"I cant believe a year has passed since ive touched u, looked into ur beautiful blue eyes, heard ur voice, or just smelled ur sent im jus dieing so slowly inside until the day god decides to bring me home..son I cant understand y you had to go so soon u wud be turning jist 21 next month and ur n the best place ever in im being selffish when I say this but I wished u were still here with ur baby with me with all of us but in the same sense I wudnt want u to be here living in the cruel and hateful world but damn it I need you I miss you I love you I want to jist hold you n tell u how much I am so sorry I wished and prayed to god he wud let me take ur place...right now at this time last year I was holding you in my arms begging for god to please give you back n take me I was holding u so tight that I thought I cud put my life in ur body in u wud come back n I could go in ir place but when I was at the feet of the all mighty n holding the most precious hand ever tell him I cant let you go alone I was coming with you u need ur momma and he didnt meed me at the moment cus I guess ur baby n brother n sisters needed me and he let my hand go and gave my life back then was when I come back to realize my face was so far buried into ur neck and reality smacked the shit out of me when I realized my baby my child is in the hands of god that u were gone in I then kissed ur beautiful face all over in looked into ur eyes in told u how much I love u and just wanted to give up just wanted it all to be a dream and it werent real but it was. in the pain emptiness, the deep deep to no end pain hit hard so very hard when I had to let u go and leave u there never to see hear touch smell or anything again in this lifetime...from then I havent been able to breath right my heart stops often and I just die in hurt so much so deep I try to understand that god had his reasons in were not suspose to question that but it jist so hard when u carry a child for 9mths give them the dirst breath of life have them for 19 years an in the blink of am eye their gone never to return again is just the worst feelings ever for a human soil to have to endure it a pain that never eases or will ever go away until god decides to take me home....I love u n miss u soo deeply in so does ur son until we meet again baby rest easy fly high with the angels....love for eternity Mom"

It really hurts me to see your mom like this.But I know she's a strong women and will make it thru this. Its sad you were becoming such a good man for your child, it hurts to know God took u at that time. Life can be unfair.. very unfair.. but we will all see you again one day. Until then, Travis.. Until then.

Travis , I really never thought this day would come . The day I would have to deal with you being gone . The day I have to repeatedly tell my self that this is real . Your gone forever . There is so many things that I wish I could take back , so many things I would have said , so many things I would have asked . The one major question I always ask my self is why . I know God has a reason for us all to he here and for us all to go home with him but I wish god would of waited just a lil bit longer :/ last night I had a dream about your son and he was crying , he asked me why did my daddy have to go , can you tell me a little about him . He was a lil older in my dream and I told him about how brave and strong and wise you were and all the things your crazy self did and he laughed and smiled and I hugged him and I said trent , he will forever be in your heart till you see him again . That dream touched me so much . Gosh , I just don't know what to think anymore . I feel that life isn't really life anymore . I just miss and love you so much . I will hopefully see you again one day. Maybe one day soon , I will never know . All I think about is you . Your smile , your laugh , your voice , and how happy you was in general as a person . All I can do is think about that one day you was standing in the rain in michele`s front yard and we was arguing and I walked up to you and it started to rain harder and i looked you in your eyes and I said have you ever been kissed in the rain before and you said no and I said neither have I and we kissed . And I simply said well we are each other's first kiss in the rain and I was so happy . It's made me feel so complete . That's how you always made me feel . Now without you hear I'm half again. Travis Dean , ever since I first met you I feel in love with you . You gave me this werid feeling that no one else has Givin me . Now your gone and I tried fighting to talk to you every day but never could . I was finally yours tthen I lost you . Now I lost you for good and I'm lost without you . The day I lost you is the day I went crazy . The day I will never be the same again . The day I will never be complete again . Rip handsome . I miss you ♡

Travis Dean I miss you so freaking much and I can't believe tomorrow makes 8 months you haven't been here with us . You were my first real boyfriend , actually my fist for a lot and I hate that our little boy has to grow up without you . It hurts me everyday him telling me he wants you back but I know you deff wouldn't want me to cry . It's so hard I know we had our falls but when we were together it felt so right :/ I won't my family back I want you home so your family , friends &' I don't have to hurt anymore or be with out you . The only thing that keeps me going is our baby boy and your family that's still by my side . Thanks Travis for everything you taught me (: Fly high up there baby boy I love you

Son I can't believe I have to live life without u my heart is just completely destroyed I just want to quit most of the time and go be with you but I have to stay here for ur son and brother and sisters..it still just doesn't seem real I just can't accept it I dont want you to be gone. I need you here with me I'm so lost with out you I feel as if I'm just an empty corpse walking around I love you n miss you so deeply