Tedra in Venice, Italy
Tedra L. Plane
  • 65 years old
  • Date of birth: Mar 22, 1947
  • Place of birth:
    Akron, Ohio, United States
  • Date of passing: Jun 13, 2012
  • Place of passing:
    Loveland, Colorado, United States
What are you waiting for? Do it Now!

To Our Dear Family and Friends,

 Tedra, our beloved wife, mother, grandmother and friend passed away at age 65 in her sleep in the early morning hours of June 13, 2012. Her husband Bo and her daughters, Amy and Samantha were present. While deeply, deeply saddened to lose her, we also feel a great sense of relief for Tedra finally being free from the body that caused her so much pain and suffering over her lifetime due to various illnesses and complications caused by a genetic blood clotting disorder, recently linked to a Methylenetetrahydrofolate (MTHFR) Reductase C667T gene mutation, which she, in her “jail talk,” affectionately referred to as the “Motherf _ _ _er Gene!”  

 Only the space of the vast cosmos can hold the enormity of her life and the multitude of lives that she touched with her generous and fierce grace. The impact of her life will continue to unfold for each of us in our own special way. Per her wishes she will be cremated and no specific memorial service or funeral will be held. As is fitting for the woman who traveled to every continent on the planet, lived in numerous places and developed and nourished an amazing worldwide network of friends, her memorial will be multi-locational. This means that in honor of her, we ask you to pause in your own way to reflect on who she is to you and how that will continue to live on within you and your life. Each of these paused moments, these individual memorials taking place around the globe, will be a network of light and love reaching out and reflecting back to her just how much of an impact she had and how much she is still and forever deeply, deeply loved.

 Tedra requested that if you feel you would like to make a contribution toward the memory of her life then please consider making a charitable donation in her name to either Pathways Hospice in Ft. Collins, Colorado or to the Larimer Humane Society in Ft. Collins, CO. (The address information and direct email donation links are at the end of this letter).

Tedra loved animals and rescued many from Humane Societies over the course of her life. In her final days she was the recipient of hospice care from Pathways, which was fitting for her because of her history with the organization. She co-founded hospice organizations in South Dakota and Wyoming and was a volunteer with various hospice groups for nearly 40 years and was passionate about working closely with the sick and dying because she understood the kind of terror and pain it brought to one’s life. Her most salient times were when she could provide the space of love and support to people in this way and this culminated in her recent three month volunteer mission to South Africa in the spring of 2010. Her work there with children dying of HIV/AIDS and people suffering from tuberculosis and other terminal or life threatening illnesses was, for her, one of the greatest experiences of her life. And that’s saying something considering her illustrious career as a mother, spouse, friend, and as a professional in the field of criminal justice.

 After earning her B.A. in psychology and pre-medicine she forged her way through a traditionally “male” dominated career and surprised many (and even herself) with her intelligence, compassion and successful progression which started with working as a parole officer before moving up to director positions such as, Director of Youth and Family Services for juvenile delinquents and Director of Educational Services and Job Development at a half-way house for recently released adult prisoners. As one former boss recently reminisced, Tedra is “sassy, sharp, educated, diligent and competent,” qualities which enabled her to pursue graduate studies in criminal justice and eventually moved her on to the executive positions of Warden of a 2,000 co-ed inmate jail and statewide Chief of Probation Services, as well as a Criminal Justice Consultant and Trainer for national organizations which she continued to do until recently.

 Beyond the public sector, Tedra also had a wide range of experiences in the private sector such as working for Wells Fargo Bank, being a Licensed Insurance Broker for Texas and Wyoming, being owner of a property management firm, as well as having a private counseling practice specializing in crisis therapy & post-traumatic stress and hypnotherapy. Of course it didn’t stop there, she also got her pilot’s license and flew her first solo plane in 1977, she raced sports cars which gave her the opportunity to meet Paul Newman, she was a member of MENSA, and she had a life-long interest in aliens and was a member of MUFON (Mutual UFO Network) doing research and investigation.

 Needless to say her life was anything but ordinary and anyone that knew her knew that she didn’t take life for granted and her motto of “Do It Now!” led her to continually push the boundaries of convention and face fear directly by always taking the risk to be alive and live a full life. She did this and taught us all (sometimes with a big kick in the ass) to do it too. And in facing every difficulty, malady, or challenge she often repeated the words of her father, “this too shall pass.”

