Happy birthday my love! Dang you would be the big 41 today!!! I’d give you heck as usual but it’d all be out of fun. Here lately it’s been on my mind about how unfair it is that I’ve been through so much but I’m still here and you aren’t. I guess God has his reasons for everything though. I hope you are dancing up there though and I hope that you enjoy today. I love you 

Almost ten years has gone by…. I just posted some pictures of the twins and a recent one from when they went to South Padre with my parents. Gah, they remind me so much of you in so many ways. I’ve tried my hardest to raise them the way I said I would if something were to happen to you. I know at times I can be too strict, but I want them to do better then us and not have to want for nothing when they are on their own in this world. The kids are smart as heck and Devin has the opportunity to play ball in college if I can figure out how to get him out there more. I know he’s not the greatest but he can do things so easily and DeLaney can do school work like you wouldn’t believe which has her number two in their graduating class. I know sometimes they think I’m not proud of the things they do but in all truthfulness I’m beyond proud and when I think about the things they do I start to tear up because you aren’t here to share these times with us. I remember telling you and me telling you that if something happens to one of us we wouldn’t keep the kids from each others families and I’m not. I just got to a point where I allow them to choose what they want to do and I feel like I’m hated for that. Only if you were here things would be a whole lot easier with all of that and maybe I’d be more liked. Rest easy my love

I miss you rn mom. Not having anyone to tell my problems too it just feels like I’m going threw so much and it’s hard I wonder just what my life would be like if you were here I just feel like quitting on everything and just being alone not doing anything. Every single day I think and you and wonder if it’ll get better and it don’t. It’s like my life is over now. I love and miss you so much just wish I could see you

Tabitha, dang I miss you…. I haven’t been the same since you left this world and I hate that because I know you wouldn’t want that for me. I’m doing my best with the twins but they are getting older and I’m scared for them to enter the real world because I feel there’s still so much I haven’t shown them. They’re sophomores now and are doing great in school and in sports. DeLaney has your looks and attitude and Devin has your mannerisms and attitude. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about the memories we made and now how old you would be lol. The big 40! We try to go see you every chance we get but I work so much and sports sometimes makes it impossible. I love and miss you so much…

Happy birthday momma I love and miss you so much

Happy Birthday lil sister! Man I would love to see you on this day! I can only imagine how beautiful you would be! I can only imagine the laughs we would have today!!! Our memories are always close to my heart. I promise you not one day goes by that I don't think about u, momma and now Daddy! I love u. I will be letting off balloons tonight for you! You are always misses never forgotten! Love Mandy Jean xoxoxo

hey mom, it’s been 8 years now since you past away and it’s getting harder and harder by the day you’re not here. but i don’t think you’d be proud of how i’m turning out… i’m rarely happy, and if i am it’s because it’s temporary. my emotions just hide behind a face that i put on everyday because i don’t want anyone knowing how much i miss you. when i’m home alone, i sit and cry and think about all the things i could have done with you and a should have done. but , i was to selfish to spend more time with you. i know i was young and didn’t know you were dying but as your daughter i should have knew something was up. you were a happy soul and always had a smile on your face,i wish i was more like you. dad and nana tell me all the time that i’m staring to look and become just like you but i don’t see it. you mean everything to me. and i wish you could have taken better care of your self in the past, because maybe you’d still be here to mother me in becoming a women. but i’m doing fine myself i guess. my heart will forever have a huge chunk in from when you left to be with your mom. now poppy is there with you and grandma. seeing poppy in his death dead crushed my heart in little peace’s and i’m trying to gather it all up. it reminded me of when we were at your viewing and you were laying there lifeless. i told myself i wasn’t going to cry when i walked up to see you but the tears came rushing. the last thing poppy told me was he loved me. and i tell my self that’s the same thing you told told me too before you died. a few days before he past we were on facetime and he was telling me i’m beautiful and all of the above, and i couldn’t do nothing but cry. he knew he was dying and the whole family went to see him. his skin looked like plastic and he didn’t look like the old happy self he was. i will forever be thinking of you and what life may be if you were here. there was so many things i should have told you but didn’t… when i go to your grave my minds blank. i’m not sad and i’m not happy i’m just there. i don’t even like going to see your grave because it does nothing… it won’t bring you back and it’s not like your there to talk or even laugh and i need to realize that already. you’re dead …hmmm i don’t know what to say anymore. i miss you a lot rn yk and you’re not here with me .. your not here to cry on, you’re not here to see me grow , you’re not here to let me rant to you and it hurts a lot .. i want to know how you died but everyone says “ i’ll tell you when your older” but as your daughter i should know ,i should know the reason why are you aren’t here.. it’s beyond frustrating. and what hurts more is when people bring up there mom and talk about the things they did with them knowing i can’t do those things with you. i’ve passed all this year and i’m going to the academic banquet and i get to go to the nchs meeting because the teachers think i’ll make it to be in it next year. i do good in school because i don’t want to for sports .. but dad is focused on us doing our best but it’s hard sometimes to try and be my best for him try and make him proud. i’m maturing .. now i realize how to treat people and how to consider how they feel .. emily came into our lifes and i treated her so badly in the beginning and now we’ve grown really close and i’m proud of myself for that. i have a new friend and i love her and her family so much but everyone doesn’t see that she makes me happy she understands the pain i’m feeling and helps me get through it. i used to sh because it was a gateway and know i know that it doesn’t solve anything.. you feel the same pain your felt before you did it. she’s helped me in many ways that no one else seemed to be able to . she’s a good person and i’m grateful i got to know her and be close to her. i feel like you’d like her ..

