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Memorial video:

March 4, 2013
December 18, 2012
Monika, we were so glad to be a part of the memorial service. Kevin said it was the first old soul memorial service he had every been to and really enjoyed the silence. He felt that Tim transmitted how the breath can get one in touch with the divine. He described it as an ecstatic moment.    I felt that I was able to go into a meditative state and went to the river between physical and non-physical reality that Mukund was singing about. I also saw a new side of Tim since I hadn't seen him in his work settings before. I saw how he brought his spiritual values into a work culture where that was absent and he touched so many people with his generosity. 

Love,
Sonora 

Gratitude for the Breath

December 18, 2012

Tim joined us for Thanksgiving some years back.  My mother was there and she made us go through the ritual of each person saying something they were thankful for.  Most of us were self-conscious and eager to get it over with and muttered something about how we were thankful for our families and friends.

Not Tim.  When it came to be his turn, Tim shared his great enthusiasm for "the breath."  I gather that breath had been the key focus of his meditation practices, a spiritual teacher for him.  I don't recall his words, but I recall the enthusiasm, the sense of poetry, of a force that united us all.  He had our full attention, speaking from the heart about something really important to him.

So as a tribute to Tim I'd like to share this poem by Rilke which was quite in keeping with Tim's praise of Thanksgiving.  His breath has joined with ours, we carry on his breath in our own,  Let us always be thankful for it.

The Sonnets To Orpheus: Book 2: I

Breathing: you invisible poem! Complete
interchange of our own
essence with world-space. You counterweight
in which I rythmically happen.

Single wave-motion whose
gradual sea I am:
you, most inclusive of all our possible seas-
space has grown warm.

How many regions in space have already been
inside me. There are winds that seem like
my wandering son.

Do you recognize me, air, full of places I once absorbed?
You who were the smooth bark,
roundness, and leaf of my words. 


Translated by Stephen Mitchell 

Rainer Maria Rilke

 

my wall is aglow

December 15, 2012

Dearest Timo,

     This happens frequently, your glowing face on my kitchen wall keeps my head going right to left like the carriage of a typewriter from yesteryear. My computer is set on a table in the kitchen and you are within arms reach just to the right of where I sit. A most enjoyable smile you shine for me, so enjoyable in fact my head is diverted along with my eyes to your face every 20 seconds, quite sensibly believing one of these turns will catch you blinking or perhaps actually talking to me. There's no doubt of the glow coming from the photo, but this wall is painted white. Was painted white until this warming glow has given in to more like the flesh of a juicy mango. I know how you've warmed the hearts and lives of friends along the way, but this new talent to warm my kitchen wall is ever so impressive and much appreciated. Always innovation, and now, this beautiful warm glow speaks volumes of your endless breath.
    I say Thank You, thank you very very much. I am so grateful to have you in my kitchen, warm in this special spot, while behind me out the window windy rain seems to chill all those walking outside, only a breath away from my kitchen.
    Sometimes I believe that you are going to burst forth again. Is it possible that so much beautiful energy can implode and out comes ....... You?

     Again, Thank you kind Sir, thank you very much.
                 Amelia 

Thich Nhat Hanh

December 9, 2012

Dear Monikaji, today Sunday, December 9th, in the Lower Hamlet at about 1pm local time, Tim's name shall be read out by Thich Nhat Hanh and Tim shall be chanted for by the entire assembled monastic community of Village Des Pruniers in SW France, the great bell shall sound three times in his memory. 

Thinking of you dear love, wrapped in the suns warm hugs and many butterfly kisses, Joji xoxox

You are deeply loved and appreciated

December 7, 2012
Dear Tim,   I wanted to take a moment to express how deeply loved and appreciated you are. Your humor, care and trust has helped me more than I could possibly say: You make this world a much lighter place. Please know that I'm thinking of you, sending you nothing but love and positivity during this trying time. My heart goes out to you and Monika.   Much, much love, Sara  

Friendship and work

December 7, 2012
Tim,

We've talked about so many fantastic ideas and stories regarding work, life, family, and friendship. I deeply enjoy these conversations and I hope to have more of those with you. You may never fully understand the impact you've had on me in such a short time, so I wanted give you some perspective now. 

When we met last year I felt an immediate connection with you. The journey you took early in life to learn more about yourself and the world around you and how it framed your perspective for every experience afterward really resonated with me. I love your independence and I enjoyed hearing your stories where you challenged the status quo or others directly when you believed in something. We also shared stories of personal tragedies we've experienced and those discussions will remain with me for the rest of my life. 

As a mentor, what has fascinated me most about you is how you have such awareness of yourself and your surroundings, while being able to focus on so many details simultaneously. For many years I've been striving to achieve many things you seem to do so easily and it will remain a virtue for me. I am also extremely grateful for the amazing trust and belief you've shown in me and I will remember this every day.

A few months ago we discussed the topic of friendship and how much it means to both of us. Most people separate their professional and personal lives. I believe friendship can transcend these social barriers with special people. It's so amazing when this happens. I believe our lives intersecting happened for a reason. For me, after my father died, you filled a very important physical and spiritual void for me. This, more than anything else, is what I think of when I think of you. Your kindness and open heart will never be forgotten. 

Thank you for your friendship. 

