Dear mum,

It's been 6 years this year. I still can't believe you're gone. Things have carried on without you but the memories remain. Matthew has a son now, little Elliott. It's a shame that he'll never know his grandmother. Matt's also joined the Marines. If you were here we all know you'd be so proud of him.

I'm still the same, holding on to your memory. I don't want to let go because I'm afraid i'll lose you. Things are still going downhill for me, and I'm pretty much getting to the point where I can't go on anymore. I just miss you so much, and know that if you were still here things would be so much different. I can't keep doing this, pretending I'm ok when I'm not. Nobody sees it behind my fake smile because no one pays close attention. 

Dads still the same, shouting at me all the time. I just can't do anything right by him. As long as Matt's doing well for himself though it doesn't matter about me. I'll just move on with my life, get a house and he'll forget about me. From the start we've never really got on anyway, but it would be great just to get a little attention from him.

6 years and I still can't believe it. I wish you were here to hold my hand through the bad times. If things keep going the way they were then I feel I'll be seeing you very soon.

I love you

Hannah