed her, even when she was the one that needed help at times.....that's just the way she was. We love you mom - rest quietly and comfortably in Heaven in the arms of the angels, where there are no tears and there is no pain......
Mom's Good Irondale Friends
Patrick
Mother I Miss You
I would like to thank Aunt Carol also for sending me the CD of Mother I Miss You (Tammy downloaded it below). I as well remember my mom listening to this song over and over after losing her mother and now Tammy and I are doing the same and feeling the same heart-wrenching pain. It's comforting to know that our mom knew how much we loved her and how much we are going to miss her. We are very lucky to have had her as long as we did. There are some that never get to experience the kind of mother's love we did and for them I feel sad.
Thanks again, Aunt Carol, as you are one of the very few in the family that TRULY understand what a Mother's loss feels like. You don't know what your kind words have meant during these heart-wrenching times of grieving and for that I will be forever grateful.
Love Monica
Mother I Miss You
I remember my mom listening to this song over and over crying when she lost her mother. Now we are doing the same.
Thanks aunt Carol for sending me the CD. Monica and I looked for it at my mom's and couldn't find it. Love you.
Miss you mom forever!
You will have to turn the sound off and the top of the memorial site page in order to hear it.
Mother's Day 2009
We all celebrated Mother's Day in Washington with Melanie and Jordan (Patrick was in Iraq) and we had a blast. Ron was a brave soul to spend the week with all three "Sue's!!" He took the abuse like a champ though and even fixed us all breakfast in bed, with Jordan's help of course. He loved bringing his mommy breakfast in bed. Then they grilled us steaks that night! He earned some major points that week with all of us! My mom loved to aggravate and pick on Ron but I think he loved every minute of it!! She definitely showed him some love too!
The Sadness
Prose by my good friend Arthur Salazar, April, 2010
She is gone.
And rushing to fill the emptiness
the sadness comes
when it will.
It flows through me
carving canyons and stream beds
Rushing...
The sadness comes in waves
Rising and receding
Finding the corners of my heart,
the edges of my soul
It erodes and carries away
the silt of regret,
scouring the rocks of old anger
and old patterns
And as it fills me
and it brings, flowing on the new wave,
the flotsam and jetsam of hope...
new energy
Then the sadness ebbs
and left behind is new life.
and the power of change.
I am honored he allowed me to share his copyrighted material with family, in honor of Aunt Sue.
Momma so young
I remember my mom saying she didn't want this picture. I said are you kidding, I'll take it. I have it hanging on my wall. I don't have a scanner so I took a picture of it. Don't think it turned out as well as if I did but had to post. She was so beautiful even at the time she passed away. I can only hope I look as good as she did at her age.
Sisters Leaning on Each Other
It's amazing how you can find the good during sad times. I have never felt closer to my sister Tammy than when we were going through my mom passing. I can't explain it but it definitely drew us closer. She stepped up to the plate and relieved me when I needed to go back home and she did such an awesome job taking care of our mom. Leaving my mom was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, but it was comforting to know that she was in good hands. Tammy will cherish that last month of my mom's life and that will stay in her heart forever. We leaned on each other like never before the day my mom passed, even though we knew she was at peace and out of pain, it was heart wrenching to watch them take her from her house - we just stood there and held each other crying, literally holding onto each other, as we watched them drive her away.......we never felt pain like this before.
Through all the pain and sadness, 2 sisters drew closer than ever before.
Balloon Send-Off!
Thanks Kathy, for the great idea of writing messages on heart-shaped balloons and releasing them in my mom's honor - she would have loved that!! It turned out absolutely beautiful too! You are awesome "cuz" and I love you! Thanks for having a Heart of Gold - you have a lot of your Aunt Sue in you!!
Love Monica
Angels in Disguise
My cousin Kathy and her husband Dave were always there for my mom. When this entire mess started in December with my mom and Chip having health problems at the same time, Kathy stepped up and helped with some of Chip's appointments when it got to be too overwhelming for me to handle all of it and for that I will be forever grateful! I'm sure there are many stories that Kathy will tell in due time.