Kevin

You are a great man

December 7, 2012
Tim,   You are a good man, no you are great man. It does not take years of friendship and experience to recognize this, as I have seen this through the admiration, love and respect of your friends.  Know that my family’s love and prayers are with you. You are truly loved. It is not just our actions and our deeds that make us, who we are, but rather the lives that we touch in ways that go beyond our years. Tim your legacy will live on, no doubt, but be strong, be strong my friend.   If I may share something candid about you, that puts a smile on my face every time I think about you… From day one I have likened you to Phil Jackson, the Zen master. You have way about you that relaxes people around you, so the nervousness is removed, and one tends to be inspired without you trying. This is one of the reasons I have stated I miss being around you guys sitting here on the West Coast. To be around your energy, your leadership, your Zen.    Sincerely,  
Oran Turner

All the best! by Sebastian, October 12, 2012

December 2, 2012

Hello Moni,
Hello Tim,

I don't know how to start this mail, but since i heard the news I can't stop thinking about the time in and around Boston and the short time in Germany and the impact you two had. You were so balanced so full of live enjoying every moment so much. When I thought about this, you guys, and especially Tim, is the reason why i now live in Berlin and work in an entrepreneurial environment. When Tim talked about his work, his studies or his theater projects It always seems to be a perfect life. He is for me the perfect role model, don't live a life where you have to work but rather live a life and have a job you love and enjoy each minute to the maximum. 

I started this mail two days ago and today I heard the great news about your wedding. Even in these circumstances it seemed to have been the perfect wedding and when I read the mail from you Moni, I was moved to tears. The love you two have is something I like to find in someone in my life.

I wish you two all the best. Tim and Moni thank you both for this for me extremely valuable experience.

Sebastian

Life at 3668 SF CA

December 1, 2012

Oh the Joy!!  The blessings I had on almost a daily basis, blessings I thought were simply perks of living in such an eclectic household, now turn out to be golden treasured memories.

Timo came with arms full of groceries, fine, fine Wines, walked heavy yet perpetually smiled so innocently who could say the floor was shaking when he crossed through the living room heading for the kitchen where 5, even 6 bags of delectable specialities slid off of only two arms. Gourmet treats covered the table and overflowed on chairs, massive amounts spilled on the counter top, yes! Tim had brought dinner!!

Those were the days my friend.

During a year and a half period, give or take some, when I moved in in1998 until  Moni's departure to Manhattan, Christmas of 1999,  Boy! Did I see the Good Life.

Because Moni and I and Sam lived together, Timo would not come over with tickets just for he and Moni, No! generous soul that he is, would extend an invitation to myself as a guest. Would I like to see Kabuki Theatre too? Would I like to accompany them to Fort Mason to see an unusual play? Would I perhaps accept this lovely raincoat? Have I tasted this fantastic wine yet? 
The offers of generosity never slowed, the hearty laughs never ceased, and my fondness for the good life was never going away.

That period of time, not blurred by a decade, still reigns stellar for me to think back upon. Down to earth times as well as the festive, all this and more came into our home every time Timo came for a visit. And when Tim came, other things opened up too, wondrous stories I never wanted to end, meeting his beautiful Mother and one of his sisters, watching him easily pick up a 70lb thick suitcase packed to the gills so he'd only have 'one' to carry, the twinkle I'd see in Moni's eyes whenever he was there, the firm hug of friendship when they departed, a pair of black cotton socks too small for him but fit me perfectly, I still have those cotton socks, grey now but a sharp black when first purchased in Japan. "They don't make anything in my size in Japan." He said, 'maybe they'll fit you, they're all cotton.'

Yes, they fit. They fit and feel so comfortable Tim, that I wish you had a chance to wear them too.

Thank you for coming into my life Timo, sharing what you could, and now with a breath of kindness I can blow all of my sharing back to you.

From Ashram to IBM......... you're the only one Tim!

eternal love,
Amelia


Your Cosmic Twin Maria

December 1, 2012


Tim had love and grace in his life.  He had the gift of knowledge, the connection and deep understanding about the simple grace of being alive.  I am happy that I did get a chance to see Tim in Long Beach for a quick moment of an embrace and hello were many came together to be in the company of Maharajiji.  I think it was sometime in late July of this year and little did I know it will be the last time I will see Tim, my cosmic twin.  He will be missed. 

Maria Echavarri- we met Maria through a good astrologer friend in Germnay. He said: 'Tim you have to meet your cosmic twin'.
Maria's birthday is on  the same date and time then Tim's only she was born in Argentina. 

November 30, 2012

Timothy Francis O'Brien wrote this in 2006:

Past I Present...to Future (A Moment to Lose)

I struggle with the moment upon me. It is an overwhelming sense - the profound impact of the present moment. It surrounds me- not letting me escape. Each breath anchors me; slowly inhaling and then relaxing into the exhale as it goes. A Hightened sense of awareness- taking everything aroubd me- so clearly.
 
Nothing has ever been so evident. Not wallowing in spent memories. Not waiting. Not anticipating. No expectations of what is about to be. Everything is already here- it is happening. Keep the eyes open, breath in the rhythm of stillness.

Somehow I am caught in an existential pause which causes  me to shudder with ferocious intensity.

'The chili plant is blooming' by Edward Hanapole

November 30, 2012

The story of the chili plant:

The day Tim and Monika got married in the hospice, I had about 40 plants brought into the room of which quite a few were chili plants. Tim loved, just loved spicy food and was so proud of how many raw and cooked and marinated chilies he could eat. The Thai and Indian cooks from restaurants all over the world he visited would come out of their kitchens to see who was the guy who could eat more chilies then they had ever seen. 


I took one of the chili plants home to Florida to have it as a memory and to plant it  in our garden.

This morning, after I had worked all night long without any sleep on the video I am making in Tim's honor, which will be shown at the Memorial and then posted on this website, the chili plant was blooming! See for yourself on the photo. Amazing!!!  

'I had a dream last night' by Susanne Brückner

November 30, 2012

The photo was taken by Monika on Susannes first night out in Boston. Tim introducing her to all kinds of foods that she had never tasted before. He was in his element and Susanne thrilled.

