I'm so sorry to hear about this.  I just found out today.  I met Vivian in Business school at UMD.  She was so nice, genuine, bright and bubbly clearly not the usual business school type. We suffered through Finance class together. After the University of Maryland we both went on to work for Boise Cascade - she took the Chicago job and I took the Washington job. We stayed in touch over the years,  sharing stories about work and kids. She was so kind and just a wonderful person to be around, always cheerful and seeing the best in everyone. She loved sports both playing and watching...she loved her children so much...just as wonderful a person as you could ever hope to know.  I know I was very lucky to have met and shared time here with Vivian and I will never forget her. She was such a special person.

I first met Vivian and her brothers/family in the early 1980s attending Chinese Christian Church in Maryland. A few years later, I was thrilled to learn that Vivian and I would be studying for our MBAs at the same time at the University of Maryland.  We spent nearly two years striving for the same goal, sharing war stories, and even a couple classes. One fond memory I have of Vivian is noticing her charm during a youth group retreat in Ocean City, MD. Outwardly, she was a competitive go-getter, yet inside I could see her softer, goodwill-nature side.  I shall never forget- and will certainly miss - her warm smile and cute snicker.

I first met Vivian about 13 years ago. Tori and my daughter were both taking a “Music and Me” class at the Buffalo Grove Park District. It was a 45-minute class where we parents sat in the hall, waiting for the kids and of course chatting with each other. During one of those days waiting, I overheard Vivian mention food allergies. Since my older daughter has severe food allergies, I apologized for overhearing their conversation and mentioned that I also have experience dealing with a child with food allergies. Vivian and I started talking and we have been friends ever since.

Our friendship went far beyond the bond of being parents of a child with food allergies. Vivian’s upbeat spirit and genuine concern for others made her a very special person to be around and I treasure the memories of our times together. We supported each other through various challenges and Vivian remained optimistic while dealing with her own difficulties.

One Sunday this past June Vivian called me and asked if I wanted to get together that day—our get-togethers were typically planned at the last-minute.  Luckily I was available and Vivian decided that we should both get massages, since we often talked about taking care of ourselves and this seemed to always fall to a lower priority. Vivian scheduled our appointments and we both really enjoyed the treat! Afterward we discussed how great this was and agreed to do it again soon. Sadly, this was the last time we saw each other.

Vivian has remained in my thoughts so much these last few weeks; I can only imagine the depth of pain that her family is feeling. I am honored that I had the privilege of being her friend and I know that her strength and positive character will live on through her beautiful daughters.

My name is Mari Ann Wulbecker and I have been blessed to be loved by and do life with Vivian for 30 years. Whether we saw each other weekly as we served in Promiseland or not as often, my world was a better place being with Viv.

I’ve had a front row seat watching Vivian love God and people. Every day Viv strived to grow closer to Jesus and serve Him.

I watched Vivian love Becca and Tori and change and educate the entire northwest suburbs concerning food allergies.

I watched as Viv love our 5 children, then their spouses and then our grandchildren. Viv would regularly show up with perfect items to bestow on our family because she was all about listening to hearts. Like the time our oldest daughter, Amy, was starting her freshman year at Moody Bible Institute. There was a dress code in 1996 where women had to wear long skirts. There was Viv with her wardrobe of business suits and long skirts. Amy began school in Vivian’s clothes, complete with shoulder pads.

Every year our children and grandchildren were blessed with a small red envelope with one dollar inside to celebrate the Chinese New Year.

One of my favorite Vivian stories, and we laughed about it often, was when Viv was very pregnant with Becca. We were sitting at a softball game on the bleachers and someone recommended Viv eat Chinese food to bring on labor. Vivian was sitting behind me and I quickly felt her face next to mine and she said “wouldn’t you think I’d be immune?” Well, Vivian did eat Chinese food the night Becca was born but was still in such denial that she waited to admit labor until she was gripping the wall to withstand the contractions.

For 25 years, Viv’s family and ours watched 4th of July fireworks together on the lawn outside Arlington Race Track. I know those fireworks pale in comparison to the colors and sounds of Heaven when Vivian walked in with no knee pain.