 Who else but Tedra would get in her car, just days ahead of the moving truck, and leave the mid-west for the east coast with no job, no house, no specific destination because she wanted to be near the ocean and have a change? Who else but Tedra would commute at least 4 hours (one way) a day from Connecticut to New Jersey for a job because she was dedicated to her professional career and didn’t want to make her younger daughter move again in the middle of the school year? Who else but Tedra kept the U.S. Postal Service in business with her phenomenal ability to keep in contact with every person she ever met by sending love gifts and cards for every occasion and birthday, or postcards from every place she traveled? Who else but Tedra, who didn’t “believe in linear time,” would have nearly 50 clocks ticking and chiming away in her house? Who else but Tedra zapped out every electronic device she came into contact with? Who else but Tedra could take down a room with her beauty and class while carrying so much physical pain and illness? Who else but Tedra would rip out her IVs, leave the hospital against medical advice and come home and mow the lawn? Who else but Tedra would flash her badge or use her professional contacts to monitor or screen her daughters’ friends and boyfriends? Who else but Tedra collected hundreds of canes long before she ever needed to use one to maintain her balance? Who else but Tedra kept the spirits and bellies of whole neighborhoods of people fed with soup or graciously hosted 30+ person sit-down dinners (with food enough for 60) sending every guest home with doggie bags and gifts? You’d best be careful entering her house and showing a like for or interest in something because you’d end up taking it home with you.

 There is no way to truly capture her—to capture the essence that is Tedra. She is a force that moves you to find places in yourself that you never knew you had—places of love, of rage and anger, or hidden secrets, and untold truths. She is there at the ready to shine a mirror to help us see more clearly (this is why she filled her house with mirrors!). She is a dreamer, seeker, truth teller and she fought to be a full human being every moment of her life.

 In closing we’d like to share a quote that was sent to Tedra and Bo by the minister that married them because she felt it so clearly reflected the human being that is Tedra:

 

To Be a Full Human Being

By Morris West

 It costs so much to be a full human being that there are very few who have the enlightenment or the courage to pay the price…One has to abandon altogether the search for security, and reach out to the risk of living with both arms. One has to embrace the world like a lover. One has to accept pain as a condition of existence. One has to court doubt and darkness as the cost of knowing. One needs a will stubborn in conflict, but apt always to total acceptance of every consequence of living and dying.

 Source: The Shoes of the Fisherman

 

 Dearest Tedra, we will miss you terribly and we love you more than the magnitude of earthquakes and the tidal pull of the moon.

 Thank you all for being a part of her dynamic, generous, wild, crazy-loving life.

 With much sadness, love and gratitude,

 

 Bo, Amy & Samantha

 

 
Memorial Information:

 

Here are optional ways to honor Tedra if you so choose.

 

Charitable Donations

 

  Pathways Hospice, Community Care for Northern Colorado

            Memorial Donations

            305 Carpenter Road

            Ft. Collins, CO 80525

            Phone: 970-663-3500

http://www.pathways-care.org/Donations/Memorial-Donations-and-Gifts.php 

 

 Larimer Humane Society

5137 S. College Ave.

Ft. Collins, CO 80525

Phone: 970-530-2947

http://www.larimerhumane.org/donate/memorialstributes

 

 Please write “Tedra L. Plane” in the memo line of your check or on a separate piece of paper if mailing in your donation. If you make a donation online, please include her name in the space provided.

 

 

 

 

Memorial Tributes
This tribute was added by Amy Gravett on 23rd March 2015

"My little mommy girl,
It doesn't feel like your 2nd birthday and going on 3 years since you've been gone. Your absence is still a pervasive presence in my life.  So many things remind me of you.  I miss you each day and love you muchly.  Love, Amy"

This tribute was added by marlie eyre on 14th June 2014

"Time has gone by so fast. I also cannot believe it has been two years. I still think of you every day and take inspiration from your "just do it" attitude to life. I know you're still there when I talk to you - I know you're still listening. I'll miss you always."

This tribute was added by Jovalle Puhrmann on 13th June 2014

"Hard to believe it has been 2 years since you passed...I still miss you like it was yesterday."

This tribute was added by peter lyons on 24th March 2014

"we were coming back from somewhere. maybe just poking along the coast. anyway it was our last stop before heading back. we walked on the small bit of sand and onto the breakwater, it was late afternoon the bright day dimming. we decided to check out the menu at the Madison Inn there. maybe get a little something to take the cold off. the restaurant was up stairs and even though it was late autumn she wanted to sit out on the veranda. so we did. I went down got more coats from the car and we sat there in the Adirondack kinda lounge chairs, coats tucked around us like blankets, watching the Atlantic do amazing things with the sky and saying small things I cannot not now remember. We ordered lobster bisque. I had never had lobster bisque before. She tasted hers and said whoa this is the best lobster bisque in the world. And it was.