Gestern Nacht hab ich geträumt, dass ich wieder in Cambridge bin und mit dir und Tim beim Abendessen (Spätzle natürlich) sitze. Als ich aufgewacht bin, hatte ich ein Lächeln auf dem Gesicht, weil Tim in meinem Traum gerade erzählt hat, was er am liebsten in der Wirtschaft (war es Linde?) in Bad Schussenried gegessen hat. Das ganze auf halb englisch, halb deutsch, was eine total lustige Mischung gegeben hat und wir haben alle gelacht. Als lustigen Geschichtenerzähler werde ich Tim immer in Erinnerung behalten. 
Ich hab noch ein Bild von euch beiden in den Anhang gesteckt. Das war als ich das erste mal mit euch zum Yoga bin.

Susanne is a relative from Germany. She just spent 6 month in Boston as an intern at Harvard Medical School. We shared wonderful times with her and ate delicious southern German meals, which she cooked. In her dream yesterday night, she was with Tim and Monika in her apartment eating 'Spätzle'. Tim told Susanne with enthusiasm what he ate at particular restaurant in Monika's hometown. Tim told the story in half English half German with her.  We all laughed, as his use of both languages together was very entertaining and funny. Wee took Susanne to our Sunday yoga class. It was the first time ever that she ever took a yoga class. And: she signed up for 10 classes.

'First time meeting Tim' by Douglas Heise

November 30, 2012

It occurred to me me today that Jinny - my wife - and I would never have met if not for Tim. He sponsored the SITI workshop that we both attended. 

I remember so clearly the first time I saw Tim.  I actually saw him quite a few years before I properly met him.  I was in the last year of my undergraduate Drama degree at Stanford and he had just returned to finish his graduate degree (1990 I believe). I was auditioning for an experimental theatre production. Tim had already been cast. The audition was a group improvisation. Tim was dressed in a pristine white suit and his hair was slicked back. He moved silently around the rehearsal space. He didn't say a word but his presence was compelling. A one point he stepped out the window onto the roof of the building. It would be another 6 or 7 years before we would meet again but I would never forget my first impression.

Tim was one of the most genuine and caring men I have ever met. Jinny and I spent almost a week with him in New York back when we were both working for Content Group. He was so generous and kind and so eager to show us the city. I can also say with all honesty that Tim was responsible for orchestrating one of the most exciting days of my life. We were in NY on business for both Modus and the Content Group. We had a morning meeting at the United Nations and afternoon meeting in Soho with the Wooster Group. That would never have happened without Tim. He was truly fearless and could make marvelous things happen.

November 21, 2012

Tim:

I work in a high school now and this morning, with the notice from Blake, I walk through the halls with a little more urgency in challenging our students to care for each other, to think deeply and laugh at themselves and “compose a better song.” (Jethro Tull)

I know you can see these tributes.

I want to remember more clearly when you worked with me on the bowling scene in your directed play our senior year.  It was cited as the reason I won the drama award our senior year.  I want to remember more clearly your ability to fill the lane on the basketball court allowing Irmiter (or your brother) to score. I want to remember more clearly the football game where we were up by a bunch and a third stringer from the other team came running in and was yelling at the top of his lungs to encourage his team in an out-of-reach game and you yelled back “would you just relax!” and Fraley started laughing so hard we were called for offsides.

I want to remember more clearly late nights getting pictures from the darkroom out for the paper and the yearbook and walking into the newspaper classroom with you in that fortress of an editor’s desk asking me some off the wall question for which only you knew the philosophical answer.

I want to remember how you brought out an innovative side in so many people who came into contact with your creativity.

There was (and is) always a brighter side of this world exposed by humor as your friends attest in the unbelievable footprints you have left all over this planet.  I have not met Monika but I see in between the lines of the pictures on your slide show a soul and spirit mate. I am not a huge fan of thinking outside the box but have learned from people like you O B that the box is much larger than we could ever imagine. As you rest with the saints and the sacred quiet of what lies in front of all of us, please let me know, with your creative voice, as we face our own mortality, what it is to “lean upon Him gently.” (Jethro Tull)


Don Clarke TBS '75 

To the (second) original existentialist

November 20, 2012

Tim and I were in high scool together, at Blake -- I have wondered where he went over the years -- I was in that play at Northrop, I think it was called "One"  -- 

on the stage, opening scene, May 1975, three four actors (I was one)  in white T shirts --- I think we were mute -- I don't remember the rest....  

but I do remember Tim's artistry, his restless creativity, always restless -- have not seen him since -- but periodically wondered about his place -- now I know -

love to his family, we think of him very fondly. 

October 30, 2012

10/11/12

Tim’s words at the wedding ceremony:

 Annie, the minister: "...and Tim, we know your heart is with Monika now…"

 Annie:   "Do you want to say something?"

Monika: "You are my man."

Tim: " I’ll say something: It means a lot to have the people in this room and so much has been experienced.

I appreciate it and I really say thank you to all you who have made this such a positive feeling and when I met Monika, I knew she was my soul mate and my guide.

We’ve been through -( Tim is making wave like movements with his hand).....like this… but it’s been such a joyous journey and I hope that we get through these present struggles to be able to emerge and rise above these present challenges and see what happens…

Through life there’s a certain detachment that I once remembered and realized that (I wanted to remember this) that no matter what happens that I can say thank you for each moment that I lived and to be able to say , I was given this life, I’m a guest here, and I didn’t deserve anything.'  I just became someone who was, someone who could be able to be Monika’s lover and as Edward said to me yesterday, there’s something special in you, you can’t predict it, but you can just appreciate. And that’s the greatest gift I think I ever learned…to be able to appreciate the gift of this life. 

And so, I can’t ask for anything, I can’t demand anything, but I can appreciate what’s given to me.