Hey mom I just had my first district game and I started, we didn’t win but I played hard school is going good we’ve been doing tests and it’s boring. Dad is hard on me and idk how to take it sometimes I just wave sit and my room and cry I wish you where still here. I’ve started to read the Bible cuz I need god in my life rn I have my ups and downs. I hug from you would be amazing rn. Sometimes even my friends talk abt there mom I get sad because I will be never able to talk abt a mom. Goodnight I love you

Hey mom, I haven’t talked to you in a while and I’ve missed you a lot I wish I could have gotten to see you more and be your son, I get lonely sometimes because everyone talks about there mom and what they did for them, and I just wish you were here with me I’ve accomplished a lot of things I got a starting spot on varsity and I might be the starting quarterback next year I’ve been trying real hard but it feels like nothing is ever good enough to anyone I don’t like talk about you because I miss you and I don’t like crying in front of people, like I know you can see me right now crying but it’s hard not to it’s been 8 years and a lot had happened my dad gots a girlfriend named Emily and she’s alright she’s not he worst I’m sorry for how I treated her when we first met but I can’t now. Dad is not doing that good he has a lot of stress going on with his work. I got a little brother named Robert and he’s a terd sometimes but I love him DeLaney And him always fight. I just have a lot of questions about you but no one really says anything. Wela and grandpa have helped us a lot and so nana and aunt Mandy I wish I could send time them more but I can’t because we all kinda live far away. Lacey is Tia Alyahs girlfriend she’s real nice and does a lot for us i appreciate all the things she’s did for us even she don’t have to. I’ve been talking to uncle Mike more lately because I don’t to regret not talking to him like I did pawpaw and uncle Vernon uncle Mike is a fun guy he always tells me jokes and life lessons and his sorties. Everyone says that you and tio Joshua used to argue all the time and fight and that’s why I look like him:) this is all I have to say this time I love you and miss you a lot hope your having a good time in heaven watching over all of us before you know all of us will be with each other again making jokes laughing and telling sorties I love you mom.

Tabby Tabby Tab, it has been a long time since you past. Since then in just the last cpl of months Daddy pasted. Which I am sure you already know. We spread his ashes a cpl of weeks ago in Galveston while deep sea fishing. Everyone came except Jacob and Devin. Life gets busy sometimes we understand that. I'm so thankful for the time I got to spend with Julia and DD. April also yesterday was her bday dad's the day before. It's all just too sad to deal with. But we have too. God I do miss u so much! Love you forever lil sister!

So Today you would have been 38 years old. Its so sad that you are not here for us to have a party for you and to celebrate another year older.. I miss everything about you. I wish I could have been a better big sister. I really do!!! You have such awesome beautiful kids .They are so talented and so kind. I feel lost with out you.. No matter how much time has passed it still hurts like the night when April called. I knew when I picked up the phone before she even said a word that you were gone. Love you lil sister!! Xoxoxo Happy Birthday!, Mandy Jean!!

