82 Birthday
Second birthday of yours without you here to celebrate with. This holiday season was much tougher than the first. Shock is a massive, comforting buffer...and then reality sets in. Missing you and Mom so much. xoxo
Second birthday of yours without you here to celebrate with. This holiday season was much tougher than the first. Shock is a massive, comforting buffer...and then reality sets in. Missing you and Mom so much. xoxo
The first anniversary of your departure is upon us. We miss you so and will honor you today and always. xoxo
Happy Birthday Dad! Love and miss you so much. xoxo
I WISH THE MOMENT HAD NOT COME
TO SAY GOODBYE TO TWO NOT ONE
WITH TWICE THE SADNESS
AND SURPRISING PAIN
THE FLOODS OF TEARS
ALL SHED IN VAIN
UNANSWERED PHONE CALLS
SLAY ME BRUTAL
ALTHOUGH I KNOW
TO DIAL IS FUTILE
AND IN YOUR HOUSE
TWO EMPTY BEDS
WHERE NEVER AGAIN
WILL YOU LAY YOUR HEADS
WE FEAR FOR FEELINGS LEFT UNSPOKEN
AND EARLY GIFTS WILL NOT BE OPENED
YOUR QUIET GESTURES LARGE AND SMALL
ARE AMONG THE THINGS WE NOW RECALL
THOSE SMALL REMINDERS EVERY DAY
OF LITTLE THINGS YOU USED TO SAY
AND EVERY MIRROR’S SYMPATHY
REFLECTS YOUR FACES DEEP IN ME
A BOX OF PHOTOS
TELL THE STORIES
OF YOUR YOUTH
AND ALL YOUR GLORIES
OF HOW YOU ENDED
UP TOGETHER
AND ALL THE STORM CLOUDS
YOU HAVE WEATHERED
WITH ALL THESE YEARS
NOW PASSED BETWEEN US
OUR SLIGHT REGRETS
WILL NOT DEMEAN US
WE LIVE WITH LOVE
AND ECHOED LAUGHTER
FOR SILLY THINGS
AND NOTHING AFTER
AS MEMORIES RUSH
AND NOSTALGIA FLASHES
YOUR HISTORIES FILL
TWO URNS WITH ASHES
WE ARE SO UNSURE
OF WHAT WE’RE THINKING
EXCEPT THIS CONSTANT
FEEL OF SINKING
ACCORDING TO OUR PARENT’S WAYS
AHEAD OF US ARE BRIGHTER DAYS
WE’LL LAUGH AGAIN AND SMILE AND SING
AS ALL OF US MOVE PAST THIS THING
NOW, NOT TO END THIS POEM IN GLOOM
OR LEAVE YOUR SPIRITS SEVERED
EVEN WHEN OUR SMILES DO BLOOM
WE’LL MISS THEM BOTH, FOREVER
Church
Anything Barbecued
Valentines Day
Zombies (inside joke)
Japan
Sounds of Jets flying overhead
Shirley Temples (the drink)
Tony the tiger fake tails
Old ford station wagons
Chocolate cream pies
Country music
His math tutoring (which by the way never worked)
Turtles
Sunday drives
Dairy Queen
Dunkin Donuts
Dance Contests doing "the Twist"
Marshmallow Peeps
Hotel rooms
3 Musketeers Candy Bars
Corn Huskers Lotion
Cherry Vanilla Ice Cream
Billowing Japanese Draperies
Wms. Lectric Shave
Chocolate Cream Pie
The Boston Red Sox
Chimichangas
PEEPS!
Poodles
Peanut Butter
"Pull My Finger"
Steak
Old Spice Original Scent
All things Post Office
My Prostate...
Lucky Wishbone Fried Chicken (and Shrimp)
The word "Third"
Billowing Japanese Draperies
My Sister and Brother
Thinking Of My Mom
I have just returned from quite an intense 25 hours with my family. My Dad had his wife, children, son in law, several grandchildren (and spouses as applicable), two great-grandchildren, my Brother's best friend forever, ex-wife, and new love (all 3 members of our family), around him this weekend, along with delightful and caring hospice caretakers and well-wishers sending messages via the email he refused to learn to use, for the official (and in my case, final) goodbye. Kind of a multi-generational Big Chill it was (though only the oldest among us knew that reference - rent it on DVD or BluRay), with everything but crying in the shower happening - I am planning that for after I scrub my tub and replace my tired old loofah (insert your own suggestive joke here) . We ate (...and ate and ate) and shared tales of old, to raucous laughter (2 hours of intermittent sleep makes everything funnier). I'm surprised he didn't pass just to get away from the noise. I flew home tonight wearing my Dad's beloved Boston Red Sox team ball cap, his aftershave, and my heart on my sleeve.
The end is imminent, and I hope he passes soon. Such a strong and loving man deserves to have to struggle only briefly at his end. I am grateful for the support of family and friends and humbled by the concern and care of folks previously unknown to me, who loved my Father and will miss him in the same lasting way that I will. For example, the old guy neighbor who's eyes filled with tears upon hearing about the developing situation. He was invited in to say goodbye and told us that my Dad was a real talker and always had an equal interest in sharing a story and a laugh with a friend, or a stranger. Then he reiterated lovingly, "man, your Dad can talk and talk and talk", and even added the hand signal for chatty (I reckon the old man has passed down a trait or two..). And the mail carrier, who over the last week had missed seeing Dad waiting each day for a friendly conversation at the community mailbox. She came by the house and apologized for being nosey, but was concerned that something might be wrong, as even in this slight activity Dad was so reliable. My family invited her in to express her fondness directly and tell him how he brightened her work day and how very much she would miss him.
Some of you know my Dad and even love him. Some of you haven't had the pleasure but have long heard the tales (possibly embellished or exaggerated by this story-teller) of his exploits. All of us should be reminded of what a decent man, what a caring provider for his family, what an honorable person, he is.
Now go and hug your family, or your pets, or your pharmacologist, or your favorite sex-worker. It really does make a difference to them.
Oh, and consider yourself hugged by me.
xoxo