All: “Beautiful Tim…”

Tim: "Monika has a lot more to say… You have to… but she carries it deep inside and it’s amazing to me."

Annie:  “You are both our teachers. The ring that Monika wears is a symbol of the love that you share, now and always.  It’s a symbol of the continuity between the two of you.”

Tim: "Thank you, and by the way… I don’t like wedding rings." [Laughter]

“Well, it is what it is. No no no, I like ones like Monika’s, we bought her a ring in Mumbai once, oh that one, yeah on our first trip to India together. Yeah, and so that was our wedding ring and it is very, very special. And then that became part of it and it evolved into {?} and so I loved that Monika carries that ring with both of our hearts.

Annie: “I can’t help but think that this is just a renewal of vows, those vows were made a long-long time ago and renewed regularly."

Monika: "may be even before we met."[Laughter]

Annie: "So now I ask you the important question. Monika, do you take Tim to be your lawful wedded Husband

Monika: "Yes, I do."

Annie: Tim do you take Monika to be your lawful wedded Wife

Tim: " Yes I do."

Annie: "Monkia, Tim you have been married in a spiritual ceremony in a tradition that emphasizes this moment, each moment the reality that is always here to be appreciated. You are now Husband and Wife. Please take care and treat each other as you have as teacher and friend. Your marriage has given confidence to others, help each other.  Love is the fruit of compassion.
By the power vested in me by the state of New York.
I now pronounce you Husband and Wife."

Esperance

October 30, 2012

An Object Orientation

October 30, 2012
October 30, 2012

October 29, 2012
 

 Monika, Thank you for sharing such a private

moment in the chapel, as you said goodbye

to Tim's dead body. Your encounter with the 

white crane as she flew upward carrying Tim's

soul off, was very moving. 

xoxo with Reiki Blessings ~ Bridget

 

Miss Me But Let Me Go

When I come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for me,
I want no rites in a gloom filled room,
Why cry for a soul set free.

Miss me a little, but not to long,
And not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love that we once shared.
Miss me but let me go.

For this is a journey we all must take,
And each must go alone.
It's all part of the Masters plan,
A step on the road to home.

When you are lonely and sick of heart,
Go to the friends we know,
Bury your sorrows, and think of me
Miss me but let me go,

 

Bridget Dinsmore

October 30, 2012

Written Oct 29, 2012 12:06am

 oh yes, I am going to miss you Tim,

Your big heart,  your twinkling eyes, your ability to find the joy and pleasure in the little things of life, your way of living outside the box and your inherent trust that all is going to be ok. You lived good dear Tim.

I have learned a lot from knowing you and you will live in the free spirit neighborhood of my heart for ever.

I know you will be looking out for beautiful Monika, 

Every time I was with you two I could see how much you loved her, now she has a very special guardian angel for the rest of her precious life.

A blessing for you . . .

“Let the soul banish all that disturbs
Let the Body that envelopes it be still.
And all the frettings of the body,
And all that surrounds it.
Let Earth and sea and air be still
And Heaven itself.
And then let the body think
Of the spirit as streaming, pouring
Rushing and shining into it from
All sides while it stands quiet.”

Plotinus  (205 AD)

With much love,
Saumya Comer

October 30, 2012

Written Oct 28, 2012 5:07pm

 “Life is just a chance to grow a soul” as a poem goes, and so as Marcel Proust once said: “Let us be grateful to people who make us happy - they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” Thank you, dear Tim, for being that amazing soul, and such a truly charming gardener! 

You had many literary heroes, not least Lao Tzu, of course, but I daresay Friedrich Nietzsche too, who said: “There is one thing one has to have: either a soul that is cheerful by nature, or a soul made cheerful by work, love, art, and knowledge.”

Thank you, dear Tim, for having, and for showing us, that you have a soul made from both.

Your intellectual and spiritual curiosity led you to embrace and truly experience the wisdom and values of two of humanity's greatest cultures. "From ashram to IBM" - that speaks volumes in itself.  Your life really showed for all of us who knew you to see, and in the words of that great hero, that:
“To see things in the seed, that is genius.” (Lao Tzu)

Taking that from one of those cultures that you so loved and excited you, to another from that time in the ashram to later living in India:
क्षिप्रं विजानाति चिरं शृणोति
विज्ञाय चार्थं भजते न कामात्।
नासंपृष्टो व्यपयुंक्ते परार्थे
तत् प्रज्ञानं प्रथमं पण्डितस्य॥

English Translation of Sanskrit Quote: 

"He comprehends quickly and hears patiently. He understands things at hand and acts accordingly and not according to his sweet will; he does not meddle with others' business unless asked to. This is the prime feature of a wise person."

Thank you, dear Tim, for being that "genius" and that "person". You truly were someone "larger than life".  
Everyone was touched in some way by that when meeting you. That aura (and also the largesse) that you exuded, struck a particular chord for me; and one very dear to my own heart. For it was that twinkle in your eye and your core sense of joie de vivre that was the hallmark of your being an Irishman at heart, and not just in name.  For as the great Irish playwright Sean O'Casey once said:  "Every action of our lives touches on some chord that will vibrate in eternity."

Some actions and lives, however, vibrate louder than others. Such as in your case, and I for one, amongst I am sure many others, will continue to feel that vibration for as long as we make our own ones.  Thank you, dear Tim, for never ceasing to inspire and to mentor.