Tabby, we had the twins over last weekend. Chris and Emily came too. Oh yeah and lil Robert!! He is a cutie. Just wanted to say how much I love you and miss you and that your kids are soawesome and you would be so proud of their kind sweet souls. Landyn and I were bummed all day Monday.The last thing he said to me was that he wishes they didn''t have to go home. I told him me either!! Love you my heart breaks for you still to this day!!!! Lots of regrets!! :( xox your big sister

Boy it’s been a long time the kids are in the 7th grade. Delaney is beautiful as ever and Devin is 5’10 and very handsome. The other day I was talking to them about the day you were called home and the lights were flickering I couldn’t help but cry cause I know you are in a better place. I remember like yesterday that awful day  I love and miss you.  

Tabby, Hello beautiful! Well its now been 5 whole long years with out you!
 Well I know you are watching us closely and you see the happiness as well as our pains. Man have there been some pains. To many to count. All I know is that we are trying the best we can with what we have ..its not much at time but we have love. Lots of love. I never talk to April I guess we are just so busy. I don't feel as if she ever wants too. Which is fine I guess. I don't know What else to say or do. I love you sister!

Just sitting here thinking about you
 Well the kids are in the 6th grade you would not believe how tall they are
 DeLaney is a cheerleader in Whitharrel I know that would make you really proud and well Devin is taller then me and loves to play basketball. You would be so proud of both of them. They are so respectful
DeLaney is a little sassy sometimes but I think she for that from from you
Lol. I will do my best to ensure they can spend time with your family as well
 I love you and REST IN PEACE.

Hello Darling ,
I was just sitting here thinking about how much fun we had when the twins were here a couple of weeks ago. Man Christina is awesome she really wants them to be apart of our life. I can't thank her enough. Delaney is getting to grown up. She is So beautiful just as you were. And Devin takes after your shy self when you were little. Man times has flown by to fast. I want it to stop and rewind a not. I love and miss and wish you were here ! Xoxox my lovely little sister is missws every single day!!

Happy Late Heavenly Birthday.  Hope you spent it dancing in the heavens with your mom. 
Love You
until we meet again.

Happy Birthday to you sweet girl!!!! YOUR BIG SISTER and nephews really miss you and think about you every day. You know what kinda of stuff I have been dealing with. You know I am weak as anyone with this problem I am trying to stay positive . its not easy .I feel more alone than I ever have. Landyn takes me to one extream to the next. Mind blowing .how such a sweet little boy of mine can have so many crazy feelings. I sure hope you can see some change for us real soon . I don't know how much more I can take. I love you I am going to bed. I really wish you were here right now .even for one second. I miss you sis! Xoxox

My sweet sister that is in heaven. Its 2:56 am and I can't sleep. I am trying to suppress my heavy heart as endless tears run down my cheeks! I fill my chest filling up and I am crying harder and harder for you! I miss you damn it ! Can't anyone see my pain can anyone even begin to realize how many regrets I have!!!! I should have never left you! I will never forget when I drove off from April"s that day you standing there crying as I drove off and all of the dirt flying around. I should have known you were too weak for me too go. I mean what an idiot I am!!! How stupid was I .I mean our whole life I carried you. I made your decisions. You were with me all the time. We were never apart! Why could I have ever thought you would be able to be strong ! I was selfish and dumb . you kept on self medicating . and April kept on going to school and doing the best she can as always . Dad was Dad for whatever reason I have no clue why I made those choices to leave . I was just selfish . I am so sorry to everyone . Because I know for a fact if I would have stayed you would be here with me. With everyone. Because I would have NEVER HAVE LET YOU SLIP AWAY LIKE YOU DID! I am sorry to your twins to Chris April all of our kids dad Christina tommy gigi and papaw. Please help me see the reason why?????? But most of all I am sorry to you tabby for not being a big sister and being true to you as I always had. I love you little girl so much. You were always such a BEAUTY QWEEN! MY WHOLE HEART! XOXO

I thought about you more then ever yesterday... I hope you're doing well watching over us. I'm doing my best raising the twins and i have the greatest person helping me like you asked me to. The twins remind me more and more of you everyday. They miss you, i miss you... People say time heals things but i still feel bad sometimes and wish you were here. Please keep watching over us as we try and make it in this crazy world. We love you my beautiful queen...

