Manjit,
Thank you so much for sharing your memories of Mom and the family. It warmed my heart reading it. She always spoke very fondly of you. And clearly that year had an outsized impact on her memory as well.
Peace,
Glaston
I've only just found out about Vicki and so am feeling all sorts of of emotions from shock, sadness, regret to fond memories. Shock because I didn't realise that she'd passed away; sadness because I wasn't aware of her illness and wishing that she'd had a more peaceful time at the end; regret for the many years of not persevering in keeping regular contact with her; fond memories of the wonderful person she was.
The Harralls were my host family as an AFS student at Charles Page High School in Sand Springs from the summer of 1966 to summer 1967. From the outset, although Bobbi was my host sister for High School purposes, it was Vicki who took me under her wing straightaway easing me into the way of life in the US. All too quickly, she headed off for OU and I missed her so much. Being invited to spend a rare weekend with her there was such a treat - I always felt so loved, nurtured and protected by my big sister who knew I loved to have a good time but was totally naive about American (and western) culture so needed looking after.
Ginny became the 'little sister' who I could mess around with - long walks in the woods and learning to swim in Aunt Ronnie's pool etc. My sister Bobbi who I was in awe of because of her beauty and popularity; Mike my little brother who was so creative and a budding musician; and not forgetting Mum and Dad who made me so welcomed and like a member of the family. Calling them Mum and Dad were not just terms of politeness but of endearment for me and truly meant as they were like my second set of parents during my stay - showing me love, tolerance, patience and understanding. I often reflect on that year as it still remains one of the most significant and memorable years of my life. I was so fortunate to meet Dick as well - and was devastated when Vicki was widowed as they seemed so perfect for each other.
From Malaysia I moved to England and have lived here now for over 44 years!!. Vicki visited my husband Shariff and I in the summer of 1974 and we spent a few precious days sightseeing and catching up on all the gossip.
I regret that we lost touch over the years but was I so thrilled when we made contact again about 8 or 9 years ago and spent ages speaking on the phone. I also regret that at my age, putting things off till tomorrow, all too quickly into months and before you know it into years .... so never spoke to each other again regrettably.
I've never forgotten the Harralls - indeed it was thinking about Dad's birthday tomorrow that prompted me to search for the family again through FB to establish contact, and how alas I realised that Vicki passed away nearly a year ago.
Most of you don't know me so please forgive my ramblings, but I just wanted you all to know that Vicki has a sister in England who will never forget her, her beautiful smile, hearty laugh, good sense of humour and loving nature. I also know that our spirits will meet again in the future. As it nears her first anniversary, may I pray that the Lord will to continue to be your comfort and strength. With fondest regards and good wishes. Manjit <><
Glaston,
Your picture album and the beautiful music filled my heart to over-flowing. I can hardly write for the tears for Vicki going on so quickly and so soon... I am happy for her Soul but I am missing her so very, very much. I know the tears are cleansing...
Joe and I were sharing Vicki and Glaston stories of our time with you in Glastonbury. A few weeks ago I needed the red robe you gifted me because it was very, very cold here. Of course we remembered you wearing this robe so many times Glaston.
Joe remembered you deciding about changing your name and asking his opinion. I hadn't known about this conversation so we are still learning from that blissful time together in Glastonbury.
Joe and I have decided to be vegan/vegetarian again, Allie has been here for the last year. We are now eating beans and rice and veggies a lot and this means we are back to eating the way Vicki cooked for us and so many more in Glastonbury. I have talked with several in Glastonbury who wish Vicki was still cooking for them as they really, really need her now. I guess she can do more where she is now then she could do here. I feel her cooking with me and actually my cooking talents are growing these days so I KNOW she is here in our kitchen many times.
I realize we don't get to know God's timing but I sure wish I had known that I absolutely needed to get to Vicki in the last year...
These are my memories for now.
BIG Hugs to you and yours from Jana, Joe and Alyssa
Note: I wrote this the day my Mom died.
February 15, 2014
Thoughts on Mom’s Passing
I write this from the relative calm of Southwest Flight 1455 to Phoenix. I am enroute to my Mom’s side to support her in her passing. After weeks of ICU, a couple weeks of rehab and miraculous improvement, she took a turn for the worse last night, went into cardiac arrest and is now brain dead in ICU.
There is no playbook for dealing with death. And although my Mom’s baseline health was not strong, we hoped to have many more years with her. The back and forth of the past month has been exceptionally draining – emotionally, spiritually and physically.