But as with all too many "larger than life" beings of this world, their lives are sadly all too often all the shorter for being so.  “Since every death diminishes us a little, we grieve - not so much for the death as for ourselves” ... and so I grieve for your leaving us all too soon, dear Tim. I grieve for myself, and for the grief of all those dearest and dearest to you, and for whom their loss is so much the greater.  I grieve for the lost hopes i had of seeing you and our meeting up again, as we looked forward to after the gap of all too many years. Of our catching up again, sharing stories of those intervening years, evoking past times, so many of which were so memorably happy, but also the few which were less so. I know, though, that you would have laughed about each with the same alacrity.  Of our talking of the future, and perhaps even of working again together, and sharing that last bottle of your favourite wine that I have, and which has your name written on it.  

But at least it is a real comfort for me that the last time we communicated you looked forward to that time, and to sharing that bottle too!  You also sounded so happy and on "top the world" in your new venture as CEO of a exciting up and coming tech company, and clearly worthy of your talents and experience, and fortunate to have you. That was only just a couple of months ago. Just before all of such high hopes and that seemingly bright future were to so suddenly and so shockingly change. 

 But in that cruelty of life and your leaving us all too soon, what a testament of example you were and from what I drew from Monika's so moving and loving diary entries.  Even with my being separated by distance and detached from the time itself left to you to live out the rest of this life, I felt present to your soul. Even as your soul in this life went so swiftly into its sudden winter, you tended to and put others into blossom. 

And so I do not grieve anymore for you, my dear old friend. Instead, now I take that joyful lead from you. I rejoice in having known you, and in being someone who will cherish the memories, my learning from you and your legacy. 

So this old poem (and somewhat considerably older that that bottle of wine) is my gift to share with you now. It may be the poetry of another soul, but it could just as well have been that of yours. It is also something else that I will keep and drink from in your memory. For it will always have your name on it too, dear Tim. 

 Death is Nothing At All


Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away to the next room.
I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other,
That, we still are.


Call me by my old familiar name.
Speak to me in the easy way
which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.


Laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me. Pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect.
Without the trace of a shadow on it.


Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same that it ever was.
There is absolute unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?


I am but waiting for you.
For an interval.
Somewhere. Very near.
Just around the corner.

All is well.

 Gerald Winnington-Ingram

October 30, 2012

Written Oct 25, 2012 11:05am

Dear Monika,

  My heart and thoughts have been with you and Tim every day during the last weeks of his life.   I know Tim as a generous and kind man and you as a loving, sincere and courageous woman.   Life and death - the mystery we all live continues to bring awe. Love is what we can know. Deep, true and real.   Take the best of care My Dearest Friend - may love carry you through and through......    Inga Grace
October 30, 2012

Written Oct 25, 2012 12:02am

 I can’t believe my little brother is gone.  No one else has been so close to Tim for so long, particularly in the early years.  We were inseparable in many ways growing up a year and a half different in age, and going through so many of those fundamental foundational changes together.  I always thought we would watch each other grow old together, but it was his time to go.

I am filled with a rich tapestry of memories together.  Playing together through the four seasons, all the yard work and chores together, the summer painting the house, going to summer camp together, driving to prep school each day for two years, the many sports events.  

When he was very young, he wrote a comic book series called Sad Magazine, which was a parody of the satirical comic book Mad Magazine.   It was really clever.  In high school, he was truly remarkable.  He started an underground newspaper “The Insignificant Nonsectarian Newspaper”, which was widely read by both students and faculty.  He was shut down after a series of scalding editorials about the incompetence and ridiculous behavior of our headmaster, so he took up editorship of the mainstream school newspaper, The Blake Torch.  He made it a better paper. He also edited the school yearbook, for three years, no one else ever did it more than once.  He started a school radio station, got equipment donated, set up an agenda and programming and had other students provide daily content.

His crowning achievement in high school was his first play, the name escapes me right now.  He wrote, starred in, directed and produced a play that was performed in the principle theater in Minneapolis and it received a rousing and enthusiastic review in the Minneapolis Star and Tribune.  He never lost his passion for theater and the arts, and it helped him with perspective as he navigated the treacherous waters of both big business and start ups. 

We have always stayed in touch, although there were many years when we did not communicate much.  We were always there for each other and shared the sort of bond that can only come from a lifetime spent together.  I have been thrilled by his many successes and have been so proud of him and so proud to be his brother.

He has accomplished so much and lived so richly, but it was clear he had even better years ahead, especially with dear Monika.  So many of us felt close to Tim, felt we shared his soul and passions, but despite his gregariousness and gracious nature, Tim was an intensely private person, and seemed to be comfortable only sharing deeply and completely with Monika.  So many of us feel a void in our lives with Tim’s passing, but none of us can appreciate the loss experienced by his soul mate Monika.

The strength and serenity shown by both Tim and Monika in the closing weeks was just awesome.  They accepted what was and cherished fully what they had.  It was both inspiring and soothing to all the rest of us struggling to deal with what we saw only as tragedy.  Their great love and the melding of their souls will endure beyond Tim’s time, and what a gift for Monika to have 14 such precious years with brother Tim and rich memories of love and life together.

Bill O'Brien (the one and only brother)

October 30, 2012

Written Oct 24, 2012 11:14pm

 Tim’s impact on the world was truly remarkable. His rich life will become a symphony unique to each of us. His many accomplishments during the course of his life will endure in the memories of all who knew him.

I wished I had a chance to get to know him better and share his joy and creativity with his nephew, Zachary. Many people from all around the world will truly miss Tim. 

Thank you, Monika for sharing your thoughts and feelings on everything that was happening through the final days.

 Fanella O'Brien (sister in law)

October 30, 2012

Written Oct 24, 2012 9:40pm

"In Theatre, every form once born is mortal, every form must be reconceived and its new conception will bear the marks of all the influences that surround it." The Empty Space Peter Brook. 
Your influence is and will be felt Tim...

Miss you Quentin

quentin staes-polet

October 30, 2012

Written Oct 24, 2012 4:13pm

Dear Monika,

how hard must the past weeks have been for all of you who joined Tim during his last days. 