Notoriously, when our time together would come to an end, Viv would say that she had to go. After 10 or 15 more minutes of being together, she would say in a panic “ got to go” and start running the other way. I spent many a moments watching her sprint away knowing there would always be a right hand raised as she waived and said “Love you”.

Vivian, I will miss your laugh. I will miss all of you my dear, dear friend. However, I know our great God is good and His promises are true so I will see you again!

I believe this scripture depicts how Vivian would want us all to live: 1Thesalonians 5:16-18 says:
“Rejoice always, pray continuously, give thanks in all circumstances for this is God’s will for you in Christ
Jesus”. We love you Viv.

Mrs. Appelt has been one of the most hospitable second moms I’ve ever had. I was always welcome at her house and was most importantly always fed. Whenever I went over there, I was greeted with popcorn and pink lemonade. On top of that, she always made sure there were activities to do. Trampoline, tanks, ping pong, clay, chalk, bean bag chairs, arts and crafts, eating candy. Whenever I was over at her house I knew I would have a good time. She was just so genuinely caring it created a great environment. Every time before we ate we would always have to go wash our hands, and in her bathroom there were always these cute panda figurines including a soap dispenser to complete the theme. Their location or how many there were was always changing. I’ll never forget how much care she put into the little details. Even the fish in the fish tank were constantly changing, and I was never totally sure why that was.

A great quality Mrs. Appelt possessed was the enthusiasm she showed for everyone. You could tell how much she cared, by the artwork with the stars, from the Riley principle, hanging in the kitchen. Moreover, she attended not only her children’s events and activities, but she also regularly attended the activities and events of her children’s friends. The best thing was that she let her house become your house. I remember there was this game we made up where we would dangle a stuffed animal from the second floor of the house tied to a string right in the entryway room, and someone would be on the second floor lowering it. The person on the bottom floor would then jump up and try to grab the stuffed animal before the person on the second floor could pull up on the string, keeping the stuffed animal right above their grasp. We loved the game, but the problem was, whenever the person on the bottom floor would lunge up for the stuffed animal, the wall would get banged, scratched, and pretty marked every time in our attempts to snag the animal. I have to say, Mrs. Appelt was very kind in this regard, never stopping the game in lieu of the destruction that was occurring upon her house. I found this very admirable. Of course not every activity was destructive, so I’m sure that’s how she managed. But some activities were very frustrating.

I remember one time when I was playing hide-n-seek with Tori, I think that was probably the most classic game, I could not figure out where Tori was hiding. I’d by this time, already checked under the sink cabinet, which she’d already won by hiding in countless times, and I had no clue where she was. At this time, I heard a knocking on the house. Naturally, I went and opened up the front door. No one was there. I heard the knocking again. I walked outside and started to get mad since Tori knew the rule that you couldn’t hide outside, but I didn’t see her. Yet I still heard the knocking. I then went and checked the basement cabinets, yet still no sign of Tori. Still there was knocking every once in a while with no pattern. Whenever you couldn’t find someone in hide-n-seek, you’d always have to go ask Mrs. Appelt. Sometimes she’d give you a hint and other times she’d say she had no idea. This was one of those times where she said she had no idea, but I’m still not sure if she did or not. She said a woodpecker must be knocking on her house, so I went outside along with her, but we didn’t see any woodpeckers. Then the knocking stopped so we went back inside and I continued to search for Tori, and I heard the knocking again. This proceeded for 10 minutes or so, and I still couldn’t find Tori and got more and more frustrated. Finally, I think with the help of Mrs. Appelt, I decided to look in the main entryway by the windows, and I saw feet under the curtain. Tori had been hiding behind the curtain knocking on the wall! I’m still not sure if Mrs. Appelt knew where Tori was the whole time or not, but little memories of things like that I will always cherish. After that I’m pretty sure some lemonade and popcorn was given to us, which was awesome.