My mom was also there for her and Dave also - I remember when Dave got sick a couple of years ago with a sickness similar to my mom's colon problems, she drove all the way to their house (couple hours) to help them out which was not an easy task because car rides really put her in a lot of pain. I think Brittney drove but even sitting in a car for any length of time was very painful for her. That was just her though, she was always there for whoever needed her. Her perseverance and drive simply amazed me - I'm not sure what kept her going over the years - she always said it was love for all of her loved ones :-)
Thanks Kathy and Dave for always being there for my mom!
Best Phone Call Ever Made!
Ron and I send text messages back and forth during the day and sometimes we remind each other how much we love each other and how lucky we are to have found one another (I know it sounds kind of silly after almost 25 years but what can I say?) Well today, we were sending similar text messages and he reminded me who we had to thank for "finding each other." I immediately started crying, remembering how we met.
One Friday night, I saw my Dad's truck and my sister Tammy's car at the local hang out (Cypress) and thought I would pop in to say hi. While standing and talking to my Dad and Tammy, I took a look around and saw this guy with black curly hair playing pool. I asked Tammy, "Who is that guy?" She said, "That's Helen Crocker's son, Ronnie." I didn't really say anymore but I was definitely checking him out while I was there! The next day, I told my Mom that I saw Helen Crocker's son, Ronnie, down at Cypress last night and I didn't realize she had such a good looking son!! Well, that's all it took, she was on the phone with Helen (they were old friends) that day and Ron called me that night - our first date was at Putt Putt and here we are almost 25 years later!
Thanks Mom, for the best phone call ever made! Love Monica
Our little angels
Melanie & Patrick brought these two little angels to my mom's during her final days. I don't know what we would of done without them after my mom passed away. Jaxon was so lovable and Jordan kept asking me to cuddle with him and would put his arm around me and pat me. They were exactly what we needed. They will never know what they did for me. They were my little angels during such a difficult time.
A Very Good Friend
Kathy was such a good friend to my mom. They had lots of laughs together and were always there for each other. While I was taking care of my mom, Kathy would come and give me a break every other weekend. She did a lot for my mom and was a very good friend to her and for that I will be forever grateful. Love you Kathy and thank you.
My Mom's Urn
I was talking to my Mom a couple weeks before she passed and she asked me what I thought about the idea of keepsake urns for all 3 of her kids. I told her I thought that would be a great idea, holding back the tears. I asked her, "Do you want me to get one small enough and wear you around my neck or something?" She said, "You damn right, I want to hang around for awhile!" We both laughed and there were tears streaming down my face. If you know my mom at all, you know this sounds exactly like something she would say. Of course, I told her she would be "hanging around" in our hearts forever! Tammy loves angels, so we agreed on a kneeling bronze colored angel and it is absolutely beautiful! Thanks Mom for once again knowing just what we need.
I love you with all my heart and soul.....
Gambling
Like I mentioned, my mom loved to gamble. I'm not a big fan of gambling, but told her I would gamble with her money all day long and she used to get a kick out of it when I said that because it reminded her of this story.
I went on the boat with her and her friends, the same year she had cancer the first time, over 12 years ago. I think we were playing poker side-by-side, when she hit 4 Aces and won something like $1000! Sirens started going off and people started clapping - I didn't know what the heck was going on. After she received her winnings, she turned and gave me $300 and said, "Here you go, go win some more." I said, "Are you giving me this $300 to do what I want with?" When she told me yes, she watched me stick $200 in my pocket for gas money to get back home to Texas and she laughed. I lost the other $100 in less than a half hour. I was playing some game that you could play anywhere from $1 to $5 at a time. I was going all out at $5 at a time because I thought I could win bigger that way - of course, she said it was because it wasn't my money! She had a fit when she saw me sticking $5 in at one time and said, "No wonder you are losing money so fast - you have to pace yourself!" I didn't go gambling with her much after that because I couldn't deal with the smoky atmosphere, but I'll never forget that time we had on the boat. We got a room and I went to bed early and of course, her and her friends stayed down there gambling until 5 a.m. in the morning!
This is one of those stories that my mom told over and over and I never got tired of hearing it, as it made us laugh. I will treasure all the fun times I had with my mom and carry them in my heart forever.....