You even managed to keep your friends and family members informed. We felt so close to Tim and all of you, even thousands of kilometers away in Germany. For that we are truly grateful. 

It gave us the opportunity to remember the precious times we spend with you and Tim. We will never forget this last beautiful summer weekend when you both came to visit us in Frankfurt. 

We are always with you.

Claudia and Thomas

October 30, 2012

Written Oct 24, 2012 12:24pm

Tim will be missed by all who had the honor of knowing him.  Our thoughts and prayers go out to his family.  God bless.

Jason Hudak

October 30, 2012

Written Oct 24, 2012 11:46am

 

Monika,

  Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and yours. I am sending lots of healing light and love. My deepest sympathies.

             Namaste,  Janice Anderson

October 30, 2012

Written Oct 23, 2012 11:59pm

Dear Monica & The O'Brien Family,

Having heard recently through Eileen of Tim's condition, I am shocked & saddened to learn of my first close childhood friend's departure from this world, especially at such a young age. Although I lost touch with Tim throughout the years as we both went our separate ways, I can't help but confess of wondering at times what Tim made of his life. Now I can read and see how truly blessed he was to have experienced such warm friendships, built a successful career and enjoyed unique travel experiences abroad. 

I have many happy memories from my time spent with Tim & his family at the O"Brien household in Edina and am a better person for getting to know him.

Please accept my sincerest sympathy on his passing.

Steve Burnham

October 30, 2012

Written Oct 23, 2012 8:24pm

I was so sad to hear of the passing of such a truly wonderful and inspiring man. Tim and I worked together at Maven/Yahoo and I will always remember his strength, wisdom, and passion.

Kathy Breslin

October 30, 2012

Written Oct 23, 2012 12:16pm

How does one find words to sum up all that Tim was while here on Earth?  Perhaps his strong spirit could not be contained by us mere mortals, for the Gods called him home for work unknown to us. But I know for certain this gentle giant graced my life with the magic of a leprechaun, the wisdon of a mystic, and a smile of one who has seen the face of God.  In his absence the world is dim now, but Heaven explodes with the magnitude of his spirit, and we are forever blessed to have crossed his path.

annie mcaleer

October 30, 2012

Written Oct 23, 2012 11:52am

I worked with and got to know hundreds of great individuals but only the ones like Tim remain etched in memory. I remember the wonderful dinner that Monika and Tim invited me to. The fabulous sunset, Charles river and breath taking view of Boston downtown.

Thank you for everything.

Tejo Suravajjala

October 30, 2012

Written Oct 23, 2012 9:51am

Tim was my neighbor as a kid on St . Patrick's Lane ,My thoughts and prayers go out to his friends and family,We used too play soccer and baseball on the church grounds across the steet, what a great guy,If I can say anything about this,God has a place for all of us and Tim is safely home in that place, Heaven.God Bless, Love Tommy Kaju

tom kaju

 
October 30, 2012

 Written by Alex Harwitz
Oct 23, 2012 9:31am

I just want to add to the tributes to Tim.  I really enjoyed working with him (at Maven/Yahoo) and feel lucky that I got to know him.  One of the things that I really appreciated about Tim was the breadth of his interests and passions.  We would often start a meeting at work talking about the specifics of some project or another, and then end up talking about Buddhism, or food, or travel, or any of another thousand things. 

  I always felt that Tim had a great personal balance between wanting to his job well and be a leader in the professional setting, but also in maintaining his life outside of work and having a rich life with Monika and his friends and colleagues.  I appreciated his efforts to get to know me and the other members on his team at a personal level, and find a common ground outside of our every day work interactions.  It was this effort that really gave our group a sense of being a team, and helped create the lasting friendships I see continuing on to this day among the group.   I also want to echo some of the comments in this guestbook about Tim's great enthusiasm for life, his energy, and the force of his personality.  He was someone who could energize you with his excitement about a project or an opportunity, who could keep things fun with a well timed wise crack, and who brought great passion to everything he did.   I am saddened that I had lost touch with Tim, and his passing is a reminder to me that I need to take the time to reach out to those people who have helped shape and improve my life and thank them as we all have less time than we would like.  I hope this small tribute will let Monika and Tim's friends and family know the positive force he was for me and for the other people who had the opportunity to work for him.   We will miss you Tim. 

 

 

 Written by Gabriele Möller
Oct 22, 2012 3:54pm

 In memory of Timothy,
you will always stay in my heart.
I am grateful for the time the three of us shared.
Timothy. a wonderful man with great humour and a big heart.

I will miss you.

LOVE
Gabriele

 

 

 Written by Bill Mykytka (brother in law)
Oct 22, 2012 1:59pm

 I am struggling with my emotions, scarred by the lightning speed from diagnosis to exodus.

I don’t know what happens after we die; I hope we continue to exist in a much better place. I hope we find out that we “the living” are truly unfortunate!   We are the ones being kept from the great life ahead of us after passing from this earth.

I married my wife, Tim’s sister, Megan, because she is the most wonderful person on this planet. It is no coincidence that the most wonderful person on this planet has a brother who is equally as wonderful!

 After marrying Megan, it took a while for Tim and I to get close. Quite frankly, Tim and I did not have much in common and more importantly, Tim intimidated the heck out of me! I consider myself a pretty smart guy.

 When it came to “smarts,” Tim was on a whole different plateau. I was afraid to get into discussions with him, because I would get lost in his thought process.

 I remember attending a play that he wrote and presented in San Francisco.  The name was something like “A moment in time.” (I know that’s incorrect, because he corrected me the last time I used that title). The play basically went backwards, chronologically proceeding from “the end” to the beginning. I sat watching this play, not knowing what the heck was going on.