Tabitha
It's hard to believe it's been 4 years.  the kids sure are getting big and you have 2 beautiful kids.  I know they miss their mom and I know they understand that you are at peace.  miss you and love you.

Happy Birthday we love you and Miss you. Forever in our hearts.

Fits into then! Man he loved you ! Any ways I just wanted to let you known how much we love and miss you! I love you all the way to Jesus and back my precious lil sister!! Xoxoxox your big sis, Mandy Jean !

Hello tabby it's getting closer to your birthday and so many feelings are starting to fill my chest & mind!! I just absolutely missing you like CRAZY!! I HAVE SO MANY REGRETS ! You know what they are! I will never ever forgive my self!
Tootie always always at random times will just say your sweet name or just remind me that I miss you! He will just say you really miss your sister don't you momma ? And with a big smile on my face with tears of sadness and happines run down my face I say yes I do son yes I do!
He. Remembers when you and Chris and the babies came down after Landyn birthday. And it was when Landyn loved to gabba gabba when you just had to get himand of a gift! It was his second birthday and you got him thoses under wear Tootie is six years old now and he still wears them every time HE know that they are just about to little bit he still asqwee

Hello sweet lil sister of mine! I have had u heavy on my heart and mind! I know you have been close lately! I feel your presence ! I appreciate it too! Every TIME we are a butterfly you know Tootie says there is tabby momma! The other day in the car HE wanted to just pray to Jesus for you ! One of the aweetiest things Landyn has ever told me was after his therapist meeting we go to this wishing well fountain and his wish was that the Lord would just bring u back for one more day so we could see you and hold you one last time! How sweet would that be! I thought this child of mine can see his momma is in pain! And he would even think to ask God for that for me ! We love u tabby and miss you beyond words could ever express! I will never forget u! Love you , your sister Mandy

Tabitha I miss you day after day and I'm sorry I wasn't able to make it out to lay flowers on this day.... work has just been busy and none of us are able to take off for a while. Happy Mother's Day to you, and I hope you and your mom are enjoying this day... Please watch over us like you've been doing and i promise you will never be forgotten. The kids talk about you all the time and always think back to the things we all did together or the things yall did. I get tickled when I hear some of the stories they remember and sometimes I cry. But continue to rest in peace. I love you

Tabitha it's a year since you left us. Everyday I think about you. Today has been difficult but I am trying to keep myself together. I love you and miss you. I would give anything to have another day with you. I feel like I failed you I am so sorry. Your kids are well taken care of and we talk about you all the time. I will never let them forget you. I love you. Till we meet again.

Well lil sister today it's been a year since you passed. Since then I have gotten to see your babies on a regular basis. Tommy and Christina has made sure of it! I am very thankful for them ! Devin and DeLaney love coming down and staying hopefully one day it will be for a cpl of weeks out of the summer! They are exceptional kids ! I don't know of two more well behaved bright beautiful on the inside and out children! You know I will see you again and mom. We just never know when that time will come. But for now all I can do is try and be a good mom and aunt for our kids! Christopher is doing good also! U really were such a wonderful person. I don't you had enough time to truly shine !*** but just know there will never be a day that goes by that I don't think of u ! My heart goes out to Devin and Delaney . I know u are with them Everyday. Tell moma I love and miss her too!! Oh yea I hope u got all 24 balloons we sent you with all of our letters inside ! We had a blast letting them go for u! Your big sister Mandy

I'm sorry it's been this long to write something but not a day, minute, or second goes by that I don't think about you or wanna talk to you.... I always tell the kids that you'll always be around cause you're in their heart and I'm thankful you laid a foundation with them while I was working and for that I wish I could hug you and kiss you... I love and miss you... Until we meet again...

To my dearest Tabby,
I will never have enough words to ever describe how much I truly LOVED and Adored you ! Growing up you were my whole world as I was yours. As I try to focus on the wonderful memories I have of you. I cant help but to break down and cry (so selfish )I know but ,Tabby you have left all of us way to early. So many mix emotions and regrets ! I will never forgive my self for being

I know things would have been different! I would have made sure nothing would have ever have went wrong. I hate the decisions that I have made ! I am so sorry I know how much that hurted you ! I still see you crying as I am pulling off from Aprils ! I am so sorry ! I love u so much to the moon and back. U will be missed and never forgotten ! Tell momma hi and we love and miss her ! Xoxox mandy