I had always thought I get one more chance to meet Tedra  have a proper chat about the grail, the UFO, hypnosis and the black cross and seven roses on a filed of emerald green. The day I learnt of her passing I played China Cat Sunflower/I know you rider from the Grateful Dead Europe 72 album over and over. I don’t think she was a  fan but the song for some reason reminded me to her quite strongly on the day. the joy ,the sense of humour, the sorrow, intense and ever moving forward.



I am grateful to have known her. I am grateful to her family for letting me know about her death and about her life. by checking this page I have learned a little more about  Tedra. and the more I learned the more I realised what an honour it was to have known her.

many years ago I went with her to "tour" this prison in new jersey. it was a pretty disastrous place. I think the state was being fined thousands of dollars per day due to the conditions there. she was being offered a position which would put her, more or less  in charge of fixing it. it was fairly grim. on the way out we stopped on the front steps. I asked her something like why would you want to deal with this? There was portico with a bit of grubby glass to hardly let some light in.  A bird had gotten a little confused began trashing about in it and eventually, as we walked on, flew out.  see that. she said, a white dove. that’s why.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbsON4rci6U

Grateful Dead I Know You Rider Lyrics
Songwriters: KAUKONEN, JORMA
I know you, rider, gonna miss me when Im gone;
I know you, rider, gonna miss me when Im gone;
Gonna miss your baby, from rolling in your arms.
Laid down last night, lord, I could not take my rest;
Laid down last night, lord, I could not take my rest;
My mind was wandering like the wild geese in the west.
The sun will shine in my back door someday.
The sun will shine in my back door someday.
March winds will blow all my troubles away.
I wish I was a headlight, on a north bound train;
I wish I was a headlight, on a north bound train;
Id shine my light through cool colorado rain.
I know you, rider, gonna miss me when Im gone;
I know you, rider, gonna miss me when Im gone;
Gonna miss your baby, from rolling in your arms.

Lyrics By: Robert Hunter
Music By: Jerry Garcia
Look for a while at the China Cat Sunflower
proud-walking jingle in the midnight sun
Copper-dome bodhi drip a silver kimono
like a crazy-quilt star gown
through a dream night wind
(note 1)
China cat
China cat
China cat
China cat
Krazy Kat peeking through a lace bandana
like a one-eyed Cheshire
like a diamond-eyed jack
A leaf of all colors plays
a golden string fiddle
to a double-e waterfall over my back
Comic book colors on a violin river
crying Leonardo words
from out a silk trombone
I rang a silent bell
beneath a shower of pearls
in the eagle winged palace
of the queen Chinee"

This tribute was added by Samantha Wall on 22nd March 2014

"Happy old birthday mom. Thank you for giving me this morning:

March 22, 2014

This morning I woke before the sun
as you would do
stumbled around in the dark trying not to wake the house
you would have turned on every light
emptied the dishwasher with the sound
of dishes and silverware knocking against our sleep
or started a pot of soup
cutting meat and vegetables into aromas to wake us up
so the beauty of your morning could become ours

Perhaps that is why this morning
I started a poem:
“Today I will live
in the deliciousness of memory”
and could write no other lines
because the memories had not come
but then

I heard the sound of your voice in my body
the powerful undertow it had
to pull me toward a palpable vastness
to level people before they were made
as if its surety is what kept you in your body all those years
I smelled a Village Inn morning
red vinyl booths and maple syrup
a stack of pancakes and waitresses who greeted you by name
as if the surety of breakfast kept me safe all those years

As I sat before the early morning sky trying to reach you
I grew tired and had to lie down
in the dull disappointment that these gestures
of trying to reach you
on your second birthday of being gone
were not going to fill the void
were not going to bring me the touch
of your hand holding mine or my head against your breathing chest

For these are the things I miss most
our moments of direct contact, flesh to flesh, body to body
For these are the tomes of mother
pages of life written into being
grown from the ink of a mother’s physical body

When the body is gone
there is only a faint trace of memory
invisible attempts to capture your voice
with my pen, failing to give words
to the way it sheltered you and protected me

There is only the tattered remnants of your pink blankie
wrapped around my neck
the same object you held
to reach your mother’s departed body

My disappointment found its way
into the opaqueness of the morning
I thought for sure since I was up for the sunrise
your thing—even though I was tired
that I would get one of those Colorado rises
the ones you awoke to and tried to share with us
in words that could not convey the color
the mystic boldness that glittered across
the waters of Horseshoe Lake
and into your eyes

But no, this rise of mine had no grandeur
I stayed with it, stayed with the longing to have you beside me
I got my journal and my pen
and settled into one patch of lightness

I wrote:
“the sun rise is muted, opaque with watery sediment causing a dull white hue.
there is one soft spot of orange and purple light—a tiny slit of sky pierced with opening—like the little scar on my belly where my gallbladder used to be.”