The gradual accepting of the potential for her passing; the frustration and denial of not wanting to deal with it, of wanting life to just get back to normal; the gallows humor that Mom herself would have appreciated. The travel, logistics and outreach to keep friends and family updated.
I don’t often write publicly about my spiritual beliefs. And my Mom and I had drifted apart spiritually in the last 10 years. But we shared many core beliefs. We believe in the continuity of the soul and that this earthly shell is but a vessel we wear for a time. We believe our spiritual life preceded birth and continues after death, and that the heavenly octaves are more real, and vibrant than anything here on earth. We believe in the power of prayer and the wonderful comfort provided by the angels and company of saints.
I will remember my Mom as the warm, smiling face who could come home exhausted from a day of work and find the energy to listen to me go on and on about my day. While we had the shared loss of my father’s early death, we were blessed with an extra close bond. She was my friend and biggest advocate – some may say a contributor to an overdeveloped sense of self-worth I have been known for at times.
I remember us taking macrobiotic classes together, while I was in college, driving to Dallas one weekend a month.
My mom was warm and kind. She was a free spirit, a wanderer and spiritual sojourner. As I grew older, I realized how against her nature it was to hold a corporate job and stay in the same house. But these are things she did to give me a stable childhood. And she kindly waited a couple years after I graduated from high school before selling my childhood home.
I appreciate the fact that my Mom actively encouraged and supported my relationship with my Father’s side of the family, giving me the gift of many wonderful memories with Grandma and Grandpa Ford, aunts, uncles and cousins. She could have easily kept me to herself and the Harrall side of the family but that wasn’t her way.
I am blown away that she and long-time boyfriend Jack, would take me and a friend to Lake Tenkiller almost everyone weekend over the summer. As I kid, you just don’t appreciate how fatiguing the drive, packing, unpacking, and grocery shopping could be. Those experiences gave me – a citified momma’s boy – wonderful times to romp in the woods and water with my buddy Mark. She’d sit in the sun with a cigarette in one hand, Willie Nelson on the radio, and a smile on her face.
As a grandparent, she was every bit as giving as a Mom. She had her informal start as a grandparent with the children of Christi, Monica and Karen who were a part of our life for many years. When I married Deanna, and brought my Mom the packaged deal of two adorable granddaughters, she jumped at the chance to be the grandmother. We still have some of the custom play dresses she had made for Brittany and Victoria.
In the early days of Deanna’s and I’s marriage, when we were the working poor in Corpus Christi, Grandma’s visit were like Christmas. We got babysitting, and haircuts and we got to eat out – something we couldn’t afford to do on our own. When she saw how stressed out I was only six months into my job at the newspaper in Corpus, she paid for my YMCA Gym Membership downtown so I could workout.
When we first moved to Austin, swimming at Grandma’s apartment complex was one of our favorite things to do. She enjoyed the time in the sun even if she didn’t have the same cutting figure she did back in her days at Lake Tenkiller. It’s hard to remember now but she used to come on many hikes and walks with me and kids, and attended many sporting events....
First day of college at O.U. met Vicki in our dorm lobby. We were all getting acquainted and started playing cards, can't even remember what game, but as it was my turn to deal - I dealt the wrong way. Someone said something but I was pretty forceful back then and convinced everyone I was correct. Vicki sat there a few minutes and then finally couldn't take it any more. Grabbed the cards and said, "no, that's the wrong way". Let her call me on it and we became best friends. Shared a college apartment the next year. Lots of hours listening to music, talking about the world and being young.
We both joined Young Republicans (God help us now) and she met the love of her life Dick Ford. She and Dick married and remember us all trying to get to the wedding on time.
Vicki was one of those people you meet in your life that becomes a part of your very fiber even though years may pass without being together.
Listening to this song playing I know Vicki would love it and the movie "Oh Brother Where Art Thou", it was Vicki!.
Vicki was a second mom to me. She was so loving and caring and accepting of me and my brother, Shawn. Even after my Dad and her divorced she was always there in my life. Every Summer, I would go to Oklahoma City and spend weeks with her and Tim. I have so many fond memories of spending time at Hefner Village and Lake Tinkiller.
No doubt about it, she was a kind spirit. I don't think I have ever met someone so open and accepting of others faults or mistakes. She was always there with great words of wisdom and advice.
She will be missed. My biggest regret is not getting to see her one last time. We were scheduled to get together as soon as she returned from Arizona. However, I am comforted in knowing that she is resting free and easy now.
This isn't goodbye Vicki...its a see you later! Much love to you always and forever.
