I had the good fortune to meet Tom Kandra twice.

We both graduated from Georgetown Medical School in 1989 but during those 4 intense years we infrequently crossed paths. No doubt this was because Tom was one of the smart guys and I was camped out in the last row of every course. Tom graduated brilliantly, I believe 2nd in the class, while I muddled through fair enough.

Six years later fate gave me another opportunity. Tom and I were assigned adjacent offices in the Pulmonary Clinic in Germany at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center. Tom was in the Air Force and I in the Army.  Tom noticed me, single at the time and a stray in this new setting overseas.  As is his nature he adopted me into his home. Tom's passion for music and life in general was infectious. He introduced me to Puccini and John Lee Hooker, to the virtues of the German Shepherd, and to Moni's divine spaetzle. We spent our weekends skiing the alps, at museums and castles, moving his furniture from house to house, and in sorry attempts to learn the German language. Oktoberfest, the Starkbierfest, Paulaner Keller, and Kloster Andechs. The prime directive ... to taste as many Bavarian beers as physically possible. OK... on occasion, we did have more than a taste.

Then life intervened... I met my wife, Tom transferred to Texas, and I mustered out of the Army. We again had no communication, but Tom's impression on me was such that I "Googled" him often over the years. I had little to show for it until last night when a gnawing feeling had me change the wording of my search. After viewing this site, shedding of tears, and a sleepless night I find myself paying tribute to one of the kindest and most gentle souls I have yet come across. I am so much better for having met Tom twice.

I don't need to tell anybody reading Tom's rememberance website that he was a fun-loving person.

Sadly, having met him later in life and our time together mostly being reduced to family holidays aka "The Christmas Freeze," we didn't get enough sessions with just the brothers-in-law and some beers.

But we did share one special drinking session together along with fellow BIL Jeff McLellan.

The 3 of us went to The Ram's Head in Baltimore to watch a crucial end-of-season football game between the Philadelphia Eagles (my team) and the NY Giants. I don't drink often during games but this was XMAS holiday so we must have had 4-5 pints together.

Tom could throw them back like the rest of us.

I needed beer. It was a crucial game and my team was getting crushed. There were 8 minutes left in the game and the Eagles were down 21 points. I asked if we could leave but Jeff had Brian Westbrook (Eagles running back) on his fantasy football team so we had to stay.

The entire room had Eagles shirts on except one 9-year-old boy with a Giants jersey. He was taunting us with his childish grins.

Miraculously the Eagles scored 3 touchdowns in 7 minutes. I had never seen anything like that in my life. The bar was wild & roaring with enthusiasm except for that poor boy. 

I think even Tom was pulling for me even though he could have cared less about the Eagles.

With 14 seconds left in the game the Giants were to punt the ball to the Eagles. We were prepared for overtime, which I assumed meant a few more pints.

The Giants punted the ball to DeSean Jackson who fumbled, then picked the ball up and ran 70 yards for a touchdown as time ran out. The entire bar hugged one another even though we didn't know anybody.

Literally every grown man hugged every other grown man like family. That poor boy. I doubt he'll ever recover.

It was the most memorable football game of my life and for any Philadelphia Eagles fan. All you have to do is say "DeSean Jackson punt return" and you'll have a friend (just don't say it in NY).

So famous did this game become that it is now voted as one of the best comebacks in history and Jackson's runback was voted by fans on NLF.com as the greatest football play in history. And the game has an official name & website: Miracle at the New Meadowlands.

I know that story doesn't have enough color of the wonderful & fun loving person that Tom was. But you already know that about him.

I share the story here because it was one of the most memorable and fun sports days of my life and I shared it and one-too-many pints with Tom and with my other brother-in-law, Jeff.

We'll always have the that day together. And I'll always remember your smiling face, long hair and relaxed ways.

Tom and my husband, Bill, were good friends while in the Air Force together. Our two daughters remember him fondly.  When she was six, our oldest received a shoulder ride from "Dr. Tom" and replied, "WOW!  Now I know how a giraffe feels!"  Tom, who loved her analysis, indulged her further with a few trips up and down the stairs.  Our youngest daughter invited Tom, (who she called "Dot"--her way of saying "Dr. Tom) to her 2nd birthday party.  We lived in San Antonio at the time and her birthday coincided with Fiesta week. So, naturally, we had over 2 dozen cascarones--confetti filled colored eggs-- at her party.  It is tradition during Fiesta week to crack cascarones over the heads of loved ones to bring good fortune.  Tom was wonderful!  He got down on all fours so our 2-year-old (who was tiny for her age) could enthusiastically crack a few cascarones on his head for good luck. He also carved pumpkins with our girls with surgical precision and artistic flair.  
Sadly, our son never got to meet Tom.  He's heard many stories, however, as we keep his memory alive.  Tom will always be remembered as a gentle soul with a wicked sense of humor and a natural way with small children and animals.  Although his time with us was too short, we are better people for having known him.
Bill, Debbie, Anna, Mary and Gabriel Beninati 

Secret dinner (also known as "Why I came all the way to Maine to work with people like Tom"). I've told this story before, so bear with me ...

Tom was always uncomfortable with the "authority" of being a higher-up executive in our medical group, he was just an everyday Joe in his own eyes. He had the duty to interview new recruits to our group. I had known Tom from a previous year where I had worked at EMMC as a hospitalist, and he and I were already very comfortable with each other. I was considering joining the group, so the standard recruitment dinner was looming ...

He asked me which fancy local restaurant I preferred for our recruitment dinner.  I named a couple half-heartedly, and he saw I was not enthusiastic. So he asked, "What would you really like to eat right now?" I said, embarrassed, "scrambled eggs and a Belgian waffle." He then said, "Me, too!  Meet me at Dysart's (the local greasy-spoon truck stop) but don't tell anyone. We'll follow with strawberry shortcake." He invited a couple other truck-stop type everyday-Joe doctors, and we had the greatest time packing in the cholesterol amid the diesel fumes ... I immediately joined the group. I really think if it weren't for Tom, I may have stayed in Massachusetts. Funny how one stellar person can affect our whole future.

Tom's memory is so strong that his name remains on our physician directory and his big floppy shoes remain under his desk. Never to be forgotten ..... 

ruth

Tom used to tease me with everything he had... and I loved every minute of the attention from my big brother.  For his own entertainment, he used to pin my arm behind me and make me kiss the floor.  While I was there, he'd have the dog come over and lick my face.  I would laugh till I couldn't breath...  I'd give anything to be home in Nashua again-- when he was in high school and I was just a kid.  How great would it be to have one more day to have fun with Tom and have him hang me upside down by my feet...