When I lifted my eye from the page
the small slit had become the rising sun
a delicate bulb of light held by the shadow of the murky morning
my heart rose with it, light and buoyant with sediment

and this I realize is
what it is
to live with the truth
of your life
and death"

This tribute was added by Jovalle Puhrmann on 22nd March 2014

"The Anniversary of your birth is today. I am sure you are listening. When I wind my clock and listen to it chime I think of you. Love you and miss you. Your little sister."

This tribute was added by Gino Gravett on 9th January 2014

""Tedra,
I miss your being here in person but you are ever present in my life through memories of your scents and sense, your generousness of time and reminders of your travels that take me around the world with you.""

This tribute was added by Patty Powers on 9th June 2013

"It's almost a year since you passed and very few days go by that I don't think of you.
Thank you for coming into my life! You were, and are, my teacher, my friend. I was blessed to have you in my life. I will always miss you.
Till we meet again, I love you!"

This tribute was added by Amy Gravett on 22nd March 2013

"My dear mommy-girl...
Today is your re-birth day and I am secure in knowing you are joyous and well and finally at peace.  Yet I grieve. Not for you, but for the absence of you. I feel your absence so very much on this, your 66th birthday.  I feel your love and I want to thank you for our dreamtime.  -your little Amy-girl"

This tribute was added by Kim McCloud on 22nd March 2013

"Happy Birthday Tedra!  Thinking of you on this day especially and missing you!"

This tribute was added by Jovalle Puhrmann on 22nd March 2013

"Happy Birthday Tedra. You are a part of my life that I will cherish forever. I think and dream of you often. Love always from your little sister Jovalle"

This tribute was added by Judith Blackburn on 22nd March 2013

"Tedra, I understand that today is your 66th birthday.  Although I wrote a small tribute earlier, I want to check in today to send you love and light (and to receive some from you). You touched me very deeply when you were on this side.  I look forward to our reunion!  JUDITH"

This tribute was added by Judith Blackburn on 3rd December 2012

"Dear Tedra, it has taken me these five months to get used to you being gone from this earthly plane(no pun intended) I knew you such a short time, yet received so many kindnesses from you--everything from soup to UFO books! I'm reading one of those books now and very much feeling that you are visiting me by means of your underlines and marginal comments.  Thank you so much.    Love, JUDITH"

This tribute was added by Bonnie Wagner-Westbrook on 5th August 2012

"I am so sorry that I never had the opportunity to meet Tedra.  I did, however, have a good sense of who she was and what she meant to so many, many others through Bo's stories and the beautiful memorial created for her here.  She was a vibrant, beautiful and deeply caring individual who left this existence her gifts of love, compassion and an urgency to succeed. You are missed, Tedra."

This tribute was added by Robert Slepicka on 13th July 2012

""Grieving is the price of Love" a wise person once observed.  There must be many grieving, because so many loved Tedra, including me.  She bestowed many kindness on me, as well as countless others.  She will not be forgotten."

This tribute was added by brenda hendrick on 12th July 2012

"Tedra spent many hours with us at Breede River Hospice in South Africa and we became close friends over time.  She did so much to help us especially with fundraising.  On Mandela Day 18 July we are feeding underprivileged children in our district as part of the national do something for someone campaign. This is in honour of our dear friend Tedra.  We miss you much."

This tribute was added by Kim McCloud on 9th July 2012

"I knew the first time I met Tedra that she was an incredible and exceptional lady. I feel blessed to have known her and been a small part of her last months.  I am still in awe of the way she carried herself and treated others in the face of such adversity and pain. I have also never eaten so much delicious soup!!  It is true that she will be forever missed and loved."

This tribute was added by Michael Aratingi on 8th July 2012

"Tedra was a wonderful person. We loved being with her and Bo on Tannery Hill.
She was such an accomplished person, and witty and decent and sincere. We can't believe all the things she did in her short lifetime, which marks her as a very modest person indeed.
She will be sorely missed by all. Michael and Jean"

This tribute was added by Val Bogattchouk on 7th July 2012

"Dear Tedra,
You have been such an inspiration for us.  Will always love you.
Val and Ivana"

This tribute was added by Suzette Willemse on 7th July 2012

"Tedra, I remember you as a caring person. Sharing your life with others and spending your time giving to the world!  What a wonderful legacy you left behind.  Thank you for sharing your life with us, South Africans and specifically the people of Robertson in the Western Cape Province."


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This memorial is administered by:

Samantha Wall

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