 When the play was over, I congratulated Tim and said it was “great!?” Later on over a drink, I confessed to Tim that (despite my “great” comment) I didn’t know what the heck had transpired during the play. Tim took the time to explain this whole complex theatre into terms I could understand.  What I thought was backwards chaos, was actually brilliant and ingenious! That is when I realized that Tim had a far more superior intellect then mine!  He thought on a completely different plane!

 We got a lot closer during “The Content Group” days. Megan worked with Tim and I got to see him every day. When the Content Group went out of business and I was helping Tim move stuff out of the office, we joked about if all else failed, we could open up “Tim and Bill’s Moving Company.”

 It was a joke we would bring up whenever we found ourselves moving one of the family members. Last week, Monika, Eileen, Sue and Megan were discussing something and asked me to go stay with Tim. It was really emotional to stand over Tim and watch him suffer so much. I was somewhat uncomfortable about what to say to him. I kind of blurted out…”It doesn’t look like that moving company of ours is going to happen…”  Tim kind of smirked and turned his head down and away. Then he turned back to me and said “no….it doesn’t look like it’s going to happen!”

 It took all I could muster not to break down in front of him. I am glad we got to visit with Tim during his last week on this planet. I am glad Tim got to feel the love of all of those who called him family or friend. During the wedding, in almost a theatrical moment, Tim sucked up the pain and weakness, and delivered a beautiful speech. There was not one dry eye at his bedside!

 Afterwards, I walked up to him and said, “You always manage to find just the right words!  Well done!”  He smiled!"

 I don’t always find the right words, but I tried in writing in this guest book.

We love you, Tim.
We miss you.

 My last words to you were “We will see you again!”  (Tim nodded in acknowledgment)
I hope we do!

 

 
Written by Allan Mayfield
Oct 22, 2012 12:06pm

Dear Monika,

I am  offering prayers for Tim and for you. Please do take care of yourself. I am sure that Tim would want that. Your grace has been an inspiration in these weeks. My deepest condolences, Allan

 

 

 Written by Kim
Oct 22, 2012 12:04pm

 Even though I have only met Tim once briefly, he left a strong impression on me with his strong presence. I can feel the warmth from his big heart. Looking at his photos with Monika, showed me that Tim has lived his life to the fullest and his journey on earth must have been a fulfilling one for him which he shared part of it with his wife Monika.

Moniji, I feel your loss but Tim's love will always be with you no matter where you are. Tim will be watching you from above.

In Love & Light,
Kim

 
 

Written by David Emerson (yoga teacher)
Oct 22, 2012 11:41am

I will miss Tim very much. He was a regular at my yoga studio in Cambridge for several years, along with Monika. Together, they were incredibly vibrant and supportive patrons. I will remember Tim as an exceptionally generous and open and caring human being and I am a better person for having known him. My heart is with you, Monika.



Written by Louise Roenn
Oct 21, 2012 11:02pm

 But... We Are Going to Have Lunch in New York Next Week 

In memory of my friend, Timothy O’Brien

That was the first thing I said. As if that was a reason to stay alive. But it was my way of stating my overwhelming shock, complete disbelief and emerging heartbreak whilst reading Ray's email: “Louise, were you aware Tim is dying of pancreatic cancer? He only has a day or so left as his liver has stopped operating.”

 I called up Ray straight away.
“Yes, it’s true. Tim was brought into ER two weeks ago with stomach aches.”, Ray said softly. 

Tim and I first met in London in 2009 whilst working on a website project for a charity. Last time I saw him was at an event in Los Angeles in July 2012. He was glowing as he passionately told me about his new adventures as the CEO of an IT start-up in New York. We agreed to have lunch together during my New York visit in October “If you still have time for little people like me”, he said with a smile.

As outgoing, articulate and funny as Tim was, just as deeply connected he was to the source of joy within him, something he had practiced for 30 years of his 55 years alive. One morning I was waiting for him in the Hyatt Westlake lobby during a conference. I still see Tim walking up towards me just beaming and I still hear his deep, warm voice saying: "Sorry I'm a few minutes late. The inner realm was so delicious that it was hard for me to leave."

A Stanford Drama graduate and a passionate artist and music lover, Tim was also an accomplished business executive globally. In August I emailed him to confirm our arrangements, and I still have his reply, the last email I would ever receive from him:

 “Louise, Great to hear from you! I look forward to getting together in New York. I hope your next adventures are here and that I am a part of it! Excited that you may soon be in the neighborhood.”

Tim, you are a part of my next adventures. You live in my heart now and I’ll take you with me. I had taken for granted that I would have you for many more years to come. At least for a lunch meeting next week.

 After speaking with Ray, I wrote Monika, Tim’s life companion through many years: “If Tim is susceptible to any communication, please convey my deepest love to him and appreciation for the person that he is and how much he has touched me, inspired me, cared for me, helped me and included me during our collaboration and times together.”

I know Tim heard my message.

One week before his passing, Tim got married to Monika. He asked to be given less pain medication to be more present, and he had the opportunity to express the following:

“Through life there’s a certain detachment that I once remembered and realized that no matter what happens, that I can say thank you for each moment that I lived and to be able to say, I was given this life, I’m a guest here, and I didn’t deserve anything.  And that’s the greatest thing I ever learned … to be able to appreciate the gift of this life. And so, I can’t ask for anything, I can’t demand anything, but I can appreciate what’s given to me.”

 


 
Written by Tom Goodnow (brother in law)
Oct 21, 2012 7:44pm

 Timothy:  You faced the most difficult challenge life can throw at you with dignity and courage.  Your beautiful words at the wedding on Thursday will be with me always.  I wish we had more time to say "goodbye" but you have certainly left a permanent mark on my soul.  Take care, my friend and bon voyage.  To all of us that are left, you are an inspiration to live life joyously and with passion.