There were so many other great games that she allowed as well, such as ping pong in the basement. She always made sure she was stocked up on Sunny-D when those days occurred. She always let us play tanks on the wii, and the cow game and find the mii and the fish game, which Tori always beat me at. Surprisingly, she also let us play the rockstar games where Brian or I would sing and Tori would play the guitar or drums and then we’d switch. I do have to say those jam sessions got to be very loud, and she never interfered. The trampoline as well with the giant baseball was sooooo cool, and always lemonade and popcorn would be waiting.

As hospitable and welcoming of her own house as she was, she did so many other wonderful things on top of that. Every Chinese New Year she would always make sure to drop off oranges, as well as the dollar bills. She always would give us a ride to the airport and pick up our newspapers when we were out of town. Tori, I know you ended up doing that a lot, so thanks. She was also very inclusive with her church as well. She invited us to the Christmas show held here, and that was an experience like no other. Also activities going on such as dodgeball or that huge youth event with the church we were always included in. When going to dodgeball she allowed us to take some candy from the candy drawer, which was heaven in a drawer, and gave us some tattoos to put on. While we were driving to Hoffman Estates High School, where the tournament was being held, I decided to put the turtle tattoo on my eye. So I closed my eye and placed the tattoo on for a minute or so with the wet towel, and then I took off the towel and asked everyone how I looked. I think it turned out pretty well, but I realized pretty soon after that I couldn’t open my eye since the tattoo went over my eyelash and glued my eye shut. What seemed like a good idea at the time turned out to not be so great, so I told her while she was driving that I had tattooed a turtle to my eye. She said, “You did what?” But was pretty calm throughout the whole situation. This patience exhibited during my questionable actions exemplified her as the great person she is.

I can say that what she did for me for all those years will never be forgotten. There are so many more memories that I have of her, that I unfortunately don’t have time to share today. She truly did so much for me alone, and I can’t imagine how much she did for others as well. There will always be a place in my heart for Mrs. Appelt, and I know I’ll remember her by these stories. I hope you got to see another side of this truly wonderful woman. I was deeply touched by her kindness, and know she will be waiting in heaven, with popcorn and lemonade.

Hi, I am Susan Zint, a friend of Vivian’s. Today I am honored & humbled to speak about and celebrate her life. While these are my unique experiences with Vivian, I know you share in the pleasure of knowing her and how she touched so many lives.

Vivian and I met through our children’s sports programs. Tori and Emily played basketball and soccer together. Recently I discovered the girls had been on the same kindergarten soccer team, but we didn’t know each other until we joined the ACES team in 4th grade. Vivian was the first mom to welcome me to the parents group. The team had been formed the year before and we knew few people. Her warm and outgoing personality made me feel immediately comfortable. Vivian spent her time on the sidelines “working the parent crowd”. She knew instinctively the importance of making these support connections and how to develop community. Her stories captivated us and sometimes distracted us from the games so we learned to mulit-task, watch our children and listen. Vivian always seemed to know someone who knew someone. She was the first to offer carpool rides and many times she and I traveled together to the away games. I don’t know how many of you know that Vivian was a talker,(PAUSE) but so am I, and we’d laugh as we’d share the air-space as though we were kicking a soccer ball back & forth to each other.

Quintessential mom and uber volunteer, Vivian was often in the grade school classroom year after year, she organized parent contact information for the travel sports teams & the season end party for the kids and made sure the coaches were acknowledged, & was usually the first parent to work concessions for the high school teams. With big dreams for Becca and Tori, she guided their achievements and progress academically and with sports (basketball, softball, soccer and badminton to name the most recent). Knowing how important it is to be well rounded, she made sure both had exposure to the beauty of music as both were percussionists in the BGHS marching band. On fall Friday nights you could spot Vivian amongst the crowd, with her friendly hello and welcomes to all she knew, parent and students alike. Few missed her warm gaze and entreaty, “Hi, how are you? Want to sit with us? How are your parents? Are they here tonight?” And she would always ask something personal, having remembered the small details that let each know she’d been listening when they last spoke.