Dine and Dash
Years ago your Mom and I went out to eat to a resturant (whose name shall remain secret) with the Fultons. Marvin and Ron were waiting at the house drinking their beer and we were going to bring their food back. The resturant was so packed it was unreal. Service was slow but what a fun night we had. When we got ready to go we could not get the server to give us our bill for a long time. Once we got the bill there was another huge line to pay and one of us (don't remember who) got the brainy idea to dine and dash. (Your Mom had our to go order). All four of us were giggling like school kids and we ran out of the resturant without paying. We laughed all the way home until we cried and I think Shirley wet her pants a little or threatened to. Once we arrived home and told our story between laughing and crying, Marvin and Ron got mad at us and said we should be ashamed of ourselves and if we had been locked up they would not have gotten us out of jail. I know, it was nervy of Marvin and Ron giving us any type of lecture with their history!! The Fultons said they went back and paid their bill, but Sue and I never did believe it! Shirley is gone but Bob is the only one left that could tell the truth.
Garage Sales
I'm sitting here at home, working, looking out my window. My neighbor is having a garage sale and I cannot help but remember how my mom LOVED garage sales!! I remember when she had cancer the first time, 12 years ago, I stayed with her for awhile to help her and Chip with all of her chemotherapy and radiation appointments. Well, I was driving her to one of her appointments one day, and she screamed, "STOP!!" My heart about jumped out of my chest, and I asked, "What for - what's wrong?" She said, "Turn around, there was a garage sale back there and it looked like a good one!" So, I turned the car around and we went to the garage sale and actually got a few good deals. That woman could get a deal - - even at a garage sale, she would talk them down off the price!
Another garage sale experience Chip had with her was when my daughter Melanie and grandson Jordan were coming for a visit in September 2007. She had to hit every garage sale in site with Chip and then they spent hours sterilizing all the toys before Jordan could touch any of them. They worked really hard getting as many toys as they could and we sure appreciated it.
Thinking of my mom brings tears lately but also many smiles.....
Jimmy's music, "I Miss You"
Joan's story
I love Joan's story. It is so true. Just last night I caught myself sounding just like my mother and even commented to my husband, "I am my mother's daughter".
When we were at my mom's right after she passed away, Monica also made some comments and it sounded just like my mom. She thought mom was inside her. She definately will live inside us the rest of our lives! Love you mom and I am proud to be your daughter.
For Sue's Children
Years ago I shared this with Sue when she was hurting so bad from the loss of her Mother. The hurt will be just as raw 20 years from now. Your first Mothers Day and the rest of them will burn through your heart. You will heal because even though it will hurt the same, time will allow you to handle the pain. One day you will wake up and realize that your Mother is with you, when you look in the mirror and see her in your face, when you say something and it sounds just like Sue, when you eat a dish that your Mom made, when you visit someplace that you visited with her, when you hear a song, when a special event happens like a grandchild born that you want to share with her, you will wake up one day and say, I am my Mother's child. I look at your pictures and see Sue and Marvin in all three of you and you are being passed down to your children in the same way. My memories of Sue will be etched in my heart forever. Some days I cry and some days I smile when I think of her but I willl never forget her.
Million Dollar Bed
This was the last picture I had taken with my mom when I stayed with her the month of January. Ron and I bought this bed for her a few years back. The foot and head of the bed elevates to where she could get herself in a position that eased her pain. She bragged to everyone and called it her "million dollar bed." It brought us happiness that we could ease her pain a little. I was always there for her over the years but just wish I could have done more to keep her here with us but I guess God needed her more in Heaven.....Rest in Peace now Mom, in no pain.
Caring for my momma
I really had to fight with my mom to get her to let me feed her. She hated the fact that she couldn't feed herself anymore. She was so used to caring for other people. She got used to it after a while though. I loved her so much and still so glad I had the opportunity to care for her. It was definately my honor.
My Mom and Chip
Caring for my momma
I am so glad I was able to care for my momma during her final month on this earth. It was so hard to see her suffer but God gave me the strength during that difficult time. She really hated the fact that someone had to take care of her. She was so used to caring for others. I just kept telling her that she cared for people her whole life and did so much for me my whole life and it made me feel good to finally do something for her. Rest in peace now momma. You will suffer no more. I will miss you so much. I will carry you in my heart for the rest of my life.
