ForeverMissed
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His Life

the beginning of our journey

December 26, 2014

March 1, 1984 you came into our lives. You were so beautiful so tiny  and so very much loved.

I thought after 13 years I would be able to do this. But I still can't. I'm sorry trav...your not forgotten the words just turn to tears.  Maybe some of our family and friends can help build this.

Just know you are in my thoughts every single day. Every single Minute I hear you I see you I feel you and oH my darling baby boy I miss you so very much. Every day I keep putting one foot in front of the other. Every day I put a smile on my face and muddle through this life I've had to create without you ...the hole that is in my heart won't heal, doesn't heal and takes my breath away. I'm trying so very hard to do this right but these people that come into my life now they don't understand how fragile I am and they use me and they hurt me and they walk away from me. I try to just be me. I share with them your kindness and trust and giving ways like you taught me and they take advantage of that.. And leave me so hurt and confused. You used to teach them and show them in such a way that they understood. It was so easy for us. Together we showed them what it is all about. Just me... Not so easy.  

I just know that this life is taking forever I keep thinking I'm getting close now but that just isn't true.send me some strength my son. Send me some wisdom. Send me some knowledge and patience and send me someone to love and that will love me so finally I can feel safe and secure. .someone with arms so strong they can hug the pain away someone so special they can pull a smile from my sorrow someone so gentle they will know your love through mine. Someone to make me feel as special and needed and loved as you did.  

Watch over me dear sweet Travis.. And one day soon I will hold you again and we will dance and sing and laugh and fly so high together again like we were meant to be... Iove you forever and forever my lil man... Mommy