Tori’s diagnosis as an infant with severe allergies was the event that turned Vivian into a fierce advocate for her children. She threw herself into understanding what she needed to do to make sure her sweet child could thrive. She left her profession in Marketing; sacrificing her career, but never complained, as her love for her child took precedence over her own ambitions. Vivian was instrumental in educating coaches and teachers about the dangers of these allergies. With us parents she always made sure we knew what Tori could eat or not, but was so polite she insisted on bringing Tori food she prepared for birthday parties and other events. She never wanted any of us to take extra effort to create a special meal. Her energy to “market” the importance of understanding food allergies & her pioneer role to spread the word has resulted, today, in an exponentially increased level of awareness within our community.

Vivian was a kind and gentle friend, morally centered and spoke her mind. You always knew her values and where she stood. Even if a message was tough to deliver, she would do it with care and concern for our wellbeing and take special care to use kind words. Beyond the kids’ sports world Vivian and I connected as parents managing the difficulties of a divorce on children. She had excellent advice on how to navigate circumstances, always looking for the good outcome, taking the high road and making sure the children’s needs were first and foremost. Vivian’s most precious gift to those she loved was her time and attention. She knew what was important. Her ability to focus on each of us exclusively and in the moment made each feel cared for and valued. Vivian cultivated and nurtured her relationships. She lived her values and demonstrated great integrity, character and honesty. A role model for her friends, family and most importantly her children, Vivian was an excellent listener. Vivian was a committed Christian & she shared her faith by ministering to others. She regularly invited us to join her in worship and other events that were good for the soul and to serve the community. Emily went with Tori and Vivian for a youth group event to pack food at Willow. I went with her to a church service and we had a wonderful shared uplifting experience. Her engaging smile and vivacious spirit drew us in to share her faith and what she had found in her life’s walk with Jesus. Vivian lived a humble, ordinary life in service to God. . . yet her impact was extraordinary. She was always thankful for what she did have and how the Lord always provided that which she needed at exactly the time she needed it. Quietly strong, but fiercely determined, Vivian inspired many. Her willingness to be a servant leader has prepared her for her life now with the Lord.

Her time with me occurred exactly when I needed it. She would call and say, “I’ve been thinking about you, may I come over to pray with you?” to raise me up to the Lord for strength during Andrew’s 4 year battle with brain cancer. She made sure her daughters drew closer to both of my children, helping them to see how important having a support community was during a crisis. Vivian did many practical caring things too: brought over fortune cookie treats with an uplifting card, she made meals, engaged Andrew in conversation to make him laugh and most importantly came to see him at the house while he was in hospice. Not an easy task for a mom who had a beloved child the same age.

Mostly importantly, however, her legacy is her precious daughters, Becca and Tori. Becca and Tori, if she were speaking to you today she would tell you that she deeply loves you and that she is so proud of the beautiful young women you are becoming, inside and out. You speak your minds, you develop goals and strive to achieve, you know how to be a friend and how to find great ones to surround yourself. You understand what is truly important in life and you show you can make good choices. She will live in your hearts from here forward. That physical ache you feel in the middle of your chest is the stretching that is occurring in your heart to make room for her there. In your quiet times she will be that soft voice that guides you. She will send you special signs to let you know she’s okay; like a rainbow when you need it most. She resides with the Lord with all of your family that has gone before her and is reunited with them now. You will see her again someday and her legacy lives on through you.

I leave you with a saying from the Bhagavad Gita, an ancient Hindu text on harmony, that to me reflects the essence of your beloved mother: “A gift is pure when it is given from the heart to the right person at the right time and at the right place, and when we expect nothing in return”.

I have known Vivian since Tori and my Em entered kindergarten.  She was my first Riley "mom friend."  In usual Viv fashion, she was the one to introduce herself and extend a hand.  She always had kind words for everyone and compliments for their children and their accomplishments.  Viv was my companion at basketball games, football games, band concerts, parades, and never ending track meets.


We cried together after her return from dropping Becca off in Boston and I was counting on her to hold my hand when I was faced with the same reality with my Em.  Becca and Tori are Viv's legacy.  She loved and sacrificed more than even they may realize so that they could be happy, healthy, successful young women.  She has much to be proud of, so mission accomplished.  Great job Viv!


There was so much we had to say to each other the evening she left.  I was blessed with her last moments.  I am glad I was with her, for her.  I will never forget her smile, her laugh, her kindness, her generosity, her humble presence, her genuine friendship, her grace.  I feel lost without her but I know she will find a way to guide and advise me as she has always done.  