Jimmy
Mom's first grandchild. I lived with my mom and dad pretty much when Jimmy was a baby. She just took over and cared for him like her own. My dad had quit drinking the first year Jimmy was born and they both enjoyed him as their own taking him everywhere they went, spoiling him rotten. She was like a second momma to both Jimmy and Jason. She was such a good grandma. I don't know what I would of done without her.
Jason
A Day at the Grocery
Many, many years ago, a trip with few and sketchy details that certainly run together with other trips, we made the LONG trip from Arizona to St. Louis to see the aunts, uncles, cousins, and whomever else might have showed up. I remember tacos (with pre-made shells, what an innovation), Budweiser, Uncle Bud and his damn "frogging" of the arm, and a lot of laughs. It had to be 1963 or there abouts. Why 1963? Only an assumption as I presume she had to be 16 to drive to the market. That said, who really knows.
One of the most memorable events on this vacation was a run to the market with my Aunt Sue. Something was necessary for the taco feast being whipped up (probably wasn't more beer). You have to know that his trip might have been all about just doing tacos and nothing else. So, we were after salsa (new word for my St Louis relations), Laury's taco seasoning, who knows. But we were walking down aisle after aisle, poking, pinching, pushing, laughing, and if anyone was watching, we were acting more like sister and brother than Aunt and Nephew. Well, Aunt Sue, come to learn was extremely comfortable in her own skin. I didnt know what that meant until much later. A part of the goofin' around was her seeming ease, and comfort, with passing gas. Well at 9 or 10 years old I had no idea about her colostomy. New words and concepts for me, colostomy and stoma. My admiration for her, admiration of how she just took life on, played the hand she was dealt, and what an inspiration she was to not only me, but others, is how I will always remember and love her. OMG, I wish I had a cell phone back then so I could have shot a video of the fun we had.
And the tacos came out great!
Surprising my mom in November 2010
Cardinal Game - July 2006
Scratch offs
My mom loved to gamble and they had fun with scratch offs during one of our visits. Ron did not win a thing but wanted to make it look like it for the picture! My mom really thought he won something and when she figured out he was pretending, I'm pretty sure she called him an #*@# but it was all in fun. We had some good times together and she is going to be missed more than words can ever express.
Shannon's First Babysitter
Its always hard to leave your baby with a caregiver for the first time. But Sue offered to watch Shannon for me. I felt so comfortable leaving her with Sue,she was like Shannons other Grandma and cared for her with love and care just like Shannon was her own grandbaby. I know she will be greatly missed by her family friends !!! Well she was "ONE HELL OF A LADY" She will be watching over always. Thank you Sue for such wonderful memories of my life when I was a young scared mother. Love Susan
Mom and Dad's Wedding Day
Money Makers
Sue came to visit us one time in Germany. We were in the living room watching TV and, well, she walked by me and just reached over and grabbed my big toe and twisted it. The first thing I thought was, Oh you b@&th, did you really just grab my big toe???? Everyone knows not to mess with the "money makers". Normally when anyone gets close to my feet I will tuck them so no one will step on or kick them. When she did that I looked at Monica with the "Ron" look in disbelief. Even though she did that I still loved her. From that time on I was extra cautious whenever she was anywhere near my feet or even in the same room. LOL
My Mom and Dad
Memphis and Elvis
When Scottie was ten we went to Memphis to Tour the Presley house with Marvin, Sue and Ron. Sue and I looked stunning in our "Fro" for our hairdos. Ron and Marvin booked us in the cheapest motel in town to save money so they could buy souvenirs. The motel was so seedy that when we all went out on a bus tour of the city and returned at end of tour and the driver tried to drop us off at the motel, Scottie, Ron and Marvin got off and me and Sue waited for the next stop at a nicer motel and we walked back in that horrible neighborhood, just so people would not see us getting off at that stop. We laughed for many years about that!
Favorite Clothes
This was her favorite outfit. She had a jacket that went with the skirt! Years later she "borrowed" a denim dress from me that looked great on her and I never had the heart to take it back. We spent a lot of hours teasing our hair back then. This was taken in her old house upstairs in Baden. I helped her hang wet clothes in the back room when she still lived at home as a teenager while Connie was at work and then we hung clothes together in the same room for her babies years later.