Love, 
Tom

 

 

Written by Jennifer & Ken Dewar
Oct 21, 2012 3:48pm

Dear Monika,

We have a fond memory of the day you and Tim came to help us celebrate the 5th anniversary of our backyard labyrinth.  Bridget
had invited you and some other friends to join us, and your presence with us was very special and added much to the gathering.  I regret that we only met Tim that one time but am touched by reading your journal and the messages from other friends.

Your special bond and connection with Tim will keep you together in spirit always and it is wonderful that he touched so many lives in so many ways.

May you have peace within and experience the ongoing love you two will always share.

Love,
Jennifer & Ken

 
 

Written by Grant Stratemeyer
Oct 21, 2012 11:46am

Hi Monika,

So sorry to hear about your lose. Tim was such a great guy and I was lucky to know him. I worked with him for several years at Maven/Yahoo. The world was a better place with him in our lives. He will be missed, but I have nothing but great memories of him.    Let us know if you are planning to have a service or gathering in the Boston area.    With warm regards, Grant Stratemeyer

 



Written by Bridget Dinsmore
Oct 21, 2012 10:48am

Monika, I send you love xoxo with Reiki blessings.

The past travels with us, our memories-tender, loving, bittersweet, can never be taken from us.They can make us laugh, cry, feel sad, or happy. When our life partner, departs life before us, an emptiness is left and we are cut loose from our moorings to grieve in a sea of private sorrow. Life can feel like a roller coaster one day & then back down to drift alone, surrounded by friends in life's most difficult situation. Grief is one of the most basic of human emotions there is no detour but in solitude we find time to think and take stock of our lives. As one enters the future alone, hidden capabilities appear that have never been tapped before, and the past still travels with us.

Monika my memories of Tim you & I sharing great moments together are etched in the treasure house of my mind. My last memory of Tim,
was at your apartment in Cambridge when he was saying goodbye with his usual cheerful smile.

Take care ~ Bridget xoxo

 

Written by Victor
Oct 21, 2012 9:22am

 This text is translated from french to english. Tim and myself  met Victor at an Ayurvedic health retreat in Kerala, India, 3 years ago. We spent all in all 3 days in the same beautiful place. Victor captured the essence of Tim and allows me to share his poetic words. (Monika)

My dear Monika, My very dear Tim

 I am shattered by this piece of news !
I accompanied in the same way my elder brother whom I loved
I know and I feel all that you are going through on this painful path

Tim : I remember a man with a mischievous look, sparkling, of strong and generous intelligence.
He was lying down next to me during the yoga sessions in Kerala and I still hear his powerful breath during some of the exercises that I was incapable of doing and that he was doing full of this certainty that this body must be listened to and loved

I also keep the memory of a generous Monika, attentive always seeking the Essential, seeking something else, differently, this permanent search for other Paths, other Breaths also.

Tim : I remember a man with a mischievous look, sparkling, of strong and generous intelligence he was lying down next to me during the yoga sessions in Kerala and I still hear his powerful breath during some of the exercises that I was incapable of doing and that he was doing

 The Wind goes where it wants
You hear its voice
but nobody knows
neither where it comes from
nor where it goes
 Listen to it, dear Monika, dear Tim,
it brings you my voice
in the rustle of the leaves
which the wind makes sing

 All my love and tenderness accompany you,
my prayers too.
I will go now light a candle,
like in the Jewish tradition,
to light the Path.

 A brotherly kiss of love to you both,
Victor

 

 

 Written by Ray Belcher
Oct 21, 2012 12:20am

Time was a great and lovely friend-
I will cherish my memories of him

 
 

 
Written by Jossi
Oct 20, 2012 1:08pm

Farewell, dear friend. 

You had a great life and I am richer for having had the good fortune to cross paths with you. We did so many fantastic things together, and had such a good time working and collaborating with you in so many projects.

I will remember you for your love and zest for life, your strength of character, and most of all for your sweetness and generosity. 

Tim: You will always be in my heart.
Jossi




Written by Antonio Portugal
Oct 20, 2012 6:29am

Dear Tim

You untimely departure has left us saddened and with an immeasurable void in our hearts.
I will be forever honored and great full to cross paths. YOU ARE INDEED A SPECIAL MAN LIKE NO OTHER
Monika ,through you i met Tim thank you for bringing him to my life ,thank you for sharing such a beautiful soul we are now richer because of that.
A glass of Riesling will never taste the same without you among us Tim.
I will miss you 
Rest In Peace

October 30, 2012

 Written by Alla Rogers
Oct 19, 2012 12:11pm

Dear Monika,
I send you my profound sympathy. I have know Tim for a very long time and seen so many transitions. His joy,playfulness and endless curiosity were always present. I am so glad he found you to love and the loving partnership it brought to both of you. 
I live in the absolute faith that we are enveloped in loving kindness always. I am certain that it is there for you and Tim now and forever. 
I am sad for his passing but joyful that he didn't leave this life empty handed. He found what he was looking for!

Much love to you and Tim's family.
Alla




 

Oct 17, 2012 5:23pm
Written by  Edward Hanapole 

Tim, my "brother..."  I am so fortunate to have known you and shared some of the most inspired days of my life with you.   As a dear friend and life mentor, your energy, creativity and passion changed me -- forever.  You have always held a special place in my heart and if you don't mind, I will keep speaking to you in spirit as I have for so many years.  I will always hear your laugh, see your smile and that amazing gaze you give that reaches inside...  

  I was blessed to be with you and wish you peace.    My brother.  I will miss you here.      Love, Edward



 

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