Hi Hon,
 Wanted to say I love you & miss you so much, but I'm sure you know that. Sorry I haven't been on much. Someimes it's just to painful to write things down. Also with the girls having kids & trying to get out of house more it's rough.

You'll be happy to know that We will be getting a inground Pool within a few weeks. It's has been in the works for a few months now. Jamisson is 5 & Ellie will be 16 soon? Tomorrow Abby turn 3 & in Aug. Nate turns 2. You would love them all so much. Can't believe sometimes that we have 4 Beautiful & Amazing Grandkids. Oh I got the kids a new huge playset all wood. It will be put up on the 27th I will take pictures of it & the pool. For now here is what they should look like....

I'm sure you know by now that DJ has joined you. I feel so bad for your Sister & our Niece. 

I'm really trying hon to do more & stay out of our bedroom so much, but it's hard. So many days leave the room. I have to force myself to leave our room. I wish you were here.
We will write more when I can. Love & miss you. 
Your loving wife Karen 

Hi Hon,
It's 4:19 AM on 9-18-2015 I'm sitting here missing something awful. I can't sleep I know what else is new. If you were here I know that you would at least hold me for a little while & try & help me fall asleep like you did so many times. Of cause in a few minutes I would hear you snoring & that would be the end of me falling asleep until you got up for work. I miss that bathroom light shinning in my eyes.  Of cause I hate it when you were here. I never understood why you didn't shut the door. Guess you just wanted to annoy me in your own way. What I wouldn’t do to have that light keeping me awake or waking me up.

There’s so much I want to tell you. So much has happened damn Tom why did you have to go? I got to get off here I can’t see the screen through my tears. I love my sweetheart. 

The date 09/11 (September 11th) use to be a day of sadness & remembering the loses of people & the loss of feeling safe for me. The world became a different place & every anniversary I would think of that & pray for all &wish things were different.

Since September 11th, 2012 I think of this date 09/11/ every day I can't get it out of my head or get away from it. I hear it or see it every day. I truly hate to see or hear those numbers. 

On September 11th, 2012 at 6:15 AM on Highway I-10 Eastbound, Right Lane, 106 Feet East of Yellow Water Road in Jacksonville, FL my world ended when my Husband Tom (Red) Anderson was killed in a horrendous vehicle (so called) accident. It has been 3 years & yet it hurt as much if not more if that is possible. I miss Him more then words can say. The pain is unbearable at times. I never knew anything could be like this. I still go around in a light fog, which I don't know if I will ever get out of.  

Yes I function, but it's only a good acting job. Inside I feel empty, I can't go or do anything without thinking of Him & what He would think or be doing. Sometimes I think that He will be home in a little while, I must call Him or ask Him something and then I remember He's gone & I can't do that. I cry, scream, throw things & yet it only helps at the time. Life goes on, but to me I'm going through the motions. I have been trying to go out & do more with my family, but at times it takes all I can to do it, because I see my Grands & I know how much He would of loved them & the fun He would of had with them. I know our Girls miss Him so much & it hurts me not to be able to help get through this. I know it is most likely upsetting to them when I talk about Him. I can't help it I don't mean to add to their pain. I just want to talk about Him.

I'm sure He is watching us & has been around, but it's not the same. Let me tell Grief never ends you simply just become a very good actor & try to hide the truth of how you feel. Time Does Not Heal a Damn Thing! The only thing worse then losing a Spouse is losing a Child I have been told. Bless all of you who have lost a Child & those who have lost both. I don't think I could ever handle it.

OK I have said what I wanted. Tom I love & Miss you more then I could ever say or show. 

                                                            By Karen T Anderson
                                                                    09/11/2015 

Here is something else I wrote.....

This is how I felt on the day I wrote it.

On this day Tom would always do or get something special for me. Of He had to always ask what was wrong first, since He never could remember the date. He always seemed to know just the right thing to say at times like this. I  certainly wish He was here right now . I could really use those great big arms to hold me!

I do not like today at all it is a very sad day for me & others I know.  43 years ago today my Father passed when I was 17 & He was only 48 yrs old. He was very sick & even though it hurt it was also a blessing knowing He was no longer in pain. Also on this day 19 years ago one of my dearest friend's 14 yr old Son passed. I think I might try to sleep the day away. 

Tom please say Hi to my Father & Scott. I hope my Dad knows what a wonderful Son In-Law you were.  Miss you all.

Tom really liked this one.....

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight. 
I am the soft stars that shine at night. 
Do not stand at my grave and cry, 
I am not there; I did not die. 

Don't think of him
as gone away-
his journey has just begun
life holds so many facets-
this earth is only one...



Just think of him as resting
from the sorrows and the tears
in a place of warmth and comfort
where there are no days and years.


Think how he must be wishing
that we could know today
how nothing but our sadness
can really pass away


And think of him as living
in the hearts of those he touched...
for nothing loved is ever lost-
and he was loved so much.


by-E. Brenneman