I will miss you forever Viv. Thank you for being in my life.        

I met Vivian about 12 years ago playing softball in a "mom's" league.  Win or lose we always had a good time and a good laugh!  This picture is after we FINALLY beat the young moms of the "purple team" after years of trying.  Gone but never forgotten.  Your smile, engaging personality and all around joy will be missed. 

I feel very lucky to have known Vivian.  She was a woman who was kind, unpretentious, genuine and just a delight to talk to.  Vivian made friends so easily because of these qualities and of course her laugh.  You couldn't help but laugh when she was laughing.  But if there was one thing that stood out above the rest was her love and dedication to her daughters.  She wanted nothing but good things for them and always put them first above anything else.

Vivian's smiling face was always welcoming and when we would run into each other (it always seemed to be at Jewel), we would be standing there talking for an hour.  My frozen items would almost be thawed, but I didn't care our conversation would be worth it.

I will never forget you Vivian.  May you rest in peace my friend.

I have known Vivian for the past 7 years since having Becca and Tori for both their freshman and sophomore years in my honors math class.  She was so easy to talk to and we instantly clicked as Vivian was such a caring parent to her girls and supportive of their teachers/coaches.  It is so rewarding when you develop special relationships with parents who you can also call friends.  I will cherish the moments when we'd sit and chat in the stands at the football and basketball games, or chat long in the parking lot as she was was dropping off Tori to practice.  We shared stories of our Chinese upbringings, our travels, our lives, and she was always genuinely concerned with her contagious laugh and smiling face when you saw her.

When Tori started writing her name in Chinese characters on her math tests, it dawned on me that we shared the same last name of Wong/Huynh in Chinese characters that Tori would call me "Uncle Binh" and occassionally practice traditional Chinese ettiquette by bowing her head down and calling me laoshi (teacher/master).  And soon afterwards, I would be getting a bag of fortune cookies for Chinese New Year, and then a pineapple on the first day of school upon returning from my summer vacation to Hawaii from both Vivian and Tori, and then a big watermellon this year after my trip to the outdoors of Minnesota.  Too funny, but that was Vivian instilling everyday humor and values to her daughters.

I know Vivian's greatest accomplishment that she is most proud of was raising two beautiful, caring and hard working daughters in Becca and Tori, who she gave everything to be involved in their everyday life with family and friends, church, school, and sports.

I will miss you Vivian, my friend, but I know you will continue to live through what you have instilled in your daughers.  (I know Tori is laughing since she knew how awkward it was for us that I never called her Vivian personally since we always spoke like good old friends, but we were always very respectful in calling each other Ms. Appelt and Mr. Huynh.)

My parents bought a small condo in Ocean City Maryland with the idea that our family would often visit for vacations. Sandwiched between the Atlantic Ocean and Assawoman Bay, we could go splashing in the ocean surf or go crabbing and fishing in the Bay. This picture shows Grandma Eva, little Becca, and Viv trying to catch some fish (crabbing was better!). Viv was always trying to get family together, though we lived so far apart. Vacations were never solo affairs.

Today I have lost a friend.

I have known many people. Some pass through my life quickly. Some stay for decades. I would have liked Vivian in my life for decades.

Our paths crossed at work. We bonded over children, aging (our own and our parents), and health issues.

Vivian was a woman of my generation. A woman with children and parent responsibilities...and guilt that we don't do enough.

I am lucky to have known Vivian, if only for a few years. She truly showed grace and humor under pressure. I will miss her.

I first met Viv when I coached Becca and my daughter Emily on the undefeated girls softball team the Dimondbacks.  When you start coaching you always hope you will develop relationships with the athletes.  This year I was blessed to have parents that I would come to call friends.  We had a dream team that year and Viv will always be remembered for her contagious laugh, welcoming smile and love for her daughters.  We would laugh about how after that season all the girls were split up because they were just to good to play together.  I will never be able to watch another frontier days water barrel fight without thinking about you and the hot day watching Becca.  You will be greatly missed and never forgotten.